Once back in our hotel room, I immediately went into the bathroom. I locked the door behind me. "How could I?" I thought. "How could I have embarrassed myself, embarrassed Louie...how could I let my business associate Lamar take nude photos of me having sex...am I insane?....how could I let his wife Mindy order me around..."
"It must have been the alcohol...or maybe Lamar put something else in the Cognac...maybe an aphrodisiac...I had no control...it wasn't the date rape drug, I didn't pass out...I was out of control."
My heels, my dress, I threw them in the corner of the bathroom. After unwrapping the seal on the water glass, I filled it, and I drank a full glass. Then I drank another. I paced for a minute, and then I knelt before the toilet. "Got to do it," I thought, "do it now."
I stuck my fingers down my throat and I gagged...I stuck them down again, and again...and my vomit came, my stomach muscle reflexes threw it into the toilet...the fish, the wine, the Cognac, the bread...more to come, I stuck my fingers back down my throat until I vomited again...I had to rid my body of the poison...more fish and food...standing up, I drank another full glass of water and I paced...I then stuck my fingers back down my throat.... more vomit came...more water, more vomit...more fingers, more water and more vomiting, again and again until my vomit was clear, until I had cleansed myself of any trace of the poison.
"Sheryl," Louie asked through the bathroom door, "are you all right? Can I get something for you?"
"You can leave me alone."
"Honey, if your sick, I can ask the hotel clerk for some medicine."
"I'm not sick, I don't want to have a hangover, that's all."
I turned the shower on. I had to purify myself. Climbing in, the warm water cleansed the outside of my body, but didn't change my feeling that I was a piece of shit. I had humiliated myself, I had humiliated Louie...he now knew how I was promoted to management, why my salary was quadrupled....
My razor was on the sink, I reached out and I grabbed it. I lathered myself and I shaved a very close, rough shave...all the way from my ankles to my navel...yes, I cut myself, once, then I cut myself again, and again. Little cuts that I could hide or blame on a dull razor. Who would see the cuts? No one. It's easy to cut yourself while shaving, move the razor sideways. It's easy to scrape yourself raw, change the angle of the blade. Without at first realizing it, I was crying, as I was cutting my skin on my legs, then on my crotch, then my folds.
"Louie's going to throw me out with the trash," I thought. "No way he'll let me stay in his house or be around his sons. Lamar showed him what a slut I was...what a slut I still am...he won't want me anymore."
I shut the water off and stepped out of the shower. The towels wiped away most signs of my minor injuries. After emptying a small give away bottle of hotel bath oil on my legs, I was fine. I waited in the locked bathroom until I thought Louie was asleep. When I left the bathroom, Louie was in bed, under the covers. The air conditioning made the room quite cold. I slipped between the clean cotton sheets and faced away from him. I thought of the saliva of that bitch Mindy, her saliva, drying on Louie's penis. I thought how I had been reduced to watching another woman take his cock, another woman better me, another woman show Louie that I was a shit, just another cunt, another whore. The lights were off when he turned my way.
"Remember when we first started going out?"
I didn't respond, I had heard enough history lessons about my past.
"You were married to Don Roberts. And I was married. That was years ago. Before we dated, I did your divorce from Jim, when you were living with Mick Givens. Then you were running around with Rhonda and the gals in her escort service."
More history lessons. Next he'll bring up my training for the CIA.
"My point is," Louie said, "that there is nothing, not one thing, that Lamar can say or show me that will change the way I feel about you. Sheryl, the best part of our relationship is that we rescued each other. I'd still be fucking whores in my office, if not for you. You bring out the best in me, you have that talent, and I will keep trying ...I know I failed tonight...I'll keep trying to bring out the best in you."
"But tomorrow, I'm hiding your cell phone. I don't want you to think about Public Entities Insurance for even a second. I want us to see the Alamo, see the river walk, drink in the hotel bar. You want to see Corpus, Padre Island, Austin - we are going to make our own decisions about what we do here. Texas is big, we have time and a car, we can go in any direction."
I didn't say a thing. Instead, I went back in the bathroom. I lathered a washcloth with soap and warm water, and I brought it, with a large towel, to our bed. Reaching out, I flicked the lights back on.
"Here," I said, "lay across this towel."
Kneeling beside the bed, I washed Louie's genitals. I cleaned his cock, his balls, his pubic hair. When he rolled over, I washed his ass, I wanted every trace, every scent of that whore Mindy off of him. Taking the warm washcloth, I worked down Louie's legs, and I slowly washed his feet, massaging every toe. Then I dried his body and tossed the towel and washcloth on the floor of the hotel room. Louie was relaxed and he had a smile on his face.
"I'm sorry," I said, "forgive me."
"You don't need my forgiveness."
"Will you...spank me? Louie, you may need to discipline me. I'm worried. I was cutting myself again...like before...in the shower. Maybe if you disciplined me I wouldn't do that. My dad would spank me when I was bad...when my mom caught me giving head to a boyfriend in my bedroom, she didn't stop me, but she told my dad...I had to take my panties down and my dad spanked my bare butt in the kitchen while my mother and brother watched..."
Louie looked at me and he laughed. "You have me confused with some other husband. I'm not going to hit you." He put his arm over my shoulder and he hugged me. He pulled me onto the bed, then he slid away. "Get some sleep." He knew that I needed my space, and that the king size bed was big enough for it. He turned the lights out and we fell asleep.
Next morning I slept in, a little bit. Louie was entering me from behind, and that's not the worst way to wake up. His long penis went in and out. He would pull his penis completely out, then stick it completely in, over and over, redoing me like the first entry. It was one of his ways of keeping me tight. He was gentle and soft and reassuring. It was his delightful way of saying good morning, saying...Guttentag...saying...Bon Giorno..
"This is the way we start our day, start our day, we start our day, this is the way we start our day, so early in the morning."
