Chapter 1
Melissa King was having coffee at a café with sisters Una and Donna, mothers of boys and both accepting the time to birth at least one daughter had passed.
That's why they remained focused on with the progressive development from the cradle and the latest news of their 22-year-old niece Linda, Melissa's only child.
Tears forming, Melissa told her sisters of the latest drama.
"It's almost a worrying month since Linda's graduation with a Master's Degree in Education. She floored Tom and me this morning announcing that she's accepted a job at Dunhill Beach for nine months as a surfing instructor."
Immediately thinking about the possibility of her niece being pregnant, Una asked, "Why for only nine months?"
"It's the length of the club's supervised beach swimming season in the sub tropics up there in Queensland that's about to start."
"Oh. Um, I'm sorry for the shock it would have been to you and Tom."
"Indeed, and I too feel for you Melissa," Donna soothed. "That's further evidence that Linda's long-held ambition to make teaching her career has slipped further down the drain. Did Tom rant on your behalf?"
"The opportunity was lost because our brat hit us really below the belt," Melissa sobbed, tugging at a handful of her side hair that was almost as blonde as her daughter's.
"I cried, "But why?"
"She said, it was because she was in despair."
Her actual words were, "Mum, I've concluded I'll never find Mr Right."
The three women sat amid a cloud of doom as if the inevitability of a world-wide famine within 10 years had just been announced. Until now, the three women had worried that Linda had never confessed to having any interest in romance and had dodged questions relating to becoming male-minded.
Una broke the silence.
"Surely Tom had the balls to counter that pathetic claim?"
"He tried, Una. But failed because I'd already inflamed the situation by yelling, 'You selfish brat with a selfish attitude. Now our desire for grandchildren is threatened'. And then Linda practically spat when countering shouldn't her needs come first?"
"Tom jumped in with a ridiculous contribution that all of the Miss Rights in the world had never found their Mr Right because they were simply too demanding and too focused on their bullshit claim that females were intellectually superior to males."
"Omigod, Donna and Una cried in unison.
Nodding in appreciation of the support, Melissa continued.
"I attempted the intellectual approach and cried, 'Darling, it only requires patience and the right guy will slip into your life much to your delight'."
Una said, raising her eyes to the ceiling: "And?"
"The bitch gave us the obscene one-finger salute and said sweetly, 'Those parrot-like utterances are typical of your generation, all words without substance' and calmly left the room. I heard the fridge door open and sighed thinking she was hungry whereas I felt ready to throw up."
"Tom then said sourly, 'I suppose this means we'll have to support her financially for the rest of our lives?' and I said, 'I know my daughter; she has the strength, determination and the resilience to get what she wants from life as an adult and be totally independent."
"Tom added he had confidence in me being right and Linda, leaning in the doorway eating from a plate of yoghurt-topped muesli said, 'Thanks mum, much appreciated. Dad, you need a shot of superior repair and revitalising genes into your backbone and while you're at it get a shot of booster hormones into your system so mum gets the attention she needs in bed'."
"For a moment I thought Tom was about to faint. But facial colour returned quickly and he muttered 'bitch' to our daughter and left the room."
"Omigod," Donna and Una cried.
"I wish we had dramatic encounters like that is my household instead of the stupid male-oriented conversations and male domination antics that we have," Donna sighed.
"I just wish I had a daughter to enjoy intelligent mother and daughter conversations and mutual physical caresses," Una said.
Donna and Melissa stared at Una speculatively.
* * *
Linda King neared Dunhill Beach on Australia's Queensland coast, more than 1800 miles north of her family home, happy that she'd left on the normal good relations she usually shared with her parents.
To her astonishment, it had been her normally argumentative and irresponsible Aunt Una, who smoked pot and reputably was unfaithful to her husband Uncle Stanley, who Linda had long thought had become a boring old fart, emerged as the effective peacemaker.
Aunt Una had arrived unexpectedly at the King's home after dinner with two bottles of bubbly, placed them on the coffee table in the TV room, switched off the TV and announced, "Right Tom, four glass flutes please, chop-chop and when you return, no one leaves this room, not even to pee, until this farcical stand-off involving you three is resolved."
Tom, who'd once been knocked unconscious when Aunt Una caught him with a left-hander under the chin at an extended family evening barbecue last Christmas Day when he'd claimed drunkenly that her boobs had dropped so much that she almost appeared pregnant in her sundress without a bra, scuttled away to fetch the flutes.
Melissa had murmured the three of them had tried to achieve resolution, without success, as they raised their glasses in a silent toast and took their first sip of bubbly.
Linda recalled Una saying, 'You stupid bitch, you have the brains to analyse why you two are in stalemate with Linda. This is the next step in reaching resolution."
Linda knew that her mother was practically fearless, having played top grade netball (basketball until she was 36 and retiring proud of her nickname 'The Enforcer'. But Linda knew her mum almost worshiped her youngest sister who'd saved Linda at the age of 14 from severe molestation in a street gang attack by five unemployed guys aged 17 to 21.
Linda retained vivid images of screaming hysterically as Aunt Una, who happened to be passing, jumped from her car and with two-backhanders dropped two of the guys and then laughed maniacally as she lined up the older guy who'd ripped off her dressed, leaving Aunt Una in just bra, panties and sneakers, smashed a fist into her attacker's mouth. While he was spitting out blood and tooth fragments, Aunt Una screwed the fifth guy's left arm behind his back and handed him her phone and ordered him to call the cops.
After thanking her aunt profusely, Linda, although still shaking, marvelled when Una had smiled and said, 'It's just what females do when other females are attacked darling.' She then uttered memorable words, "Never tell anyone darling but I'm as high as a kite. I just been to a girlfriends' morning tea of coffee and we smoked weed'.
Taking a large swig of bubbly, Tom said, "This impasse is unresolvable, Una."
"Darling?"
