I was 38, divorced, without a job and my girlfriend had just dumped me for a man with more money, that is to say, a man with a job. In fact, it was now a year after the law firm who had employed me for ten years had let me go --undoubtedly because my salary had reached twice that of the most junior attorneys. My savings were gone and my unemployment benefits had just expired.
I was a good lawyer, very experienced in divorce law and general civil litigation, but despite all the resumes I had sent and the numerous ads I had answered, no one was interested. I had even applied for legal positions which involved areas of law I knew nothing about. No luck at all.
So, when I responded to yet another ad, I expected nothing different. In fact, I barely paid attention to what the ad said. The only thing that stood out in my memory was that the ad required a head to toe picture. But I, of course, realized that attractiveness was an aid to any profession, so without another thought I attached a full body picture of myself in my best suit.
A call came a week later. The female voice told me they wanted to interview me right away, in fact, in three hours, if possible. I quickly accepted and typed the address she gave me into the notes app on my phone. As I got ready, I realized I had not kept the ad and I remembered only a small portion of what it had said. I would just have to "wing it."
The address brought me to a two-story building on the outskirts of the city. Plastered on the outside were three huge, pink letters: "F.E.M." The lobby was empty, but for the same letters nailed to the wall. Underneath the letters on the wall was the full name: "Female Empowerment Management." Ahead about ten steps was a wall and a single wooden door. I scratched my head and checked the address on my phone. As I was doing so, I heard the door open and a female voice ask, "Mac?"
I looked up from my phone and into the light blue eyes of a beautiful, blonde woman, dressed in a black miniskirt and tight, white blouse that showed ample cleavage. My mouth froze. I must have looked comical, because she chuckled. "It's ok," she said, "this happens a lot--men getting confused about this place. That's why I come to the lobby."
"Ok, sorry," I blurted out. I wasn't sure if I was more off balance by the sign, or her looks. I pulled my gaze off of her gorgeous face and back to the wall sign. "I answered an ad for a legal position and I am not sure I am in the right place. I don't know anything about "female empowerment."
She smiled. "Well, hopefully we can change that." She was holding the door open and she gestured towards the inside. "Come in." She waited as I considered whether to comply. A streak of impatience flashed across her face. Her lips pursed. "Last chance," she said, as she held the door open.
What choice did I have? I went up to her and followed her through the doorway. The ass beneath her short, black skirt looked tight and pert as she brought me down a hallway. A quick film fantasy of that ass in my bed ran through my head.
She ushered me into a big office, with a large, expensive mahogany desk. There was a woman sitting behind who looked to be forty and not nearly as attractive as the one who I had first met. This woman had a plain face, no makeup and her black hair was cut short. She pointed to a chair in front of the desk. Before her was my resume and my photograph. The woman who brought me to the office sat in a chair off to the side.
"Mr. Zander, we are in the business of female empowerment and we have a position available for one of slots in legal. You have the necessary background. But what we need to know is, do you have the other attributes that we require?"
I looked at her quizzically. I also had noticed that neither of the women had introduced themselves. I was about to ask, politely, for their names, but the woman behind the desk spoke first.
"Please stand up, Mr. Zander," she said.
I looked at her with a furrowed brow. Her mien became stern. I kept thinking about how badly I needed money. I had never been asked to do such a thing at an interview. I began to wonder what was going on. Her expression darkened. She was absolutely serious. I glanced at my picture on her desk. Seems that appearance is exceptionally important here.
I stood.
She relaxed and sat back. Her eyes roamed from my eyes, down to my chest and down from there. I blushed. She grinned. "Now turn around."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"Something wrong?" she asked.
I craned my neck towards the woman who had met me in the lobby. "Yes, we need a very thorough understanding of how other women will think of you. In any job involving clients, looks help. As the ad said, for a male position in our company, looks are VERY important.
I gulped, still confused and unsure. "Male position?" But I sucked it up and turned in a circle.
"What do you think, Miriam?" asked the older woman.
"Fine ass. Nice bulge. Handsome face. He passes the first test, I'd say, April."
I gaped at the two women.
April nodded to Miriam, then pressed a button built into her desk.
I plopped down in my chair. "Listen, I..."
April raised her palm.