WARNING TO READERS - This is a long, rambling, multi-part story and VERY British. The individual chapters will make more sense if read in sequence.
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Chapter 33: Getting Rat-Arsed
The remaining days of that last week of April were wet and miserable with some of the worst thunder storms that the Southern Counties had experienced for several years. There was localised flooding all over England and we even had to close the garden centre early on Thursday as the car park was awash and we had only seen a handful of customers all afternoon.
Maggie and I spent all of Thursday morning in the office and studio, I needed to do some quotes and invoices for Emma to type up, then put some ideas together for Caroline's roof garden and she was working on the landscaping designs for The Old Rectory Restaurant. In truth I spent a good part of the morning just watching her work; she had already drawn up the rough plans for the designs and pinned the photographs that she had taken of the site on the big cork board which covered virtually all of one wall and was doing a first artist's impression sketch to get perspective on the end vision of the project.
It reminded me that I needed to call Becca Hill and arrange to take her up to London to see the roof garden job as Caroline had asked for another set of watercolours for that project as well; there was also another idea that was starting to form in my head which I needed Becca's help with. There was no hurry as I was seeing her son Josh on Sunday, I decided to send a message back with him.
I had poured us both a cup of coffee and came though from the office to tell Maggie it was ready. We had a strict rule about not bringing hot drinks into the studio... fortunately I hadn't been the one who had spilled coffee on the plan table, but it would have been only a matter of time before I did and so I was happy to comply with the rule.
"Coffee is ready when you are," I told her. I was peering over her shoulder as her pencil stokes created a perfect, recognisable image of a bed of rose bushes. I had never had the slightest bit of talent for any of the creative arts and was always fascinated by the miracles that Maggie and Becca could work with their charcoals, pencils and watercolours.
Maggie was sitting on her tall revolving stool and was wearing a loose, faded blue denim shirt over stretch blue jeans, which were pulled very tight over her round buttocks as she leaned forward above her swivel topped drawing board. I was standing directly behind her with her honey-blonde pony tail bobbing tantalisingly in front of my eyes. I don't know if it was that mesmerising soft tail of hair, or the perfume of her shampoo, the same one that Gwen used, or just because they were so very much alike but for a moment I forgot that it was Maggie and not Gwen before me.
I was running on auto-pilot and before I realised what I was doing I stepped up close and leaned my chin on her shoulder and slid my arms around her waist my hands slipping beneath the hem of her shirt and resting lightly on her bare waist, finger tips against her firm belly. It felt smooth and cool and it took a serious physical effort to stop myself from reaching up to cup her breasts. It was what I would have done if she HAD been Gwen and we were alone together.
I suddenly realised what I was doing but before I could withdraw she had put down her pencil and placed both of her hands over mine holding them against her, the fabric of her shirt sandwiched between. She didn't seem to mind my hands being on her bare midriff and I wasn't at all sure if her hands were covering mine to hold them in place or to stop them wandering to where they would not be welcomed.
"What have I done to warrant this sudden rush of affection from my nephew?" she chuckled, and turned her face slightly to give me a small peck on the cheek.
I really didn't want to think about Maggie being my aunt, we almost never treated each other as aunt and nephew and she had recently become more tactile and affectionate than ever, but I was very close to breaking through a boundary and as much as it was one that I desperately wanted to tear down I shied away... the risk was just too great!
I slid my hands back out from under her shirt and thrust them into my pockets out of harms way. "No reason... just felt like giving you a hug," I mumbled lamely, "Sorry."
"I didn't say that I didn't like it..." she teased. Her flirting sent a small tingle of response rippling though my balls.
For about the millionth time the thought entered my mind that she MUST know how I felt about her. This was not the first time that I had nearly made a real pass at her and we spent time nearly every day together, probably adding up to more hours than most married couples had in the average week. Certainly it was more time alone than Gwen and I ever expected to get.
What really concerned me was that I had almost slipped up and called her Gwen.... Not even Mum.... Gwen! Sons do hug their mothers sometimes, but they call her Mum they don't use her given name. Maggie was far too perceptive to miss that kind of mistake and it was hard enough already trying to hide our relationship from her as she was Gwen's twin. The hardest thing about having an intimate relationship with your mother, an incestuous relationship, was the having to keep secrets, lie and hide away from those people that you both loved most, the other members of your family, knowing that the slightest error in judgement would hurt not just you but them as well. It was the heart-breaking, hateful price that Gwen and I had to pay for the joy that our special intimacy had brought us.