Pasha on the Playa

Trouble in Truckee

After the wild night of loving in the rental truck, everyone stood having breakfast in trees at the edge of our lot. I carefully backed the truck down off the road to a flat spot where it could be emptied. In half an hour, there was an enormous pile of boxes, bedding, Pashamobile and loose ends. We would need more tarps to protect it. It was obvious little of it was going in a single wide.

Alisa said, "Marty, I have a friend who might have an extra container to put that in. There are bears around who will destroy things if we don't."

Maya said she and Alisa would ride with me in the pickup so the twins could enjoy the symbolism of returning their Burning Man truck to where it came from. "Yes, yes. The circle completed," they chorused, sounding like confirmed Burner groupies.

Alisa was all business this morning. "Work now, play in casinos later," she smiled. We spent the hour driving to Reno talking about the county permit, and about the sanitation design. "My brother Andrei is a construction foreman and can probably borrow a loader with a digger on it for the weekend. I will do the spec on the tank size and you can go to the prefab place and pick one out."

She thought some more and said, "When we get to the hotel, give me a few minutes and I will calculate the tank and you can shop." She laughed at Maya, "We need place for poop to go!"

We followed the truck to the rental place and watched the twins walking around with the agent, showing him how well they had taken care of it. He pointed at the white covering of playa dust and wrote notes.

They climbed in back, complaining, "He charged $200 extra for dirt! We told him special playa dust and he should give credit!" They laughed merrily. I asked, "Are we renting a truck next year? What about a proper RV?"

"Marty! We get to go again? What about new mutant vehicle?" They bubbled away in the back.

That set the tone for the rest of the day. Alisa gave me a note about the septic tank and I shooed the four of them out the door to shop and primp. Maya had a fistful of cash in her purse and a big smile on her face.

Desert Septic was on a large layout north of town, with concrete tanks of all sizes scattered about amid piles of sanitary pipe. Larry, the yard salesman, showed me one the right size and said, "Six hundred if you pay cash, and five hundred to bring it to your lot north of Truckee and set it. You have to provide access, proper hole, sand to bed it in, and so on."

"Sorry to be upfront about the cash, but I get dodgy folks around here who ask for terms and then don't pay, knowing it's almost impossible for me to recover one of these once it is in the ground and backfilled. And used." He grimaced.

In a few minutes, I had a firm quote for a package deal, including a couple hundred feet of pipe for the leach field. Delivery ten days from order.

After filling the back of the pickup with lumber for supporting the single wide, which was coming tomorrow, I needed to pay attention to being a proper escort for my lovely ladies. The barber at the hotel was polite, but I could tell he hadn't seen a mess like my hair for a while.

"Do whatever is needed to make me ready to take four beautiful women out on the town tonight."

"Mister, you need help. Serious help."

An hour and a hundred dollars later, the improvement was startling. Joe, the barber, pointed me to his cousin's men's store to cover the clothing requirement.

I was on my way to the suite when my cell rang. It was Maya, sounding happy. "Marty, you will be pleased. Ladies look good. Going to store to pickup dresses soon. Good thing you told me about trust fund." She laughed gaily and rang off.

I said a silent thanks to granddad, "I'm spending it well."

The concierge had understood when I asked for a non-touristy restaurant to take some visitors from overseas. We were headed to Amelio's at seven.

In the room, I ordered a plate of shrimp and veggies, and opened a beer. At four, there was a noise at the door and four smiling women bustled in. Elena twirled and said, "Marty, new daytime dresses! You like?"

I wandered over and applied light kisses to madeup faces and fancy hair. Maya said, "Dinner dresses coming soon with bellman." I opened my eyes wide and she laughed. Alisa whispered in my ear, "We had such fun. You are good to your women." She pressed my hand and asked, "Ok to be your woman too?"

The twins were at her back, laughing, hissing and saying, "No. Fourth woman too many!"

There was about to be a giant wrestling match when I realized the fancy everything on the women had to be respected. "Librarians are jealous? You told me the other day you were not territorial."

They tried to stare me down and failed, collapsing against my side in fits of giggles.

The evening dresses arrived with the bellman, who had wide eyes at my roomful of women. He got a big tip and a smile from me. "Yes, sir. You have a good time tonight."

The dresses, day and night, were soon hung up, and I got a show of new and sexy underwear. I grabbed Alisa around the middle and tickled her until she screamed. I said, "You are responsible for buying frilly lingerie for Russian women?"

"Yes, yes. Must look good for their man." She relaxed against me and said, again, "Marty, this is such fun. Your girls will love you always!"

"Even when they are digging trenches at the lot?"

I was manhandled to the bed and sat on. I said to the twins, "Alisa's brother Andrei is going to bring a digger and make the septic tank hole. But lots of shovel work too. You can dance tonight and dig tomorrow?"

I was buried in incredibly clean, fresh smelling female bodies. "Yes, we will shovel. And won't smell like this either. Will trailer have working shower?"

Typical male, I hadn't thought of that. Picked up the phone and called Doug. "My women insist on a working shower in the trailer by the weekend. You will let me do the service to the lot, or do you have someone better handy?"

"Marty, damn you, I couldn't find a better plumber if I tried. But you get your butt in here and sign one of my subcontractor liability forms before you mess with that main."

I clicked off and looked at the women. "If you are very nice to plumber, he will connect to main as soon as Andrei can dig it out."

They flopped on me. "Plumber, we settled that already. You have many punishment points waiting. Can work off in ditch!" This was uproariously funny. I grabbed at a body, pinched it in a delicate place and applied a kiss. Maya said, "Very bad." Then whispered, "Russian women smelling bad without their plumber..."

We lay there, ready for a nap, when Alisa said, "Need to talk about tomorrow."

I stood and twirled Dancer, ending with her body on my shoulders. "Now you can give orders from up there."

Maya spoke to her in Russian and she nodded. "Ok, your engineer says busy day at her office doing your application and meeting clients. Maya will come with me and assist. After dropoff, twins will go with Marty to lot and help crew to set trailer in right place and level it. Take propane tanks along."

She waved her arms and said, "Now we will have dancing practice. Have to look good tonight."

Actually, it looked supremely silly. Four curvaceous women in fancy lace underwear taking turns in the arms of a large, ungainly male who hadn't been on a dance floor in a very long time.

I said to Alisa, "When I danced in Minneapolis, I was ten years old and five feet tall."

She laughed and kissed me lightly on the mouth, "Marty, we like the large size version of you. I will teach you and the other women how young people dance today."

I opened a bottle of wine, which went fast. Bodies relaxed and flowed around the room. Even Plumber got the hang of it. Alisa teased the others by moving into a clinch with me and just swaying in one place.

Maya said, "Bad girl. Are you trying to have stand up sex in public?"

The three of them clustered around us and said, "Ok, Marty, go after slutty woman."

Instead, I did another body press and held Dancer as high as I could. She stretched and did one of her ballerina poses. Everyone cheered and I let the tight body down carefully.

Maya said, "Tonight, Dancer, you must do your ballet moves with him in front of others. You are very beautiful. Will not matter if your pretty underwear shows."

The twins cheered, I smiled, and Alisa looked stricken. "Oh Maya, nooo..."

I pulled her up. "Yes. We will practice two or three throws and a high lift."

We did, to more cheering and a blushing Dancer.

A limo the girls didn't know about was waiting at the curb when we came down. My ladies were gorgeous and getting a lot of attention. I had instructed them to use Russian at odd moments to impress the locals and it worked. The chief valet and I were buddies by now. He winked at me and I slipped him a twenty.

The maitre d' at Amelio's was impressed as hell when he greeted us with an Italian accent and Maya responded in his own language. When we were seated, I raised my eyebrows at Maya and she said, "I spent a year in Pisa at the university. Not fluent but ok."

The wait staff seemed electrified by four beautiful women and one guy. Bodies hovered. Wine and food appeared like magic. Maya and I held hands under the table and smiled a lot. She whispered in my ear, "This is wonderful treat after years of hard times for us. You are truly a special friend." I turned and kissed her gently. The others cheered.

Alisa and I had done a last minute check of places where there was a band that could be danced to. The limo took us to 'Culver's,' which had a flashing neon sign out front that worried me about the plastic that might be inside. Lucky for us, it was not loud and trendy. After the first couple of songs, we could see that the crowd was locals who had come to dance.

So had we, and a marvelous two hours of dancing with all four of them followed. About halfway through, the band played a light swing piece and Alisa and I took full advantage. She loved being in the air, and I was energized as her partner. Seeing the elegance and grace of her moves, I wondered why our engineer had given up her career in dance. We came off the floor to a standing ovation. I stood to the side and bowed, holding her hand high. When we finally sat down, everyone's eyes were wet.

Back in the room at midnight, the formerly excited bodies were very limp. Blissfully, sighing, kissing limp. I went around whispering, "No sex, just sleep." The 'nyets' were soft and slipped away as I got everyone under the covers and turned out the lights.

Early sun was shining in the window and Dancer was poking me. "Marty, that was the best evening of my life, but we have to be in Truckee in an hour!"

I pulled her in tight, "Not possible. Cancel all appointments!"

Five quick showers later, the bellman was loading his cart and we were headed out the door to a gigantic squeeze in the pickup.

From the moment that we were stuck behind a sick big rig trying to make it up the steep road in the canyon, the day went downhill. We weren't even to Truckee when Alisa's phone started ringing. We could hear a series of excuses and promises to fix client problems today for sure.

"Marty, they are all mad at me for disappearing. I have to catch up with work."

Maya squeezed her shoulder. "Clients are important. Leave us for today."

I was looking for a parking space when my phone buzzed. Maya answered and said it was Doug.

"Hey, partner, there is a glitch at the title company. Something about an easement. They are working it but said to tell you no deed until next week."

I answered, "And no permit, either?"

"I'm afraid so. Can't tell if this is serious, but maybe you shouldn't dig just yet."

I looked at four sets of anxious eyes. "Title problem. Might affect the deed."

I pushed Alisa out. "Go take care of clients. We will do other things and see you at the end of the day at the lot."

Maya smiled at me. "Marty, in Russia, is always problem with officials. Takes patience."

The twins echoed, "Patience."

Full of adrenalin for all the wrong reasons, we drove rapidly to the lot and went to work on the chore list. Shortly before eleven, a flatbed truck came up the dirt road to the curve by our boulders. The single wide, looking sad but serviceable, was perched on top. At the head of the bed was a crane which was supposed to do the lifting. Sam, the driver, and his helper walked over and noticed my dubious look.

"Mister, we do these every day. We don't get paid for dropping them." They smiled and we smiled and showed them the spot for the trailer, with supports more or less in place.

The guy was an expert with the truck. Backing down over rough ground and paralleling the site. Our team had tapes and was frantically measuring as the trailer was hoisted off the bed and lowered toward the ground. At three feet, everything stopped while the final measurements and leveling took place. It had wheels, but they were never going to touch the ground. Ten minutes and several anxious crunches later, we had a living unit resting on our lot.

The women and I let out a big cheer, and I pressed twenties into the crew's hands. As the flatbed disappeared down the road, we cautiously climbed into the unit. It was actually clean inside. But no water, no power, and no heat until the propane was hooked up. Mattresses, but no bedding.

From the giant pile of Burning Man debris, camp chairs and tables were extracted. With sandwiches and cold beers from the cooler, we sat in the shade at the side of our new temporary home and smiled at each other.

Following up a thought, I wandered the road, looking for a water standpipe. Viola! There was one only a few hundred yards up the road, next to the lot sign for #14.

Saying I would be right back, I drove the pickup down to the highway and called Alisa.

"Hi, are you surviving the unhappy clients?"

"Marty! It is good to hear your voice. I am still imagining myself in the air on your strong hands."

"Dancer, I am still imagining you in my arms!"

"Hey, I found a water standpipe down the road. If you could lay your hands on one of those small gas engine water pumps, we could fill the big plastic tubs from Burning Man, fill the water heater in the single wide, and have hot water for Russian showers! No permit required!"

"Oh Plumber, your women will be so happy. Things are under control here. I have other news to tell you when I get there. Am bringing dinner. And the pump! See you by five."

I went back to the lot and was impressed by three hard working women organizing the debris pile and selecting things to go inside. Without revealing what I was doing, I wrestled the empty blue water containers into the pickup, and went to work replumbing the water heater. I said, opaquely, "This is for cooking water for dinner."

Maya pushed me out the door and said, "You are not fooling me, Plumber. What are you doing?"

I pulled her into my lap in a camp chair, which threatened to go down with both of us. "Professor, I was doing plumbing. Do you need to know the details?"

Her response was a long hot kiss, which attracted whistles from inside. Finally, she said, "Marty, if it is plumbing, it has to be good news."

I took her hand and we walked leisurely along the road until the standpipe came in view. "What is that, Professor?"

She giggled and poked my ribs. "You are bad guy, teasing me. That looks like water comes out of it."

"And if the water goes in the blue tubs, and is pumped into the propane water heater, what happens?"

She took me in a very tight clinch. "Maya is thinking of all the nights she stood in tub of cold water, washing with cloth."

I whispered, "With Plumber, no cold water, no wash cloths."

She laughed and batted at my head. "You are terrible. Want clean bodies to sleep with!"

We skipped back down the road, laughing and playing, my Russian girlfriend and I.

Alisa arrived before five and opened her trunk. The pump was old and dirty but, she said, "Made him start it. Runs like a champ."

The librarians were totally mystified, and we did nothing to enlighten them. With the aid of the pump, we had a hundred gallons from the standpipe in three containers in no time. Back at the unit, my improvised plumbing got the containers in the air above the top of the water heater, and used gravity to pressurize the gimcrack system. With propane connected, the heater was roaring in a few minutes, and Elena suddenly shouted, "Showers! Hot water for showers!"

It's nice to be a hero, even if only for an evening. Voluptuous naked Russian bodies kept dropping into my lap, fresh and smelling of violets, bringing drink after drink. Alisa sat next to me, sipping wine, and said, "Marty, you are discovering the way to a Russian immigrant woman's heart is American plumbing!"

I kissed her fingers and smiled. No words were necessary.

She went on, "I talked to the county. Told them they needed to look the other way about our doing the sanitary excavation this weekend. Told them absolutely no liability for the county if we are wrong about the deed and the lot."

"Andrei is good enough with the excavator to uncover the water main?"

"Yes. You will like him. He is an artist with equipment."

"After dinner, can we work on the materials list? I only guessed at things in Reno."

"There are four women determined to reward your efforts with their showers." She was in my lap, kissing me.

"If you shower with me before bed, there will be trouble, won't there?"

"I will speak to them. One time only shower for two." We hugged each other and chuckled.

Four Russian women proud of their cooking in one small single wide kitchen is madness. But the results were out of this world. I didn't know the name of anything and was afraid to ask. Smiles and nods kept the dishes coming.

I forced them outside with dire threats if I was not allowed to clean up. They went for a stroll, promising dessert later.

I was wiping my hands dry, and examining the miserable double bed, when hands went around my chest and lips covered my neck. "We can't sleep there. Your women want to sleep out. We can use Burning Man bedding."

For some reason, I was feeling teary. Burying my head in her neck, I muttered, "You are easy to love, my wonderful Russian woman."

Her arms gripped me tighter. "You are making me cry, Marty. We are here, camped out in the wonderful forest. I have my children with me. I could not expect this. Never."

We rocked back and forth, feeling bound closer and closer together. Alisa came in and punched us. "What is this? You are not teenagers any more. I am calling your mother."

Dancer explained to Maya in Russian that the two of us needed an hour for work, and then would come to bed. We sat at the dining settee with plans and the survey, taking off measurements for pipe and fittings. Andrei would dig the permanent trenches for water, sewer and electrical, but do shallow side digs to feed the single wide for now.

We were almost done when she took my hand to her mouth and kissed it. "You said you needed a job when the house was done. What about joining me right now? I have more work than I can handle. We will divide it up. If we are angry at each other after a bad day, your other loves will beat it out of us."

I folded up the papers, took her in my arms, and walked out to the starry bedroom. Quietly, I said, "Tell the others, in Russian, that you demanded I work with you, and I accepted."

I added, "But we have to be naked, in the middle, before you tell them that."

She cuffed me and whispered, "Terrible, Plumber, terrible."

She sat on my chest in her naked beauty, and went on at length, arms stretched to the heavens. I worried about the verbal embroidery that must be going on. What story is she really telling them, I wondered. Exclamations of outrage and "Nyet!" came from the audience.