One for the Nude Day contest.
Here we have Daniel, Craig's father, struggling with his son's recent arrival at the London apartment. Daniel is also having difficulty in coping with Craig's Ukrainian girlfriend parading around in just her underwear.
I hope you enjoy the following effort. Feedback is welcome. I had a beta-reader with this, so any errors that remain aren't my fault.
...Okay, a joke, of course any glitches in the text are down to me.
Thank you for reading.
GA -- Koh Samui, Thailand -- 22nd of June 2016.
One
"We need to talk."
Craig didn't look up from his phone. He knew what was coming. With his eyes on the screen, fingers and thumbs working, he asked a distracted, "What about?"
"Will you put that bloody phone down."
Craig heard the annoyance and, sighing, complied with a show of reluctance. He placed the device on the seat alongside him and looked up at his father to say, "What's so important?"
"It's awkward."
"Well, you're the one who wants to talk. So, awkward or not..."
His father bridled, snapping an ill-tempered response. "Don't be so damned impertinent. Just remember who's giving you shelter and putting food in your belly."
"All right ... Okay." Craig raised both hands in a show of supplication. "Don't go on a mad one."
Daniel Christopher cast a disapproving look at his son. "I'll do what I want in my own bloody home. And get your feet off the coffee table. What have I said about shoes in the flat?"
Craig bit off the retort, thinking it was hardly surprising his mother had found someone else while he lifted his boots from the glass table, unlacing and pulling them free.
"Sorry," lied Craig, the footwear going down on the floor next to the sofa. "Okay, what's on your mind?" He settled back onto the couch and made a piss-take show of undivided attention, hands folded across his stomach, an ankle up on one knee as he gave his father the innocent look.
Daniel sat down in the armchair across from the sofa. He looked at his son for a moment or two, nodding, a moue of contemplation pursing his lips as he, in typical style, carefully considered his words. "You staying here was meant to be a temporary arrangement," he finally said.
"It's only been three weeks, dad," Craig put in, immediately on the defensive. "I've found a job -- you know that -- but I still need the dosh for a deposit up-front. Even if I'm gonna rent." He cast a meaningful look around the apartment. "You know how expensive it is. I need a little more time. Or," he went on, pausing while giving the old man the arched eyebrows, "if you've got some cash going spare...?"
As expected, his father guffawed. "I've got cash, but I'm not giving it to you to waste. And you don't need a place like this. How are you going to afford a flat in this block on what you're going to earn? You just need a place, Craig. There's plenty in Poplar."
Craig spread his hands in a
What can I do?
gesture while saying, "Poplar isn't cheap, either. This is London, isn't it? It's an expensive town. I'm kinda stuck, aren't I?"
"We'll find you somewhere," said Daniel with a dismissive wave of one hand. "And perhaps I can give you a hand with some of the start-up, but that's not really the issue I want to discuss."
Craig knew where it was going, even as he asked, "What is it, then?" he knew what was coming.
He was pleased to see the old man squirm as Daniel, still wearing the dark, sober suit he habitually wore to Patemoster Row, gruff to mask his embarrassment, said, "Well, it's Adelia, really..."
"What about her?" asked Craig, on the attack.
Go on, dad, let's hear you say it
.
His father's expression was pained as he said, "I came out of my bedroom this morning..."
"Yeah?" prompted Craig, drawing the word out when Daniel fell silent. He challenged his dad with a belligerent stare.
"And," Daniel sighed, "she was in the kitchen in the skimpiest of briefs."
Craig couldn't stop himself from smirking. He knew
exactly
which knickers his father was on about.
"And she was topless again," added his father.
To which Craig replied with a smart-arsed, "To be fair, she hasn't got much on top anyway dad..."
Who needs big tits when she's got an arse like Adelia's?
"...I don't see how that can be much of a bother."
"That's hardly the point!" spluttered his father, not knowing his son was winding him up. "Don't they have a sense of decorum in Ukraine?"
"Oh, come on, dad," put in Craig, spreading his hands. "She's gorgeous. Is it really so bad?"
"Jesus, Craig!" Daniel cried, jack-knifing forward to lean his elbows on his knees. He stared at his son, incredulous eyebrows arched up near the ceiling. "She's supposed to be your girlfriend. I'm your father. It isn't
decent
for the girl to parade about that way. Not in front of me.
"Not that it's the first time, it isn't like it hasn't happened before. I've walked into the kitchen at least three times and found her waltzing about with bugger-all on.
"And how often has she stayed since you've been living here? Seems like it's been every night for the past week. I expect you think she can move in, too? Well she can't. There isn't room. I bought this place to be near The City; I thought I'd have it to myself. I don't mind you because you're my son, but I can't have a half-naked girl running about. It isn't right, Craig."
Craig let it all wash over him before replying with a cool, "So it bothers you. I get it," his casual response designed to get the old man raging.
"Look..." His father held up a hand and closed his eyes in an effort of restraint and compromise. "I don't mind her visiting from time-to-time, and I
suppose
I can put up with her staying occasionally --
very
occasionally, mind ... Say once a fortnight, perhaps?"
Once a fucking
fortnight
! Are you insane?
Sensing the time for goading his father was past, Craig nodded and said. "Okay. I hear you. I'll have a word with Adelia."
Suddenly conciliatory, surprised his son had given in so easily, Daniel said, "Sorry to bring it up, Craig. But I had to say something."
"Yeah. It's okay," his son lied. "I'll talk to her. See if I can get her to wear more clothes when she's here."
But there's no way I'm keeping it down to once a fortnight. No fucking way, mate. There's no chance of that happening at all
.
Daniel rose to his feet. "All right. I'll leave it there. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get changed."