It's not like I was abused as a child. Maybe I was ignored at times by my dad more than any thing else. In other words, I think I had a normal child hood. I was shy and craved more attention than I got and when it was time for dating, all my friends had boyfriends and experiences long before I did. But the kind of attention I crave now, I can only attribute to this and some other experiences I had then.
Let me explain some of things that happened that might have changed me and brought something out of me that I can't imagine I would done on purpose. At least at first. Our neighborhood pool was where everyone hung out, all my girl friends, the boys I had crushes on and the one's I didn't. This happened when I was 18 and in my last year of high school. Let me tell you about what I look like, I'm one of those dark chestnut hair girls, my hair is not quite black but a dark brown along with my eyes. My skin is somewhat pale most of the year and I was just larger than an B cup during my high school years from about this time. My legs were athletic from soccer. I was about 5'4" after I quit growing. I always thought I was average looking but many guys since have tried to convince me otherwise.
Well, anyway, there I was on the diving board right in the middle of a hot sunny afternoon. It seemed like everyone was there that day. I was wearing a white and red bikini. My best friend and I were kind of showing off trying to attract some attention of a boy she liked by diving off the board while he was at that end of the pool. So I did the best swan dive I thought I could do, swam over to the steps and climbed out of the pool and started to head back to the diving board. I usually check, I will never know why I did not that day, but I had lost my bikini bottoms in the dive and did not notice until I was up on the side in front of everyone. Well it felt like everyone. It was sooooo embarrassing.
Naturally, I jumped back into the pool and headed to the bottom and got my bikini bottoms back on. Then I got out and headed to the locker room. I was so humiliated. I headed to the first bathroom stall I came to. But in addition to being humiliated, I was excited like nothing ever before. I was visualizing all the faces of the boys whose jaws were dropped open. And I felt the warmth in between my legs building. It was like an outer body experience. My best friend was right behind me but outside the stall.
I was crying a little but I found my hand reaching in between my legs and find my pussy all gooey! I kept telling her to go away but she wouldn't. I was even more turned on and she thought all the sounds I was making was me crying. I had to hold my hand over my mouth as I came. I was not all that sure at the time since this only about the second time I had ever truly cum. Maybe it's that early experience with sex, I don't know but I craved this kind of experience in the future.
I eventually, came out and all my friends picked on me the rest of the day mercilessly. Even a few of the boys made comments about me "diving some more". One made comments about me "going down" but I had no clue what he was talking about until one day when that hit me a couple years later. I was actually kind of naive. My best friend kept on picking at me about the boy she liked who could not stop talking about me. Even though, I secretly enjoyed the attention, I thought I wanted a guy who liked me for who I was, not because he saw me naked. Anyway, my friend eventually dated this guy so it did not really have any effect on anyone...except me.
The next event that happened, was at track practice one day. I was pretty fast for a girl. We wore these nylon running shorts and occasionally some one would run up behind you and "pants" you - meaning, jerk your shorts down. I don't know what got into me this day - I was in a "mood" if you know what I mean. I had been touching myself and making myself cum a lot more lately. My body had filled out a bit more and even though I did not have a boy-friend, I had been on a friendly date or two. Anyway, I had already "pants" a couple of the girls on the team that day. Usually it was not a big deal because we all wear underwear under our uniform. So, there I was talking to about five of the guys on the boys track team when suddenly, my shorts were at my ankles and I was not wearing any underwear. With me being dark haired, the contrast of my pubic hair against my pale skin was just obvious. But it was worse, I lost my balance and fell over into the circle of guys as one of my legs came out of the shorts and my legs flew wide open with me on my back. All five of them had a wide open beaver shot.
I had started keeping my pussy hair cropped low, so I'm sure they saw everything. They just stared as I caught my balance and scrambled to pull my shorts back on. One guy tried to help me up but even he realized things were just awkward along with his buddies.
What really worked out nicely, is that after all this was said and done, everyone just assumed that when I was pants that my panties came down with the shorts not knowing that I had hoped this would happen. However, I did not plan on falling over. This and the other event kind of secretly allowed me to be a slut but happening in ways that was innocent.
I had to finish the meet that day but when I got home that night I had quite a session with myself. I was scared my fluids were running down my legs all day - but it was just sweat. My fantasies involved me exposing myself to those boys but all of them taking me right there in front of the track teams with everyone crowded around cheering me on. What makes a young girl think these things?
Well, I kind of slowed down things after that in high school because I was still embarrassed from some of the comments that were made. I did not want too much attention drawn to myself. And those events had fueled my fantasy life.
A lot of things had entered my head over the years. Most, just too unrealistic to ever come true. They would involve a teacher taking me in front of the class or worse being made to touch myself in front of the school at a pep rally.
I did find a few minor ways to do what I thought was daring. I remember going commando to the gynecologist the first time I insisted my mother not go in there with me. She kept saying, "I'll be out front if you need me."
Little did she know. But this was a big disappointment. The doctor acted like he did not even notice. His nurse looked surprised at first but never said anything either. Being played off like this, it really didn't have the affect on me I wanted. It just seemed so sterile or something. I thought finally, I had outgrown these games.
My freshman year in college I learned differently. I had had a boyfriend for about 6 months by then. But going to different schools made us break-up. I was still a virgin. He had spent time playing inside my shirt and even though, I let him watch me shower one time, we never did much more than that.
I was on scholarship in college and so the money my parents had saved was in a little bit of surplus. It seemed when there were things to do, I was able to participate in whatever I wanted which was nice and not everyone else's experience in school. I guess, I was lucky. Well, driving around town, I noticed a massage spa place at a beauty shop. I decided that would be great to have. I checked it out. To my surprise, when I got the massage, it was a guy who did it.
Nothing unusual happened, the guy was nice, did a good job and he was more than professional where it had that sterile feeling I mentioned before. He asked if I would like to schedule another. It was very enjoyable, so I scheduled another two weeks later after checking my calendar. That two weeks of time was the most impatient I had ever been because I had way too much time to think about what I could do. The guy had been very cute, while professional, he had a good sense of humor and had attracted my attention enough. But when I thought about teasing him, it consumed all my thoughts in my free time. My roommate would catch me "day-dreaming" and ask "what is wrong" over the two weeks several times.
My next massage was on Saturday, so on Friday, I went and bought the sheerest bikini and bra set. When I tried it on in my dorm room that night, it was like I was wearing nothing. And the bra gave no support and let my tits bounce freely when I checked myself out. I wanted to touch myself that night but I held out for some reason. See, I knew that he either had to keep me covered with a towel, or I had to be in my underwear. I was just soaking thinking about what I was going to do tomorrow.
It was do or die time. I walked into the spa for my appointment. I was wearing a short blue and white striped one-piece summer dress. With only my mint blue see-through bra and panties. I could not believe I had cut the liner out of them. I could feel they were already wet. They immediately sent me back even though I was a few minutes early. I went into the room and began getting ready by undressing to my underwear and lying down on the table and then covering myself up with the sheet provided.
I only had a few minutes for second thoughts before my masseuse walked in and said "hello again!"
We small-chatted for a bit as he set up. And finally he asked what I would like today? Little did he know!
