NICKI SPEAKS
Another night plagued by memories of hell is at least finally at its end, and once again I am aware of the bitter irony of my true love sleeping peacefully beside me while I lie awake and remember the horrors of the past. Jen and Billy and Connie – how I love them all! – but they are forever aware of Suzanne's fragile state as her waking hours are plagued by consternation of the terrible injustices we all endured together. Due to my brave face and resilient appearance, they all think I have overcome the memories as well as the three of them have. Little do they know how very often sleep eludes me while night time is the one and only time Suzanne seems to be free of her angst.
Jen and Connie, at least, think I am as one with them. Fully recovered from our past. Billy, bless his heart, he knows otherwise, as I am not nearly as comfortable in his presence as Jen and Connie are. But even he clearly believes Suzanne is the only truly wounded soul still among us, for he has no inkling how challenging it is for me to let my guard down in his presence. Much as I enjoy his caresses in the shower and in the waves, though, I am but a better actress than my sweetheart is, nothing more.
In any case, though, the sun is once again brilliant over the ocean – our ocean. Once again I stand naked in the window and bask in my freedom – both literal and metaphorical – and enjoy the sunrise and wonder.
How I wonder!
Halfway to paradise already, the Lady in Green says, and I wonder when will she allow us passage over the ocean to our sweet reward? She visited us yet again yesterday, offering only the most encouraging of platitudes just as she has done upon every visit since she brought us here, yet not a word on just when she will lead the way across our ocean to the promised paradise where Suzanne and I shall once and for all be free of the horrors of our past. How sweet that day shall be - and yet once again she offered no clue as to when it would arrive. "You are improving all the time," she says to us, again and again, but that is all.
And yet I know we have improved, and will continue to. For all my fears and memories of the past, the five of us have made a pleasant life of it here on the edge of the world. I can but hope it continues, however long it might take.
Nicki stood unabashedly nude in her bedroom window overlooking the beach, the new sun warm on her dark skin, and gazed off at the horizon over the ocean. A few early-morning revelers were already down on the beach, and Nicki caught at least one eye and received a friendly wave. Nicki smiled and returned the greeting. Her breasts and pubes on full display in the window, she was neither embarrassed nor frightened given the safe distance. Such were the lingering effects of the horrors she and her friends had endured that nudity felt only natural and enjoyable to them now. Even Suzanne, whose spirit was still the most clearly wounded, had come to enjoy the unique camaraderie the both of them shared with their three friends and fellow escapees from the horrors of the bad old world.
Nicki could feel the day coming when she would be in that company, as Jen and Connie and Billy all were. She had even ventured to the beach with them a few times now to frolic naked in the surf, a line Suzanne was not yet ready to cross. Nicki found herself on that line, and thus perfectly happy to put her body on full display in the window...but not quite over the line yet.
Or perhaps, she mused, she simply wanted to wait until Suzanne was ready to cross over with her. Nicki's bond with Suzanne was profound and strong, and it went far beyond just being lovers as far as Nicki was concerned. All had suffered during what they now called "the nightmare," true, but Nicki and Suzanne had suffered more. That was why they had been drawn to one another in those few days after the escape: no one else, not even the other women and certainly not the men, would ever appreciate what they had been through. Only Suzanne could look Nicki in the eye and understand.
Though neither had been consciously attracted to other women before the disaster that had befallen them all, naturally they had fallen in love. Nicki now suspected that her attraction to other women had been there all along, and that she had simply repressed it back in the bad old days. It occurred to her only in retrospect that men had never felt like quite the right fit for her, and Suzanne had mentioned that as well from time to time. Indeed from their very first encounter, just after the escape when they hadn't yet met the Lady in Green or come to the edge of the world, it had felt only natural for her to love another woman. Suzanne had made her feel things she had never felt with a man even before the disaster, and things she was quite sure she would never again feel with a man after what the men had put her through during the nightmare.
As if aware that Nicki was thinking so intensely of her, Suzanne – taller and thinner, a brunette like Nicki – stirred for the first time in the queen sized bed. Her hair, long and dark like Nicki's but straight in contrast to Nicki's gentle curls, spread beautifully around Suzanne's peaceful face as she came slowly to life. Nicki turned her attention back to the bed with a smile and took a sip of water from her bedside table while she waited for her love to awaken. Growing a bit impatient, but not wishing to disturb Suzanne in her last moments of being unencumbered by demons of the past, Nicki stretched out her arms and arched her back so that her D-cup breasts stood proudly out despite being unsupported, as they often were these days. Her large, full bush was also very much on display, and she hoped that would be the first thing Suzanne would focus on upon opening her eyes. She knew it would be a comforting welcome into another day of their love, a reminder that she was safe in the feminine sanctum of their bedroom. Nicki's bush was, after all, what had attracted Suzanne to her in the first place, as Suzanne was the only one of their fellow prisoners who had rivaled Nicki in that particular endowment. Forced nudity had been common during the nightmare, and the two had come to identify with one another over their unusual and much-scorned characteristic. Now their mutual hairy pussies were something of a trademark of their intense bond. Jen, Connie and Billy sometimes teased them gently about them, but all three admired Suzanne and Niki's natural beauty and demonstrated as much regularly in the common rooms of their home.
"Mmmmm...nice view," Suzanne said, sitting up and brushing her hair out of her eyes.