Mr Computer Cleaner Ch 03

The setting is a small city in New Zealand. The hero with the odd name of Dio falls into an usual occupation that connects him to an assortment of offbeat characters, It becomes clear that Dio is enjoying a life richer in many ways than most people around him. He is between girlfriends when he meets a damsel in distress on the roadside, with a puncture to her mom's car. Dio helps out and the twenty year old Carra invites him to accompany her to a function. The next day he meets her parents who disapprove of Dio because of the age gap of twelve years. He begins thinking quite a bit about Carra although not while being led astray by a married woman who is his neighbor

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Living only three streets away from Carra Fleming, 'Mr Computer Cleaner' Dio Wellington ate breakfast thinking of his date for the evening who'd still be asleep, probably dreaming of a wedding one day on the beach. Of course her mother would insist on a church wedding, her parent's church in Santa Fe, Argentina, no doubt. Then Cal's parents might want it in a cathedral in Melbourne. Such conflicts made his dream run rather erratically, but that's the way of dreams.

That evening Carra told Dio what had happened after he'd left the breakfast reconciliation, giving her his first passionate kiss. She'd returned to the dining room after he drove off and said she faced her parents. "Well?" she'd asked, a little pugnaciously.

"We like him," soothed her mother. "He makes me laugh."

"He's okay, I have to say that," said her father sternly. "But what about this guy's prospects?"

"I haven't a clue, daddy. Anyway, you are so rich there's bound to be something available for us and if we should ever decided to marry we could always live in his little cottage and beg on the streets should his prospects not be good enough."

"No daughter of mine is going to live in a dump and beg," Cal said ominously.

"Well, daddy," Carra retorted coolly, "You'd better keep your check book handy."

Cal couldn't reply to that because Carmen was beginning to frown. He didn't want to have to deal with both of them, firing off each other, "Any way, what's this crap about marriage; you've only met the guy three times? You're on a romantic high, baby."

"Caleb, I won't have bad language in my house. How many times do I have to warn you?"

"But darling," protested her husband. "I didn't swear."

Lying was another no-no, and Carmen moved into stage two, her dark eyes smoldering.

Carra came to the rescue. She mouthed C-R-A-P to her father. He smiled gratefully at his little sweetie.

"Oh, Carmen – how careless of me; I did release a word into this room that belongs in the gutter. I apologize, sweetheart."

Carmen ignored him but by shaping the back of her hair with her hands she indicated Cal was forgiven. Father and daughter had long learned to read Carmen. "Your father is right. You have known this man through just three meetings. That's but a drop of a pebble into the ocean of life."

"What are you talking about mama? This is all conjecture although if things were to work out then perhaps one day we may decide to get married; end of story."

"But can't we discuss this like normal, intelligent adults? Carmen wheedled, aware that she was unable to control her daughter like she could her husband

Carra used a tactic learned long ago from her mother. She ignored her.

"Let's move on daddy. I'm amazed about this concept of marriage. We have only just met. Good heavens, he may not like me enough or find a much better prospect. But I must say this: should Dio and I stick and eventually decide to wed you need to know something. The wedding venue shall be where he wants it, where I want it. Not where you and your parents in Santa Fe want it mummy or where you or your parents in Melbourne want it daddy.

"Perhaps we should elope," she almost muttered, and slumped back in her seat, waiting for reaction.

"Elope?" commented her father as if he'd hear the hint of a profanity.

"Elope!" shouted her mother.

"Elope!" shouted her father, his voice rising.

"Elope," whispered her mother, bowing her head and bursting into tears.

Carra felt it was time to restore family stability. "Oh, come on you two; enough of the theatrics. Mama, do you have confidence in my judgment, wish me happiness and will not stand in my way – given that I always shall treasure your advice?"

Carmen knew there was only one answer. Carra was 20 years old, and she had no wish for her to leave home without a compelling reason, and she did not wish to be that reason.

"You have my blessing."

"Daddy darling?"

"Do as you wish."

"Oh I am so delighted to have mature and understanding parents; that clears the air. Now, what shall we do tomorrow as an extended grouping – you've got to make Dio feel the welcome mat is out?"

"A barbecue?"

"I'll do a roast dinner."

"Go to our favorite Italian restaurant."

"Go over to the coast."

"Take him up to the lake."

"Join him at his place for dinner."

The ideas seemed to run out.

"Well, that's us done, darling," Carmen said. "You choose."

"Will it be fine tomorrow?" Carra asked, sweeping hair back from over her eyes.

"Yes," said Cal. "The forecast is good."

"Then I want one of our fabulous picnics up in our favorite place in the forest – with all the trimmings."

"But we didn't give you that option," Cal protested.

"Doesn't daddy love me any more?" simpered Carra, fluttering her eyelashes.

"The forest," he said.

"Carmen?"

"Yes, that will be perfect; we shall have him all to ourselves."

Dio telephoned Carra to say that he was running late as a friend had called. He'd be about ten minutes late and would she mind coming out when he sounded the horn. He asked this anxiously, wondering if Carra would act like the person he thought she was, or would he discover a hidden side inherited from her mother.

"No problem."

No problem? No foot stamping or being given a lecture on chivalry. What a girl!

"Come to me a quickly as you can; bye."

Dio put down his phone and punched the air. "She's not just going out with me – she's eager to be going out with me," he crowed.

Later Carmen would relay to Dio how she further conditioned her parents to accept Dio and his ways.

After taking Dio's call she told her mother: "He's running late, so will toot and I shall run out. Please come to the front door when I leave and wave to him."

Dio tooted and hastened around to open the passenger door for Carra. They kissed, doing that so quickly it was impossible to discern who made the first move.

Carmen and Cal waved, and waved again.

"Your parents appear to have been on the bottle; they are flapping their arms so fast they look about ready to take to the air."

Carra laughed at told him not to be silly, that her parents were just being friendly.

Dio was hoping Carra had not been dining at sea before – well, at least on the river.

She was pleasantly surprised when they parked at the riverside and began walking over to the paddle boat.

"Have they started the season already?" she asked in surprise.

"Yes, tonight is the maiden voyage – only men and maidens are allowed on board."

"Oh," she pouted. "I was hoping we would be able to dine together."

He looked at her closely, but could read nothing, except merriment in her eyes.

The admiral greeted them at the top of the gangway and a purser took them towards their table where an attractive hostess in a black dress and black jacket intercepted them and inquired, "Mr Wellington?"

Dio said "Aye, Aye" and was startled when the hostess said warmly, "Good evening Miss Fleming."

After she had left them at their table under its own palm tree, Dio said, "How do you know her, does she work at the Council during the day?"

"No, daddy brings mama and me here quite a bit; he likes the atmosphere because the music is all old tunes that he knows. But don't worry, you tried to surprise me and you certainly did as I didn't know the season had started."

They had a long leisurely meal interspersed with dancing, with Dio trying nothing fancy and managing quite well.

It was almost midnight when they arrived on the driveway to the Fleming's house.

"Thank you for a wonderful evening," he said, kissing her, and then added, "I feel I know you much better."

Carra grabbed him, pulling his head down and kissing him passionately.

"Steady on, your parents may be watching."

"Let's go somewhere private then."

"There's plenty of time to do that, just one step at the time, huh?"

"Of course, she said weakly."

Next morning at 11:00 the foursome headed for the picnic spot in the V8 Range Rover Vogue. Along the way Cal asked Dio plenty of questions, ending up with an understanding of Dio's work. Dio had wisely generalized it as "Making house calls, something like a doctor."

"Dr Computer?"

"Yes, that's it."

Dio learned that Cal owned and operated the region's largest crane hire and excavating company.

They arrived at the edge of a forest-covered mountain range.

"We have to lug everything up there," Cal said, leaning forward and pointing to a grassed clearing.

"Why don't we drive up?" Dio asked.

"Because we may get into a skid or scratch the paint," Carmen replied with a touch of finality in her voice.

Dio looked at Cal who shrugged.

"This vehicle will go up there as if it were just going up the incline of your concrete driveway to the garage," Dio argued.

"What!"

"She'll do it with ease, Carmen."

"How would you know?"

"Because I drove these things – though not as swanky as this one – when I was in territorials in the Army; we learned how to go nearly everywhere."

Dio turned to look at her and found Carmen listening attentively. "Ahead of us it's steep; I'll grant you that. But it's a relatively even incline – dry, no rutting, and no gouging – as smooth as a baby's bottom.

"All right, general," Cal snorted. "Take her up."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, providing you are."

"I'm getting out," Carmen said nervously.

"Me too," Carra volunteered.

"Well, let's swap seats, Cal, and if you ladies don't trust me, then do walk."

"I would like to trust you, Dio," Carmen said.

She was almost capitulating.

Dio and Cal switched seats.

"Carmen why do you and Cal have this vehicle; to bump smaller vehicles out of the way at the supermarket?"

"No, the idea was to do some cross-country adventuring; we've done some, although always across relatively flat land."

"Well, stay put and picture this," Dio said, moving the vehicle off. "Imagine that piece of land in front of us we are traversing as being flat but then just picture it being ramped it up a bit."

"By sixty degrees," Cal said, exaggerating.

"By thirty to no more than forty degrees," Dio corrected.

He adjusted the seat and mirrors to suit, looked at the dials and switches of the latest in new technology and shrugged. So what if most of it was newfangled accessories? Do the right thing and bits that are meant to switch in will do so – surely? No, definitely. He was confident about that.

"Hi, ho, hi ho, it's up the hill we go," he sang, while his passengers looked on slightly nervously although they were still on reasonably flat terrain.

"We're going very slowly," Carmen observed.

"I have her in low range ready for the climb ahead. No sweat. The slower we go the safer we are, but this really is a picnic."

"I hope we do enjoy the picnic," Carra said quietly. "I'm now wishing I'd picked the beach option."

"What and get chewed by a bronze whaler?"

"That's not funny, Dio. You know mama and I are very nervous sitting back here."

"Right, like to sit on my knee?"

"You attend to your driving thank you."

Just before the front wheels begin the start of the steeper climb Dio slipped into third gear. He'd stay in that gear till they reached their destination.

Dio announced in a plumy voice, "This is the captain speaking. We have now settled in to our rate of climb and will maintain this speed for the next two minutes. Please remain with your seatbelts buckled up and no smoking. Thank you."

"This is a piece of cake, Dio," Cal said, stretching his arms and back.

Dio asked what he expected after paying a truckload of money for such a vehicle.

"Mama says he bought it to watch the petrol drag money out of his pockets. It guzzles gas."

"Hush dear, we don't need to inform company of in-family feuding."

"But you love this vehicle, mama."

"I know I do. Oh, look what you've made me do. Your father now knows what I think."

The vehicle was climbing slowly, with perfect stability and Captain Wellington was in danger of falling asleep.

He was jolted out of torpor by Cal asking, "What are your prospects, Dio?"

"Caleb!"

"Daddy!"

"ETA in thirty seconds, everyone," shouted Dio, doing his best to add to the verbal melee to bury the question.

"Oh God," shouted Carra, misinterpreting the shout.

"Hush, dear," said her mother, grasping her hand. If your father says it's a piece of cake there is nothing to worry about."

The vehicle drove on to the natural clearing in the forest and nobody felt it necessary to sigh in relief. A second later Cal was out of the vehicle, the only thing on his mind was which hamper contained the wine.

"Chase me," shouted Carra, flashing past in her blue sundress – her mother looking at her suspiciously wondering if she was wearing any underwear. She couldn't actually see a panty line and the small amount of wobbling indicated no bra.

Dio held the door open for Carmen who stepped out gracefully. He then raced off.

Cal, already pouring himself a glass of wine, standing at the back of the vehicle as if he were at the Hunt Club or watching the dressage; he called Carmen to look at the running style and speed of Dio.

Carmen looked, with admiration. Carra had said he'd been a champion runner, and it was easy to see why. To think that her daughter was going to get her hands on that body!

Dio tackled Carra to the ground and she gave the obligatory scream. She was now exploring the back of his mouth with her tongue.

"Was that nice?"

"Yes, a very nice scream," he said innocently.

Oh my Gawd, she thought. Am I about to add another tease to the family.

"That's a lovely sight," remarked Carmen, arriving with a tray of hors d'oeuvres and two flutes of champagne. Dio was lying across the slope and Carra was laying at right angles her head on his chest. He'd circled some of her hair around his hand and was stroking her cheek.

Dio looked up and smiled.

"Stay there and enjoy this," said Carmen sweetly. Come back when you're ready. We won't be lonely and who knows, I might get lucky and have my hair wrapped in loving hands."

"Good luck, mama. We'll cough loudly before we approach."

When it came time to leave, the demur of the women had changed considerably.

"I'm going to vun – I mean run – down the hill," hiccupped Carra.

"Well go now," Dio urged. "For safety reasons I can't begin the descent until the route of clear."

"What, all that fuss for this tiny little hill. In Argentina as a girl I would have galloped down this hill," snickered Carmen, with her hair in a mess looking as if someone had unrolled only one side of it.

"Iwanna stay to be near you, Di-di."

"Okay Carra, climb aboard. Crew, this is the captain speaking. Is all cargo loaded?"

"All cargo loaded and secured, captain," said flight engineer Fleming. "Chocks away."

Carra was already asleep and Carmen looked to be not far from joining her.

Dio did a three-quarter turn and then backed up before completing the turn.

"She's got a reasonable lock and would have gone round in one turn. Why did you choose not to do that?"

"Good question, Cal. The answer is conservative driving. Good practice is to begin the descent in a straight line off this flat area. We would have been turning into it on an angle had I proceeded on that one lock. It's wouldn't have presented a problem as the ground is dry and smooth – but I chose to do it correctly. Training, I guess.

"Good for you, boy; top marks. Now what's the procedure?"

"Again the conservative approach because I have you and two precious women in the back."

"You're not going soft on my wife, are you?"

"Not necessarily, but she ought to be precious to you."

"Oh, I see what you mean. So, we just crawl down in low range first gear with absolutely no braking – I remember learning that when I was on my test drive, then pre-delivery drive and then reading the handbook."

"That's right, sir. No braking, and our rate of descent should be a galloping four miles an hour."

Once home, after being lovingly kissed by the two women – one, understandably, taking a lot longer about it than the other – Dio spent the next two hours replying to recorded phone messages. He estimated it was take almost three weeks to complete those house calls, so there was no need to have his ad re-run in the newspaper for quite some time. If the volume of calls continued, he'd need to engage an assistant – or two!

Lily Mace, 43 Maize Road

Dio called at Lily Mace's request at the time she stated 9:00, but no-one was home He scrawled a note on the back of his business card advising that he'd called and added his unlisted cell phone number. He'd purposely left that number off his card in the belief that a busy man doing work for clients ought not to be interrupted by taking phone calls.

Mrs Dutch, 2 Hedge Lane

An old lady came to the door dressed in a long, tattered dressing gown over what appeared to be a pair of men's pink long john's. Her silver hair hung down to her shoulders and over her face.

"Yes," she said, holding hair from over one eye to take a look at Dio. "I can't remember calling you."

He explained he helped people with problems with their computers.

"But I don't have a computer," and to his next question she confirmed that no one else was living in the house.

He said goodbye politely and was departing when she called out, "But aren't you going to fix this computer I haven't got? I'll make you tea if I can find another cup."

"Monday morning, oh bloody Monday morning," grumped Dio and he walked between the borders of spring flowers along the pebbled path.

"And don't forget to close the gate you moron," she shouted from the front porch.

Miss Alice McGrath, 12 Hedge Lane

A pale-faced woman with hair in a bun and the stature of a Flemish painter's model of the 17th century stood waiting on the terrace. Dio imagined her holding a fan and the painter peering at her waiting for the light to illuminate her right cheek just a tad.

"Good morning Mr Computer Cleaner," she called musically. "We're having a good morning are we?"

"No we're not!" Dio grumped.

"Oh, you poor boy; come this way– I've just poured you fresh tea and the scones are just out of the oven.

The scones were the size of bread and butter plates and lined in a row in front of his plate was a big dish of butter, another filled with strawberry jam and another heaped with double cream.

"What a lovely smile," commented his hostess. Her visitor had momentarily thought he'd arrived in heaven.

"My mum used to sometimes present me with a morning tea like this – in fact, exactly like this. It's wonderful."

"Oh, how lovely. She must come here and sample one of my morning teas."

"She can't, she died three months ago."

"Oh, you poor boy; that's a pity. Perhaps she'll make me morning tea sometime soon."

Something told Dio not to enquire about that comment.

"Now, I don't have much for you to do but beside your plate in that envelope are one hundred and twenty dollars. So please entertain me for the next two hours. I've become lonely here and many of my regular callers have eased off, tired of waiting, but I'll be going soon."