Finding Fanny

*****

I pulled up in front of the house and parked. It was just after noon on Sunday and I was here for my monthly obligation, the family dinner. I shouldn't make it sound like it's a chore, we had been doing this as long as I could remember, although now that I'm grown and living on my own we don't do it as often as we did back then. When I was living at home and growing up, we had a formal Sunday afternoon dinner every week. My mother would spend hours cooking and getting things ready for us and then we would sit down in the dining room for a great meal and time to discuss what was going on in all of our lives. When you are eight years old there really isn't a heck of a lot going on in your life, but as we got older there were more things that we could discuss. Of course, when you're a teenager there are also a lot of things that you don't want your parents to know about so it was a balancing act.

I got out of the car and walked to the door, I knew what was coming next. Since my sister and I had moved out and were on our own, our mother had given us some leniency and our family dinner had been relegated to the second Sunday of each month. As I reached the door I pushed the bell, waiting for someone to answer the door and allow me in. This had been a minor issue over the years, my parents insisting that since this had been my childhood home I didn't need to wait for someone to allow me entrance, I should merely just walk through. It had never been an issue when I was living home, but as I went to college and started returning only for vacations and summer break I had felt less connected to the house. Now that I had been out on my own for six years, I thought it considerate to ring the bell and wait for permission to enter. I know it wasn't necessary, but I thought it would show my parents some respect. I didn't have any thoughts that I might walk in on them going at it on the living room floor, that was something my parents would never do and the thought of it kind of turned my stomach.

The door opened and I was facing my sister Robin.

"Why do you always do this Ray, you know you don't have to ring the bell." She started repeating the same conversation we had every month.

"Come on Robin, you know I feel funny just walking in since I don't live here any more."

"I've heard it all before but you know how mom and dad feel about it." She continued, we had been over this part too.

She stepped aside and I walked in before she closed the door behind me.

"Is that your brother Robin?" I heard my mother's voice from the kitchen, but I knew she knew exactly who had been at the door.

"Yeah mom, it's Ray."

"Can you explain to him that he doesn't have to ring the bell when he comes over. He doesn't seem to listen when I try to tell him." Mom's voice drifted out of the kitchen.

"He doesn't listen to me either." Robin announced with mock exasperation in her voice. This same conversation had occurred every month for I can't remember how long.

"I need to talk to you Ray." Robin said softly as we moved into the living room.

My Spidey sense started tingling as soon as she had said it. This usually meant she wanted something from me and I knew I would find out shortly.

"Give me a minute Sis, I should go in and say hi to mom first."

"Okay, I'll wait for you here." She said before sitting on the sofa while I went into the kitchen to say hello to my mother.

My mother was standing at the stove just as I expected her to be. She was a good cook and spent a lot of time and effort on the Sunday dinners and I couldn't complain about it, the food was certainly better than anything I could cook on my own or the fast food I sometimes found myself eating.

"Hi mom. It's nice to see you." I started as I moved behind her to give her a kiss. She turned her head enough so I could reach her cheek before returning to her work after I had brushed it with my lips.

"Your father is still upstairs getting ready, he should be down shortly. Dinner will be ready in about half an hour. You can grab a beer if you want, I picked some up at the store yesterday." She said without interrupting her actions.

"You want a beer Robin?" I shouted to my sister in the other room before opening the refrigerator to get one for myself.

"I guess I could if you want to bring it out."

I took two bottles from the refrigerator and popped the caps before walking back into the living room to see what Robin had on her mind. I handed her one of the bottles and then took a sip from mine before setting it on a coaster on the coffee table.

"Thanks." She said as she took the bottle I offered her, taking a sip from hers as well.

The TV was on with a baseball game playing. I wasn't much into sports and I knew Robin wasn't either, and even if I was, the teams playing weren't any that I followed. As I sat she turned the volume up with the remote and I realized the only reason the TV was on was so no one would hear her conversation with me. My Spidey sense started tingling even more now.

"What's on your mind Robin?" I started cautiously.

"I want you to do something for me." She asked, her eyes looking first toward the kitchen and then the stairway where my father would descend once he finished getting dressed. I wondered what she had to say if she was so concerned someone might hear her.

"And what do you want me to do for you?" I asked, I realized I didn't need to since she had never been hesitant about telling me what was on her mind in the past.

"I want you to go out with a friend of mine." She said softly, still looking around the room to be certain no one might be listening to our conversation.

"Oh no! I'm not going out on a blind date with one of your friends." I said forcefully, not that I even knew who she might want me to go out with but I had heard all of the horror stories about blind dates.

"And why not? You don't even know who my friend is." She said defensively.

"All I know is that if you have to try to set me up with her, there must be some reason she can't find her own date." I tried to be logical. Logic had never worked with Robin in the past and I didn't think it would now, but I did need something to say in my defense.

"She's a good friend of mine and she just has a couple of problems..." Robin started before trailing off.

I knew I would hate myself, but if I didn't ask Robin would tell me anyway. "What kind of problems?"

"She has some issues with self-confidence and I think she's a little insecure about herself."

"And how will going out with me help her self confidence?" I wondered aloud.

"She just has trouble with guys." Robin continued without offering any more specifics.

"And what does that mean? Has she had a lot of bad experiences or does she just hate men?" I answered, I wasn't sure exactly why I had said what I did.

"She is unsure about guys right now, she thinks she might even be gay."

"What?? Why would I want to go out with a lesbian? Why don't you go out with her?" This was getting more and more bizarre the longer Robin talked.

"Are you afraid you're not going to get laid if you go out with her? And I'm not that way! You know I'm seeing Porter anyhow."

I don't know where her comment about getting laid came from, but I didn't think it was appropriate.

"I don't go out with women with the expectation of getting laid." I responded, it was true. Well, it was kind of true. When I went out with a woman it was in the hope we might end up in bed, but wasn't technically an expectation.

"I didn't say she was gay, I said she's not really sure." Robin tried to rehabilitate her earlier statement.

"So she has self-confidence issues and isn't really sure if she's gay or not. Do I have it right? So tell me again why I might want to go out with her."

"She has a really great personality." Robin offered in her friend's defense.

"A great personality? That's code for fat and ug... err unattractive." This was getting better all the time.

"Look, I told her I thought you might want to go out with her. Say so if you don't, but this means a lot to me." She answered softly, lowering her eyes and fluttering her eyelashes demurely. This hadn't worked any time she had tried it in the past while we were growing up and it wouldn't work now. Unfortunately, she did know what would work and that would be her constant harassment of me until I agreed to do what she wanted me to. I could try to hold out as long as possible but in the end the best way to get her to stop harassing me was to give in. She knew it and I knew it but somehow we always had to play out the game.

"Look Robin, this woman doesn't need a date, she needs a therapist."

"You just don't understand. She doesn't need other people judging her, she needs some compassion. She's already lost over 100 pounds." I could tell Robin was almost in tears at this point, apparently this woman meant more to her than I had realized.

"100 pounds? Just how many more does she have to lose?" I wondered.

"I'm not sure, maybe 60?" robin's answer was more of a question than a statement, but she offered it very hesitantly.

"Okay, if I agree to take her out, and that's a big if, what did you tell her she could expect from me?" My resolve was starting to crumble.

Robbins mood picked up considerably at my last statement, she sat up straighter and I could see a smile start to form on her lips.

"I didn't say anything specifically, I thought I would leave that up to you. I don't think you have to do anything fancy, maybe just dinner and a movie or something like that." She left the thought hanging.

"I'll think about it." I answered just as my father came down the steps to join us in the living room.

"So what's the score?" He asked, glancing over at the game on the TV.

"I don't even know, dad. We just turned it on for a little background noise." I offered, that's really all the TV was doing at this point.

My mother called us in to dinner shortly, all talk about me taking Robin's friend out was quickly forgotten. I was grateful that any talk about Robin's request was not brought into the conversation, my parents were the type who would feel sorry for Robin's friend and the three of them might potentially gang up on me until I acquiesced to my sister's request. I appreciated her consideration by not pursuing the subject in front of them.

Just as it always was, Sunday dinner was great and we spent two hours eating and going over events in our life, nothing special there. Shortly it was time for me and Robin to leave, each of us needing to get back to our own places.

"I'm still not certain about this, but assuming I agree, what do you want me to do?" I asked Robin as we stood near the door before leaving.

"I've got her number right here, you can call her once you make up your mind and work out the details. I know she'll really appreciate it." Robin said, digging into her purse before taking out one of her business cards with a number written on the back.

"You know, you haven't even told me what your friend's name is." I mentioned as I took the card and toyed with it before putting it into my pocket.

Robin looked a little embarrassed before softly saying "Fanny."

"You did say Frannie, you know like short for Frances?" I asked, even though I was pretty certain I had heard exactly what she said.

"No, her name is Fanny. It's her real name or at least that's what it says on her driver's license." Robin added, I'm sure she thought I didn't believe her.

Things just kept getting better and better. What else could go wrong??

"Ray, there's a big dog peeing on your car outside."

"Thanks dad!"

*****

I thought about Robin's request all the way home, I still wasn't sure exactly what I was going to do. Of course that was foolish, I knew that if I didn't I would never hear the end of it, the only way to get her off my back was to do what she wanted. She always knew just how to push the right buttons as we were growing up and she always got her way. I couldn't fault her for that, she was my sister and I loved her dearly. I guess we were fortunate, we didn't have the antagonistic relationship a lot of siblings seem to. In fact, I had always tried to be her protector as we were growing up. I don't know if she knew it, maybe she did and maybe she didn't, but she never said so if she had a clue.

When we were younger she didn't need a lot of protecting, we were just two kids whose lives sometimes meshed and sometimes didn't. Once we got into high school, I did start to feel more protective of her. I guess as I started becoming more aware of my own development, both physical and sexual, I started seeing Robin in a different light. Don't misunderstand me, I didn't have any sexual feelings for her and despite what others might do, I had never even thought about her in sexual fantasies I had. She was a very attractive girl but not one of the super hotties in the school. Unfortunately, that was a problem. Most of the guys in school would fantasize about the super hot girls but knowing they could never get them, went after the girls who were a notch below super hot. Robin fit this criterion perfectly and many guys thought she was attainable. That's where the problem came, she had more attention than she knew what to do with it.

I didn't think she was naïve and I didn't believe I could really dictate who she saw or what she might do, but still tried to do my best to take care of her. If some guy might be bragging around school that his intent was to get into Robin Franklin's panties that weekend, then I felt the need to counsel him. If she wanted to go out with a loser like that I really couldn't tell her no, but I didn't need him posting it around the school that's what his plan was for her. Maybe some of it was just bravado and bragging for his buddies, but I made certain his intentions were not broadcast to the rest of the student body. For the most part I think I did a pretty good job, she managed to make it through high school without any real issues and some of the dead wood who had thought to make inroads with her had been convinced otherwise by my little counseling sessions.

The only real incident came during a period when Robin was going through a rather rebellious phase. For whatever the reason she thought she should do exactly the opposite of what anyone told her. This included our parents and for the period of a few months they weren't certain exactly what to expect from her. I knew that if I tried to tell her one thing she would do the exact opposite so even what little advice I offered her had to be carefully constructed so that she would do what I hoped she would

The object of her interest during this rebellious period was Jack Pruett. I don't know why otherwise intelligent girls somehow become attracted to the bad boy, but Jack was definitely the bad boy of the school. It seemed he was constantly in trouble for one thing or another and for whatever the reason that seemed to attract a lot of girls to him. He had a nose ring and wore his torn pants hanging off his ass. He always had a cigarette behind his left ear which totally violated the school's policy and many a time he had been called into the office to be disciplined for it. I can remember the vice principal taking the cigarette from him and tossing it and then seeing Jack take another from the pack in his pocket and replacing it even as he was walking out the door. He drove what had been his mother's 20-year-old Honda commuter car but he had put one of those fart can mufflers on it to make it louder and also some shiny wheels and tires. He had a big whale tail spoiler on the back that was attached with duct tape but he had the coolest car around if you asked him.

I remember the day Robin let slip that she had agreed to go out with him one Saturday night. She regretted saying it immediately, but then looked at me defiantly as if daring me to say or do anything. I knew better than that so just kept my thoughts to myself and wondered what I could do to prevent her from doing something which I knew she would regret later. Fortunately she ended up not going out with him, he had to cancel out on their date. Somehow a rake had been left lying on the ground next to his car and as he went out to get in one evening he stepped on the tines which were facing up and the handle came up and hit him square in the face. The handle had been heavy metal and broke his nose. It also blackened both of his eyes and he ended up losing his two front teeth. In the hospital emergency room doctors discovered that his idea of hygiene with respect to his nose ring had been to spit on it every once in a while before replacing it. They found a bacterial infection in the cartilage of his nose and before they were finished, most of the cartilage had to be removed. At some point some cosmetic surgery would enable surgeons to replace the damaged cartilage with a plastic prosthesis, but he finished his last year of high school with essentially no nose. This had caused him to be so distraught that he gave up any desire to go out with women for fear that they might be laughing at him. In truth they were laughing at him and many of those who had succumbed to his advances earlier now felt sorry that they had. Funny thing though, he swore that his family had never owned such a rake and couldn't understand how it had been left lying next to his car.

*****

I spent the next two days thinking about Robin's request and worrying about what I might do. In reality I knew I had no options, if I failed to act she would hound me until I gave in. We each knew it so there was no point in trying to put it off to find excuses not to do what she wanted me to do. That part had been settled, but I still had reservations about how to approach this whole thing. Normally meeting a new woman and going out with her had never been an issue for me in the past, but a blind date was new territory for me, and besides that, despite what my sister had done to minimize all of the issues, Robin's friend seemed to be carrying a lot of baggage.

Robin had told me that perhaps just a quick dinner and a movie would be suitable and knowing her, I could probably assume she had already promised her friend that would be our plan. With much trepidation I called Fanny on Wednesday night, not sure exactly what to expect. She picked up right away as though expecting my call but her tone was short and curt. I could sense nervousness in her and remembered what Robin had told me about her various insecurities. I didn't have to be a professional therapist to get that vibe from her. Not wanting to prolong things, I came straight to the point and we made plans for me to pick her up Friday evening about 6.

All day at work on Friday I started to get more nervous about meeting Robin's friend. I tried concentrating on my work and some of it enabled me to lessen my worry, but still it was there in the background waiting to come forward at any second. I knew this was foolish, I mean I'm a mature adult and I had been on several dates in my life that hadn't turned out as well as I would have liked. I was positive this would probably be another and that fact alone shouldn't have worried me, but for some reason it did. I had originally thought to ask her to meet me at the restaurant just to make it easier to bail if things didn't look good, but that seemed like the coward's way out. Shortly before I left work I told myself that I was being silly and that I should just man up and deal with things however they happened. It took a while for me to convince myself but soon I was driving toward home so I could get ready.

I took a quick shower and started to prepare for tonight's date, but then I had to decide what to wear. I knew I had to look nice but at the same time I didn't want to get dressed too nicely just for an informal restaurant and then a dark movie theater. If I had been going out with a new girl I was trying to impress I might have, but now my appearance was less critical to me. I didn't want to appear too casual, so in the end chose a nice shirt and some khakis, I thought it a good compromise between formal and too casual. The clock was ticking as I finished getting ready, I knew I would need to be at her place to pick her up at the appointed hour. Again I worried about time, I didn't want to be late but at the same time showing up too early might look as though I was anxious and I didn't want her to think that. As all these thoughts whirled through my mind I realized I was acting much the same as I had when I was 16 and going to see a girl for the first time in my life. That night had been a little awkward for me but I survived and I assumed I would as well tonight.