Mr. Near Perfect

Chapter 1

Melissa King was having coffee at a café with sisters Una and Donna, mothers of boys and both accepting the time to birth at least one daughter had passed.

That's why they remained focused on with the progressive development from the cradle and the latest news of their 22-year-old niece Linda, Melissa's only child.

Tears forming, Melissa told her sisters of the latest drama.

"It's almost a worrying month since Linda's graduation with a Master's Degree in Education. She floored Tom and me this morning announcing that she's accepted a job at Dunhill Beach for nine months as a surfing instructor."

Immediately thinking about the possibility of her niece being pregnant, Una asked, "Why for only nine months?"

"It's the length of the club's supervised beach swimming season in the sub tropics up there in Queensland that's about to start."

"Oh. Um, I'm sorry for the shock it would have been to you and Tom."

"Indeed, and I too feel for you Melissa," Donna soothed. "That's further evidence that Linda's long-held ambition to make teaching her career has slipped further down the drain. Did Tom rant on your behalf?"

"The opportunity was lost because our brat hit us really below the belt," Melissa sobbed, tugging at a handful of her side hair that was almost as blonde as her daughter's.

"I cried, "But why?"

"She said, it was because she was in despair."

Her actual words were, "Mum, I've concluded I'll never find Mr Right."

The three women sat amid a cloud of doom as if the inevitability of a world-wide famine within 10 years had just been announced. Until now, the three women had worried that Linda had never confessed to having any interest in romance and had dodged questions relating to becoming male-minded.

Una broke the silence.

"Surely Tom had the balls to counter that pathetic claim?"

"He tried, Una. But failed because I'd already inflamed the situation by yelling, 'You selfish brat with a selfish attitude. Now our desire for grandchildren is threatened'. And then Linda practically spat when countering shouldn't her needs come first?"

"Tom jumped in with a ridiculous contribution that all of the Miss Rights in the world had never found their Mr Right because they were simply too demanding and too focused on their bullshit claim that females were intellectually superior to males."

"Omigod, Donna and Una cried in unison.

Nodding in appreciation of the support, Melissa continued.

"I attempted the intellectual approach and cried, 'Darling, it only requires patience and the right guy will slip into your life much to your delight'."

Una said, raising her eyes to the ceiling: "And?"

"The bitch gave us the obscene one-finger salute and said sweetly, 'Those parrot-like utterances are typical of your generation, all words without substance' and calmly left the room. I heard the fridge door open and sighed thinking she was hungry whereas I felt ready to throw up."

"Tom then said sourly, 'I suppose this means we'll have to support her financially for the rest of our lives?' and I said, 'I know my daughter; she has the strength, determination and the resilience to get what she wants from life as an adult and be totally independent."

"Tom added he had confidence in me being right and Linda, leaning in the doorway eating from a plate of yoghurt-topped muesli said, 'Thanks mum, much appreciated. Dad, you need a shot of superior repair and revitalising genes into your backbone and while you're at it get a shot of booster hormones into your system so mum gets the attention she needs in bed'."

"For a moment I thought Tom was about to faint. But facial colour returned quickly and he muttered 'bitch' to our daughter and left the room."

"Omigod," Donna and Una cried.

"I wish we had dramatic encounters like that is my household instead of the stupid male-oriented conversations and male domination antics that we have," Donna sighed.

"I just wish I had a daughter to enjoy intelligent mother and daughter conversations and mutual physical caresses," Una said.

Donna and Melissa stared at Una speculatively.

* * *

Linda King neared Dunhill Beach on Australia's Queensland coast, more than 1800 miles north of her family home, happy that she'd left on the normal good relations she usually shared with her parents.

To her astonishment, it had been her normally argumentative and irresponsible Aunt Una, who smoked pot and reputably was unfaithful to her husband Uncle Stanley, who Linda had long thought had become a boring old fart, emerged as the effective peacemaker.

Aunt Una had arrived unexpectedly at the King's home after dinner with two bottles of bubbly, placed them on the coffee table in the TV room, switched off the TV and announced, "Right Tom, four glass flutes please, chop-chop and when you return, no one leaves this room, not even to pee, until this farcical stand-off involving you three is resolved."

Tom, who'd once been knocked unconscious when Aunt Una caught him with a left-hander under the chin at an extended family evening barbecue last Christmas Day when he'd claimed drunkenly that her boobs had dropped so much that she almost appeared pregnant in her sundress without a bra, scuttled away to fetch the flutes.

Melissa had murmured the three of them had tried to achieve resolution, without success, as they raised their glasses in a silent toast and took their first sip of bubbly.

Linda recalled Una saying, 'You stupid bitch, you have the brains to analyse why you two are in stalemate with Linda. This is the next step in reaching resolution."

Linda knew that her mother was practically fearless, having played top grade netball (basketball until she was 36 and retiring proud of her nickname 'The Enforcer'. But Linda knew her mum almost worshiped her youngest sister who'd saved Linda at the age of 14 from severe molestation in a street gang attack by five unemployed guys aged 17 to 21.

Linda retained vivid images of screaming hysterically as Aunt Una, who happened to be passing, jumped from her car and with two-backhanders dropped two of the guys and then laughed maniacally as she lined up the older guy who'd ripped off her dressed, leaving Aunt Una in just bra, panties and sneakers, smashed a fist into her attacker's mouth. While he was spitting out blood and tooth fragments, Aunt Una screwed the fifth guy's left arm behind his back and handed him her phone and ordered him to call the cops.

After thanking her aunt profusely, Linda, although still shaking, marvelled when Una had smiled and said, 'It's just what females do when other females are attacked darling.' She then uttered memorable words, "Never tell anyone darling but I'm as high as a kite. I just been to a girlfriends' morning tea of coffee and we smoked weed'.

Taking a large swig of bubbly, Tom said, "This impasse is unresolvable, Una."

"Darling?"

"You taught me when I was a wild young teen that's nothing unresolvable."

Una grinned and said she probably said practically nothing was unresolvable.

"Okay Miss Brain Box, is this resolvable?"

"Too fucking right, Linda. We could settle this quickly, by you beating sense into your father while I break one of your mother's arms, but that's not your style. Thus, it comes down to this: have you told them how you intend to support yourself while at the beach?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because unlike you and also Aunt Donna, they never asked,"

"You stupid young woman. That's being unnecessarily obstructive. Tell them now."

"Mum, dad, because I possess a degree in Education, have nine surf lifesaving club awards, a State junior and a senior open championship title in board riding competition and a national under-18 long board championship title, I will have the status of professional lifesaving captain in charge of volunteer life guards with responsibilities for training individuals and groups. I'll have free board and accommodation and providing I maintain a minimum level of professionalism, I'll be paid a weekly wage based on an annual salary of $24,000 plus bonuses."

"Oh darling," Melissa said excitedly. "It's a shithouse starting salary for a recent university graduate for 9/12ths of a year, but at least the experience and status will look good on your CV and, above all, there's an important educational teaching content in your job responsibilities."

"Oh yeah, thanks mum."

"Job-related achievements are impressive but your job experience adds up to practically nil and I guess you are entitled to feel satisfied and presumably the beach is pretty remote because I've never heard of Dunhill Beach let alone a Dunhill Beach Surf Life Saving Club," said her father, CEO of a major regional building supply company.

"Gee thanks, dad," Linda said softly, earning a big grin from him.

"Mum, it's actually the beach for a substantial reasonable-cost resort specialising in offering restful accommodation and seaside recreation for citizens of local townships and for rural families living several hundred miles into the vast hinterland where farming is a battle, not a cushy way of life."

"Whatever, darling. Just remain sensible and keep safe."

Una drained her glass and said, "Is the issue done and dusted about Linda, becoming independent and heading north?"

"Absolutely, thanks 'Undies' (his nickname for Una)," said Tom, raising a clenched first high.

"Yes, and you are marvellous as our family conference facilitator," smiled her happy sister, blowing kisses to Una.

By the time Melissa had finished that tribute, Linda had flung herself into the loving arms of her favourite aunt who was smothering her with kisses.

Finally breaking free, Linda delivered her tribute.

"I've learned so much growing up with you and watching you interact with people and dealing with difficult sods including your difficult husband, Una."

"So, it's no longer Aunt?"

"Yeah, and remember how you dealt with the hangover of that problem when you were entering adulthood?"

"Indeed, I do baby and never call me aunt again. You have learned some of my skills and methods in acting tough verbally and dealing with difficult problems, you have inherited your mother's determination and toughness and my, ah, plus your mother's level of intelligence and your father contributed heavily in your upbringing."

"What, like sending me out to get the newspaper from the lawn or to the family shop when he suddenly felt like reading a newspaper."

"You called him 'dada' before you called your mother anything darling. He taught you to walk, to ride a trike and then a two-wheel bike and remember all those weekends he drove you to pony-riding school and..."

"Omigod, yes I remember. Dad, sorry. I was scared stiff of the sea and somehow you took me through that mental fixation and I'll never forget the day I swam underwater farther and longer that you were capable of with mum standing in the water up to her tits in her best sundress and clapping her hands and bawling her eyes out screaming that you dad was a wonderful teacher and I was a good pupil."

"You know folk, you three have been huge contributors to me reaching early adulthood greatly prepared to enjoy life and deal with the trials and tribulations ahead."

"Okay girls, I'm taking you out for dinner. Get ready," Tom said. "I'll call Stanley now to invited him to join us. Do you want him to fetch you a better-looking dress, Una?"

"No thanks, this old thing will do. Oh, by the way, Donna and I are throwing a bit party at my place next Sunday night for family and Linda's close friends and she leaves on Tuesday for her long drive up north."

"Omigod, is our baby leaving us that soon?" Melissa said, bursting into tears.

"For fuck sake Melissa, exhibit a stiff upper lip and get a life. Be a good role model to your daughter that I often am left to encourage you to do."

"Get used to it you chump," Melissa sobbed, scolding herself and blew her nose heavily.

"Tom!" Una ordered.

Tom leaped to his wife's side and hugged her and began uttering comforting words.

Linda looked at Una, shaking her head.

Una gave her a huge wink.

* * *

The 19-hour drive-time from home to Dunhill Beach in Queensland, with an over-night stop at Goondiwindi, on the border between New South Wales and Queensland, a place Linda believed she'd never heard of until planning the road journey.

She'd driven in her fully-restored and updated 8-year-old Holden V8 Ute (pickup) that her parents had given her, at her request, to mark her attainment at graduating from university with her education degree. They had intended buying her a small cross-over SUV.

The father of her best male friend at university, a retired motor mechanic restored Holden vehicles as a hobby. It was white, 4WD with a supercharger added. She was pleased how the two-seat vehicle had performed on the long journey.

Stopping at Goondiwindi just over 1000 miles of driving completed, she'd twice fallen asleep at the table at the halfway mark while waiting for her dinner to arrive and then while still eating. However, she arose the following morning feeling refreshed and that was helped with the knowledge she had a little less than 850 miles to travel.

Chapter 2

Linda stopped on the hilltop overlooking Dunhill Beach late afternoon, got out and stretched, looking down at the beautiful beach and great surf was running. She was eager to introduce herself and then to collapse into bed after eating a burger, or two.

She was pleased to be an employee of the Oceanic Investment Corporation and really thought the Dunhill Beach Resort, one of seven coastal and lake resorts the corporation had constructed and operated, looked much like holiday heaven. The corporation also had developed seven coastal residential subdivisions with sites facing a multitude of dredged out network of canals with a further two under construction and five more sites were waiting development approval or were on the drawing board.

Before Linda could give her name, one of the two women behind the reception counter glanced at her computer screen, smiled and said, "Welcome to the resort known affectionately as the Hideaway Resort and welcome to the team, Miss King."

Wow, was the greeter clairvoyant?

"Thanks, but please call me Linda."

"Sweet name and it suits you," smiled an older woman as she approached them. "I'll take you to the new director Mr Hazelwood, who has replaced Mr Malcolm who would have authorised your employment, Linda. Mr Malcolm was fired for minor periodic embezzlement stretching back 11 years."

"Oh fuck, what an introduction," Linda sighed tiredly, not meaning to say that aloud.

The women laughed appreciatively.

"I'm Paula," smiled the older woman. "With that level of relaxed humour, you'll fit in well to our team. I'll take you through to our resort director Caesar as we discreetly call him."

Oh-oh, Linda thought, catching the contempt used in uttering that nickname for the boss.

The over-weight guy with thinning blonde hair, in his late 40s, with beads of perspiration on his forehead despite the room being air-conditioned, didn't bother to rise from his plush chair, said, "Greetings Miss King. Arriving late, it would appear?"

"And what was my ETA? I suggest you don't guess, because even I had no idea of my arrival time after setting out yesterday to drive a little over 1000 miles before an overnight break."

Fat-man pulled a file across his desk, opened it, and said, "Ah, Linda. I suggest a little less aggression and a little more respect would most certainly start us off on the right foot."

"Agreed, providing it works both ways.

He glared and said, "Paula, please stay as a witness to this meeting that's beginning to turn to custard. Well, moving on, Linda, I was aware you are not yet quite 23 but you look far younger and that's bad for our staff image where we have two 25-year-olds as the youngest and they both look it."

"Okay, Mr Hazelwood I invite you to say right now what else do you dislike about me or simply rule that I will not be formally signed on here. But I warn you, I was personally vetted by a video link to the chairman of the corporation that owns this remote result, Mr Mark Stewart who personally sought the appointment of someone with my qualifications to be placed in charge of water safety activities at this resort following three near-drownings of resort guests in the past two years. The appointment is a first for the group and Mr Stewart personally supervised his concept being brought to fruition."

"I'll now add my own thoughts. You best make peace with me and support my employment personally and professionally as any CEO or director in your position would be expected to do, otherwise if a head is to roll, it almost most certainly won't be mine."

"Okay, okay Miss King, and I assume it's okay for me to call you Linda?"

"Linda is fine."

"I apologise for getting off the wrong foot with you because I had an almost sleepless night last night. I suffer from a touch of... a touch of..."

"Alcoholism?"

For a moment, Mr Hazelwood looked about to explode but caught himself, eyeing the fearless-looking young woman standing calmly in front of him and finished weakly by saying, "A touch of symptoms of recurring malaria."

"Oh, you poor man," Linda said, sounding and looking genuinely sympathetic.

"Thanks, and look, you are being employed here in a managerial role. Please call me Raymond."

"Thanks, I may call you that sometime soon. We now appear to be at peace and perhaps that means you might not believe that retaining Paula here for any longer is necessary as she had her own work to do."

"Indeed, and Paula you may like to befriend Linda and help her to settle into our community."

"Yes, Mr Hazelwood. I'll be delighted to do that."

"Thanks Paula. I believe I'll be very happy in this beautifully located retreat," Linda said, waving as Paula left.

At the 4.30 pm coffee break for senior staff who worked till 7.00, other employees gathered around Paula to hear about the so-called 'Baby-face' newcomer who was reputed to be a champion surfer and surf lifesaver.

"Omigod, she's younger than my youngest," said Anna, a mother of four children. "She'll be an employment disaster here considering many of our guests are toughies from the interior who come to swim, sleep and get liquored up before looking for a babe to fill their arms."

"Oh yeah? I've just witnessed Caesar being virtually turned to jelly after he began speaking to her rudely and being critical of her appointment," Paula said, out to enjoy the moment.

"At one point, I watched disbelievingly the muscles ripple on her back and thought, omigod, she'd about to slug him when Caesar caught the danger signs and began back-pedalling faster than a cyclist racing downhill."

Paula continued although not mentioning the bit relating to alcoholism and malaria. By the time she'd finished, the newcomer who'd shown the courage to go head to head with Caesar was gaining an aura usually reserved for legendary characters.

The cluster around Paula fell away as, with seemingly incredible timing, Linda entered the room and Paula said, "Hi Linda, I told Lucy where you would find me."

"Yeah and thanks. It's all done and dusted. I've been placed in Wing 12."

Everyone who heard appeared surprised.

Paula asked was Linda sure she'd been assigned to Wing 12.

Linda pulled out a piece of paper from the pocket of her shorts and handed it over,

"Yes, it's the directions to Wing 12 with room 8 on the sea-view side circled."

"Sea-view side?" queried a couple of onlookers.

"Yes."

Linda asked, a little worried, "Is that the punishment room?"

A beautiful woman of about 30 cried, in a heavily faked ascent, "Darling, wing 12 is for senior executives and the seaward facing rooms are absolutely premium locations. The chief 'Mr Fix-it' who's just left for his second wedding after divorce had occupied that room. You've arrived and landed on your feet of those beautiful legs."