Nude Waitressing

All persons involved in the action are over 18, drinking age for wine and beer in western europe is 16

"Business could be better" Doug McDonnegan mumbled while checking the account ledgers.

He did this on every Monday afternoon.As the owner and manager of the "Menorca Irish Pub", a beach side pub in Menorca's Mao, he knew how much beer he had to sell to make ends meet. Especially during summer when he employed more than his standard crew.

"You shouldn't have hired all those students" his girl-friend Iris commented while applying nail-polish

"No," he replied, "we're doing all right, but it could be better - especially during the week." He paused, looked at a different spread-sheet, calculated something, the continued "No - we're 1.7% down in comparison to the increase between June and July compared with last year. Still, we're 1.2 % up compared to last month. So no real reason to worry."

"Juanita told me, their business had an increase." Iris continued doing her nails.

"Juanita, well, you have to take her numbers with a grain of salt. One does exaggerate with ones numbers." Doug remarked while writing a new order of Irish beer, which would be delivered in about a week. "We do have over 15,000 tourists in town right now. We can seat about 600."

"10 to 20 tables per waiter. I know. I'm doing that 5 to 7 days a week." Iris commented his remarks. She heard them almost every week. She expected now a remark about Juanita and wasn't disappointed.

"The club has more attractions and draws a younger crowd." he continued, while signing pay-checks. "We have attractive personnel. That's why I always hire pretty students."

"Female students who work just half time"

"And get payed less than half than you."

"But don't have to pay the rent."

"But live in one room."

***

Doug operated a small hostel close to his pub. One room with four beds he kept for his own use. Of those four bunks three were occupied by students from Germany, Sweden and Holland. All were pretty, all were blondes. They worked for two months Friday, Saturday and Sunday from 5 pm to 2 am (sometimes longer) and usually a couple of hours one day during the week. The rest of the time they spend at the beach (when not learning for university) and got that way a paid holiday.

The fourth bed was occupied by a regular waitress, who hadn't had found a flat yet, after she broke up with her friend and moved out of his flat that he now shared with his new girl-friend, a go-go dancer. Like all other waiters her work-hours were longer. Sometimes they had to work more than 12 hours a day during the week-end and two or three days the week till 2 am. But right now Frances O'Daugherty was changing in her work dress and was chatting with Jennifer Meier, the student from Germany, and Swedish Julia Svenson, who both just came from the beach, about life, men and their job.

"Well, how do you like the job sofar?" Frances asked Jenny.

"It pays well. Gives me the money for three month's rent back in Munich" she replied, "that means I can spend more money on parties and don't have to work that much. Doug is allright, he's not trying to get in my pants like the guy I worked for in Munich last year"

"No, he's busy with Iris. I work for Doug since last year. The only time he has eyes for a other women is when hiring them." Frances commented.

"But then he takes his job serious." Julia remarked. "We're a good looking team."

"Well, " Jennifer looked down her figure, "I wish I had bigger boobs, like yours, gals"

"Nonsense, all men look after you. Don't be modest, Jenny" Julia disagreed.

"You should make an experiment at the beach." Frances suggested jokingly, "Pass a group of boys topless and count the heads turning, Jenny. Jewls, you or I could be the comparison group."

"Flashing my tits? - No, I don't think so." Julia replied.

"Well, it can be fun." Jennifer replied, "Been there, done that. I took part in an art performance - nude."

"How was it?" Julia wanted to know.

"Strange, but being nude with a couple of dozends other people on a puplic place gives some assurance. I don't think I could do it alone. So it was like being at a sauna or at a nude beach."

Frances had dressed and left, Jennifer and Julia readied themselves for clubbing that evening. Lynn Korda joined them later at their room, she had spend some time at an Internet-Cafe, writing some emails to friends and her boy-friend who was right now in Australia. Before entering the Club, Lynn turned to Jennifer and Julia and reminded them, that they had to pay her cocktail, because she got the most tips on Saturday. All three were rather competitive.

***

The next afternoon, Tuesday, before the pub openend, there was the usual staff meeting, everybody working for Doug was there.

"... and next Monday Frances, Juanita, Jack, Iris and Rick. On stand-by Jewls." Doug announced the shifts for the next week. After other organisatorical matter he asked Frances about her situation.

"No, I haven't found a flat yet. I'm going to have a look at two flats on Friday morning, but I guess I won't have a new one before next week. By the way, can someone help me getting the rest of my things from the flat. When I got there today, his bimbo opened the door and neither of us was too keen on talking with each other. So I left without doing a thing."

"You said, she's a stripper?" Frank, one of the waiters, wanted to know.

"Well, she calls herself a go-go-dancer. At the Obsessio. One of the girls in the cages." Frances replied.

"So she bares it all." Jeanne, a waitress, commented. "The attraction of that club."

"Yeah, they draw quite a crowd," head-waiter Rick stated.

"Sex sells." Lynn agreed.

Doug looked up. Those few remarks started a train of thought. He looked his waitresses over. They weren't a bad looking bunch. His Iris, for example, with her 5'4", about 150 lbs, well endowed, or Maria, 5'5" and 140 lbs, B-cup breasts, or Frances, 4'11", wide hips and big breasts. Skinny Alexandra with her 5'7" and perhaps 110 lbs was also quite pretty, inspite of A-cups, Jeanne was a little bit taller and not so skinny, raven haired Jessica with her 5'6" and C-cups had quite a body, too. It showed her working out. So did that student from Holland, Lynn, 5'4", slim with D-cups. And the other two blondes, both 5'2", he hired this year, Jennifer, slim and slender, and Julia with curves were stunners. There might be a chance to employ their good looks for his benefit.

"Yes, sex sells." he repeated Lynn's words. "So why don't we do it?"

"What??" Iris asked surprised.

The others were similar surprised. That sentence came out of the blue.

Doug started explaining. "Folks, buisness under the week isn't that good. It's not bad, but it could be better. After 10 it declines, compared with the clubs. A slight incline in busisness would be very welcome."

"And what has that to do with us?" Jenny wanted to know.

"Yeah, " Jeanne continued, "Shall we serve the beer nude?"

"That would be a possibility." Doug continued, "but I just thought of showing a little bit more skin, lower neckline, shorter skirts and a bare midriff, but... if any wants to wait in the nude, you're welcome." he added with irony.

Frances, Julia and Jennifer exchanged glances.

"How's about it, Jen?" Julia joked. "Waitig nude?"

"How to recognise a German - he obeys orders and the moment the sun shines, he strips to take a sunbath. Isn't that true?" Jeanne added.

"Not alone! Only if you join, Jewls. You're Swedish!"

"Great, then we can see, who draws more attention." Frances exclaimed.

"Am I missing something?" Doug asked,"The sentence about waiting nude was irony. I know Germans don't understand that. But this is so exaggerated, that it should be clear for a German. Nicht wahr, Frank?"

"I'm Austrian, not German. Even if my name says something else." was the waiter's reply.

Frances explained "We had a discussion yesterday, what kind of breasts men do prefer."

"Oh, I see" Doug looked around. "In my case I'd say... nice ones."

A "Hm, hm" was Iris' only comment.

Lynn had heard about the exchange beween her room-mates during the clubbing and had thought about the practicabillity of the experiment. From her studies she knew, that one need hard facts that can be objectivly meassured. And so she turned to her room-mates: "Girls, I've got a idea..."

"Seriously?" Iris asked.

"Seriously. But first a question who would really dare to work outside in the nude?" Lynn continued and raised her hand.

Slowly Frances raised her hand, then Julia and Jennifer. After a while Jess' hand also rose.

"The crazy youth of today." Iris thought and shook her head.

"What the fuck's going on?" Doug thought, than looked at the clock. It was time to get ready; the pub should open in 20 minutes. "Rick, Jess, Iris, Alexandra, Frank, get ready, we open in 20 minutes and there aren't any tables set up yet."

Everybody helped removing the security locks on the chairs, seting up the sun screens, putting out the chalkboards with the menues, while Iris started the cashier-system and set up the tap. Within 15 minutes the tables were ready for customers. And within 20 minutes about a dozend tables were occupied and the first 30 beers were sold. Doug then asked Lynn, Jennifer, Frances and Julia in a small storage/office room.

***

"OK, Lynn, let's hear your suggestion." he asked her.

Frances then told about the topless-beach discussion at their room, then Lynn continued with her thoughts about the supposed experiment.

"... so we need reliabe data. And there would have to be a competition. So I suggest we're doing it as kind of vote. For each beer sold, each guy shall tell who's the most attractive waitress here. That, who gets the most votes, strips."

"But wouldn't that open the doors to manipulations? If I sell more beer than you, Lynn, I could get you out of your panties faster than you me." Frances objected.

"That's right." Doug agreed.

"Yes, but there's a simple solution." Julia stated. "We each just offer one beer."

"And we can not put ourselves to vote" Jennifer added.

"What are we playing for?" Lynn wanted to know.

Doug thought for a moment "How about first one naked works as a regular waitress for half an hour nude and get the others' tips?"

"I don't know if that's the right incentive - the part with the tips." Julia objected. "It must be a penalty for loosing."

"It's a game of chance, you can't do anything to influence the out-come." Lynn stated "Sorry to disappoint you."

"Yes, I know. But when playing roulette, you put your money on red and black comes up, you loose your money. Here you loose your clothes. Here I'm fully content not being first one naked." Julia replied.

Doug looked at them and said "Well, OK then. Looser waites nude for an hour without pay."

Nobody objected.

"And " he continued, "there will be three of you competing."

Lynn nodded "Makes sense. Then it can be a definite contest for the main question."

Doug let his eyes wander between Lynn and Frances. "Therefore I'd say number three in this group is you, Frances. You're a brunette, not a blonde. Sorry Lynn, maybe next time."

"OK, that's allright with me." Lynn replied not too disappointed. "But for the game - I think, it's best to have them vote with chips of different colors. And the players are maked with a matching scarf arround their wrists. With each beer offered..."

Doug interrupted her "Those beer are free. Otherwise it will take too long."

"With each beer given away, " Lynn continued, "the customer has to pick a colour for the girl he want to see naked."

Everybody agreed.

"So following questions are remaining." Lynn stated. "How many clothes and how many chips a piece?"

"What are you wearing?" Doug asked, "Scarf, blouse, skirt, shoes, bra and and panties?"

The girls nodded.

"Then wear it. I think, the game should run for about a hour. It takes about two minutes to get a beer, serve it and get the next one."

"Five chips per item then - that means, worst case 90 beer, best case 45."

"We happen to need a scorer." Frances said, "Lynn, after having figured the game out, you might well be doing it."

Jennifer and Julia agreed.

"That's settled. When do we start? Today?" Frances wanted to know.

"Do we have coloured chips and matching scarves for the wrists? " Lynn wanted to know.

"No, we need to buy scarves. Chips we have in red, blue, green and yellow." He paused. "There's a shop round the corner, where you can get scarfs or sweatbands."

And he thought "Great - give them no time to reconsider their decision."

"Girls, are we in a presentable state?" Julia wanted to know. "Matching lingerie, and... trimmed bushes?"

"I'd better get me other panties." Jennifer stated. "With mine I can't match your G-string."

"OK, right now it's almost 6 pm, let us start shortly after 10 pm, if Lynn's able to get the scarfs. And Lynn, dress up. And the rest, get dressed for the contest."

Franzi, who wore her auburn hair short, had one point to add "Jewls, Jenny, keep your hair on your back. Pony-tail, braid, knott or just a comb. I can not let fall my hair over my breasts before next summer."

All laughed, then they went their ways.

***

While Frances, Jennifer, Julia and Lynn were on their ways, Doug briefed the rest of the staff.

"They couldn't be that crazy." Maria wondered.

"Young North Europeans. I'm not surprised about the students, but a little bit about Frances. That her boy-friend dropped her, seems to have hurt her pride." Jack replied, "I don't mind, they got great figures."

"Do we get any trouble with the police?" Iris wondered.

"No, they're used to nude people running around here. As long as they don't sit down and drink or fuck or do do drugs, it's allright with them. Rick, Maria, we need an anouncement for the chalkboards later. Something like » Today's special: Strip-a-waitress «. But wait with writing it tdown, till they're back here. They still might withdraw."

"Should we get Jack here also?" Alexandra asked. "Just in case, if things get a little bit out of hand."

"Good idea - it could be busier than usual. And beside he's going to enjoy the view." Iris agreed.

***

Shortly after half past 9 all were there. About 150 patrons were sitting outside, drink beer, wine or soft drinks, about half of them men.

Doug had welcomed Lynn, Frances, Julia and Jennifer and led them again to the store-room/office.

"OK - Just for your information. This is how we do it: Each of you gets a tablet with a beer and a bowl with two chips. When you find someone, who will take the free beer, he has to take one chip. You return to Lynn, who is standing right next to the door, who replaces the missing colour and marks down on that tablet for whom the vote was. If someone gets five votes, she looses one piece of clothing. First our company-scarf, then the blouse, then skirt, shoes and bra. Finally the panties. In case we have a tie, the there's a tie breaker. With two of you tied, the third will go out get the decessive vote, if all three are - sudden death." He looked at them. "So who wants blue?"

Frances took the blue scarf, Lynn helped her tying it around her right wrist, Jenny had taken white and Julia red. Lynn put in the colors in the spread-sheet on the tablet, then all involved did a short check if serving beer and offering the chips from the tablet worked.

Frances looked sternly at Lynn, Julia and Jennifer "And if anyone cheats, she has to blow all co-workers."

"If Iris permits...." Doug laughed, then he looked at his watch. "Ladies, it's almost 10. Are you willing to go through with it? Otherwise I change the Today's Special to » Strip-a-waitress «."

"Let's do it." Jennifer stated.

"Yes." Julia agreed.

"OK by me." said Frances after a short pause.

Doug went outside, looked at the people sitting at his tables. "About 200 now. Let's see how many it will be in an hour."

Lynn had followed him and set up the tablet and the chips on a bistro-table next to the entrance. Doug went to one of the small chalkboards, cleaned it on the side facing the wall an wrote on it:

» Strip-a-waitress. One of these three waitresses will serve you in the nude. You decide! « After finishing he again looked at the watch, the went in to get the three contestants and a chair. Julia, Jennifer and Frances lined up next to the chalkboard.

"Stand here, and when I'll have finished changing the Today's Special, simply turn that chalkboard. Stand there for one, two minutes, then get in and get your tablets."

He stepped onto the chair swiped the board and started writing. Then he stepped down, looked at the crowed and went in. Julia had turned the chalkboard next to her. She noticed, that Doug's action hadn't been noticed by many. Just about 10, 15 people were looking in their direction and trying to figure out what was meant by those words. Then she decided, it was time toget it started. She turned around, entered and went right for the tap.

***

Iris stood at the tap; she had the three tablets and the bowls ready. She was able to read what was written on the chalkboard and when she saw, that Julia turned it around, she knew, it was to start in ernest. Soon one of those three would be serving the customers au naturel. She wondered if she would be able to pull it through. Well, one of them had been nude in public before, so for her it most probably wouldn't be a problem. Then Julia turned around and lead the others towards her. She looked at the clock on the wall - 10:04 pm and handled them their tablets, checking that the colors in the bowls were the right ones.

Julia took hers, checked that there were only a white and a blue chip in the bowl and went to the tables.

"Does anyone want a beer?" she heard Jennifer asking the next row of tables.

Julia repeated the question.

"No, the beer is free" she heard Frances explaining.

A young man waved her to him. "Is this beer also free?" he asked.

"Yes", she answered and gave him the beer. "You have to take one of those chips."

"What for?" he asked

"It's today's special." She explained. "We're doing a contest. Take a white chip, if you want to see the blonde one stripping, and the blue for the brunette."

"And for you?"

"You have to order a beer from one of the other two. My colour is red."

"I see", he said and took the blue one. "Good Luck!"

Julia headed back to Lynn, who just had Jenny given a blue chip, received one herself and headed back to Iris at the tap; a couple of seconds later Frances came in and said "white". They received their beer and went off again. The clock showed 10:07.

This time, Frances went down the rows Julia just had served. A guy downed a beer and hailed her. She didn't know it, but it was the same guy who just had been seved by Julia.

"Red! " he hailed her, and added "I like curves."

"I don't have to explain, he already had understood." Frances thought while returning to Lynn. This time she was the first back, the other two still had some explaining to do. Slowly, she went to the tap.

Lynn gave the others a red and a white chip.

"Still everything open", she thought, on her spread-sheet a "2" stood under every name.

The next round added one to Frances and two to Jenny. so Jenny removed their company-scarfs.

"So it begins - just 20 to go to show more than one should." Lynn thought, handing everyone the chips. She looked at her watch - 10:15.

Jenny walked down her row of tables. Alexandra passed her and gave an encouraging smile. A middle-aged man took her beer and wanted the blue chip. She returned and saw, that Lynn gave the others two white chips. "Great, " she thought, "I already see myself strutting down the aisle naked as a jay-bird. At least Frances also lost her scarf.