Teaching Her A Lesson
Part Seven: Collaborative Learning
"Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays!"
The look I gave Mrs. Cook-Burfield, almost knocked her back a step.
"You know, like the movie?
Office Space
?" She smiled apologetically. "Sorry. You just look... you know. Tired. But who wouldn't, right? Thirty-some Mondays in and all. Geez, maybe
I
have a case of the Mondays."
After a moment, I forced a smile. "Yeah. Sorry, long weekend, but I still don't feel ready for the week. One of those, eh?"
"One of those. Hang in there, Mr. Canon."
"Yeah. You have a good one, Amy."
It was 6:45 when I let myself into my classroom that morning, fifteen minutes earlier than usual. I wasn't surprised to see my department head here this early. She'd only inherited the position last year and practically had a complex about proving herself. She was on the benefits committee, the extracurricular committee, hiring committee, PTA, and co-coached Academic Super Bowl. Somehow the woman even managed to raise a kid and keep a husband. Whenever I felt overwhelmed, I thanked my lucky stars I hadn't been afflicted by whatever ambition plagued Mrs. Cook-Burfield.
I hadn't been lying to her, either. It really had been a long weekend, and I really wasn't ready for the week. Candy, Isa and I had met in the kitchen to figure out how to deal with our little blackmailing issue, though we'd wound up letting the girls in on it in the end anyway. Better than leaving them huffing and grumbling by their lonesomes in the living room, pouting at being ignored. I'd bid them a grudging but thorough goodbye once we were as ready as we could be. Taylor, who'd hardly said a word since we'd scraped her body off the floor, ran to their car the moment she was given permission. Abbie practically begged me to give her a turn, but between finally getting off and the cloud of judgment Officer Barbour had brought to bear on the proceedings, I was having misgivings about the whole thing.
As for Isa and Candy, the former refused to discuss the subject of what she'd walked in on or the ensuing tasing (a "mild" one, she insisted); the latter made it plain that she blamed me without expressing a single word. I supposed it was up to them to handle it, at least for now. If they couldn't fix things, maybe I could try to find a way to intervene -- this time,
without
the Serenex.
After all, despite Isa's best efforts at researching it using her police resources, she hadn't turned up much. There was no mention of deliberately inducing the mind-altering effects we'd unwittingly discovered in their archives. Her thoughts were that considering how probable it was that spraying a crowd with the stuff would end with some of it being inadvertently ingested, she speculated that it was possible the canister I'd purchased had an impurity or defect. Common enough with black market drug purchases, or so she said. There was always the possibility of having the chemists in the regional crime lab run a test on it, but she warned that could raise red flags, force her to answer questions about where she'd gotten it, to say nothing of the possibility of not getting it back. For now, we'd hold off. For now.
As to the question of the duration of the effect, what she'd found was only marginally less useful. Serenex suppressed the fight or flight system in the brain, while the influx of its chemical compound damaged that portion of the brain in the process. In effect, it meant that the memories of being dosed couldn't produce those responses either. (I'd given Taylor props for applying the metaphor of a scar over the brain's panic button. Not perfect, but considering the source...) We had no way of knowing if that would extend to the added mind-altering effect, but it was cause for hope, at least.
(And yes, I recognized that having Abbie think of herself as my fuck buddy for the rest of her life was problematic in all sorts of ways, but it was preferable to having her wake up one morning and decide to stuff me in a trunk.)
Our business concluded, then it was home to do laundry, prep the week's lunches, and finish grading my juniors' tests over our read of
Night
. It was quite the transition, from the most intense sexual encounter of my life to assigning grades on a 5-point scale for responses to a Holocaust memoir.
It would make today easier, at least. My seniors and I would be transitioning out of that weighty subject matter with the help of a three-day viewing of
Toy Story 3
. They didn't believe me yet about its status as a Holocaust allegory, but they'd come around as their predecessors had in years past. My juniors were working on assessing bias in the media, so I filled the morning looking for a few different takes on some current events and headed down to the photocopier.
When Ms. Salata walked past me to check her mailbox on her way into the building, we nodded hellos to one another and went about our business. Nobody can know about my relationship with the Stern girls, and it only made sense to extend that rationale to Candy. Play it casual. Don't think about what she'd looked like spreading herself for me in the shower. Just keep collating. Get through the day.
One day a few years back, I'd dropped a marker while writing the day's standards on the board before school. When I bent to pick it up, I then managed to split my pants down the back. Too embarrassed to explain my predicament to anyone so I could get somebody to cover for me, I'd had no choice but to ride it out. Until lunch, I'd had to teach sitting in my chair at my desk. Then during my lunch period, I wrapped my jacket around my waist and darted home to change. It had been some of the most intense anxiety of my life. I'd been on edge for hours, knowing that if anyone found out, it would be all over school in minutes and take years to live down.
Today made that memory feel comical by comparison. Having even one person out there in the world who knew what I'd done -- one who wasn't part of our pact of secrecy, that is -- made it feel like anyone and everyone else might, too. I'd texted them to promise payment this evening, and they'd assured me they'd be in contact with instructions. No word as yet. Every minute I didn't hear from them was a minute closer to discovery.
"Oh my god, Mr. Canon! You're the worst!" exclaimed Billie during second period. My head jerked up from the essays I'd been grading at my desk. Oh no. Who'd told her?! How had she found out?! I should kick her out of class, send her to the office before she could tell everyone that--
"You guys, look, the toys are stuck hiding in the attic -- it's all Ann Frank and everything! You have ruined this movie for me!" Billie chided, laughing.
"No freaking way!"
"That's kind of a stretch, don't you think?"
"No, but look -- then they get sent off to the daycare, which is like a labor camp, right?"
"Dude!"
I shushed them and let the movie play on, my heart slowly sinking back down out of my throat and into its proper place.
Don't faint, Canon. You're not a pussy.
I made sure I hadn't peed my pants. Nope. Solid.
Needless to say, the grading wasn't going very expeditiously.
By the time sixth period rolled around, my final class of the day, I was feeling a bit better. In part, I had the girls to thank. Right before lunch, I saw Abbie in the hall leaving her own English class, but she ignored me altogether except to give me a dirty look when I lost sight of myself and stared a little too hard. Nobody seemed to notice, though. But a few minutes later as I flipped open my lunchbox, my phone buzzed in my pocket. It was her, texting a picture of her shirt lifted over her bra in a bathroom stall.
NOW u can stare :P c u soon!