Monday, July 22, 2013
I stopped to get a couple bottles of wine on the way back to my apartment as a gift for Melissa and Tori, once again spending money that I should probably be saving, but it would have been rude to show up to dinner and not bring anything. The wine wasn't anything fancy, just a ten-dollar bottle of Chardonnay and a twelve-dollar bottle of Pinot Noir from the grocery store, but hey, it's still alcohol, and it's the thought that counts, right? I didn't know what Melissa was planning to make for dinner, but a white and a red should cover our bases for the meal and we could drink the other afterwards.
It was just after two when I arrived back home, giving me about four hours to kill before I had to leave. Melissa had texted me their address and it would take me about twenty minutes to get there. I put the white wine in the fridge to chill and then puttered around the apartment for a bit trying to figure out what to do for the next four hours. In the end I decided to do a bit of reading on the couch, but I found it hard to focus as my thoughts kept drifting back to Melissa and Tori.
I still couldn't believe that Tori was also a teacher at Spellman. I hadn't seen her since the day we had split up over Thanksgiving break my freshman year of college. She had handled the whole thing with a surprising amount of maturity for a seventeen year-old girl. Long-distance relationships were tough, and it just wasn't going to last much longer for us. Tori wanted to be free to enjoy her senior year of high school, not just sitting around pining after a boyfriend who was five-hundred miles away. I really respected the way she handled everything, waiting until I had come home to talk about it instead of breaking things off over the phone, and especially taking the time to actually break things off instead of just deciding we were done and starting up with some other guy without telling me. I saw plenty of that from other long-distance couples that first year of college. So while I had been sad--I really did love Tori back then, at least as much as an eighteen year-old kid can actually love someone--I understood that our relationship had run its course and it was in both of our interests to end things. So we departed on good terms, disappointed in the reality of our situation but at peace with it, though at least for me there had been the lingering question of "What if?" What if Tori had been a year older and we could have gone to college together? What if I had gone to school closer to home, so the distance wasn't such an issue? I had been offered by San Diego State, I could have played football there. And of course, what if we had just kept trying despite the challenges? Sure, we still probably would have ended up breaking up eventually anyways, and almost certainly on worse terms, but who knows? We had only been long-distance for a few months at that point, maybe once we got over the hump and settled into things we could have found a way forward.
But the fantasy of those "What ifs" was not our reality. So we broke up the day before Thanksgiving 2006 and I never saw her again, until today. I pulled out my phone to do a quick search. Two-thousand, four-hundred and thirty-four days. That's how long it had been between the day we broke up and today. It felt even bigger spelled out like that. I did a couple more searches. We had started dating on September 26th, 2003. It was Homecoming and I had just won my first ever game as starting varsity quarterback for our high school. We met up at the dance after the game. She was only a freshman, but she was already an even better soccer player than I was a football player. I thought she was incredibly cute, so I asked her to dance, and then stayed with her the whole time. At the end of the night I asked her to be my girlfriend, she said yes, and just like that West Springs High School had its new power couple.
It was one-thousand, one-hundred and fifty-three days between September 26th, 2003 and November 22nd, 2006. Those three years together had felt like a lifetime during high school, but now our time apart had been over twice as long as that. I had absolutely no idea what had gone on in her life during that time. Obviously she had gone to college and become a teacher, but besides that? Did she continue playing soccer in college? I assumed so--she had been one of the top prospects in the country and already had offers from all over the place by the time she had started her senior year. Where did she end up going? I'm sure she'd had boyfriends in the last seven years. Had they treated her well or had they broken her heart? Her comment to me this morning implied that she thought us breaking up had been a mistake, so there were probably some bad relationships that came after. I had so many questions. Maybe everyone was right and I did need to get a Facebook or something so that I could at least keep up on the high-level overview of what was going on in my friends' lives, even if we weren't super close anymore.
Then there was Melissa. She was cute, fun, flirty, and obviously had at least some interest in me. She had gone out of her way to help me today, and was cooking me dinner tonight! Her being Tori's roommate complicated things, though. I had enjoyed our flirtations this morning, but if things were going to go any further it could cause problems between the three of us. Maybe she was just a bit over enthusiastic today, but Tori seemed to have at least some interest in trying to rekindle the sparks of our old relationship. I had certainly felt the heat of those embers earlier, long-dormant but never completely extinguished. A part of me really wanted to see if there was still anything there, to find out how our years apart had changed the young woman I had once been in love with. But I didn't want to ignore Melissa and give all of my attention to Tori. Who knew that trying to balance things between multiple women could be so stressful?
I grabbed my phone to send a text.
Hey man, give me a call before five if you can.
Two minutes later my phone started buzzing. I answered the call, "Hey man, thanks for calling."
"Of course, bro. What's up? How's the whale's vagina?" Classic Kevin. Almost ten years after Anchorman came out and he was still making that joke. Kevin was one of my best friends from Stanford. We met on the football team, I was the backup quarterback and he was the punter. After our freshman year we decided to get an apartment together and had been roommates until I moved out to live with Amanda once we graduated.
"It's pretty good, I'm settling in. I could use some advice though."
Kevin laughed. "Sure man, what's her name?"
"How'd you know it's about a girl?"
"Ryan, buddy, come on. There's only one thing in the whole world that you could possibly ever come to
me
for advice about." Kevin had been the quite the lady's man during our time at school. I had been Mr. Monogamy the whole time we lived together, having started dating Amanda towards the end of our freshman year. Kevin, on the other hand, seemingly had a new girl he was bringing home every weekend. He may have just been a scrawny punter but he pulled chicks like he was a starting quarterback on his way to being taken in the first-round of the NFL draft. Sara, his current girlfriend, had managed to keep his attention for over six months now, beating out the previous record by roughly...six months.
"Very true. Alright, so yeah, it's about a girl. Well, a couple girls. A few, maybe."
"I knew it! Finally, the true power of a fully armed and operational Ryan Dillon has been unleashed upon the female population!" He cackled like a mad scientist.
"Dude, what the fuck are you talking about?"
"My brother, you really don't understand how much Amanda stifled you, do you? Think about it. You are smarter than I am. You are better looking that I am, no homo. Plus, we shared a locker room for four years, I know you're more hung than I am, double no homo. The only thing I have going for me over you in terms of the ladies is my incredible sense of humor. Yet I was fucking a new girl every week while you played house with Amanda for six years."
"If any of that were true, why didn't I even have the opportunities? Sure, I wouldn't have cheated on Amanda, but if I'm such a natural chick magnet then why didn't I attract any others in the first place?"
"Sara said that you have, well, had, the most incredibly powerful 'I'm in a committed, monogamous relationship' aura she'd ever seen. If a girl somehow ignored that and tried to flirt with you anyways, your brain was always so locked in on Amanda that you didn't even notice it as flirting. Even if she wasn't around, somehow you gave off major 'I'm not looking for a hookup' vibes. Women are extra perceptive of that kind of thing. I'll be honest my dude, at least half of the girls I picked up at parties I got because they were interested in you but bounced off your Anti-Flirt Forcefield so hard that it scrambled their brains enough for them to be fine settling for me. In fact, thank you for that. That's how I got Sara."
I was stunned. "Are you kidding me?"
"Nah, man. She told me after we had been dating for a couple months. She locked in on you at the New Year's Eve party and was trying to flirt with you, but you were all 'my girlfriend this' and 'my girlfriend that' and didn't even notice she was hitting on you. You just took it as a nice girl striking up a conversation, talked to her for a bit, and introduced her to your roommate. I'm sure you didn't even realize you had passed her off to me. So yeah, thanks again. I'm gonna ask her to marry me on her birthday in a few weeks."