The Woman on the Lae

She could hear someone calling her in her dreams. Leda. Come out. Leda. Leda.

When she opened her eyes, she realized hadn't dreamt it.

She lifted her head and felt it bang against the door of the cellar. The flash of pain consumed her for a moment, but then she remembered where she was, and who she was with, and she was consumed with very different thoughts.

Sunshine flooded in through the uncovered cracks in her cellar. The day had started, she couldn't stay still for another second. She lifted her head again slowly, and then she felt the man's arms wrap around her, keeping her still.

"Shhh..." he growled, still half asleep. "Do you want to be found?"

Rob pulled her head down against his chest again, and touched her hair absent-mindedly.

"Go back to sleep."

"I'm worried about my animals," Leda said. "They need to eat."

She heard her name being called again. It was coming from a ways away, but she knew it was Brandon's. He probably thought she was kidnapped, or dead.

"I have to go," she whispered. "You stay."

He took her hand. "You don't know if it's safe yet."

"I do," she whispered. "Wait here."

She took her hand back and lifted the lid of her cellar, closed it behind her quickly. When she moved a few more branches over the top of it, she was pleased at how easy it blended into the forest floor, even in daylight.

She walked out into the forest towards her cottage. Now that it was light out, she could see where the rain had washed out their footprints. The wind had blown more leaves over the cellar and a few called branches had helped to keep her little cellar totally hidden. She had been lucky this time, but it might not happen again.

She started to run through the woods. She never left markings in the woods, it was too dangerous, but she knew how to get to the lake, and then she'd simply follow the shore to her cottage. As she approached the water, she heard the sounds of a horse, and she knew he'd found her first.

Brandon was riding her youngest horse, an unbroken stallion she's been calling "Beast" for his tendency to kick off any rider who attempted to get on his back. But somehow Brandon had tamed her Beast, and rode him confidently without a saddle. His rangers' uniform was in tatters, but his icy blue eyes were focused on her.

He dismounted and enveloped her in his arms. He held her against him tightly. Then he took her cold cheeks in his hands, tilting her face so she was looking up at him. He was dirty and pale. He had a cut on his forehead, and what looked like dried blood above one of his ears, but Leda still felt her stomach tighten as he looked at her. His intensity excited her, more than his disturbing good looks. Leda felt her heart point as he took in her eyes, her lips her skin, looking for any part of her that might be hurt, taking in every part of her face, as though he never expected to see it again. Leda opened her mouth to say something, but as soon has her lips moved, he leaned down to kiss her.

Leda let herself fall into his kiss. Nothing had ever felt as right as his lips on hers. Why had she sent him away to the barn? Why wasn't he here for her when Alec attacked her? What had he been doing while a knife was at her throat? Why wasn't he there? Why had he forced her to ally herself with the prisoner he was hunting in order to survive? She thought about everything that had happened to her since he left her, and she felt tears forming in her eyes. But instead of letting herself cry, she moved her lips against his, as if all the answers she needed were inside him, and all she needed to do was give herself to him to finally feel safe.

Locked in his kiss, she felt her feet sweep up from under her as Brandon lifted her up to his chest. Their lips separated as he propped her up on the horse.

"Beast doesn't like to be ridden," Leda said dully, she knew she sounded stupid, but she couldn't stop herself. Brandon pulled himself up behind her effortlessly.

"He changed his mind. He must have been as worried about you as I was." He wrapped his arms around her as Beast broke out into a canter.

"What happened to Alec?" Leda asked.

"He has a head start," Brandon said. "It won't help him much."

"How did you know about him?"

"After we killed the escaped man, I returned here. You and Alec were gone, but there was no signs of a struggle anywhere, so I tracked you both. Alec was easier to find than you, and when he said that a man took you from the cottage, I knew he was lying."

"So what did you do?"

"I had to be sure, so I lied too. I told him you were with me already. Then he panicked. started on about how untrustworthy you were, what a whore, how you'd asked for it. That told me enough. I told him to go back to base on foot."

"You let him go."

"Because I hadn't found you yet," he said simply. "And I want to kill him slowly."

A shiver ran down Leda's back.

"Please don't kill him."

"Did he try to rape you?"

"Yes but, please, send him to the mines," Leda took Brandon's hand in hers. "Please, I don't want you to kill him. He's so young."

"That's harder," Brandon said. "If I'm taking a live hostage to the mines that will keep me away from you for days."

"I know," Leda said. "And I want him far away from me, far away from all women, but I can't stand the thought of you killing him."

"I kill men often," he said. "Can you stand the thought of that?

Leda was quiet.

"Is that why you don't want children with me?"

She said nothing, and they rode silently to the barn. When they got there, Brandon hoped off beast and put his hands out to lift her as she dismounted. He had done this many times in the past, but Leda had never let him help her, choosing to prove her independence by nearly falling off the back of every horse she'd ever ridden. This time she let him. It was a nice feeling, to be supported, instead of teetering precariously off the beast's back.

When she was back on solid ground, Brandon pushed her hair away from her face. It was only then that Leda realized she was covered in dirt, and wearing nothing but her filthy shift.

"You're afraid of me, aren't you?"

Leda choose her words carefully. "I'm grateful that you've used your power to help me, Brandon, but I'm not naive as to how you got that power."

Brandon pushed his hair back from his forehead, a gesture of frustration Leda knew well. In the rain, his thick auburn hair had begun to curl.

"I'm sorry I'm a killer, Leda, but I didn't get much of a choice," he said. "I can't change what I've done, but I'm not heartless. When you were gone last night, I was scared for you. More scared than I've ever been for myself. I will never let that happen again. Whether you want me or not, I'll always want to protect you."

His voice was low, and Leda could hear the stain behind it. She looked up at him and thought of how quickly she had left her hiding place as soon as she heard his voice. In spite of everything that had happened, she hadn't thought twice about going to him.

"I can't," she said softly. "After what happened... after Gerald. I can't belong to a man again. Especially not you."

"Why not me?"

"Because you have the power to hurt me more than anyone."

"Because you care for me?"

"I don't know," she said.

Brandon brought his thumbs to her face and wiped away the tears that had started to stream down Leda's eyes.

"I care about you, Leda," he said.

"Then why do you only want me now that you know I can have children?"

"Because I didn't know how much I wanted you until it occurred to me I could have you."

"You could have always had me, just as a woman, not a mate."

"I didn't want you think think.." Brandon trailed off. "I don't know anything about women, Leda."

"That's not what I've heard." Leda tried to smile, and Brandon ran his fingers over her lips.

"Honest Leda, you're the first woman I've really every known. I had a mother, once, then I had nothing in my life but men and training. Then I spent a few coin on a mate who I've barely even spoken to. I don't know her, but I know you, and I like you Leda."

"I know Katherine," Leda said, trying to talk about something that wouldn't make her cry. "I like her. She's clever and funny."

"I don't feel the same way about her as I do about you."

"Aren't you worried about having children with two women? Other men won't like that."

"I don't care. I just want you. And if they come for us, I'll kill them. I'll kill anyone who wants to hurt you."

"It's not just that. Brandon, I want to be my own person," Leda said. "I want my life to change, but not all of it. I want to be able to keep trading, and travel to Cliffhouse if I need to. I don't want to be more even more isolated than I am."

"We'll work something out,"

"And I don't want a child with you until I know what kind of man you are."

"I'm a good man," Brandon said. "I promise. Out on patrol, I do what I have to. But with you, I swear, I will always be good."

He kissed her then, and Leda began weeping again as she melted into him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, touching his hair, his face, every part she could while the tears streamed down her cheeks and her lips pressed against his. He held her tightly, moving his lips to her cheeks, kissing away the streams of tears. He pressed his face against hers, as though he was trying to remember every part of it. His cheeks were rough, but when he kissed her again, Leda was taken by the softness of his lips. His touch brought back that sense of physical longing in her. She wanted to become one with him. She wanted him inside her.

But she couldn't have it, and he seemed to sense that. As he kissed her more, his hands roamed to her body, touching the curves of her breasts and hips, then moving to her skirts, pushing them aside to touch her between the thighs.

Leda's heart leapt in fear at the thought of this. She remembered how Gerald used to touch her there, examining her for his own use, and she tried to move his hand away.

"Let me," he breathed. "If you don't like it after five seconds, I'll never touch you there again."

She nodded her consent. He moved his hand between his legs and moved the other under her shift to touch her breasts. When his hands reached her folds, she was already wet with arousal. His fingers only dipped inside her for a second, coating his fingers in her dew before he moved up closer to her mound and began to make small circles around one part of her. Leda gasped as he played with her, and moaned quietly when his other hand began to play with her nipple.

"Would you like me to stop?" he whispered in her ear. Leda could only shake her head.

He picked her up in his arms and laid her down in the hay. He kissed her, sucking on her bottom lip before moving his mouth to her breast. He flicked his tongue around her nipple and pressed his fingers on her cunt again. This time when she gasped, she arched her back up against him.

"It's too much," Leda said. "I don't, I can't..."

"You can't what?"

"I can't have a baby right now,"

Brandon kissed her lips lightly.

"You can't make a baby just from coming,"

"I thought that was the whole point."

Brandon let out a small laugh under his breath.

"I guess Gerald didn't tell you anything about women's pleasure," he said. "God, he must have been an ass."

The heat drained out of Leda's body. She moved her face away from his.

"Please don't talk about Gerald."

Brandon tried to look into her eyes, but she avoided his gaze. It took him a moment to grasp what he had done to upset her, but when he did, the weight of it took him by surprise.

Brandon rarely regretted anything he said or did, but for a moment, he let himself feel something like shame. Then he tried again to meet Leda's eyes, to hold her closer, to touch her in a way that might comfort her even a little.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "You have to know I would never hurt you like he did."

He kissed her forehead gently. She wanted to tell him that she knew. She believed him. He wouldn't hurt her not because she was special to him but because he wasn't a cruel man.

But he was a cruel man. Or at least, he was a violent one. What she had told the man in the forest last night had been true. In the Outerlands, everything was built to support violence. That's why there were no towns. No families. Why women couldn't live alone without protection from someone. Because men like Brandon and Gerald spent their lives fighting for resources and punishing their enemies. If she really trusted that Brandon was good, she would tell him now about the man in the cellar. She would tell him that her cellar existed. That she had built a hole in the ground in case she ever needed to hide from him. But instead she stood up and smoothed her skirt.

"Leda, I'm sorry,"

Brandon lay on the hey, as disheveled as she had ever seen him with an open jacket and shirt. She could see the well-defined muscles running down his torso, past the red-brown hair which drew a path from his navel to his trousers. He was obviously strong, but he was leaner then other men, with hard, wiry edges. She didn't know why he frightened her more than the bigger man from the prison camps, but he did.

"I didn't feed the animals this morning," Leda said dully. "I'm not even dressed."

"What do I need to prove to you before you'll be mine?" he asked.

"You don't need to prove anything," Leda said. "I just need to work. This place requires so much work, Brandon. And I'm here on my own most days."

Brandon buttoned up his shirt and fixed his coat.

"Let me borrow the young horse for a few days," he said. "I'll leave Horace here with you so you know I'll be coming back. He could use the rest."

"Alright," Leda said. "Can I ask why you're going suddenly?"

"I'm going to find Alec and I'm going to bring him to the mines, just as you want," he said. "So you know that I'll do things for you that are against sense."

"It's not against sense," Leda said but Brandon only smiled at that.

"Alright, against my nature then," he came up to her and kissed her on the head. "And so is being away from a woman I badly want to fuck. But I think it's worth it."

Leda didn't know what to say, so she said what was in her heart.

"I feel frightened, around you."

"I know," he said. "I've complicated your life."

"Why do you make me feel this way?"

Brandon looked at her with his piecing blue eyes and Leda felt herself longing for him, even as he stood footsteps away from her.

"Because you do care about me. And you want me."