Why I Hated the Guy From the Fbi

Note: All characters and areas portrayed in this story are purely fictitious, and are a product of my imagination. Any resemblance to a person, living or dead is strictly coincidental.

34. A Funny Kind of Day

"Charlie, if I lose my grip on this ladder, we will never catch up to this boat."

"Then it is a good thing I have it anchored to the bottom of the ocean, isn't it Ann."

"God dammit, Charlie, if you did not fuck so well, I'd kill your sorry ass."

"Just remember, babe, I am keeping sea water and fish, out of an area they do not belong."

"Charlie you are going to kill me with that thing of yours."

"Would you like to rest for a while?"

"You stop what you are doing, and I will find your gun, and teach you how to dance with one less toe."

"You do realize this is very strenuous exercise for me. Holding onto a ladder with my hands; my feet pressed against the stern of the boat; my dick inside you trying to increase your pleasure, and all you are doing is complaining."

"I have you doing this, to work off those doughnuts you had at breakfast this morning. Those plus the sugarcoated cereals you eat are going to be the death of you."

"Ann, why can't you keep up with me on my five-mile run in the morning?"

"That is it, Charlie, you are dead man."

Ann pulled herself off him, and screamed, "Oh fuck, that hurt."

Charlie laughed, and started swimming away from the boat, as quickly as he could, because Ann was the better swimmer. Once she gathered her wits about her, and rose above the pain she encountered by pulling herself off of his engorged organ, she would go after him like the man-eating shark she was.

When she finished rubbing her sore pussy, she looked for him and found him 30 yards away from the boat, swimming away like a jelly fish. This was the one area she was far superior to him. She dove into the water, and ate up the distance with every stroke of her arms.

Charlie saw her coming, and decided on a tactic he had used successfully before. He submerged, did a U-turn and headed back towards the boat.

When Ann lost sight of him, she knew what he had done. However, she caught sight of something else that concerned her and she needed Charlie to look at it before it went away. She dove immediately, and saw him pass underneath her. She tapped his foot, but he did not stop, thinking it was still a game. She grabbed his ankle and jerked on it, and this time he stopped.

She pointed up.

When he surfaced he asked her what the problem was. She pointed to a black object about 2 feet above the surface moving north.

Charlie did not answer her, except to say, "We have to get back to the boat, now."

As soon as his feet hit the deck, he started the blower fans for the engines, ran for the chain to the anchor and put it on the automatic winch. Then he called the Coast Guard. "Vandenberg Coast Guard this is Point Breeze out of San Luis Obispo over."

"This is Coast Guard, what is your emergency."

"Coast Guard, Point Breeze has spotted a drug smuggling submarine snorkeling off Monte de Oro State Park northbound at approximately 6 knots. I am weighing anchor to pursue. I will keep you updated on position."

"Point Breeze, how do you know it is a drug smuggling submarine over."

"Coast Guard, my name is Charles Gomes, former FBI Special Agent Drug Task Force Brooklyn, New York. I just retired last Monday. You can check my identification with that office."

"Roger Point Breeze, take no action. We will call in help."

"Roger, Coast Guard, Point Breeze is getting underway."

Ann was in control of the boat, simply because Charlie had no idea what to do with it, except the jobs she had taught him so far. He told her where he wanted to be, and she got him there in no time at all. He was up at the bow of the boat, with the field glasses, looking for that little telltale sign that a snorkel gives off in the water. A white wake going in a direction, where one does not belong.

Within five minutes he had it in sight and had Ann move to within 100 yards, directly astern of it. Then, he had cut the power of the engines to a point where he could barely hear them.

45 minutes later, their radio crackled and it was the Coast Guard asking him for his position. He gave them his GPS coordinates, and the Coast Guard said they were 10 minutes away. Air Force helicopters were about three minutes behind them from Vandenberg Air Force Base.

The next thing Charlie heard was the loud horn of a Coast Guard Cutter, coming in from the West. Shortly afterwards, two Coast Guard helicopters arrived on the scene, from the north and four US Air Force helicopter gunships that normally guard the rocket base, from the east.

As the Coast Guard cutter closed in, they called Point Breeze.

Point Breeze, this is Coast Guard cutter Morgenthau. We have the object in sight. We would like you to back off and head back home. There will be a greeting party there to debrief you, and thank you for your help. Your names will not appear for your safety, but you are up for a reward.

Coast Guard, this is Point Breeze backing off, with pleasure.

Without firing a warning shot, the Air Force gunships opened up with their 50 caliber machine guns directly down at the submerged subs snorkel and hull. The sub never knew what hit it. They immediately started taking on water. It blew its ballast tanks and surfaced, as quickly as it could. When the eight-man crew surfaced, and saw its greeting party they were stunned. They could not figure out how they could be detected, going so slow, with so low a visible profile.

No one bothered to tell them, either.

However, Ann and Charlie were civilians, and according to law, they were entitled to a finders' fee. Charlie called James Hearst and told him what had happened.

Jim laughed. "Do you mean I have to go back into the Brooklyn Federal Building and tell them, they have to give you and Ann $30 million? Maybe I should just go into Manhattan, and do it there. I have not upset those people this week."

"No, Jim, I want you to do it in Brooklyn, if that is okay with you. Then I want you to place half of it in my name and half of it, in Ann's name... "Ouch, what did I do wrong, now?"

Ann said, "We will open a joint account, and have him put all the money in it, dummy."

Charlie said, "Jim did you know, she hits hard?"

"Charlie, I have never had the pleasure. However, by the volume of your 'ouch', I will take your word for it."

"Where was I before I was beaten up by my future bride? I have very close friends that I left at the agency. They were all passed over for promotion, because of the dunce that maligned them, when he wrote their proficiency reports. I would like you to spread $1 million between them. Let them argue over the last penny. However, tell them I know who will get it."

"Charlie, you are a man after my own heart. Give me their names and I am going to take a personal interest in those men, and their careers from this point on. I will make sure they move up the ladder of success, the way they deserve. I will also make sure they know they have you to thank."

"Thank you, Jim. I appreciate anything that you can do for them. They are all stand up guys. They put their lives on the line every day and they never take a dime out of the till. Now if you will excuse me I have to go abuse a woman, who was taken too many liberties with my head."

As Jim was about to turn off the speakerphone, he heard a woman laugh and scream, "Charlie, don't you dare."

He laughed. "There are some really good people in this world, and sometimes I get a chance to meet them."

The men watching the two Dons, in Brooklyn, were becoming bored to tears. DiAngiolla, and Caruso were acting like angels and everything they did was out in public. When they were in their homes, their drapes were open. When it was cool outside their windows were even open. This was unlike anything they had ever seen. You did not need a bug in the house to listen to their conversations; you could stand on the sidewalk and listen. Don DiAngiolla would go to his favorite restaurants and then to visit his stockbroker and sit with the other old men, and watch the stock markets ever plummeting, and rising green line. On some days he was happy, on others, he was sad. He looked like any other retired elderly gentleman watching his money, increase and decrease in value as the days went on. For nearly 2 months, nothing suspicious happen. Thanksgiving was fast approaching, and everybody had a feeling of dread. They felt that as soon as they let their guard down a big shipment would slip by them and their bosses would scream, because they had lost their edge. You had to lose your edge, when you sat in the same spot, day after day, week after week, for two months and nothing happened. Then some genius down at the office said, "It has got to be coming in in the turkeys."

In New York City alone, there were going to be 5 million turkeys. That did not include the Bronx, Queens, Brooklyn or Staten Island. How in the world did he expect them to inspect all those turkeys? It was one of the dumbest ideas any of the agents had ever heard, and one of the senior agents stood up to his boss and told him so. He was put on an unpaid leave of absence instantly. The 50 men in the room said the same thing and offered to go on unpaid leave with him.

The offer was not accepted. The men in the room told the senior field agent, they would not do it.

The senior field agent had a mutiny of gigantic proportions on his hand, so he called in the assistant director for the Northeast region, and asked him to come into the briefing room and speak to these men.

When the director got into the room, he asked what the problem was, and the senior field agent told the director that these men had disobeyed a direct order and should be disciplined immediately. The director asked what the order was that they would not follow.

"The senior field agent said that he wanted every Turkey entering into the five boroughs of New York, inspected for cocaine and other drugs prior to Thanksgiving."

The director looked at the senior field agent and said, "You are relieved of duty pending a psychiatric evaluation. You are out of your fucking mind. Will two men escort him to Bellevue, now, please? He seems to be cracking up under the pressure of this office."

"Now, will somebody bring me up to speed on what is going on, in Brooklyn?"

After a 30 minute brief, the director said, "Let me see if I have this straight. Since the drugs hit the streets, our two dons have become choirboys, and their hands are as clean as the snow we missed. We cannot track anything to them at all. DiAngiolla is staying here through the winter, with Caruso's grandbaby. Caruso is going to his daughter's wedding in Milan, with Vincent and his wife Donna. The two kids are enrolled in school, for the next semester. The four of them are leaving right after Thanksgiving together. They are returning together a week after the wedding. We have our eyes on them all the way to departure, at the airport. We will have our eyes on them getting off the plane, as soon as they arrive, with the help of the Italian police and DEA. They will be watched the entire time they are in Milan. There has been no family activity over there to make anybody suspicious that something is going on. Is that about it?"

"Director, the only thing that has gone on, in Milan, recently has been Don Castronova has been moved from the hospital in Milan to a hospital in Bern, Switzerland and is awaiting a heart transplant. We have seen all his records, spoken to all the doctors and nurses who have attended him. At this moment, it has been 7 weeks since his last heart attack, and the doctors gave him, at the outside, 8 to 10 weeks to find a donor, before he passes away. The family has sent out lawyers and letters to every organization around the world, begging and pleading for a heart for the Don. So far no one has come up with a match. This is a real situation, and the eldest son is running things, at this moment. Their business is completely shut down, and their whole focus is on the Don himself."

The director joked, "Their business has shut down, because of the Don being ill. If we could convince Don DiAngiolla to get sick, maybe his business will shut down."

The men in the room laughed, with the director, but everyone knew it would not be the case. They knew that Tony Caruso would step right in, and take Don DiAngiolla's place.

The director asked, "How many men do we have covering the two Dons, and their operations?"

"We have a total of 70 men and women doing surveillance, 24/7 sir."

"Someone write this down. Cut back to 16 hours a day. No surveillance between 6 AM and 2 PM. Minimize surveillance during the two other eight hour shifts. When Caruso goes on vacation, half of you go on paid leave for one week. When you come back, the other half goes. When Caruso gets back, things return to normal. Happy Thanksgiving, ladies and gentlemen, and enjoy your downtime."

The roar in the room was deafening. They had finally met someone who understood what went on in the trenches and not a bureaucrat that lived in an ivory tower surrounded by yes men and lived on grants and White Papers.

Now the infighting began. Who would work what shift, but more importantly, who would go on vacation first. Since this was a gift from the Assistant Director, it was decided that everyone would throw there ID number into a hat, and a secretaries would pull 35 numbers out and call them off, one at a time. A coin would be tossed; if it was heads, the people who were picked would go on vacation first. Tails would mean they would go on vacation last. It also meant that the people who are going on vacation first worked the late shift. The people who were going on vacation last, worked the early shift. Only people who work for the federal government could come up with such a convoluted system, and think it was fair. Both parties felt it was better than 12 hour shifts, and no vacation in between.

Philip and Gloria Gennaro were also getting ready for the wedding of their son. They had driven to Milan to be fitted for her gown and his tuxedo. Antonia had insisted that her aunt's make Gloria's gown for her, and she did not resist, too strenuously. As for the tuxedos, they were another matter. Philip was in charge of those. Fitting Frank for a tuxedo was like trying to tell a guerrilla to stand still. It was nearly impossible. His shoulders were too wide, his arms too long, his biceps and triceps bulged like bowling balls and his waist, tapered to 36 inches. They had no idea what to do with his slacks. His calves were like steel beams and his thighs like tree trunks. They figured out a way to deal with these issues, but then there was the problem of his massive dick. They had no idea how to fit that monster down either side of a pant leg, without it showing grotesquely.

Philip laughed and said to Frank, "Maybe you should put it into a sling, and tie it off to the side."

Frank replied, "Very funny, Philip, I will put your head in a sling, so Celeste can carry it on a plate."

However, the tailors were not laughing. They were talking excitedly among themselves, about the best options to do this improvisation. They came up with a plan that was both ingenious and devious at the same time. They took Frank into the fitting room and talked to him about it. He laughed, but he agreed to the plan, but said to them, "No one else is to know how it works, no one!"

The plan was agreed upon, and not one word was said afterwards. The tailors still had a great deal of work to do, getting Frank properly fitted into a tuxedo. The man's physique was a marvel, but fitting him for custom clothing was a nightmare.

Fitting Phil Gennaro took all of 40 minutes. The tailors thanked the good Lord, that at least one member of the Gennaro family had normal genes and was not built like a Mack truck.

Celeste and Antonia escorted Gloria to the dress shop run by the aunts. It seemed to both young women that when a new person was introduced into the fold, they were greeted like long-lost family. Gloria was fawned over by everyone in the store. She was asked where her ancestors were from; what her maternal grandmother's name was; had she been to the city of her grandmother's birth, and hundreds of other questions, before they even asked why she was there.

When her great aunt was told that she needed a gown for the wedding of her son to Antonia, she sat down as if she were shot. "Why did you wait so long? We do not have a lot of time. We will have to work night and day to get it done for the mother of the groom. Ladies call everyone; we will need every hand, so we can get to get Gloria's dress done on time."

Gloria felt terrible. "Please, do not do this for me. I will go into town and buy a gown from one of the stores. I should not have been so thoughtless, and it is my own fault. I was setting up my home and I totally forgot about buying a gown for the wedding. I do not wish to put any pressure on you, because of my oversight. I appreciate your willingness to do this for me, but it is not right."

Antonia's great aunt stood up and grabbed Gloria by the shoulders. She said to her, "That was very nice of you to say. Now, go in the back room and strip. We have measurements to take and I have to find a gown suitable for the mother of the groom."

"But..."

"Ladies, please help her follow my directions."

Gloria was taken by the hand and pulled towards the back room, totally confused by what was going on. She told them one thing, and they were doing the exact opposite. Were they all like Antonia? Was this a family trait? Her son was definitely in trouble if it was, as she tugged behind the curtains.

Celeste and Antonia sat down and waited for Gloria to be measured, and return to look at the books for gown she liked. Celeste started in on Antonia, exactly where she left off. She was leafing through a magazine when she said "How is high school going dwarf?"

"Do not start with me, Celeste. I will pinch your tits until you scream."

"If I stand up, you cannot reach them, shorty."

"Standup Celeste, and spread your legs, I am going to bite your clit and make you cum."

"I cannot let you do that anymore midget, I promised Philip, that it was his and his alone."

So this is a one-on-one relationship?"

"Yes, the box is close to everyone else."

"So when are you two getting married?"

"July

"You are so easy Celeste."

Celeste screamed, "You little witch." She stood up and started running after Antonia, who was laughing joyously.

"When I catch you, you are not going to have a hair remaining on your head."

Antonia ran out of the front door, followed closely by Celeste. She yelled over her shoulder, "Catch me, how can you find anyone as small as me?"

"Do not worry, you little midget. For every 10 steps you take, I only have to take one. You will be out of breath before you reach the corner."

Antonia reached the corner and turned to the right and was out of sight before Celeste made the turn.

She yelled, "You can run you little mutt, but you cannot hide from me forever."

Then Celeste yelled, "Ouch. God dammit, you sneaky little bitch."

She turned and saw Celeste standing behind her with a big smile on her face, and her arms outstretched waiting for a hug.

They hugged and walked back to the shop, with Celeste telling Antonia about the lovemaking she had with Philip, the night they left each other at the restaurant.

Antonia told her that Frank introduced her to some new positions also, that evening, which were quite different than anything she had tried before. She was now studying some advanced techniques, in the library. As they sat back down in the shop, Celeste said, "I should kill you, you little gnome. Philip and I were not going to tell anyone, until after your wedding."