Pin + White

I remember the very minute of the exact day when I first caught a glimpse of one of the most beautiful Goddesses to grace the planet Earth. I was in northern Wisconsin at the time, spending the week with a friend of mine. He lived just outside one of the small towns that dotted the scenic lakes in the region. After a couple days of lazing about enjoying the pine forest views from his pontoon, I decided to head to the gym in the next town over to loosen up and get a much needed work out in.

I was thirty at the time and enjoying one of the better physical conditions I had ever had in my life. Normally, I have always sported a little bit of pudge around my stomach, but I had been active all year to this point and had kept my body lean and strong. My barrel chest and thick legs were still very much in place, but my muscles were primed and swollen. There was no doubt that I was feeling confident in my appearance as I made my way to the gym.

My walk from the parking lot to the front door was slow, but not of my own accord. It just felt slow. My field of vision was expanded, and I was noticing every little detail around me. The sharpness of light of the summer sun, the sounds of several different birds scattered amongst the nearby trees. The contrast between the sharp edge of the building's sign against the bright blue of the sky behind it. The loose crumpled up receipt seemingly glued to the sticky asphalt in the parking lot. I knew something was in the air. A soft hum was resonating in left ear serving as a clear indicator. My subconscious was keying me in on the fact that something incredible was about to take place. Thankfully, I was attuned to such things happening around me, having had such experiences in the past linked to key events.

Upon entering the gym it took my eyes a moment to adjust. I could see that the space wasn't terribly big, but honestly, I was not expecting too much so far from a major population center. There was a bank of cardio machines on one side and a bank of weight racks opposite. It was well lit, fans were spinning overhead, and it had a slight musk to it that told me this was a good place to sweat.

With my bandana on and earbuds in it was time to get to work. I have been, and always will be a creature of habit. Even in unfamiliar waters, I continued with what I always do. Cardio to wake up, free weights, and finish hard with cardio. I was in the middle of the third leg and running on the treadmill when I saw the front door open. With a burst of light from the sun behind her, in walked a slim blonde haired women. I averted my eyes, conforming to standard gym etiquette. No one wants every set of eyes in there staring at them as they walk through the door. I took that moment to glance at my phone and noticed that it was 10:27 and Pink + White by Frank Ocean was pushing through my earbuds.

Assuming I was now safe to steal a glance back at the doorway, I was able to see her a little clearer without the sunlight obscuring the details. I could now make out the pink leggings and white sports bra she was wearing. Pink and white, I thought to myself. She's matching the song I'm listening to. With a rye smile I continued to look ahead. She began to make her way down the middle row toward me. Now that she was getting closer, I stole another glance over.

It happened in an instant. The entirety of my universe slowed down and I was struck dumbby the shear beauty of the woman walking toward me.

"Just the same way you showed me, showed me." Played in my ears as she took five or six steps closer and my eyes were glued to her. She had shoulder length ice blonde hair. A small button nose with a septum horseshoe and a stud in the left nostral. Puffy and tender cupid's bow lips that were gleaming with a light pinkish hue. Her body, though slim, was incredibly fit and toned. Her full B cups were squeezed perfectly into her sports bra showing me exactly how well they would fit in my hands. Her light skin tone was pinkened by the summer sun and dark tattoos weaved patterns down both arms and a couple of outlined pieces were on both sides of her small stomach.

"You showed me love," played with her next couple of steps and her eyes swung up to meet mine. Her amber hazel eyes made my heart skip a beat. There was an abyss behind them. I could try to summarize everything I saw in them, but I would come off as a rambling fool in attempting to. At that moment, I knew I was incapable of pulling my eyes away from her. Thankfully, I did not trip and fall. My legs were keeping pace of their own accord. Running was the furthest thought in my mind.

"Glory from above," sounded so clearly in my head as she broke eye contact and passed me. Unable to check myself on how foolish I must be looking, I continued to watch her as she passed. Her soft shoulders were a little pinker than the rest of her body, showing that they had taken more of the sunlight yesterday. Her toned back showed more dark lined art work sneaking out above and below the strap of her bra. Which took my eyes straight down the small of her back straight to a glorious apple shaped booty that was bouncing so smoothly with each step.

I know for a fact that my mouth was open as mouthed a soundless, "Ohhh my." She was stunning. Absolutely perfect. From her little feet hidden in her white sneakers to the large bronze sunglass resting on the top of her head. I was certain that this was no ordinary woman that just passed by me. There was something hiding in her eyes. Something fierce, commanding, and primal mixed with something loving, generous, and pure. Moreover, the height of ecstasy was flickering the entire time in little flashes. As she entered the locker room I was able to snap back to reality. For a moment, the handful of people in the gym had disappeared from existence. Very possibly even the whole world went empty. At least, this is the way it felt to me.

Realizing that I was indeed still running, I eased the throttle back on the treadmill and walked with my thoughts for a few moments. My breath and heart rate slowly coming back down. There was something incredibly familiar about her. I spent the next few moments running around through memories trying to place her. I took my ear buds out and slowed my pace even further, Racking my mind to figure out where I knew her from.

I began to hum without thought of what melody was kicking around my subconscious when the words, "Glory from above." escaped my lips.That stopped my mind dead in its tracks. Glory from above. That must be it, I thought to myself. There is no other option. This is what was trying to get my attention before I even walked through the door. It was the glory of a Goddess that was down from the heavens. That is what locked me so tight to her eyes. There were levels beyond my comprehension deep within her eyes. Her perfect physical attributes. All of it. It was all beginning to make complete sense to me.

As she exited the locker room, I took a quick glance over to see that she was looking straight at me. "Shit," I thought to myself. I was staring way to hard and of course she noticed. I quickly got my eyes back down and dipped my head forward a bit. I closed my eyes and mouthed, "I humble myself before you." Making absoulety sure to hold that position until I was certain she had moved past me. I could only hope that she accepted my apology and took no offense. Once I was sure that she had moved on, I opened my eyes back up and continued my cool down stroll. My mind was back to moving a million miles a second as I worked to try to figure out which of the Goddesses was currently hanging out in northern Wisconsin. I needed to find out. I had no choice, but to introduce myself and see what was there to be found.

I am still, to this day, extremely pleased with the way our first conversation went. I could feel that I was a slight annoyance to her at first, but I was able navigate the waters calmly enough. I am still unable to recall the specifics or what was said, but I can recall being completely locked into those hazel eyes and that she was 25 years old, having celebrated a birthday a couple weeks earlier.

Thankfully my subconscious was able to maintain enough charisma to properly compliment, humor, and intrigue her. The voice in the foreground of my mind was working relentlessly to uncover her true identity. There was strength, undeniable inner power in them. Although annoyed at first, she was completely at home being the center of my attention. She was overwhelmingly beautiful up close, too. As if she had been sculpted by one of the masters and life was magically breathed into her.

I was so overrun with searching her eyes the entire time we spoke. She had such a sweet and calming voice that seemed to match her supple lips and playful smile. She introduced herself and explained that she was in the area for a couple of weeks visiting family. I do recall introducing myself very clearly. As I did, I crossed my heart with my right hand, held my breast firmly, and lowered my head in a sign of fidelity. Bringing my eyes and head back up. I remember the mixed look on her face clearly. Her slightly opened mouth smile showed utter confusion, but her eyes, those sharp eyes, flashed with total excitement.

"Bingo," I remember thinking to myself. She knew exactly what that was a reference to. She knew that I saw through her disguise and the power in her eyes in that moment, as she measured me, was palpable. I was spot on with my intuition. She was a Goddess choosing to walk the earth. Fair and beautiful, strong and irresistible, sharp and measured. There was no question that she was at the very top of whichever pantheon she ruled from. I continued to search her eyes as best I could as our conversation bounced around the arena of small talk. There was a sexual fire burned in those gorgeous hazel eyes. The embers of it constantly causing little pops of a fire to jump up and tease the air around her. I had a feeling that struck me deep as I continued to casually talk with her. I must, absolutely must pray at her alter and give her the respect and adoration due.

This thought stoked a fire in her eyes as if she was searching me right back and could see into the depths of my soul and hidden desires. As if she could see me picturing her naked body laying before me and was inviting me to see if I could indeed handle such a situation, and furthermore, if I was worthy of such a blessing. Our back and forth small talk exchanges were clearly secondary for both of us at this point. We were both locked in deep with the effort of searching the others to answer the real questions we had.

Somehow we arrived to the point of exchanging numbers and making partial plans to possibly meet up at some point during the week to have dinner. With another punctuated bow of the head, pardoned myself and made my way from the small gym. The remainder of that afternoon continues to be nothing but a blur for me. I was locked deep inside my mind. Turning over every detail of the beauty that just strolled into my life. I had to make absolutely sure that I knew exactly who she really was before making my next move. A false step here would be a total catastrophe.

I was able to take advantage of peaceful and breezy summer night to find a locked in channel to uninterrupted meditation and reflection. I began with setting the small box that contained my tarot deck on table. The soft light bouncing from the two torches from either side of the back deck and the brilliant light from the full moon cast just enough light to see what I was doing. I opened the top of the box and removed the clear quartz crystal that remained on guard over my deck at all times. Holding it firmly in my left I lowered the crystal and began the cleanse I use before each reading.

Starting directly over my groin and moving to the crown of my head, I recited, "keep me grounded, unlock my passions, give me strength, let love flow, speak the truth, open my eyes, bring me understanding." I set the crystal down alongside the box and used my left hand to remove the deck. With a light shuffle using only the left hand, spread all 78 cards in a long arch before me. With my eyes closed and my hand over the first card on the right, I took a deep cleansing breath and began to focus on her. Waiting until I could clearly see her and only her in my mind's eye.

As soon as I was sure of my clarity, I began to slide my hand to the left. Fingers outstretched, waiting for the slightest change in feeling to glide across the tips. Making my way toward the middle of the arch, I could feel a tingle in my pinky slowly sliding to my ring, then middle finger. There it was. That was her card. The exact one I needed to focus on while I find her. Dropping my middle finger slowly and touching only her card. I slid it out from the deck. As soon as it was free, I opened my eyes and rolled the card over to see her grasping the head of a lion.

Strength was honestly the card that I expected to pull when thinking of her. A card of inner strength and passion. Her calm demeanor keeping the primal animal inside from running wild at all times. Also, it's direct and obvious connection to Leo brought me a couple steps closer to identifying which Goddess she was. I now had my point of focus for the meditation.

In the peace of the cool summer air, I was able to stay slow and controlled with my chakras. Moving through each one slowly searching for her presence in each one. Taking slow, calculated steps up from the root, I did not feel anything out of place until I got to the very top. I could feel the energy tickling around the top of my head as soon as I shifted up from my third eye. As if her hand was outstretched over the top of my head. Hovering just above to feel for the energy shift in me.

Flowing with this feeling I stayed there with it and allowed her to show me what I needed to see. I could see the smoldering embers of her eyes and focused on that point as those embers rose and grew into a fantastic bright ball spinning before me. The light and warmth of the Sun was there with me in that moment. As a whole body shiver of pure electricity shot through me, I knew she was there along side me. I could feel the hand still over stretched over my head and knew my Goddess was pleased with my focus and control. She could feel the energy coursing from my crown chakra and knew that I was worthy of her love and passion.

There are few things more energizing in this life than making direct contact with the energy of another being. I could have remained in this place until my body ceased to be. I could feel it all in this place. Her warmth, power, passion, love, strength, confidence, and whole glorious existence. The exalted Queen of the Vinar was standing before me with her hand overstretched above me, her faithful servant.

"Freya..." softly escaped my lips and in that moment an overpowering golden light overtook the light of the sun that had shown in my mind's eye.

"My Goddess..." slipped out with a small smile. I knew exactly who I was in contact with. I moved away from the lights flickering around the deck and settled quietly in a patch of grass completely exposed to the light of the moon. I sank to my knees, closed my eyes, and uttered the prayer that I could feel creating itself as I spoke.

"Freya, my Goddess of passion and strength. I humble myself before your radiant beauty. May the fire that burns in your eyes give me strength and courage in all the dark recesses of my life. May you find me worthy to worship at your altar, for there is no woman in the heavens or on the Earth that can touch your perfection. Goddess and matriarch of Leo, Queen and mother above all, accept my adoration and devotion. I am your humble servant, in this life, and in all that have been and will ever be."

With the closing of my prayer, I could feel the pin pricks of energy around the top of my head shifting. They split down both sides of my face, guided by an invisible hand. The energy rolled down my chin and neck and onto my chest where it came to rest right above my heart. My words were not empty or lost on the wind. She was there in mkmt moment, and more than pleased with my simple prayer.

Knowing with certainty that I was attempting to gain the favor of Freya made me very nervous, truth be told. Saying that I wasn't would have been a lie. She is the Norse Queen of the Vinar. Wife of Odin and mother of Thor. Goddess of beauty, love, sex, fertility, battle, and the old magics. Any man attempting to gain her favor through shear charm, bravado, or flattery would quickly find themselves on a fool's errand. She is as confident and strong as any Goddess in any of the pantheons. The appropriate actions must be taken here so as to not offer insult or come off as far too cocky.

Over the next couple of days, we messaged back and forth and spent time both evenings talking on the phone while the world slept. This gave me the perfect opportunity to talk with her about all the finer details and to fill in the gaps in regards to her life's story and personality as a whole. I spoke when it was my turn to do so, but spent most of the time listening to her. She was at home as the center of my attention and was more than happy to talk through everything with me. This also gave me a fantastic chance to calm my nerves. I had to keep in mind who it was exactly that I was speaking to. This was paramount for my mindset and directly involved with not allowing myself to get too excited.

After those two days of talking and chatting back and forth we settled on meeting for dinner the following night. Being hundreds of miles away from any big cities, our options were limited, so we agreed on a small bistro style restaurant on one of the more scenic takes a couple towns over from where I was staying. Being on vacation, my wardrobe was limited, but I did have a nice turquoise and white plaid shirt that fit me incredibly well. I remember washing up, getting a fresh shave, and looking into the mirror before stepping out.

A quick head to toe raised my confidence right to where I needed it. My chest and arms were pressing slightly on the fabric and complimented my barrell-chested frame perfectly. I looked clean, strong, and confident. I needed every ounce of that confidence too. I was walking into the presence of a Goddess tonight and needed to remain poised and completely present. I gave myself an eye to eye glance in the mirror. With a slight smile, I knew I was in the right mindset for what was ahead of me.

I arrived at the restaurant fifteen minutes early and got our table for two out on the deck overlooking the lake. I took a minute and fully observed the beautiful view of the lake and the handful of other parties that would be out on the deck with us. It was a perfect summer night for such an occasion. Warm and clear with a very soft breeze push across the cooler lake.

Glancing back to the interior of the restaurant I caught a glimpse of her through the wide open double doors. My heart fluttered on the spot and I got my feet under me to rise from the chair. With each step she took in my direction time slowed and I was able to take in all of here grace and beauty. Grinning like a teenage boy with a crush, I was drawn directly to the beautiful summer dress she was wearing. It was an off white dress with a light pink and lilac floral pattern. The top was square cut with long flowing sleeves, and the skirt stopped just above the knees. Her thin and toned legs ran down to a pair of open toed platforms with thick pink lace that wrapped up her ankles.

Looking back up I could see her soft smile and those puffy pink lips shown in the dying sunlight. Her shoulder length ice blonde hair was sleek rolled into beautiful waves cutting in every direction at the bottom. As she got closer those sharp amber hazel eyes appraised me from head to toe. She could see me grinning like a total fool and it caused her smile to open just a bit.