the
'sexual revolution' of the 70's
was a miss-named glimmer
of the quiet next phase of humane evolution
that is only just beginning...
Hi, I'm Sarah. I'm two years out of high school and I feel alive. Maybe I've been stuck in my room too long, too deep in my head. This virus stuff is a mindf_k. But I've also learned to do some internal research!
But this story will be mostly about tonight. We can go out now! And a moonbeam is streaming into my bedroom. It's lighting a smart alecky shape on my bed — my new minidress! The rectangle is so short! It shimmers, with silvery wool threads on the outer tunic. This is my tale of discovery. Feel free to read, as long as it interests you.
It took lots of time and hilarious failures but I've learned to design a dress. I'm so glad I had something to do. And it fits
me
; that makes
me
attractive. My well-defined walker legs look shapely, and my tightish ass and petite bod make a discernible bends in the carefully placed verticals. I'm feeling warm.
I used to work some time at a gallery shop, shop for deals, and take varied classes at the local college, including art. I've trying to keep my creative juices flowing, and sewing and designs help. My parents work jobs they like so they are not rich, but they are reasonable and not too needy, and I've got a great room. I can walk around, even dance. There's natural light and privacy, and a mirror I've carefully placed.
I was thoroughly on the sidelines in high school, maybe that's why I got out relatively unscathed. And I've been happy. But now a few years out, I wouldn't quite say "rut." I'm still pretty much a virgin. I tried boys, but the boys were either dull and superficial or drunkards. Most girls are even more superficial and there's these power games I never bothered to understand. At least I have an imagination. And when I was stuck in my room for fuckin months I looked more into this thing called "self-actualization." It made me feel sort of lofty. But then there's this last chapter. I'm so glad Dr. Maslow wrote about actualized love, including solo. There were some good energy back in 1970's and I hope its not lost.
So, to be clear, I was absolutely, totally, surprised; flabbergasted, when I first read how long joy can last! I don't know why I didn't ask that question before! But stuck for too many weeks and holy fuck, the experiments just got better and better! Is this what it means to be alive?!
Ok so it would embarrass me to talk more about that. And tonight I can go out! I feel so social, so biological— I want to share! Today was warm and balmy and I had a safe bike ride. I'm showered and wrapped in a fresh towel and my muscles feel pumped. Let me turn up the music! Bye towel, let me put on silvery triangles that will dance in the mirror moonlight.
And now my dress... just tight enough and freedom is leaking out as legs — youw!
Silver flats with a precise little heel finish with a kick. The charcoal hoody is just in case with a zip pocket for my id. My hair is perfectly short and black (I had time to fuss with it). I'm sharp. I wonder if he will notice?
The horn blared; I skipped down the stairs and out! I tried not to be too happy reaching up to lock the door. My guy was standing by his pride and joy sports car. I've seen so many picture lately. He was waiting patiently, smiling and looking good. He is handsome and rather tall and his body looks friendly. I walked to him in a friendly way. He smiled and looked at my dress and politely said "hello." He opened my door. I sat down demurely, wondering where he'd look. At his shinny new tires! Hmmm. Was the outfit too wild? Too homemade? Not a problem, something told me the party will be more interesting.
He started the car and we were underway. He was trustworthy and could talk intelligently if the topic interested him. He had good taste in music and it was a longish drive to the party, so I kept up the superficial banter. I inquired about the event and it sounded interesting. When I asked him if hot babes would be available his profile smiled with delight.
He fiddled a lot with the stereo but his vision stopped there. The high end system beat darkness with resonance. We were leaving the city; the dark country we were entering seemed strangely inviting. I put the seat back some as buildings became few and far between. We were being swallowed slowly by a deep woods, and the foreboding atmosphere was amplified by the gothic beat. He wasn't watching me but it seemed like the moon was.
The journey continued and after a while nonverbals seemed to say "lost." Just as I began to figure out how to bring the possibility up, the engine spit and sputtered. Then it coughed, and the car was coasting to the side of the road. Then he sputtered, a string of obscenities as he got out. Some anger. Hood up, fiddle fiddle fiddle. I turned the music back on and the dark tune seemed so right.
"Nothing we can do with this damn thing and there's no f-n cell service. We've got to find a phone," he said in droning tones through my open window. I laughed — there was nothing outside but dark jungle!
I'd been cooped up too long! I opened the door and hopped out of the car. I needed to move. It was a lovely night for a walk and my legs were free. He wanted to head back, downhill, but I convinced him we had passed nothing for miles. Wasn't he looking at
anything
?! Ahead and up the modest hill was the only hope and he was too sullen to argue.
My shoes sounded nice against the gravely edge of the road. I could move in my dress, and my hoody was just enough security on this dark and balmy night. The air was oxygenated and my lungs drunk it in. But my friend was grumpy and sort of slow. To channel my ready energy, I took silly high steps. I jumped up in a twirl. I looked around.
Just as the pace was getting annoying, I spotted a great sign. "Look," I pointed. It took a minute but he followed my finger and saw the path. And as we stepped toward it, we could see them. Tiny, still a distance good away, but arranged over a large expanse — soft lit high windows, suggesting a large stone almost castle, obscured by woods and jungle. And the path looked like it led to the house. I shouted "let's go!" and assumed he followed.
It was up and down but at least the path was mostly well-placed stones, and the moon provided plenty of light. And thankfully, it was a good path — there was no brush to scratch my bare legs. And wow, they looked great in the light. The shoes worked well, gripping the rocks and earth precisely. I was in a rhythm bounding from rock to rock. Step step, hop hop, my legs knew where to go. What fun!
And then my guy crept into my mind. I looked back and saw darkness. I couldn't abandon him, or at least shouldn't. I bounded back downhill and found him, slowly picking his way, eyes stuck worriedly to the ground.
"I'm fine" he grunted, "don't worry about me."
"I can help you."
"No."
"I'll be just ahead" and turned to bounce forward again, skipping back into the rhythm. I paused at a view and light perspiration tingled my bare skin. I was glad to not be overdressed; I tied the hoody around my waist. And then I folded it over; I liked the air.
The path became grand and I resumed my forward dance, bounding faster and faster across luscious steps. The rocks were spaced perfectly and music was playing in my head.
Suddenly I was at a pinnacle and an amazing sight lay out before me. It was an elegant stone structure with elegant modern lines, set nicely in a landscape of courtyard and trees. In the moonlight! Between me and the castle was a dark ravine. And was that a gurgling brook somewhere in the center? I jumped up both fists up in delight.
It was nice to look around. Before me was a ravine, with a nice path winding down into the brook. And was that a steeper path that went down and up concisely, twisting around with incredible perfect steps. I looked back and the guy was still struggling, with a cranky posture. "You ok?"
"Yeaah."
I thought about diving in, letting gravity take me into the spring.
I stopped to breath. I looked at the moon. It was so bright! And it really lit my dress. I felt so alive! I pulled it up just a bit to let my privates say hello to the moon. OMG! I wiggled. I turned around and let my other side say "hello".
Then I took a deep breath and turned and skipped down into the brook, faster and faster, my feet juggling a faith in momentum. At the brook there was stone seat, and was that a tin cup? I was moving too fast. My feet knew where to go and stayed mostly dry, and then the muscles pushed upward into the twisted staircase, not a bit of momentum lost. The stones guided my feet and twisting me up the spiral. I took in deep breaths as my eye passed above the slate platform. Momentum still with me, at the last step I leapt into a spiral above the platform. The moon kissed me as I whirled. I landed perfectly balanced on my two feet, looking directly into large dark windows reflecting my being. The castle was still about twenty feet away. But wow, I looked so happy and alive, poised at the center of this tremendous scene. I turned sideways and had a nice petite profile. It just felt good to be close to somewhere.
But then I looked again into the reflection and I wondered, should I have waited for him? Did he see my silly little dance? Would I look crazy? Could someone be in the castle watching, laughing, ...filming?! I looked down at my shoes and there were splatters of mud.
I looked at the castle and took a deep breath. It was definitely stone, and probably old and cold. But it had those elegant lines. It qualified as the haunted mansion type, modern style. I tried to appreciate it. But an anxious shiver was still hiding in my spine. There was something in me and I decided to look at it. This estate really did look like a place where vampires would live. Somewhat cold exterior, ageless design. The vampires obviously had good taste, or at least vision. Much better than the stripmall structures pervading my world. I hoped I wouldn't find soap-opera melodrama in there; if I did, I'm running back to nature!
And then the dilemma crystalized. If they were decent vampires, would I accept their invitation — everlasting death — or would I return to "life" in my town?! I laughed at the new perspective and the obvious answer. Now my vulnerability felt good. My pose got saucier."I'm here!" I waved my arms up in the air and leaned my head back — here's my neck. Why do I feel so horny!
But I needed to check on my guy. I was turning back when the castle door opened and a glimpse of an interesting man slipped into the corner of my eye. I kept turning a full circle and found him on the other side. He was a ways away, but he seemed to be watching and smiling. Was that appreciation? He was dark and rather handsome.
His medium voice resonated across the stone. "Excellent moves madame. I hope there is some way we can assist you." He smiled at me.
I said "Yes, you can, I think" with a loud voice. "I am standing here because my friend is coming up the easy path. His car broke down and we were looking for help. And we found this lovely pathway!"
"Thank you. We do like to stroll. I think you saw the spring at the bottom? No, it probably was too dark. But the water is delicious. And inside, we have a comfortable place for you to rest. Would you like to come in?"
I took a deep breath, and started walking over, a gesture of faith. As I continued I asked if we could leave the door ajar for my friend, and the man said "oh most definitely."
