Eldon Parkhurst stood in front of the full-length mirror on his bedroom door, examining the outfit he'd chosen to wear on his first date since the death of his wife. He thought he looked pretty good in the charcoal pinstripe suit, pink Oxford cloth shirt, and pink and gray rep stripe tie. He'd bought the suit several years earlier, hadn't worn it in ages, and was pleased it still fit.
Selecting the right outfit took Eldon quite a while. Adding to that the time it had taken to shower and dress, and he used up most of the afternoon. Before he knew it, it was time for him to leave to meet his date. He took his tan trench coat out of the closet and slipped it on.
Eldon drove toward his date's home, more nervous than he had been in years. What would tonight be like? He was out of touch with the modern dating scene. He knew he was driving very slowly, mainly because part of him wanted to go on this date, and part of him didn't because he was afraid he'd do something wrong.
His date was Joan Dean, one of his colleagues on the faculty of the local high school. Joan taught secretarial courses and Eldon taught history. They'd been close friends for years and, during a time Joan was going through the marital difficulties which eventually led to her divorce, they had a brief, but very intense affair. Eldon's late wife never knew about the affair.
In the years after his wife's death, Eldon had thought about asking Joan out on more than one occasion, but he had put off doing it until recently. Now, as he neared her house, he wondered what it would be like to go out with her now that his wife was no longer in the picture.
He arrived at the house where Joan lived, parked in the driveway, got out of his car, and walked up onto the back porch.
His colleague opened the door when he came up on the porch and smiled at him. "Hi, Eldon," she said softly.
"Hi, Joan," Eldon replied. He knew his throat felt tight and wondered if his voice sounded as funny to her as it did to him.
Joan had an attractive, fascinating face and captivating smile. Her dark hair was done up in a simple, but pretty, style. She had Native American ancestors and inherited a dark skin coloration from them which gave her what looked like a year-round tan.
This evening she had on a gray man-tailored blouse and white cardigan vest with gray highlights that matched her shirt. Her well-formed lower half, the part that attracted Eldon to her in the first place, was clad in loose pleated pants the same color as her blouse. Her generous breasts pressed the shirt out.
As Eldon looked at Joan, he felt warmth rising inside him. She still had that effect on him! Of course, the fact that he hadn't had sex since his wife died might have had something to do with how he was responding to her, too, but...
"I didn't know you were going to dress up," Joan said and blushed. "Maybe I should change."
Eldon shook his head. "You...you look lovely," he told her.
His date gave him a shy, embarrassed look and backed up so he could enter her house. "I...I was glad when you called," she said. "I've been thinking about you a lot. I...I guess I should have invited you over for dinner or something."
"It was up to me. I finally came to the conclusion I had to do something," Eldon explained. "I realized I needed to start getting on with my life."
"I'll get my coat," Joan said. She disappeared down the hallway, then reappeared wearing an attractive gray herringbone tweed pant coat. "Where are we going?"
"The Townline Restaurant," Eldon said. "Unless there's somewhere else you'd rather to go."
"I love the Townline," Joan told him. "I can't afford to go there that often, but I have gone a few times and it was always excellent."
They walked outside, Eldon held the door so Joan could slip into his car, then he got in behind the wheel, started the engine, and pulled away from the curb.
"How are you doing, really?" she asked once they were rolling down the highway.
"I guess I'm doing all right," Eldon replied. "I just try to take things one day at a time."
"I...I didn't know what to do when I heard about Jean," Joan said. "I wanted to call, but..."
"I put you in a tough position," Eldon said. "I'm sorry for that."
"You didn't make me do anything I didn't want to do," Joan said. She laid her hand on his arm. "What we had was special and remains very important to me. I'm not sure I could have made it through my divorce without you."
Eldon wasn't sure how to respond. Their relationship had been special to him, too. The thing was, when his wife took ill, he went through a period of tremendous guilt over what he and Joan and had done. Jean never knew about them, he was sure of that, but the fact he'd cheated on his wife continued to bother him for a long time, even after her death.
"You look sad," Joan commented, bringing him back to the present.
"Just thinking about things," he said.
"Did...did Jean know ever...know?" Joan asked, "About us, I mean?"
Eldon shook his head. "No," he said. "I'm sure she never did."
"I'm glad," Joan said. "I'd hate to think she..." She stopped abruptly and stared straight ahead.
Eldon sensed her discomfort and realized she might be thinking that talking about his late wife might be upsetting to him. "It's all right to talk about it," he told her. "Jean died. It's a fact of life I've had to get used to and learn to accept these last four years. We...we had a wonderful life together. I miss her terribly, and I'd have given anything if it had been me who had to suffer, but that wasn't the way it was."
"You did love her very much, didn't you?" Joan asked softly.
Eldon nodded. "Yes, I did," he said. "In spite of the fact that I did things that might make some people question how much I loved her."
"You know..." Joan said, "all the times we were together, I knew that. It's funny. I sometimes feel guilty about what we did, but I'm not sorry we did it."
"I'm not sorry, either," Eldon admitted. "There was a time I'd have said it was impossible to love someone and sleep with someone else, but I think that's a fallacy. I loved Jean, but what you and I had was something apart from that." He glanced over at her and smiled. "Something very special."
"So what have you been doing with yourself?" Joan asked.
Her hand remained on his arm, and Eldon liked having it there. It had been too long since he'd felt a woman's touch. "Not much," he told her. "Mostly moping around the house and feeling sorry for myself when I'm not in school."
