My office is filled with attractive women and my wife will tell you it doesn't bother her, but I can guarantee that it bothers her greatly. My assistant of three years recently got pregnant and put in her notice, she wouldn't be returning to work after the baby came. When I mentioned this to my wife, Kelly, she told me I should hire her Kelly, one of her friends who was recently laid off.
She arranged for Sally to come in for an interview and I wasn't surprised when I saw her. She was a forty-two year old, recently single mother of two with a more than a little extra pounds around her midsection. I could see that she had been an attractive woman, but the years hadn't been kind. Kelly thought she would be perfect -- someone to keep an eye on me that I wouldn't be the least bit interested in. I hired her on the spot.
Sally turned out to be an amazing employee, much more qualified and talented than my last assistant. Everything was going swimmingly for about six months and then it all went bad, very bad.
Sally and two other women from the office took a weekend trip to Vegas where they posed for a number of suggesting photos. The girls had emailed them around the office and I had one of the photos up on my computer. Margot, one of the other girls from the office, was standing next to Sally and another girl. She looked amazing. Thinking I was alone in the office I began masturbating while staring at her picture. She was so hot and I have had a crush on her for the past year. Just as I was about to ejaculate I heard something behind me, it was Sally standing in my doorway watching me. She immediately turned and scurried away before I could catch up to her.
On Thursday and Friday Sally called in sick. I started to worry. On Monday though she was back at work. It was awkward all day. Finally she sent me an instant message.
Sally: Sorry about missing work last week.
Me: If anyone should apologize it should be me, sorry.
Me: I am completely mortified. I am really sorry.
Sally: The hardest part for me is my relationship with Kelly.
Me: What do you mean?
Sally: It is just awkward?
Me: How so?
I was starting to get worried. This IMing was also strange. She was sitting just outside of my office, but instead of talking face to face here we were chatting on our computers.
Sally: Well... the next time I am talking to her I will feel guilty.
Me: Oh, you didn't do anything wrong, it was ALL me, sorry.
Sally: I can't help but be flattered that you think of me sexually. I have to admit it is a real turn on, but the fact that it turns me on is almost a betrayal of my friendship with Kelly. I know it is stupid, but it is true.
It was at this moment that I realized that Sally assumed I was masturbating while fantasying about her.
Sally: But you have no idea how depressed I have been. I saw a doctor just last week. It is embarrassing how important just knowing that at least one man in this world, even one married to my friend who is also my boss, is attracted to me. Thank you.
I didn't know how to respond. Did I tell her I was actually thinking of someone else? Would she tell my wife? Would she quit? Would she sue the company? I decided not to tell her.
Sally: I talked to Kelly on Friday.
Me: Oh, really? What did you say?