Episode Four - Emma's Revenge
Well I guess I am the best one to tell you about what Emma really dreamed up and how she got her own back on me. Thatβs right its Waine talking again.
As you know by now I am, well a little bit, how would you say, unworldly. I had a rather protected upbringing and girls particularly are quite a new experience for me. On that particular day I was, after all, minding my own business, gazing out onto the meadows and paddocks where my true love, my only love Sarah Jane was galloping and jumping her horse in the morning light.
I was so moved I began to recite one of my favourite poems from Shakespeare
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometimes too hot the eye of heaven shinesβ¦.
Then I noticed Emma, one of the stable girls creep into the shed and quietly move towards me. I could just see her from the corner of my eye as she knelt down and to my amazement she began to move her hand around my thigh and very gently undo the buttons of my fly.
At first I was so stunned I really didn't quite know what to do so I just stood there and pretended I hadn't realised she was there at all.
Now come on guys what would you do? There you are dreaming about the true love of your life, reciting poetry and a girl begins to slip her fingers through your trousers! I mean would say, 'Excuse me but you seem to have lost your way.' Or 'I think your fingers may be inappropriately positioned'?
I am not a complete 'dork'!