The Not so Secret Agent

Chapter 9: Three Awkward Dinners

Criminal work crew 6 was treated surprisingly well during their last week. Breaks were longer and more frequent, workdays went from twelve hours down to ten, and not one of the crew was struck in the last seven days.

One of the guards said that this week of good treatment was meant to show the warden's appreciation for all the hard work the criminals had done in service to their country. Arthur wondered if anyone was gullible enough to believe that explanation. Regardless, this easy last week had its effect; he was feeling better and most of the welts and bruises across his shoulders faded away.

Arthur had never been so glad to board a bus as he was on Thursday morning, the tenth of September. He sat down by the window and like most of the others he turned to watch Novo Sumi Ris recede in the distance as the bus traveled east. The Danubian criminals were ecstatic to be leaving the camp, there were so many conversations going on that it was difficult to understand any of their fast paced words. Arthur didn't want to talk anyway; it was nice to simply look out the window and watch the countryside roll by. Thirty minutes later he stepped off the bus in front of the Ministry of Public Works, after a brief processing he was handed a stamped document and released.

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Arthur had to wait just a short time before Spokesman Ralkliv walked in. After going through the formal greeting, Ralkliv invited him into his private office to discuss his situation.

"Arthur it is good to see you back," Ralkliv said in English. "I trust they didn't treat you too badly at the work camp?"

"It wasn't all that bad really," Arthur replied with a straight face. "And I did get to see a bit of the countryside."

"Good, good. I was more than a little worried about you; I have heard that sometimes the Ministry's guards can be fairly harsh toward criminals sentenced to their camps." Ralkliv raised an eyebrow. "And that flood must have been terrifying."

Arthur tried to steer the subject in another direction. "Yes, it was a big one. Spokesman, I was surprised to meet Samantha and Laura at the same camp, I actually had a lot of contact with them. One of the guards had me teach them to speak Danubian. I believe they were released yesterday. Are they back in the city now?"

"Yes, they're back." Ralkliv gestured toward the window. "I have them working with the city groundskeepers for the time being, but there is something else we need to discuss. With Jakt's business shutting down for the winter I have to find you some other job." Ralkliv shook his head. "It has not been an easy task to find you employment."

"Spokesman," Arthur said in Danubian. "Don't you think that my Danubian is good enough to be understood?"

"Oh... Yes, Arthur that actually sounds very good but that is not the problem." Ralkliv explained. "People are reluctant to hire you because of who you are. The crimes that you were involved in were widely publicized."

"So they think I'm a danger? I didn't do anything but take cover during the gun fight."

"Regardless, they see you as a threat in more ways than one. It is not good to be called a spy in Danubia. Arthur, in two weeks I have not found a single private employer willing to hire you."

Spokesman Ralkliv opened a folder. "That leaves only two options. The first is that you could be placed on a criminal labor crew for the Ministry of Public Works. The second option... By the way can you swim? Yes? Alright, the second option is that every fall the Ministry of Natural Resources uses a criminal work crew to clean up around the reservoir as well as do some maintenance on park grounds; it is only until winter though by that time perhaps I can find you another position."

"Do I have the choice, Spokesman?"

"Either of these options are acceptable to me, but you might want to think it over some."

"There's no need, I want the Ministry of Natural Resources job up on the lake."

Ralkliv nodded. "Very well. In two weeks you will need to report to the headquarters but before then I will have to get you an appointment with them for the necessary certification. They require some basic water rescue training for all workers, there is a training center not far from here."

Spokesman Ralkliv opened a desk drawer and removed a bundle of papers about an inch thick. "I have to go downstairs for a few minutes, why don't you look through some of the mail that has accumulated since you have been gone."

Ralkliv left and Arthur picked up the letter on top. "Let's see, one from the Assistant Secretary of the Bureau of European and Eurasian Affairs." He ripped it open and read.

'We thank you for taking the time to write the Office of the...' Arthur skipped ahead... 'Regret to inform you that no further action is legally warranted in your case at this time. However, the US Department of State is dedicated to assuring the fair treatment of US citizens held in custody overseas, therefore a US Consular Officer will be sent to meet with you at the soonest possible date.'

The next letter was from the office of his congressman. 'Under current international agreements the United States Congress does not have the authority to alter the legal status of US citizens held in custody outside of our borders...' Arthur skimmed ahead... 'It would be more appropriate to direct your efforts to the European Bureau of the Department of State.'

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Great, this is the one time that they don't want to meddle overseas." He knew his own future was looking bleak, every effort he had made so far to get assistance from the US had failed, and the way that Danubians viewed him made any kind of reduced sentence very unlikely.

"I've only been here four months." Arthur whispered to himself. "Twenty-nine years and eight months to go."

There was a sense of disbelief when he glanced at the next envelope. "You have got to be kidding me! It must have taken a bloodhound with crystal balls to find me here."

He ripped open the envelope labeled: Alumni Association. 'You are cordially invited to attend the Annual University Homecoming and Alumni Banquet.'

Arthur smiled deviously. "So they encourage alumni to send in a picture of themselves and news of what's going on in their lives along with a donation. I would definitely have the most interesting capsule in the alumni newsletter. Let's see, what would I say?" Arthur flipped the paper over and started scribbling on the back.

Dear Alumni Association,

It is good to hear from you, please allow me to catch you up on what's going on in my life. The past few months have been very challenging and exciting! I had always wanted to visit Europe so back in May when a business opportunity presented itself I took a big risk and traveled to a country in Eastern Europe known as the Grand Duchy of Upper Danubia. It was a big change from what I was used to, but I always felt that going new places and meeting new people really expanded a person's horizons.

From the beginning I was positively captivated by the Duchy's fascinating customs, culture, and unique legal system. Now I truly understand what it means to step outside my comfort zone. I have a new job, a new place to live, new friends, and I'm taking advantage of this opportunity to learn a difficult foreign language. And the people are so friendly here! I suspect that I'm going to live in Danubia for a good long time; in fact, one might say that the government insists upon it!

Yours Truly,

Arthur Liggett, Criminal # 88588

"Ok, now all I need is a photograph and I can have Tee type this up and send it in with a donation. I dare them to take the money and publish this!" Arthur cackled. "Tee's gonna have a spasm."

Arthur straightened up as Spokesman Ralkliv returned. "Spokesman, I want to take some photographs to send back home. Where can I get a cheap camera?"

Ralkliv shook his head. "You cannot."

"I can pay for it, my sister could wire in the money if I don't have enough here."

"No, I mean you are not allowed to possess a camera." Ralkliv sat back down at his desk.

Arthur was confused yet again. "Criminals can't have cameras?"

"Most criminals can, but you were convicted of espionage so you are not allowed to possess any recording devices. I went over this with you after your trial"

Arthur didn't want to say that it had taken weeks to get where he could understand Ralkliv's heavily accented English clearly. "So could I get Samantha to buy the camera and take the pictures I want?"

"Absolutely not!" Ralkliv tapped a forefinger on the desktop as he forcefully made his point. "Directing another criminal to conspire with you to go around the law is even worse. Criminal # 88588, I am your custodian under the law and you will do as I say, you must not try and circumvent the intent of the law." Spokesman Ralkliv made an exasperated gesture, leaned back in his chair and took a long breath. "Arthur I... I just don't trust you, when I talk to you it seems that your words are calculated and you show no expression at all as though you don't want me to know what you're really thinking."

"Spokesman, please understand that I'm not trying to be evasive, it's just that this place is so strange to me and I don't want to offend anyone by saying the wrong thing." Arthur wondered if he sounded convincing. "So... how can I legally obtain a photo to send home?"

Spokesman Ralkliv sighed. "I'll have my secretary take a couple pictures, is that satisfactory criminal # 88588?"

"Yes sir." Arthur smiled. "That's excellent, but there's one other thing concerning Samantha..."

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Courtship was complicated business; Spokesman Ralkliv had looked quizzically at him as he started writing it all down in his notebook. For Danubians, the courtship protocol was ordinary but to a foreigner like Arthur it was beyond confusing. It seemed they had rules for just about everything. To keep track of it all Arthur wrote down everything he learned; the notebook was already half full of his scribbling.

Arthur checked the clock; it was six-fifteen already; time to go to the hotel to meet Samantha's parents. This meeting was either step three or four in the protocol, depending on how you counted; it was hard to say since his was not a typical case.

During the last week at the labor camp Arthur had asked Samantha 'out' while they walked along the inside of the perimeter fence. Arthur planned to have some kind of a date once they got back to Rika Chorna, but the next day Samantha informed him that it was not going to be that easy. One of the female criminals had explained the whole courtship process in some detail.

First he needed Spokesman Ralkliv's permission; since he was Samantha's spokesman too that was straight forward enough. Next he needed to be invited to dinner with Samantha's host family, and that's where the trouble began. She might as well have asked to have a wet dog seated at their dinner table. It seemed that there was a serious social stigma with having the American spy over for supper but after much negotiation Ralkliv and the host family came to an unusual agreement. Samantha's parents were coming to see their daughter on the 14th of September; the deal was that if Arthur could gain her parent's permission, then Samantha's host family would reluctantly invite Arthur to sit at their table.

They probably didn't think Samantha's parents would even consider giving the infamous spy permission to court their only daughter but Arthur was determined to prove them wrong. Samantha told him all about her mom and dad. Arthur knew where they lived, and worked, their hobbies, and a lot of other information that might help him make a good impression. They would obviously be concerned about his crimes, though Arthur was sure that they thought their daughter was being treated unfairly and so they might have some sympathy for his situation too.

Arthur walked through the sparsely decorated hotel lobby and found room 112 near the end of a narrow hallway; he took a deep breath to steady his nerves and knocked on the door. The same man that Arthur had briefly met three months earlier opened the door. "Please come inside Mr. Liggett."

There was a tense handshake. "It's good to meet you again Mr. Sherman. Please, call me Arthur."

Introducing himself to Samantha's parents while naked was an uncomfortable situation to say the least. In the spectrum of bad ways to meet a girlfriend's parents, being naked with a tracking collar on your neck would surely score high on the list. Arthur thought he was over his inhibitions toward nudity until he was standing naked in front of these two fully clothed Americans. It was beyond embarrassing, though the Shermans looked just as red in the face as he did all over.

"This is my wife Anna." Mr. Sherman ushered his tall slender wife forward to shake Arthur's hand. "Samantha will be along in a few minutes, we wanted to speak with you alone first." They invited Arthur to sit at a small dining room table, perhaps so he wouldn't look quite so distracting.

Mrs. Sherman poured Arthur a glass of water and sat down; she had a friendly smile and piercing eyes. "Why don't you tell us a little about yourself Arthur?"

Arthur gave a practiced response with a brief description of his upbringing, family, education, jobs and such. He was sure to put in several pauses to make it seem less rehearsed.

"Arthur," A visibly nervous Mr. Sherman tapped his fingers together and leaned forward. "There is the matter of the crimes you were convicted of... we can't allow Samantha to see someone dangerous, you understand. Samantha believes that you were innocent of the crimes and just fooled into participating in that break-in and theft, and that you weren't involved in the shooting. Is that true, are you not guilty?"

Arthur was not so calm then; he forgot his practiced response altogether. He delayed by taking a slow sip of water. Focus didn't come. Samantha's parents waited for response. Arthur shifted uncomfortably, he just couldn't think straight under the pressure.

"I'm sorry," Arthur said at last, shaking his head with embarrassment. "It's... um... just that I can't always remember things clearly. I haven't been sleeping much."

Mrs. Sherman nodded. "That's understandable; just take your time Arthur."

Arthur drank down the rest of his water and stared at the empty glass in his hands. The longer he focused on it the calmer and relaxed he felt.

"I used to say I was completely innocent, that my old boss and that Russian had just used me to get what they wanted, but I knew it wasn't legitimate."

"Mr. Neal said Rumak was an associate of his, someone involved in the energy markets. I met Rumak in Germany on the morning of the eighth of May; we arrived at our destination not six hours after we first met.

I didn't inquire all that much about what he was up to; he seemed to know what he was doing like he had been here before. I really didn't want to know the details. I just focused on my part; I would get the data for him.

And of course I thought I was worth all that money... it felt so good. I liked the idea of it: to fly into a strange foreign country, do a job like that and get out the same day with all that money... it was like something out of a movie.

But Rumak turned out to be a very dangerous man. I guess he thought he was caught so he shot the policeman and left me there to take the blame. I didn't know he had a gun. I didn't know who he really was... but that's no excuse. Without my help, he probably wouldn't have been in Rika Chorna that day and that police officer wouldn't have been shot. The policeman almost died. He has a wife and two little kids, and from what I understand, he will never fully recover."

Arthur paused for a long while. "I don't know... sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and think about what happened... and I realize I did this to myself. Someone almost died and I hurt my family. I think if my dad was still alive he would be ashamed of me."

Arthur stopped talking and looked up at the couple seated in front of him. While he had spoken he had a distant feeling like he was alone and talking only to himself, he certainly hadn't planned to be so embarrassingly honest in front of Samantha's parents. He really did need to get more sleep.

"Um... sorry." Arthur blinked away tears, took a sharp breath and cleared his throat. "Mr. and Mrs. Sherman, I have my problems but I'm no danger to your daughter or anyone else."

"Arthur, I appreciate you telling us the truth." Mrs. Sherman said. "I would have been suspicious if you claimed to be completely innocent," Her eyes darted toward her husband then back to Arthur; she seemed to have difficulty bringing up the next part. "Arthur, I want to know about Samantha, yesterday she admitted to us that she had been using ecstasy for the past year. Do you think she's clean?"

"Yes ma'am, there's no drug problem here. She never said anything to me about drugs since her arrest; I don't think she was addicted. It would be nearly impossible to find drugs here anyway, and even if a criminal found a dealer he still couldn't buy anything, you see criminals aren't even allowed to carry money."

"Good, that's so good to hear." Mrs. Sherman said. "Samantha told us how you tried to warn her and Laura about the drug laws, and you tried to keep them from getting arrested. She said you got in trouble because of that."

"Yes ma'am. That seems like a long time ago... having lunch at that restaurant. Tourists don't understand how harsh the laws are here but I guess my warnings didn't do much good. I was really shocked to see them arrested the next week."

"And you got punished for trying to keep Samantha and Laura out of trouble." Mr. Sherman seethed: "Unbelievable!"

Arthur decided that it would be best to let them assume that his motivations were pure and noble that day. "It wasn't their fault, sir. I made my own decision when I chose to not report a crime."

"If you don't mind, Arthur... um..." Mrs. Sherman's voice quivered like she might cry. "Samantha isn't telling us anything... how bad is it, these beatings?"

Arthur flinched but kept eye contact with Mrs. Sherman. "Um... I really don't know what to say. The pain is intense... I thought I would pass out, but I didn't. The police keep you right on the edge; they want to break your will, they want to humiliate you... that's sometimes almost as bad as the pain. It's a hard thing to deal with, for me at least."

Mrs. Sherman took a quick breath, choking back a sob. "How can these people be so cruel?"

Both parents were distraught. Arthur realized he wasn't being very reassuring. "Uh... well, Danubians don't see it that way; they're real proud of their system. They think it's cruel to lock someone in a jail cell." Arthur shrugged. "This is harsh but I suppose it's better than prison in some ways."

Mr. Sherman looked exhausted; he ran a hand through his thinning hair and sighed. "I can't stand the thought of it."

"Samantha's really pretty tough." Arthur reassured. "When I saw her before the trial she looked so fragile, I thought she'd just fall apart but she didn't. Really, she's dealt with it better than me in some ways. And as bad as it is, the switchings don't do permanent harm. Samantha's got five really bad days ahead of her; and then it will be over with. For a drug conviction... from what I understand it's usually worse."

Arthur looked away as Mrs. Sherman finally broke down. She excused herself from the table. Arthur could clearly hear her sobbing behind the bathroom door.

"Arthur," Mr. Sherman asked after his wife had gone. "How many do you have left? If you don't mind me asking."

"No sir, I don't mind. Let's see," Arthur acted like he didn't think about it much. "Four per year, for thirty years... minus two... so it would be a hundred and eighteen more."