[Dear Reader, forgive me for dithering but I've not been happy with my previous story ("My Liam") and am hoping this revise will make a better read. Hopefully, also, it enhances the linkage to future (and more adventurous) episodes in the series. Please read it and see if you like it better. A lesson I can take from this is not to publish in haste!]
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I had a rather sequestered upbringing and had always been a reserved and nervous girl. My father had a very conservative and strict, even militaristic outlook, and my mother sometimes related cautionary tales about the nasty things that some males might occasionally do. It had all left me pretty confused about relationships with males. Even my interest in secondary school boys had been hampered by wariness of their boisterous behaviour.
So when I finished high school I was rather nervous about starting at university. I had grown up in a country town where even the local area secondary school was quite small, and transferring to a large university seemed a big challenge. Adding to my apprehension was the thought of having to board with strangers.
My anxiety on this last point was a little assuaged when my mother was able to arrange accommodation for me with a cousin of hers. She told me a bit about him and his wife. Ian, she said. was a fair bit younger than her, only about 38 or so, and Louisa a little younger still. Mother assured me that Ian was a nice man and she thought I would be very happy and comfortable living with them.
And so the day came when my parents kissed their 18-year-old Natalie goodbye and I nervously set off for the big wide world. As had been arranged, I took a cab from the train station to Ian and Louisa's home. It proved to be a very nice house. Louisa, a slender woman with smile lines and curly black hair, welcomed me warmly explaining that Ian would be home from work later. She showed me where everything was, including my room and the bathroom, adding that if I ever found the bathroom occupied I was welcome to use their ensuite. Then she helped me to unpack and make use of the wardrobe and drawers,.
I had already started feeling more relaxed about my new living arrangements, settling into my room and chatting with Louisa on and off until Ian arrived. And my mother had been right -- Ian was indeed a very nice man, quietly spoken if also rather reserved, almost shy actually. He wasn't stunningly good-looking but he had a kind face and a nice smile, and dark brown hair with lighter, coppery streaks in places. When we met he just smiled and said simply "Hello, Natalie" without any fuss.
That was my first meeting with him but subsequently, time and again, he proved to be ever so kind, caring and sensitive. There was the time Louisa, worn out after house cleaning, became annoyed and frustrated on then seeing the state of my room. It was the first time she had spoken sharply to me. I was cut to the quick afterwards and Ian could sense my distress. He came alongside me and took my hand gently, saying "It'll be all right, darling. Louie had reason to get cranky but it will blow over. Go and fix up your room now; you'll be all right, sweetheart." It must not have been easy for someone of his reserved nature to speak so tenderly and I could appreciate his compassion.
I'm embarrassed to confess it but, even at my adult age, I began to develop quite a consuming infatuation with kind, gentle Ian. He had called me Darling and Sweetheart and was very empathetic. I fantasised about being his girlfriend or his partner, about sharing life with him in that nice house, about gentle embraces and caresses and kisses. And in that mindset, I thirsted to know all about him -- secretly monitoring his movements and actions, observing what he liked in food, conversation, books, TV; and looking for anything else I could learn about him.
One night I was going past their closed bedroom door when the phone rang in the kitchen and Louisa came out to answer it. As she passed me I noticed that she had not quite shut the bedroom door. It was unlatched and still open about an inch. I could see movement through the gap and on the spur of the moment saw this as a chance to check out what my adored Ian might be doing. Louisa was obviously settling down for a long phone conversation so, keeping a safe distance from the gap, I carefully peered in.
Honestly, in my excitement it had not occurred to me that Ian might be getting ready for bed. I could only see from an angle but was surprised to see him at the foot of the bed, facing away from the door, in pyjama top and a pair of dark blue jocks. I knew I was not supposed to see him like that but it was gratifying to know what colour Ian's undies were -- just a bit more information about my beloved! I could also see that his legs were not the most muscular but quite nicely proportioned and smooth-skinned.
