Diary of a Young Slut

April 4, 2007

Donny and I are going to get married right after graduation. Our parents are very happy. I think I am. I'm happy that we will be able to make love. After nearly four years, I still can't forget that intensely erotic feeling I had when the policemen took me. I want to experience that feeling again. So, so much! But with Donny, like a Christian wife. Not like a Negro and his whore.

The awful thing is, I keep looking at those pictures of me with that silly cop hat sitting backwards on my head and the cop belt dangling half down my hips and Mike's badge pinned through breast.

But mostly, I guess, I stare at the cops. The shots of the two new cops masturbating with their sex posed inches from my open mouth. Or the ones of me smiling stupidly while they're ejaculating on my face and boobs. But I stare longest at the ones of Ramal and Mike holding my legs open while I push the nightstick deep inside of me. In one Mike is pointing at his badge pinned through the width of my nipple with a big grin on his face. In another, Ramal is behind me with his enormous black sex lying on my shoulder. I've turned my head to lick it. And then there's the awful last one, where I seem to be posing with my legs spread open and shoulders thrown back to emphasize my breasts, while cupping the boob with the badge in it as if to display it. I look like a slut in utter sexual ecstasy.

When I'm though looking, I'm often wet. What is wrong with me?

September 18, 2007

We've been married three months now but we still haven't made love. It was my nineteenth birthday yesterday, so I thought for sure we would do it last night, but we didn't. Donny needs to pray over it more. He says we can't do it out of lust. It has to be to procreate, like the bible says. I am so, so frustrated! I want to feel like a woman.

He wants to go to Divinity school and learn to preach. But he has to find a part-time job first.

September 24, 2007

Donny couldn't find a decent part-time job, but he did get a full-time job at a corporate real estate firm here in town. He is going to write advertisements and train as a salesman. He's a pretty good writer. The sermons he writes for school are good, anyway. He says he'll take night classes or correspondence courses to get his degree. I don't know if he'll be a good salesman, though. He's kind of timid.

September 25, 2007

We finally made love. We did it with the lights off and our nightclothes on, though. It was over so quickly. It isn't what I hoped it would be. I didn't experience that feeling like with the policemen. I cried afterwards.

I didn't know Donny would be so very small. I guess he couldn't tell I wasn't a virgin. There's that at least.

October 6, 2007

Donny has only made love to me that one time. I am getting so frustrated. I mean so many guys look at me when I'm out shopping, and some of them even follow me around the store. Like twice this week guys have just been openly flirting with me, and one has asked me if I "date," even though he could see I was married. I would never, ever be unfaithful, but I'm starting to like the excitement of all those guys looking at me. I don't know why Donny isn't aroused like those other guys are. It's very frustrating. Like I'm not a real woman.

October 12, 2007

I bring Donny his lunch everyday at work. I think people make fun of us because we say grace in his cubical. Donny likes us to get on our knees when we do it. It kind of embarrasses me, but I do it for him anyway.

The receptionist there is named Brooke. She's the only woman in the office, and she dresses like a total slut, if you ask me. Sometimes when I'm eating lunch with Donny, she will come in and just flirt openly with him. She's always half undressed, but Clint, the man who owns the business, doesn't seem to mind at all. I don't worry cause I know I have a much better body than her and am prettier, too. And Donny would never be unfaithful anyway.

Clint is a really interesting man. I've only met him twice, so I don't really know him, but he's really intriguing. He seems just so very assertive and confident. He's in his late forties, I guess, but still quite handsome in a rugged sort of way. Not at all like Donny, who is also attractive, but more "cute," I guess, than manly.

The way Clint looked at me the last Wednesday actually made me quiver. He has a way of asking things without asking, if you know what I mean. He's obviously a man who's been with many women. I don't think many women would say no to him! He's married, but I'm sure he sleeps with Brooke anytime he wants. But who doesn't, really? I bet everybody does. I just know she's a slut. I can tell by looking at her. I really like Clint, though. He's a real gentleman.

I'm kinda bored.

October 17, 2007

Donny told me today that we got invited to a party at Clint's house on Friday. I'm so exited. Donny thinks he's the only one of the new hires that Clint invited. That's kind of flattering, I think. I wonder if that's true.

One weird thing, though. Last Friday, Brook stopped me as I was leaving Donny's office and said just the strangest thing to me. Right out of the blue she said, "Clint has taken an interest in you, little Christian girl, and you know he always takes what interests him," and smirked and walked away.

I was completely startled. I didn't know for absolute sure what she meant by that, but I could kinda guess. It had a curious effect on me, a little frightening, but a teeny bit exciting, too. It must mean he admires me. I hope for more than just my looks. But then how could he? He really doesn't know me. Oh well. It's just too hard to figure out.

Donny and I have only made love that one time so far. I wonder if it's something bad about me. I try to tell him I want to, but he just seems to ignore it. I mean I can't just like walk up to him naked. I would if he wouldn't get all upset, though. It would be fun.

October 20, 2007

Clint's party is still playing out in my head. I don't think I behaved like I should have. I feel very guilty.

I had wanted to buy something new and attractive and maybe just a teeny little bit "sexy" for the party, but I knew Donny would be offended, so I wore a modest silk dress that I've had for ages. I chose it because it's the only outfit I have that even hints that there's an attractive body underneath it. I could tell that even this much sexuality bothered my husband, though.

As it turns out, I guess he was right to worry. But I have been so frustrated with Donny, and I just wanted to be looked at, you know, like a woman. That's all, just looked at and appreciated!

My frustration with Donny must have made me very susceptible to the Devil's temptation that night. That's the only way I can explain what happened, except maybe that there's just something wrong with me.

I guess I wasn't really surprised when Clint asked me to dance. Not after what Brooke had told me. I kind of expected it, actually. Maybe even looked forward to it. I don't know. I know I kind of rehearsed what I would do if he did ask. I would be very cool and sophisticated, and he would be just so impressed with me as a woman. That's not quite what happened though.

I really like to dance, but never get the chance to because Donny thinks it's not right. So when Clint asked me, I looked over at Donny to ask with my eyes if it was okay, and he just sort of nodded in what I hoped was permission. He didn't look too happy about it, however.

If I had known what was to happen next, though, I probably wouldn't have agreed to dance with him. Most of all, I'm so dismayed at my reaction to it all. I need to pray about it, I know.

I keep asking myself why, when Clint steered me over to a corner of the room and after a few minutes of very innocent dancing and chatting, very slowly and very deliberately and with absolutely no encouragement from me began to feel my body through my dress, I didn't at least resist in some way. But I just didn't. I did ask him what his wife would think, but he just laughed at my apparent naivete. After that, I didn't say another word or in anyway indicate that he should stop. It kind of hurt to be laughed at like I was some stupid little girl.

Since I didn't want to be embarrassed that way again, I just let his hands play wherever they wished after that. I was pretty tense at first, and I know he could tell, but it didn't make him stop. Why should he? He had never asked my permission in the first place. He is a remarkably confident man. It's just like what Brooke said, he just takes what he wants. And I guess he wanted me.

Maybe I wanted him to want me.

As much as I hate to say it, that might be true, because after a few tense minutes, I felt myself start to relax and just let what happened happen. And to my surprise, slowly but surely, I began to feel that wonderful tingle beginning to grow inside me, the exact feeling I had had with those strange policemen. I didn't want it to end this time.

Even though he was being pretty discrete about the way he was touching me, I could see others beginning to watch as his hands mapped the roundness of my hips and briefly encircled my petite waist as he pulled me closer to him. I glanced over anxiously at my husband when his hands descended to the contours of my bottom and, cupping it, pulled my body even tighter to him.

Fortunately, Donny was talking to an older man who had steered him into a corner with his back to me. I felt very tense and awkward at first when Clint pulled me so close, but then I just gave in completely. I closed my eyes tightly, put my head down on his shoulder and melted into his body.

Almost instantly, at my apparent encouragement, he began to fondle my breasts and caress my nipples through the dress with his fingers. I felt my self start to tense up again, but I tried this time to relax again. When his hands began to gently stroked the flatness of my tummy, I was certain that most of those dancing near us were aware of what Clint was doing to me, and when he gently lowered his hands to trace the outlines of my vagina, I glanced quickly around and saw that I was right. A number of Donny's coworkers and their wives were watching intently. Still, I made no effort to stop him.

God, I know I should have stopped him then, I just know I should have, but sadly, I no longer cared who was watching. All that mattered was that tingling in my belly that had now grown to encompass my whole body. I molded myself to him and moaned gently into his ear. I desperately wanted the seed those policemen had planted in me that night to bloom at last.

To my credit, I did whisper "Please, no" when he began again to fondle my breasts. I'm certain it didn't seem very convincing, though. After that, I said absolutely nothing as he expertly enveloped my breast, though I'm sure my quickening breath and stiffening nipples spoke volumes.

"Brooke was right, Temple," he whispered in my ear as he turned to walk me back to my husband with his hand on my bottom. "You have a beautiful body. I want to see it. I want you to come to the office. Call Brooke and make arrangements. I want it to be soon."

Oh God, what incredible confidence this man has, I thought, as he handed me back to my husband. I didn't talk to Clint for the rest of the evening, but I was so aware of his presence. I could feel the touch of his hands on my body the whole night. I knew I should have said something more during all of the time he was fondling me, should have at least suggested some resistance. But I didn't. At that moment, I was his and I guess he knew it.

To he honest, he probably could have taken me right then. It's horrible to say, I know, but it's true. I don't know what has become of me. I just don't know who I am anymore. For the first time since that night with the policemen, I felt that stirring in my belly, that vague promise of a pleasure that I had never yet experienced. Oh God, I want it so much!!!! I am so awful.

October 23, 2007

Over the weekend, I had firmly decided that it would be impossible for me to do what Clint wanted. I'm a married, Christian woman. The horrid thing, of course, was that I actually had to talk myself out of it. You see, I really did want him to see me, see me nude, to appreciate my body. My husband has never seen me totally undressed. In fact, the only people who have ever seen me nude were the policemen on that strange night. I thought about standing nude in front of Clint so much, and the vision of myself being admired by this man was so intriguing, so alluring, that I had to fight myself to repel the thoughts. Vanity is such a terrible, terrible sin. But I know I have a really nice body, and I did so much want Clint to see it because I knew he would appreciate it. He's so sophisticated. It's not like he would be a lecher or anything. I just knew he wouldn't be. He'd able to appreciate the pure beauty of my body.

I lasted until yesterday, Monday, before I called

Anyway, here's the compromise I made with myself. I would go to his office, but I wouldn't let him undress me. He could touch me, though, like he did when we were dancing. Yes, I know that is a sin, too, but I just couldn't say no totally. And he wouldn't be actually touching my flesh.

I called Brooke and made an appointment to see Clint. I could hear the smirk in her voice when she called back to tell me that Clint would see me that afternoon. I told Donny that Clint wanted to see me to ask about some gifts he was buying for his wife. Donny seemed to like that. I think it made him feel important that Clint wanted his wife's advice.

I was very nervous, understandably so, I think, walking into Clint's office, especially because one wall of the room is one-way glass, and I could see everyone in the office. Even though I knew they couldn't see me, it was still nerve wracking. But Clint was quick to ease my fears. He just smiled as I walked in and told me how beautiful I looked and how glad he was that I'd come. He gave me a hug and a gentle kiss on the cheek. He was as cool and sophisticated as I knew he would be.

"I'm very pleased you've come, Temple. Brooke thought you might. I wasn't sure," he said, delicately brushing the outside of my breasts with his fingertips. A great shiver of anticipation surged down my spine, but i vowed this was as far as it would go.

Stepping slightly back from me, he began slowly but quite confidently to unbutton my blouse while telling me again, how "pleased, honored, really" he felt that I had come to visit with him and show him my "incredibly sensual" body.

I was just completely stunned at his assurance, his confidence that I had come to show him my body, and totally shocked at my own response. As I said, that was not my plan. Not at all. Yet, I stood there and let him continue to undress me. He never asked my permission. He just assumed that that was what I was there for. As for myself and my "resolve," I never offered even a hint of resistance, either physically or orally. I just stood there and let him do what he wanted. I just cannot believe I let him do that.

But I did.

Having gently removed my blouse, he walked to his desk, turned, and said that he'd like for me to take off the rest of my things. Over my shoulder, I could clearly see the staff calmly going about their business, and now Clint wanted me to undress myself in what I couldn't help but think was right in front of the entire office.

This was going to be harder to do. Much harder. In my earlier fantasies, before I had decided against it entirely, I had really assumed he would undress me, if it came to that. I could deal with that, I thought, but this was so blatant. Like I was admitting that I was his. That I was just one of the common sluts he used. I really did not want to be one of his tramps. I wanted to be special. But nevertheless, for some strange reason I couldn't disobey. I did exactly what he told me to. I unfastened my skirt and squeezed myself out of it, letting it puddle at my feet. I stood before him in nothing but bra, panties, and heels. I was stunned at my behavior. I had become utterly wanton. Utterly.

"The bra, please, Temple," he said simply, and the way he said it made any resistance seem almost ridiculous.

To my credit, I hesitated a moment, but then, closing my eyes, I did exactly what he asked, exactly what he knew I would do. Reaching behind me, I unclasped my bra and pulled it from my shoulders, though for some reason I continued to hold it beside me.

"Temple," Clint smiled. "I've never seen breasts so beautiful, so full and so flawlessly shaped. Brooke has great tits, as everyone knows, but she bought hers," he said chuckling. "I know. I paid for them. Yours are perfectly natural, and I do mean 'perfect.' Why do you keep them covered? Now the panties, sweetie."

I loved that he appreciated the difference between Brooke's implants and my natural development. That was very "special." And I must admit that I did so much want him to see me nude and to appreciate all that, as he said, had been hidden, but this would be impossible to do. I just could not do this final thing.

Clint seemed to sense this, and taking a small penknife from his desk, he walked over and expertly slit the sides of my panties and let them fall to the floor. I was now, finally, totally nude! And as excited as I'd ever been in my life. He was the first man to have seen me nude since the policemen. And this was so, so different!

"Magnificent," was all he said, as he stared at me in earnest admiration for some time, asking me to turn slowly so that he could "drink in the entirety of my beautiful body." It was the perfect thing to say. Even though I know I'm attractive, like all women, I've always been kinda ashamed about how I look totally nude. I have really nice hips and bottom, but I'm rather slim and as a result my boobs look disproportionately large to the rest of my body. And it is my breasts that always attracted attention, so I really did need to be put at ease. "Don't you think that maybe my boobs are too big for my body?" I asked nervously.

Clint just laughed out loud, and taking my breasts in his hands said, "You do have large breasts, Temple, but no man is ever going to say a woman has too much tit!" laughing again and squeezing my breasts provocatively. Then, touching my chin lightly, he tilted my head up and kissed me.

It was just so perfect. It wasn't gross or vulgar, but in its simplicity, it was intensely passionate, leaving me light headed but ardently alert. When his hands dropped to cup my sex, I simply collapsed into his arms.

I was surprised that he didn't comment on the fact that I was shaved, even when he began to caress me down there. Obviously, he was just so much more sophisticated. To him, I guess it just seemed perfectly natural, just like it did to me. It's funny how comfortable I felt then. It was just like I thought it would be. He could appreciate the pure beauty of my body without making it ugly or lustful.

"You look like a living Barbie doll, Temple, absolute perfection," he said, moving now to thoroughly explore my body. The touch of his hand on the side of my breast was electric, sending tremors of pleasure deep into the most sensuous parts of my quickly yielding flesh, and yet somehow I felt he was expressing earnest appreciation for my body rather than lewd lust for it.

I can't write more now.

October 24, 2007

It's hard for me to write down the rest of events of that day. I honestly hadn't expected to end up nude in front of Clint, though I can't now deny the surge of pride I felt in his very vocal appreciation or the excitement of his hands exploring my naked flesh. But I also must have sensed that Clint was not finished with me. So I can only blame myself that, when he moved to delicately embrace my breasts and to fondle my responsive nipples, I had to take deep breaths and to close my eyes to keep from fainting. My heart was pounding so hard that Clint couldn't have helped but feel it as he stroked my heaving breasts. When he pulled me closer and took a nipple lightly between his teeth, my knees literally buckled and he had to catch me to keep me from falling. When his hand dropped to the softness of my vagina, I must have signaled my complete surrender.