***NOTE*** This story is part of my Trouble Texas Style series that includes Night Walker's Woman (complete), Tight Fittin' Jeans, Goodbye Earl, and Ready to Run. It will be appreciated more when reading in context with those.
***
Never in her whole life had Laura felt so weak, so confused, so vulnerable. She knew it was wrong. Cursed herself for not finding her big girl panties and pulling the damned things up to her neck. All she could seem to do was lean against him, and rest her head on his shoulders as he carried her down the hall.
She wasn't sure where they were going, didn't even know how he knew where to take her, but he opened a door down the hall. He rested her on her feet, but he kept one arm wrapped about her the whole time as he leaned down and pulled backed a thick woven blanket in red, black, and not-quite-white. Her hand caressed its roughness.
Ryan smiled at her as he settled her back against the pillows and pulled the bedclothes up over her. "Grandfather supports a lot of Native American artisans. He helps the old woman who made those to run classes for young people. So, traditional arts, crafts, and their heritage aren't lost."
She was too tired to do more than nod. It was a bone-tired of not just body, but mind and spirit. But Laura knew it was a luxury she did not have right now. Her Mama and sister needed her. She should not be lolling about in bed. She should be on the road back to Sebida.
"Knock, knock," the soft feminine voice called from the doorway. Jaycee came to sit on the side of the bed. Her husband was right behind her, carrying a tray of something that smelled surprisingly good. "I brought you some food. It isn't much, just some chili and cornbread. But it should be enough to fill you up before bedtime."
Laura started to shake her head, but Ryan took the tray from his cousin and sat on the bed next to her. He had managed to shove two spoon fulls into her mouth and a sip of water before her muddled brain even realized. "I am capable of feeding myself, counselor."
She wanted to smack that grin off his face as he passed her the spoon, "I'm glad to hear it, counselor."
Jaycee chuckled as she sat down on the other side of the bed, "Oh, this is gonna be good. There ought to be a law against two attorneys marrying one another." Her face suddenly darkened, but her husband was there. Rex gently squeezed her shoulder and smiled down at her.
Then Laura remembered, this woman was Sean Riley's ex-wife. Not only had the man been a friend and business associate of her former boss, Gerald McBride, but he was also an attorney. If she remembered correctly, so was his wife. Perhaps that explained the look the other couple shared.
Another bite was shoved between her lips, and she gave Ryan one of those looks. "If you don't want me feeding you, then do it yourself."
She wanted to argue. Hell, she had spent her whole life defending one thing or another. That was why she had become a lawyer. To right the world's wrongs. Then she had seen the money she could make, been seduced by the status, and justified it all in the name of doing what was best for her family. Look what that had got her.
"He's right. I know it's not what you want to hear, but you need to eat. You have to take care of yourself if you're gonna take care of that baby," Jaycee reached over and gently squeezed her hand with a smile.
The knot rose in Laura's throat, threatening to block not just the food but air as well. Chloe. Her baby. Her daughter needed her. Needed her to eat, drink, and sleep so that Laura could make milk to feed her.
But her baby sister needed her, too. She was alone. On the run. God only knew where. And, she had practically raised Mercy. At five, she had changed as many diapers as Mama had.
And Mama? She must be going crazy now. The woman had lived her whole life for them. Done whatever it took to keep her family together. But they weren't now. Her girls were scattered, and it was all Laura's fault.
"Stop it." It was not Ryan's voice, but the other woman's. "This is not your fault. None of it. It is McBride's, and whoever else is behind this crap."
Laura shook her head as tears fell again. She never cried, and here she was doing it in front of strangers. God damned hormones. "No, if I hadn't..."
The woman reached out, took her shoulders, and shook her gently, "Don't. That is a rabbit hole you can't afford to go down. I know that."
The woman sighed, "Life doesn't come with crystal balls. When we make decisions, we never know where they will lead. And the best that any of us can do is to own our shit. But that does not mean being the dumping grounds for other people's as well."
"You took a job, a good one, with what seemed to be a top firm. You worked your butt off and blazed trails for other women. How were you to know what the McBride's were doing?"
"Hey, can I interrupt?" Jack asked from the doorway. "Someone is a bit hungry. And I'm afraid Grandfather and I are a bit lacking in the equipment to feed the little lady."
Laura held out her arms. Her daughter felt so incredibly right in them, but the burden was intense. Would she have to choose? Her child's life or her sister's? How could she ever? Fresh tears sprang to her eyes as she drew her baby towards her chest.
Thankfully, Rex and Jack felt a sudden need to converse quietly at the other end of the room. That might have had something to do with the look that Ryan gave them both as he helped her to find a comfortable position to nurse their daughter.
Once he had her settled, Ryan cleared his throat. "Any more news, Jack?"
The man turned around as he nodded. He and Rex came to stand at the foot of the bed, "Yeah, Reb called back a couple of minutes ago." He looked Laura in the eye, "Your Mama is with Reb. She made it to the casino."
Laura closed her eyes as relief washed over her. That was something, right? "And Mercy? Do we know any more about my sister?"
He shook his head, "Not much. Your Mama told Reb she had no idea who the Ninja on the bike was." His eyes shifted to Ryan and then back to her, "But he hung up on me again. He said your Mama was on the phone to someone, and he thought it might be Mercy. You know she would not go anywhere with just anyone, right?"
"I hope so, Jack. Where are my bags?"
Rex brought them from the corner of the room and sat them by his cousin's feet. "Ryan, grab the phone out of the front pocket of my bag," Laura commanded. "Mama will call me when she knows more." Or she hoped so at least.
"And when she does, we will have a better idea of what we are dealing with. Until then, I'm getting these guys outta here, so you and that baby can eat and sleep in peace," Jaycee smiled reassuringly at her.
Yeah, this woman had attorney written all over her as she dragged her husband and Jack from the room. "Ryan, let us know if you need anything. Otherwise, we'll catch up over breakfast tomorrow."
He nodded as they all disappeared down the hall. Laura broke Chloe's seal on her nipple, and Ryan took the baby, helping her to roll over at the same time. He even changed her diaper while Laura forced a few more bites of the chili down. As good as it was, and as hungry as she should be, she did not have the energy or will to eat. Like everything else, she moved with rote for her daughter's sake.
Ryan handed the baby back to her and took the tray. "I'll take this to the kitchen, sweetheart. You get some sleep."
She started to shake her head as she felt the strong pull of the baby nursing. "Not until I hear from..." were the last thing she remembered as exhaustion won.
***
Ryan watched over his girls until Chloe's little mouth stopped sucking and came off her mother's nipple. He lifted her gently and kissed the top of her head. Genetics was funny. Statistically speaking, their daughter should have inherited her mother's darker hair and coloring, but somehow she was his spitting image with almost white-blond hair. Of course, that could change as she got older.
It was the strength and intelligence of the Reynolds women that he hoped she inherited more than anything else. He could tell that Laura was upset and disappointed with herself that she had broken down and cried, that she found herself relying on him. He knew too that he was going to have hell to pay tomorrow morning when she woke up and discovered what he had done.
He kissed the top of Chloe's head and laid her in the car seat/carrier that sat next to the bed. It could not be comfortable. He would check with Jaycee and Rex about getting something else. Not a crib, there was not enough room for that, but maybe one of those basket things that Laura had at her house. He covered her in the blanket and could not resist one more kiss on that soft downy head.
This is not how he had imagined bringing a child into the world. Hell, he had never been sure that he wanted to. It was not just all those years of small-town whispers behind his back, but he had seen things no man ever should. Done things that haunted his nightmares. Made choices that no one ever should have to. Ryan Paul Ranger knew more than most how fucked up this world could be.
But looking at that innocent little scrap of humanity, he wondered - did it have to be? Was it too late? Couldn't we make different choices? But how did that even begin? He ran his hands through his short hair and turned back to the woman sleeping next to him.
In sleep, Laura looked as innocent as their child. That hurt, jaded, and tough counselor was ripped away. He fumbled with that damned gown and pulled it up around her breast as best he could. Then he adjusted the blanket and kissed her forehead before picking up the phone and tray of food.
Ryan slipped out of the room. He knew that Chloe would wake them in a couple of hours to feed again. And he hoped that by then, he would have more information to share with Laura. He wanted to believe that he was a modern man, that he would support his woman whatever she decided was best. But he knew better. The need to protect them both overrode everything else.
He took the tray down the hall to the kitchen. He washed the dishes and put them in the drainer to dry. He stared at the phone that sat on the countertop next to him, willing it to ring. But it remained ominously silent. Maybe he should just check up on things, walk the perimeter. It bet waiting for a call that might not come at all tonight.
He headed towards the door but was surprised to find Grandfather, Rex, and Jack all congregated back in the living room, "I thought you would be back on the road by now, Jack?"
"No, I wanted to stay until I heard more from Reb. See what would be best from there. Grandfather agrees that no one will think much of me stopping by to see him on this odyssey."
Ryan nodded his head; he supposed that made sense. As much as anything did right now.
