Chapter 8:β β The VP Gets a Promotion
Danny's point of view
The VP job catapulted me into a different stratosphere. I can't growl, bark orders, or threaten to castrate them and roast their balls on a spit, or such routine military threats. I am adjusting, though. The hardest adjustment is the wardrobe consultant for the white house. During my month of training she works with dressmakers in Italy and Pairs to make a wardrobe for most anticipated occasions. Oh, for the simplicity of uniforms.
However, Gino says with my clothes, jewelry and natural radiance I light up every room I enter. He's biased, but so what? Like Marion Garland, the previous VP predicted, I am a perfect fit for the position. I never imagined myself wearing power suits, going everywhere surrounded by secret service agents, and everyone standing when I enter the room.
First, I'm a Pope, then a two-star general, then the Vice President. What next?
***
I've been VP for three months to this day. Jan, my executive assistant burst into the office and blurts, "Madam Vice President, The President's had a heart attack. It's on the news!"
I am puzzled and alarmed. "At the meeting at the UN in Switzerland"
"Yes Mam. Here's the news; I'll turn it up."
A picture of President Tom Sullivan's smiling face is behind the grim-faced news anchor. Oh, no you don't, Tom. Don't die until your term is over. I don't want a desk in the oval office. Don't do that to me!
The commentator tells the story. "This afternoon at a UN meeting in Geneva, Switzerland United States President Tom Sullivan collapsed while addressing the assembly of the United Nations.Β We are waiting for an update fromΒ the hospital."
All the feeling in my face blows a fuse. My personal night sky is coming toward me, but the stars are going out. My head drops briefly before a dim light chases away the darkness βwith tenacity of one that refuses to die. I grip the desk until the swoon passes. Tom, no!"
The secretary panics. "Madam Vice President! Oh My God! Jan, call the doctor for the Vice President. Hurry."
I raise my head and focus on the TV, but it's a hazy blur. Bees buzz in my ears, and the room rocks and sways. I can't think. The Physician Assistant comes in at a trot and helps me to the sofa. He props my feet up on the high, plush, well padded arm and drapes his jacket over me. "Lie still Madam Vice President, you are fine. The blood is returning to your head now and is chasing away the dizziness. Sit up when you are ready and drink some water."
Jan turns the TV's sound back on in time for me to hear my worst fear confirmed.
"This just in: Thomas Sullivan, President of the United States of America was pronounced Dead on Arrival at the Hospital in Geneva." That's all I hear. My mind shuts down, locks up, and searches for a bunker to hide in. I drop into a dead faint. My elevated feet send the south bound blood back north. Jan is frantically fanning me. She's both deeply worried and grief stricken, but not half as set adrift and panicked as I am.
The Chief of Staff contacts the Chief Justice, and half an hour later Chief Justice Quinton stands in front of me in the oval office ready to administer the oath. THE OATH. Oh god.
From Chief Hawk to Commander-in-Chief. Wake up Danny! Wake your ass up and give up this nightmare.
Trouble is, I am not asleep. The Chief of Staff, the White house press secretary and a camera jockey are to my right and the rest of the staff witness this "Historical Moment" from the hallway.
Chief Justice Quinton acts quickly because until I take the oath the country is without a President. "Raise your right hand General Marinoβ and repeat after me."
I raise my right hand, screaming in my head, I don't want to be president! I want to be a General. Damn it Tom, get back here and stop playing possum. Get on with being president! NOW!
The judge intones the first half of the oath: "I do solemnly affirm that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States."
My mind is still rejecting the idea: I don't want to be President. But what can I do but take this oath! Damn, damn, and double damn. Triple damn too.
I parrot back the first sentence: "I do solemnly affirm that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States."
General Vice President, Mando, Hawk, and Danny are desperate to mutiny. I shake and tremble more than a prissy sissy on a battlefield. "How about if I stay vice president and Gino takes over the presidency? He's much more qualified than I am. We'll be a husband and wife team. President and vice president; we've got the capitol sewed up. That's the ticket.
He continues. "And will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States."
Oh, all right, I'll take this oath, but I don't want to be the god damn president. "And will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States." Ohhhhhhh Shit! I've stepped in it now! Not just ass deep; eyebrow deep. Mother truckers and rubber duckies! How can I get out of this?
The chief Justice is offering his hand and saying something. I snap back to the here and now, which I'd rather be now and then. "Congratulations, Madam President." My hand is too numb to feel his. I hope I'm shaking it good like a good President should. Damn it all, Chief Justice, don't congratulate me! This is a sentence, not a privilege for god's sake! Look what happened to the last guy in this office. He is dead.
I manage a weak, "Thank you, Chief Justice." Office staff surrounds me shouting congratulations, but all I want to do is go to bed with Gino and enjoy the comfort only he can give me.
The Press Secretary hands me an inaugural speech to read at the press conference in the press room. Secret Service Agents race the clock in high gear to clear a gaggle of reporters for the press conference.
Am I floating in a vacuum or in a different dimension? Nothing makes sense. It's like my mind is buried in freezing snow and shot full of Novocain. I'm numb and dumb as a zombie. Secret Service agents escort me to the press room to stand in front of a wall of microphones, cameras, and people. Tom if you weren't dead I'd paddle you with a porcupine.
I'm speeding past numb to "pissed off" for being railroaded into this position. I glance down at my script when I need to or to take a break from the staring contest between Cyclops the Camera and the Shanghaied President. Democracy my ass."