It had been my intention to give the ring to her on her birthday.
As I sat in my car across from the suburban house, I could sense them inside â the kinky ones, with their minds on giving or receiving pain for pleasure. I had been among them before, dishing out punishment to my lover/best friend Sara, showing our little intimacies and discoveries to an appreciative audience.
Now she was inside receiving the same attention from someone elseâŠand I wasnât going to stand for it.
As I walked down the driveway, I again marveled at how innocuous the house looked, nestled in amongst its neighbors. I wondered if anyone in those houses to the left or right of my destination knew what went on insideâŠor if, wrapped in their own cocoon of middle-class existence, the just waved off the monthly get-togethers as some type of social club. Not knowing that, right this minute, inside a soundproofed room that had formerly been a garage, a woman was hanging from her wrists, blindfolded and gagged, while a man dressed in Chinese silk flailed her with a leather flogger.
I wondered if they would even care?
She had always like things tinged with gothic or occult trappings. Several times we had visited the occult bookstore in the old pedestrian mall, browsing the titles, taking in the collection of âspellsâ and âcharmsâ that made up the magic section of the shop.
I had been browsing that day, intent on finding something she would love for her birthday. She generally liked silver jewelry, with charms or inlay suggesting natural or magical bent. I had been through several jewelry stores looking for something that I thought would catch her fancy, but it all seemed generic, ploddingâŠuninspired.
On a whim, I decided to stop into the occult place, thinking maybe they had gotten in something new that she hadnât had a chance to see yet.
The old guy who usually worked at the counter was apparently taking the afternoon off. In his place stood a very, VERY old lady, cronish in appearance â wrinkled, shrunken, wrapped in a knitted scarf she wore over her head and around her shoulders. His mother, perhaps? She didnât say anything to me as I began to look through the various silver chains and charms that lined the counter near the front of the store.
The screen door was shut and locked, as was normal for the group â there was no sense in letting some denizen of the vanilla world wander into the lair unaccompanied on a meeting night. I stood there pondering whether or not to use my powers to let myself in, but only a moment went by before the front door opened and someone emerged, quickly closing the door behind him. As he moved to light a cigarette, I raised my hand and knocked on the wood frame. He turned to peer through the shadows toward the screen; the fire at the end of the cigarette was the only thing completely visible in the darkness as he took a drag, then let out a lungful of smoke.
âYou shouldnât be here, Daniel,â came the voice in the darkness.
âEspecially not tonight.â
Unlike Sara, I have never been a big believer in the occult. I was the science fiction stalwart, believing that technology was both the bane and the boon of man. I was the typical computer-phile, ooing and ahhing over advanced hardware and new versions of software, purchasing new peripherals and teaching myself how to use programs without reading the reference guides. I was the one who wrote the cautionary tales of technology gone wrong, with twisting Twilight Zone endings. I was the one that believed that the more advanced the science, the more akin to magic it would seem.
She, on the other hand, loved fantasy fiction and stories of the occult. She believed in homeopathy and Wiccanism and the power of white magic. She liked blood and knives and cutting and piercing. When she wrote, she wrote tales of her life, thinly hidden behind a name change here and there. Tales of submission, of stripping, of sex. Dramatizations of things that had happened, or things she wished would happen.
It was the irony of our relationship, I suppose â the feet-on-the-ground realist who wrote fantasies based on fact, and the white-magic submissive whose stories always seemed to encompass something from her own life, just glossed over a bit.
Still, she and I were exploring new depths togetherâŠand I loved her. So I wanted something as a gift that showed how much I could appreciate her passions. But none of the jewelry in the shop seemed to match what was in my head â not so much an image, but a feeling that I would know what I was looking for when I held it in my hands. None of the jewelry there met that requirement, so I turned to go.
âI am here. I am a member of this group. Open the door.â
The man moved from the shadows, walking down the stairs and into the light by the door. As I had thought, it was Gerry, the owner of the house, sneaking outside to sneak a smoke while everyone else was occupied. Gerry, who everyone called âFatfuckâ behind his back, because everyone knew that he had been skimming the membership dues and monthly meeting fees for things aside from new toys for the dungeon or snacks for the monthly meets. If it werenât for the fellowship that the others shared, and that he had a ready-made dungeon available for use, the members of âhisâ group would already have walked out and gone looking elsewhere.
âRamon wouldnât like it. And I donât want any fights in my house. Iâm not opening the door.â
I looked closely through the screen at the man whom I probably detested just a bit less than Ramon. A man who didnât need the money he skimmed from the members of our group, but took it anyway because he felt he was âentitled.â
I wouldnât feel bad crushing him under my boot like a bug.
The old lady caught my hand before I could walk out the door.
âYou want to buy something special for someone, yes?â she asked in a thick European accent.
âYes. My girlâs birthday is coming up, and Iâd like to give her somethingâŠextraordinary.â
The old lady looked at me intently, her brown eyes apparently looking for something in my manner. I felt like she was looking right through me, reading me like one of the books in the store. âMay I read your palm?â Unable to look away, I simply nodded my head.
She traced a finger across my palm, but unlike the palm readers Iâd grown used to seeing on carnival midways or beach boardwalks, she didnât talk about lifelines or spout vague clichĂ©s. âYou are in love. The woman is very sexual, but likes to kneel at your feet. You enjoy giving her what she wants, but wonder if you are exactly the right fit for her needs.â
True enough. Her passion for needles and cutting and blood were not high on my list of enjoyable activities, but they pushed her over the edge into huge orgasms whenever we did them together. Still, her desire to cut her own body sometimes gave me pause.
âYou wish she would tell you that she loves you, but she is holding back.â
Again, true enough. Sara had never returned the âI love youâ that I had said repeatedly over the course of the months we had been together. I had fallen for her quickly and completely, but she had been hurt repeatedly, and refused to fall into what she termed âthe trap of loveâ before she was ready.
âYou care more for others than you do yourself. Your own misery means nothing as long as those you love are doing well. You do not desire money or power to elevate yourself, but only to care for those who need your help.â
Perhaps. I was easy to be friendly with, but hard to befriend. Those that got close enough and hung around got pretty much whatever they needed, when and if I had it. My family always came firstâŠthen my friends. To me, Sara was now a part of my family, and I wanted to care for her completely and totally.
âYou are an odd combination of traitsâŠdominant but romantic, creative but grounded, sympathetic but always needing to be in control. You understand the consequences of power because, in your mind, you have concluded that ultimate power ultimately destroys the one who wields it.â With that, she let go of my hand, apparently satisfied with what she had read. Then she reached under the counter and brought out a jewelry box.
âI think that this is what you seek.â She gestured for me to open it.
Inside the box on black silk lay what was obviously a manâs ring. It was ornate silver, with some type of runes and symbols carved around the length of the band. More runes were fashioned in a circle around the stone set in the ringâs centerâŠa stone so black that it seemed to suck in the roomâs light, making the whole place dimmer. It was heavy in my hand, but holding it there, I could see it in my mindâs eye, perhaps on a silver chain around Saraâs neck.
It matched exactly with what I had seen in my mindâs eye.
âHow much?â I asked eagerly, wanting to secure my prize before it could be snatched away from me.