Tantalus in Chains

CHAPTER SIX: Unmasked

I spent the rest of the day trying to talk myself out of it. I rearranged all of the reasons against it. Never mind the fact that my body screamed for his touch, or that I was undeniably in love with him. Never mind the fact that every orgasm I'd experienced in the past six months had been accompanied by his feverishly whispered name. Zack was so young, and if I slept with him, it would be taking advantage, especially now that he was emotionally vulnerable from Jenn. He needed me to be his guide, his older sister, not just some girl he fucked.

He was suddenly knocking softly at my door. My breath caught at his twilit body on the threshold of my apartment. I didn't bother to hide the expression on my face. It was kind of pointless now.

He grinned and came in. "So... I didn't park my truck anywhere near here," he said. "Figured people would gossip."

I reluctantly closed the door behind him. "Zack, don't you think maybe this is kind of... crazy?"

"How long have you wanted me?" he asked.

My face was flaming. "Do I really have to answer that?"

"If you want me to pretend like I should seriously consider walking out of here without touching you, then yeah."

I raised an eyebrow. "I never said anything about not touching me."

He stepped closer. The tension between us was palpable. He trailed his fingers across my forearm, then stroked his thumb underneath it. He watched my eyes darken with desire.

"How long?" he asked again, this time without the playfulness. "I barely touch you, and your whole body responds to me... how long have you been hiding this?"

I raised his hand to my lips, his rough skin chafing against the sensitive, throbbing nerve endings. His eyes burned into mine. "Too long," I finally said.

I dropped his hand and turned away. "Look, Zack, I can't lie to you. I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone, but I don't know if this is right."

"It can't be wrong to want something," he said, his voice soft. "It's not what you want, but what you do that's wrong or right."

I turned to look at him, surprised that he wasn't just trying to seduce me. "That's kind of my point," I said. "I don't want to do something that is wrong, especially if it will hurt you. I don't just want you. I love you."

His eyes widened slightly, and I rushed to qualify my statement before he could run screaming out the door. "I've watched you struggle with burden after burden, watched you be ignored and undervalued, watched you come out on top against all odds... how could I not love you? You need someone to be there for you, someone uncomplicated."

He was quiet for what seemed an eternity as he thought about what I said. "You have never been uncomplicated, Miss Martin," he finally replied.

I sighed, disappointment creeping in despite the fact that I knew it was for the best that he leave. "So I guess you understand what I'm saying to you."

His eyes flickered fire at me. "You're scared that we're going to do this and I'm not going to need you anymore."

"It's not that simple," I hastily defended myself. "You need someone who doesn't always want something from you. Someone who can take care of you."

I trailed off at the dangerous look in his eyes. Maybe that was what I needed to be to him, I realized abruptly. Maybe this had never been about him, or not entirely. I had been forcing myself to believe he was a child in need of my protection. But I had to admit Zack was not a child. He had never been a child since I knew him. He carried the full responsibilities of a man.

Before I could retract my statement, he spoke. "But you DO always want something from me. Do you think I can live with that, with knowing that you're sacrificing yourself out of some crazy idea that you'll corrupt me, that you have to protect me? I can take care of myself."

I didn't answer.

He sighed. "You've done everything for me... everything. I owe you more than my life. You want me to go, I'll go." He stepped close to me and tilted my chin up. "Tell me what you want," he said. "Just tell me."

I finally allowed myself the luxury of stroking his lips with my thumbs. The smooth ridges of his mouth slid under my skin. He stood unmoving, waiting for me to speak, but his eyes pulsed with his own growing desire. "You," I finally said. "I want you."

He kissed my thumbs, then my forehead. He captured my face between his hands and slowly lowered his head. His kiss was deep and frantic, a kiss that only intensified the need pulsing through me. I clung to him, helpless against the flood of emotions that rose to meet the urgency of his breath mingling with mine. He lifted me onto the countertop, and the solid sensation of his body between my thighs made me tremble.

He was kissing my neck again, and then he was moving his mouth lower. He slid his fingers underneath the back clasp of my bra, and I arched my back in surprised pleasure. I blushed when I realized that I had basically pressed my breasts into his face.

He looked up at me playfully. "You could have just asked."

"Sorry," I giggled. "You were taking too long."

His smile deepened. "I filled out all those damn standardized test forms for you. The least you can do is let me take my time."

He moved his fingers delicately, and I arched my back again, tightening my own hands on the fabric of his shirt. "God, Zack, that feels amazing."

He answered by brushing his mouth over the exposed skin just above my shirt. It was a v-neck shirt that stopped just above my cleavage, one that wasn't obscenely low but definitely lower than I had ever worn to school. I shivered and twined my fingers in his hair, pressing him against me. He flicked his tongue just beneath the collar of my shirt as he jerked his thumbs hard over my back.

My whole body spasmed in response. He was looking at me with that teasing light in his eyes that always drove me insane. "I had no idea you were such a tease," I finally managed.

"I thought you knew me so well, too. Can't say that I'm too surprised by you, though. I always thought you'd be a hair puller."

I blushed and disentangled my hands.

"I didn't say I don't like it," he added, pushing his lower lip out into a pout.

"That's adorable. You know, if you were just a little cuter, that lip sticking out would be irresistible."

His eyes travelled down from my face to my breasts, and my face flushed as I realized he could see more of my cleavage than he had ever seen before.

He swore softly, and his breath tickled my skin. He lowered his mouth to mine again, quickening his hands on my body. I stood on tiptoe to press tighter against him, tucking my thumbs into the belt loops on the back of his jeans. My thumbs brushed his back, and I suddenly needed to touch his bare skin. I tugged his shirt upwards, which was not as easy as it sounds considering I was still melting into his kiss. My palms drank in the firm smoothness of his back, then began wandering other palces. When my hands brushed the gentle swell of his chest, I broke from his mouth, gasping as I looked at his nearly-naked torso. He had the body of a god, if there were any gods with broad shoulders and not-quite toned stomachs.

He shrugged his shirt the rest of the way off, and then he looked at me. He laughed at the look on my face, a sharp, surprised laugh. "Are you ogling me?"

I attempted to blink my eyes innocently. "No?"

"You do realize that's what I was going to do to you when I finally got that shirt off of you?"

"Sorry." I didn't sound at all sorry as my eyes flickered over his body. "Holy God, I could look at you forever."

He started to make some snide comment, but he stopped midsentence when I pressed my lips against his neck. I flattened my palms over his chest. His skin was impossibly smooth under my hands. I dragged my mouth lower, flicking my tongue between his pecs. I slid my hands around to his back pressing his body closer to me as I moved my head lower, feeling the soft firmness of his abs beneath my lips. He had gone very still, and I glanced up at his face. His eyes were two smoldering coals beneath drooping lids. I flicked my tongue into his belly button, and he shuddered underneath me.

It was like something in him snapped. He pulled my face to his and kissed me hard and quick, then brought his lips down to my neck with a series of frantic kisses that he began to trail lower and lower, covering all of my exposed skin. My body was on fire for him.

He tugged at my shirt, and I finally managed to pull it the rest of the way off. His thumbs moved restlessly on my waist as he stared at my exposed skin. I watched his eyes trace the contours of my powder blue satin bra.

He pressed a gentle kiss on each breast, and then he looked at me. "Do the panties match?"

I blushed, too breathless to respond.

"Guess there's one way to find out. You're incredibly sexy when you're modest, you know that?" He was unbuttoning my jeans. "I used to say things on purpose so you would blush."

"No fair." I pouted.

"What's not fair is how you blink those big baby blue eyes at me and get whatever you want."

I giggled. "Is that really all I have to do?"

"Pretty much."

I batted my eyes. "Kiss me."

He brushed his lips gently over mine, barely touching me. I pulled his face down and kissed him harder, gently nipping his lower lip. He pulled back long enough to push my jeans from my hips to the floor, and then he recaptured my mouth. He kissed me hard and deep, plunging his tongue between my lips. I knew I was pulling his hair again, and he kissed me harder.

When he stopped kissing me, I was breathless. He was smirking at me. "It doesn't work quite that well if you ask me to do something I don't want to do."

I tried for a witty comeback, but came up short. My bare skin was surrounded by his, and the sweet, sharp scent of him was achingly delicious. He looked down at me with warm eyes. "Do you have to smell so good?" I murmured.

"It's just something I have to deal with every day."

His jeans were cool and comforting against my bare legs. Zack stepped back and let his eyes rove over me, a deep, slow fire kindling in his eyes as he satisfied his curiosity about my matching bra and panties. No man had ever looked at me quite that way before.

"What?" I asked.

He put his hands on my arms, stroking gently. "I'm not sure how I kept from fucking you on your desk today."

I shivered as his hands crept higher. He hooked his thumbs underneath the straps of my bra and began tugging them gently down. He lowered his head and I thought he was going to kiss my shoulder, but instead he blew soft, warm air that made me gasp.

He pulled me tight against him as his hands trailed to work on the clasp of my bra. My face was pressed against his chest. "I used to fantasize about that," he murmured into my ear as he pulled ineffectively against the hooks at my back. "You'd be talking about Keats or Shakespeare or some shit, and I would imagine just getting out of my seat, carrying you back to your desk, and laying you out on top of it."

"God, Zack," I gasped.

He managed to undo the clasp. I pulled his head down and kissed him as I shrugged my bra off, letting it slide to the floor. My breasts ached for his touch as they pressed into his skin. He pulled away to look at me. His eyes softened, flickering restlessly over the tightening buds of my nipples.

Sudden hesitation crept into his eyes, like he wasn't sure he should touch me.

It almost killed me, but I managed to say, "Zack... you don't have to do this. You know that right?"

He just looked at me.

I continued. "I don't want you to do something you don't want to do. I mean... I'm older than you... I'll understand if you don't want me."

He looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. Then he laughed. "You really have no idea how many times I've imagined actually looking at you naked, how many times I've wanted to touch you this way. It's like... what do you do when your fantasy comes true?"

He had expressed my feelings perfectly, and my heart throbbed with something deeper than desire. "I don't know," I finally admitted.

He sank down on the couch looking bewildered. I came to sit beside him and he pulled me onto his lap. He rested his hands on my waist, stroking restlessly up and down. I realized abruptly that he wasn't repulsed by my appearance. He was nervous. It made me want to hold him closer, to reassure him. I kissed him deeply, trying to express everything I felt about him without using the words I knew would fail me. He let me take charge, responding to my lips but not controlling the kiss.

He began moving his fingertips in teasing circles across my stomach, edging closer to my breasts but never touching them. My kiss became more urgent as he teased me, and I turned slightly in his arms to straddle him. I could feel his hardness pressing into my thigh through his jeans.

I broke the kiss, my heart in my throat. He pressed a series of teasing kisses just above my breasts, his hands still moving maddeningly close. "Zack..." I managed to gasp.

"What is it?" His voice was husky.

"I need you," I said. "God, I need you to touch me."

His face tightened with his own need, a need that quickly transformed into mischief. "I am touching you."

I swore. "Don't be such a little prick."

"It's not little," he smirked, a touch of his arrogance returning. "But I guess you'll find out soon enough."

A frustrated cross between a sigh and a scream escaped me. "I hope you realize you're going to pay for this later."

"That's completely unfair. I'm doing what you asked. Where do you want me to touch you? You always said for us to give you details, and you're being really nondescriptive."

I just glared at him.

"Here?" he asked, brushing his thumb along the bottom of my breast. My body uncoiled towards him as he withdrew his hand.

"Or maybe here?" He stroked his other thumb across my left nipple. I felt it give under his thumb, then spring back to its original position.

I managed to bat my eyes at him. "If you spend one more second torturing me, I am going to get up off this couch and put my clothes back on."

"Fuck that." He pinned me to him with one hand, and he cupped the other one just above my right breast. A heartbeat later, he closed the space between his hand and my aching flesh. The shock of my gratified desire jolted my whole body. The look of savage passion on his face echoed the hunger I felt for him. He squeezed slowly, savoring the way my breast felt in his hand. A slow, deep throb in my pussy answered his touch. He started kneading the flesh faster, more firmly, and his other hand cupped my left breast.

I moaned for him, and he looked at me in surprise. "It feels that good?" he asked. His innocence was unexpectedly disarming.

I kissed him on the forehead. "I've wanted this for so long... I never thought that if it really happened, it would be better than I imagined."

He looked shocked. "You imagined this? Really?"

I blushed suddenly. Then I confessed about the Halloween Blowpop.

For once, he was blushing. "Wow. I wasn't messing with you on purpose."

"I know. But I couldn't stop thinking about your mouth on my body." I traced his lips with my thumb. "You have the most sensual mouth, Zack. Everything about you is sensual. I can't believe you would seriously think I wouldn't be putty in your hands."

The look on his face told me what he was going to do just an instant before he did it. He darted forward and took my nipple in his mouth. Even prepared, I was blown away by the sensation. He held my nipple inside his mouth, then flicked it with his tongue. He repeated the motion faster, again, then again. His eyes promised screaming pleasure. I shuddered just before he captured my nipple between his teeth. My gasp became a moan, and then he resumed his teasing flicks of the tongue. His other hand moved restlessly on my breast, my stomach, my back.

My eyes were beginning to roll back into my head when he stopped. It was a physical pain to lose his mouth on my body. "God, don't stop," I said. I felt ridiculous. That was the kind of thing I tried never to say during sex because it was just so—

He pressed a kiss against the valley between my breasts, and I forgot to finish my thought. "You're close, aren't you?" he murmured against my flesh.

I was. Oh my God, I hadn't even realized it, but I was just seconds shy of an explosive orgasm, and I wasn't even completely naked yes. "Yes," I said. "You are so damned good at this."

He grinned up at me. "Show me how good," he said, and then he captured my other breast in his mouth. All the blood in my body felt like liquid gold as it throbbed through my veins, gold that Zack was melting and melting and melting.

My back began a slow arch, Zack pressing closer to me as he sucked and nipped my breasts. I didn't mean to at first, but my pelvis began rolling sinuously forward until my clit bumped his hardness. He growled against my skin.

I stiffened as if bracing myself for an attack. I uttered his name, a surprised whisper. It was like there was something I wanted to tell him, but couldn't find the words. He knew what it was, or at least his body did. He rocked his hips forward as he sucked hard on the tender flesh in his mouth. Without any real warning, I came. I felt defenseless as the orgasm crashed over me. I twined my arms around his neck, holding onto him as he brought me the satisfaction I'd wanted for so long, gasping his name over and over as I rode the waves of pleasure. Barely conscious of what I was doing, I rolled sideways to lie on my back, pulling him down with me.