Chapter 1-Card Me Please
Tomorrow can't come soon enough. It's nine-fifteen and I am already in bed. I can't even begin to calm myself down. For starters, I'm turning the fabulous two-one! I can finally give a big F-you to every doorman and bartender in Vegas who sent me on my way when my fake ID didn't pass the test. I dare them all to card me after tonight. Matter of fact, I may just punch a hole in my license and wear it as a necklace. Or I could wear a sign around my neck that says: "Vivian Travis. I'm legal, bitches!" Take that, Mr. Can I See Your ID Please.
Of course this plague only befalls me, because my best friend Maddie has had D-cups since I met her in the fricking seventh grade. She NEVER gets carded. Somehow, my less-than-B-cups—yes, I said less-than-B because it just sounds better than actually saying "my first letter of the alphabet cups"—are a red flag that screams 'card me.'
Maddie always tells me that if I made small efforts to look older it would help. She and I are complete opposites in the looks department. Maddie has blonde hair and striking blue eyes. She was born looking like she belonged on the pages of Sports Illustrated. My beauty has always been much more subtle. My hair is long and straight and nearly black, making my too pale skin seem even fairer. People always complement me on my steel gray eyes. But the combination of my skin, eyes, and hair have always made me feel like my ancestors are some breed of wolf. Needless to say, add that to my runner's body and lack of a desire to wear makeup, and I guess I can see why I appear younger than I am.
The second thing that I am so jazzed about is that Maddie, her boyfriend Stevyn, and Liam are taking me for a surprise birthday weekend. The surprise is exciting enough. I am one of those girls who actually love surprises. When I was a kid I would get a thrill at the butterflies attacking my stomach on the first day of school. The higher the drop on a coaster, the better for me. Since the second I asked what we should do for my birthday and I was told it would be a surprise, I have been a bundle of nerves. But the surprise alone isn't what's got my stomach in knots. It's the weekend with Liam that I am the most thrilled about. Liam and I have been friends since seventh grade, too. He and Maddie are my best friends in the whole world. You rarely see one of us without the other.
The problem is that I decided to fall in love with him. I have always thought he was a good-looking guy. Okay, that's an understatement—with his dark hair, blue eyes, and perfect body, he could be cast in the role of Superman. Growing up, I always knew he was a great catch for any girl lucky enough to be on his radar. But never me. For starters, he has always been more like a brother to me. For finishers, we are on completely different wavelengths when it comes to relationships. Liam is more of a ladies man, and I am more of an abstinence girl—how can we possibly be compatible? No way would he wait for me, and I'm not sure I am willing to sacrifice my personal beliefs, even if I do love him.
So what changed?
It all happened about a year ago. Sex always seems to be a deal breaker in relationships for me. I have yet to meet the guy who shares my beliefs. I don't get why they think I am such a freak because I don't want to give up something so sacred to me. I'm sorry guys, but our third date is not a significant event, or enough of a commitment for me to give up that part of me. I can only give that to someone once, and I'm not saying it has to be my husband, but I would prefer it be someone I love enough to one day become my husband.
Liam could be that person. Recently, I began confiding in him about my failed dates and relationships, something that I never really did before. Maddie was always there for that. My failed relationships had been a long-running joke between Liam and me. But one day, I took a leap, sought out a male point of view. It was then that I saw a different side of him. He was so supportive and patient. A great listener. No jokes, ever. He would tell me what a great catch I was, and how beautiful I was. Really? He would tell me about what he would do if he had someone like me. Not me exactly, but someone like me.
I could gaze into his baby blue eyes all night. He made me feel special. Liam changed things over the course of the last year. He altered my view of him, making me think that maybe with the right woman, someone he could really love, I could see him tamed. And now I am lost. A bumbling idiot around him. Of course I couldn't say anything to him because I am potentially ruining everything. I am the one who is changing everything.
I am sure Liam's emotional support for me is no different than what he would do for Maddie. What if he feels awkward about my changing feelings? Or worse, what if we do try and it doesn't work out, and we end up hating each other? I mean, are my new feelings worth risking that?