It was just one o'clock when I woke from having just dropped off to sleep. There was some one hammering at my front door. Who the Hell....?
I opened it to see a slightly tipsy Davinia standing on my door step. She flung her arms around my neck. "I'm sorry, Dave. I think I got it wrong. Can I come in?"
"Of course you can. I'll put the kettle on, I think you need some coffee."
She wandered off towards my living room, whilst I went into the kitchen. Having made a couple of mugs of coffee, I took them into the living room, and passed her one.
"Am I forgiven then?" I asked.
"I'm not sure that there is anything to forgive. I got it wrong. I don't like you having all those films, but the ones I really don't like are probably not the ones you think I won't like."
I took a sip of coffee, it was too hot, "Why don't you start at the beginning, and tell me what happened this evening. Who was there?"
"Well, Beth and Alice, there was a friend of Beth's called Dani or Denny or something. She was the most puritanical of the lot of us, but I'll come to that. Then there was a girl called Carol who I think was from Beth's work, and Mrs Charlie Bullard! She was old enough to be my mother, and she's the wife of one of our senior bosses. It was a bit odd, watching dirty films and drinking wine and eating pizza with someone like her."
"Her name's Rose, isn't it? I've only met her at company do's, but I think Beth and Tim are quite in with the Bullards."
"Yes, well actually she was the most down to earth and unphased by anything of all of us. At one point we were watching a scene of a man licking out a girl's pussy, making a real meal of it he was, when she says, 'I've been with Charlie for thirty years, and I still haven't trained him to do that good a job.' It was sort of surreal. She suggested that she should borrow it as a training film for Charlie"
"Well?"
"Well, to be honest, the films weren't as bad as I thought they might be. Actually, Carol made us all admit that some of them really turned us on in parts. But I still don't like them all. We only sort of loaded them up and flicked through them, we didn't see any film right through, there were just too many." She looked at me pointedly, but her eyes weren't too violet.
I waited, and she continued, "When we got to a lesbian scene, Denny or Dani got upset and said it was totally unnatural that heterosexual women as these were, would take satisfaction in each other. And later on when we tried one of what we assumed would be a stronger film, Angela in the Dungeon?.."
I nodded, "Angela Visits the Dungeon." I corrected and confirmed
"Well, anyway. She insisted that she went and made coffee while we played that one. She didn't need to see that sort of thing! Actually, that was one of the films that was a bit of a surprise. Of course the film included whipping, you know that. And that scene where he put a needle through her nipple was a bit gross. But the man, the master I suppose you would call him, was always so gentle and careful for the safety of the girl. I guess it was simulated in parts, I don't know. But it was always consensual as far as we could see, and the master did really seem to care for the girl."
"But..?" I asked
"But, nothing on that one. I mean you're not going to whip me, that just isn't going to happen, so don't even bother to waste your dreams fantasising about it. You don't do you?"
"No. What I like about that film, beyond the fact that the girl has a certain sexy something, is the way she gives herself to the man. She is totally open and giving. That's what I find sexy. I really don't care about what they get up to."
"Oh. Anyway, what I really don't like, and a lot of the girls were with me on this, is the other films. Ones where the actual sex might be fairly OK, but the men just treat those women as pieces of meat. They're so ugly in their words and their attitudes to the women. That's horrible. Alice really seemed quite upset about this, she wasn't the least bit worried about any of the sex as such, but she sounded really bitter about the harshness of the men's attitudes to the women. Haven't you ever noticed just how unloving and lacking in respect those men are?"
"I guess they are. I hadn't really thought about that aspect of it."
"Well, that's what I've got to say, except I have an idea."
"Go on."
"Well, I really don't like you having so many of these things. Rose suggested that I tell you which half a dozen or a dozen films have to be thrown away. I quite liked that idea, but as we talked some more, I decided on another approach. If you want me back Dave, then I want you to throw away every film that you aren't happy to sit down and watch with me. I've told you a little about what I found acceptable. Now it's up to you."
"Can't you give me more of a clue as to which ones have to go?"
"No. If you're halfway the decent guy I think you are, then you'll know. And anyway, I haven't seen them all, and as I said, I haven't watched any of them right through."
"I do want you back, Dav. I don't know where we're going, but I want it to last longer than this."
"So, do we have a deal? It's for your own good as well as mine. Keep the ones that really hit your fantasies, but make sure they are ones that you can share with me. If you can't do that, then I'd rather we were over and finished now rather than go on to a more painful parting later on. I've done the painful parting bit quite recently, and it isn't much fun."
"Oh, we have a deal. I can understand that. When do you want to check what I've kept?"
"As soon as possible. I do want to be over this Dave. I don't know either where we're going. But I was rather enjoying getting there."
"Can we kiss to seal the deal?"
"Yes, but only a kiss. I've got to get home to bed. I got all the way home just now and turned round at the gate to come here instead."
So we kissed. A little tentatively to start with. But the second one had more passion in it, and by the fourth one we seemed to be back on track. Then she broke away. "When you've sorted out your video's."
"Where are they, by the way?"
"Still back at Beth's. Tim got back just as we were packing up. He seemed rather keen to return them to you himself, later."
"I bet he did. Dirty old bugger."
"Remember he's your boss."
And with that and one more, no three more kisses, she was gone.
I went back to bed feeling a hundred times happier.
The next morning I came into my desk and logged onto my email. The first one was from Tim, 'Have you seen Davinia yet?'
I quickly replied, 'Yes, last night, or this morning in the early hours to be accurate. I think we might be back on track. But I need the films, and I understand you're holding those.'
No sooner had I sent it than I received, 'Yes, I must give them back to you some time.'
'As soon as possible. And I don't want the covers stuck together. My future sex life depends on me sorting them out.' I typed and sent.
'Well, I've got them here. I must sort them out some time in the next 2 or 3 days. Is Monday any good to you?' Pinged into my mail box.
The bastard! He was sitting up there at his desk playing with me. I headed for his office, walking straight passed Davinia without a word.
He was standing at his desk with my holdall in front of him, beaming happily, and staring at his watch. "That's five seconds longer than I was expecting from your desk. You really should go to the gym more often, Dave." He smiled sweetly as I took the bag.
But then I relaxed. "You bastard! Tell Beth I owe her, really do thank her for me. She's a wise woman you've got there. And I suppose I should thank you. But you're still a bastard." I smiled
"Anything to keep a happy office. And being a bastard is a boss's privilege. Now get back to work, and stop wandering around the office with dirty films, you pervert." he smiled.
I didn't go to the pub that Friday, which was a rarity for me. Actually, I saw Davinia head that way with a bunch of the others, and I thought it would be a bit embarrassing to be there without us being together. So I went home to start watching and sorting the films.
God! Thirty one DVD's is a hell of a lot of viewing. It takes forever. I was just loading them up and watching them enough to understand the full context and attitude in each scene before I moved on, but it still took forever. I broke off to get myself something to eat and to open a bottle of decent beer. But, other than for that, I did nothing but watch sex scenes from about seven o'clock right through to one o'clock the next morning. And I still wasn't finished.
I got up at seven o'clock on Saturday and went on with my task. Eventually, at about eleven thirty I finished. I made myself a decent cup of coffee and sat down to check the final piles. I had rejected fourteen films, and was keeping seventeen. Then I looked again at the ones I was keeping, and there were three in there that I actually didn't like. I noticed a couple of films that I knew I hadn't watched in at least two years, so I threw them out as well.
I also realised that I'd found a couple of old favourites that I simply hadn't watched for ages. As they had passed the Davinia Test, I looked forward to watching them again sometime, possibly on the bedroom TV, with Davinia in the bed with me. I wonder if I can push her that far? It's a long way to come from total rejection out of hand, to using them as the basis of a bit of bedtime fun.
I phoned Davinia, "Hi, it's me."
"How's it going?" she asked.
"It's gone, so to speak. I've been through them all, and thrown out all those that I think are unfit for you to see. And you were right, a lot of the films don't seem to have any respect for the women, although the women are giving absolutely everything."
"So, why did you like them? No, don't answer that, I'd like to hear you tell me that when we meet."
"Well, how about I tell you that at seven thirty this evening in Not Steinbeck's. Please?"
