The Beginning
I awoke after having slept for a few hours and felt rested enough to take care of a few things today without sleeping late into the day. I would go back to bed a couple of hours earlier tonight to help reduce the jet lag so that I could hit the ground running when I returned to the office tomorrow.
I gave a slight groan as I anticipated that there would be a backlog of tasks that somehow others just couldn't have managed in my absence, but hoped it would be a relatively small list. I had studiously ignored my phone and the concomitant texts and emails that filled the devilish device while I was gone. I had added that to my list of tasks for the day so I could weed out the wheat from the chaff and save myself some time tomorrow.
I would not describe myself as a workaholic anymore, but this would be a gentle re-entry into that world without ruining my day. I recognized shortly after the separation from Tiffany that my job had actually been a saving grace for me because I could focus on that instead of my personal life, so I looked forward to going into the office rather than dreading it.
I decided that 30 minutes would be my limit for work-related efforts, so after showering and eating a small lunch, I sat at my computer and told my smart speaker to start a playlist of relaxing songs I liked as the screen booted up. Thankfully, there was even less to sort than I had anticipated and what was left was not something I needed to be stressed about today and I put the device back to sleep.
The problem came from another, unexpected direction. When I powered on my phone to check my text messages and voicemail from the past week, there were increasingly whiney messages from Tiffany asking me to reply or call her back. She of course had no idea that I had been away for a week and probably thought I was just ignoring her, which felt just fine with me I thought.
Realizing that all the women over the past week had been pleasant and thoughtful toward me provided a nice and relevant contrast to Tiffany's behavior not just now, but over the past few years as I thought about it. I decided that as she had not actually said why I needed to contact her, it must not have anything to do with the kids.
I also knew they would have felt comfortable contacting me directly because we had a good relationship despite the separation and divorce from their mother. I had not gone into many of the details of the divorce with them, wanting to spare them the need to think less of her, but I was pretty sure they knew from other sources.
Tiffany would always be their mother and whatever our differences might have been, I would always respect her for giving me two wonderful children that brought joy and happiness to my life, so I did not feel the need to say anything that might bring a wedge in their relationship with her. Call me old fashioned, but that's just the way I saw it.
I decided that I would not respond to her today, or maybe ever depending on my mood tomorrow, and I experienced another epiphany like I had after walking in the front door last night: I needn't concern myself with her at all anymore unless I chose to do so.
The divorce was final and I no longer had any obligation to her and I realized it didn't matter to me anymore what she thought about me or my actions. That put a smile back on my face and I felt myself relaxing again. I thought about my task list and decided I was going restock my refrigerator next and perhaps go to the theatre or catch a movie this evening if I wasn't too tired.
The grocery market was down the street a few blocks and it seemed like a nice day for a walk, so I grabbed my reusable cloth bags and locked the door behind me. As I exited the lobby onto the sidewalk, the woman I shared an elevator with a few times and fantasized about was entering the building. I held the door and smiled warmly at her and she smiled back, holding my gaze for a second as she thanked me.
"It's nice to see gallantry hasn't completely died," she said.
I did a mock bow while doffing an imaginary hat as she passed into the lobby and she gave a small giggle. I decided I liked the reactions I was garnering when I acted a little more light-hearted and wasn't so self-conscious about myself.
The walk to the store felt good to my muscles and the distance seemed shorter than usual given my good mood. I made a point of smiling at everyone along my journey and while in the store and I found that almost everyone smiled back, sometimes unconsciously, which of course made my mood even brighter.
I completed my shopping list and filled the bags with my purchases for the walk back. The bags were heavier this time, but nothing too strenuous and even that exercise felt good.
I arrived back in the lobby and saw the woman I had held the door for get up from a chair and walk toward me as I headed to the elevator. I had the sense that she had been waiting for me, which seemed a bit odd, but I decided to roll with it and see what this might be about.
"Let me get this door for you as well," I said as I pushed the button for up.
She giggled again and we waited for the car to arrive, which it did in short order. She entered first and when the door shut, she turned to face me and held up her hands.
"I promise I'm not a stalker or a crazy person, but I wanted to personally thank you for your kindness today. It was something I really needed. I saw your grocery bags and knew you wouldn't be long so I waited in the lobby until you returned hoping for a chance to talk to you," she said.
"See, no weapons or rope to hold you captive," she said as she slowly turned a complete circle.
"Don't worry, you had me captive with the pirouette. No other devices needed to capture me," I said looking at her appreciatively.
"Are you always this charming?" she blushed.
"It's a recently acquired skill. How am I doing with it?" I asked.
"I'd say you are a fast learner if you are new at this. I'm Julie by the way," she said and held out her hand for me to shake.
"I'm William," I replied and instead of shaking her hand, I took it and brought it upward to my mouth to give a brief kiss.
"...and you are rather charming yourself. I'd love to talk with you about anything you want. Would you allow me to take you to dinner this evening? That would give us a chance to talk where the ambiance is more pleasant and less boxy," I continued.
"I...I'd enjoy that, but I have to be up front with you. I'm already in a relationship that's charitably described as complicated, so having dinner would be wonderful and I can use that time to explain myself more completely, but I want to be clear that I'm not looking for anything long-term," she blustered as she was taken back by my offer.
"Now I definitely want to take you to dinner and hear your story. No other strings attached," I replied.
"I'll meet you in the lobby at 6pm if that works for you," she said looking relieved that her honesty hadn't turned me away.
"It does. See you then," I replied with a smile.
We reached the top floor and I exited the elevator and she pushed a button for her floor. I knew from previously being in the elevator with her that she had passed her floor to give us another minute or two to finish our conversation.
I pondered this unexpected exchange as I put away the groceries and remembered some of the fantasy scenarios I created a while back with her as my subject. I smiled as I thought about the irony of life and the surprises it holds. Nothing in my imagination had been even close to this encounter and I suspected the rest of the evening would be just as unimaginable.
Once again I thought about how differently things felt after a week at the Resort. I could not have seen myself acting this way before that experience. Now I felt as confident in myself socially as I had always felt in my job and it was a change I was sure that I would not have been able to create on my own. I no longer needed to prove myself to anyone and I could return to being the person that felt I was inside which had been sequestered for many years.
I decided I would take Julie to a sushi place I knew of off the beaten path that I had frequented for years with business colleagues and occasionally Tiffany. The food was an unheralded delight and the atmosphere was the right mix of busy and personal, so it seemed like a good place to talk for a while without being too conspicuous or rushed by staff to finish and leave.
I was well known by the owner and I called the maitre d' and asked if I could have a table for two out of the way for 6:30pm tonight. He was happy to reserve it and said he looked forward to seeing me and my wife again. I had not thought about that and I took a moment to explain that I was now divorced and was bringing someone else instead. He apologized for the faux pas and I told him not to be concerned.
Around 5pm I took another quick shower and changed clothes for the evening. I looked at myself in the mirror as I combed my hair and noticed that I had a nice tan from being in the tropics for a week, something else that had changed about me. I had seldom spent time relaxing or working in the sun these past many years and decided it was a good look that I would have to maintain.
As I had no idea what tonight might hold, I made sure the place was clean and neat in case Julie happened to come over later. The thought put a smile on my face, but I decided not to fantasize about it. Rather, I would just see how the reality turned out.
I arrived in the lobby a little early as was my habit with time schedules and she was already there. I wondered what that might mean as I walked over to where she was waiting.
"Hi William. I'm looking forward to this evening," she said a little nervously.
She was wearing a floral print, mostly-modest summer dress with spaghetti straps that accented her figure nicely. Her hair was in a loose ponytail draped over her shoulder, just covering one breast.
"You look stunning in that dress. It makes me want to take up gardening," I said impishly.
She blushed and seemed pleased by the compliment.
"Give me a minute to pull the car around front. It's a red Lexus," I said over my shoulder as I took the stairs down to the underground garage.
Three minutes later she was sitting in the passenger seat and we headed to Toshi's across town. The conversation was light as we drove and I offered a few opportunities for deeper conversation by asking open ended questions.
She apparently was not yet ready to discuss the true point of our evening together, so I decided to just enjoy her company and let her bring it up whenever she felt comfortable enough, if she hadn't changed her mind about sharing her story. I was having an enjoyable time in her company already and didn't see how that would change either way it turned out.
The conversation remained light through most of dinner and then started to become more personal. I told her about the recent finalization of my divorce and she looked concerned and sympathetic.
I saw the look and reassured her that I was just fine and gave the clean version of my exploits over the past week. This seemed to provide the last reassurance she needed to finally bring down her guard and began sharing her story and the reason she wanted to talk with me.
"I'm not actually sure why I'm sharing any of this with you, but most of the time I just feel invisible and it was a pleasant change when you held the door for me and treated me like I actually was worth noticing," she stared.
"The view I have of myself comes largely from being isolated and interacting mostly with my boyfriend. I don't work and stay at home most of the time, so opportunities to get feedback about myself from other relationships has been limited for the past few years. I'm not a shut-in and do go out at times, but I don't have many friends to go with me so it isn't as enjoyable by myself," she confessed.
