Life Less Lived

Wednesday, 4 shopping days to Christmas

Marina didn't wake until it was already light outside, when she found herself alone in Sophie's bed. She hadn't heard Sophie get up before her in the morning. She noticed it was about nine in the morning.

Outside, the view from the front bedroom window was fantastic. There was thick white snow as far as the eye could see under a thick leaden sky. The house was completely surrounded, or at least from where she could see, by fields, hedges and woods, no other house in view out of that front bedroom window. Most of the landscape features were masked by a thick blanket of snow, only the leafless trees stood out bare against the white background and even many of these had snow sticking to one side of the trunk and sitting heavily on weighed-down branches. It had stopped snowing but the heavy grey sky looked like it was full with plenty more snow to come.

Her clothes were neatly folded on the chair next to her bed, freshly laundered and dried, no doubt deposited there by the thoughtful Sophie.

Marina wondered what had troubled the girl so much that night, perhaps she was still feeling the loss of her mother? Or missed her sister? Marina washed herself in the en suite bathroom, cleaned her teeth with the spare brush that Sophie had given her the previous night and dressed in the now freshly-laundered clothes she had worn yesterday.

The kitchen was empty when she reached it, but there was a yellow post-it note on the counter saying that Sophie was out checking on friends living towards the village. Daniel was in the stables. The note told Marina that she was therefore to help herself to breakfast.

Stables! Marina shook her head, she was well outside of her comfort zone here, the whole of her tiny flat would fit in this kitchen, she thought. A selection of cereal boxes were left out on the counter and Marina prepared a bowl of porridge in the microwave and helped herself to a cup of coffee from the pot which had been left brewing.

She was just finishing her breakfast when the outside door opened and Daniel came in with a smile of greeting on his face, reddened by exertion and the bracing cold, kicking the accumulated snow off his black wellies and removing his hat, coat and scarf. After washing his hands in the sink, he poured a coffee for himself and joined her, sitting opposite at the antique kitchen table. He smelled faintly and not unpleasantly, Marina thought, of hay and horses; it was a smell that suited him.

"Did you sleep well, Marina?" he asked, smiling, as he settled himself down.

"Mmm, too well, thank you Daniel. I didn't hear Sophie coming up or going."

"Sophie walked down to the cottages first thing to check that our retired housekeeper, who was also the girls' former nanny, was OK and if necessary fetch her anything from the shop. She will be back later this morning."

"She's such a lovely girl, Daniel, you must be so very proud of her."

"I am, of course. I think both the girls had quite a hard time after Penny died, I don't think I helped much, I was quite a mess myself."

Marina said "Of course you must've been," and, without thinking, reached out across the table and put her hand on Daniel's hand and squeezed it. Daniel put his other hand on top of hers and returned the smile. His eyes were moist.

"Thank you," he breathed. "Look, would you like the ten-bob guided tour of the place?"

"I'd love to have a look around," she admitted. "This house is fantastic and the view from Sophie's bedroom is wonderful."

"OK, I'll show you round the house, first, then. After that we'll have a look and see if any of our wellies will fit you, we have quite a collection of them at the back of the garage!"

"You, or was it Sophie, mentioned the stables in your note?"

"Yes, we have just our three horses in there at the moment. We used to look after a lot more at one time, up to a dozen can be accompanied without even doubling any up, but I have really neglected that part of our operation since the girls have been away and... Well, I have cleared the paths of snow on the way round, so you'd be ok that far in your normal shoes, but if you want to look over at the polytunnels you'll need proper footwear."

Daniel showed Marina over the house, including the other side of a magnificent staircase in the middle of the house. The stairs she used yesterday were apparently the ones the servants used in days gone past. Most of the lefthand side of the house was, Daniel had to say, a bit of a wreck. Daniel admitted that in the two years since his wife died he had devoted himself to the book project and pretty well neglected everything else. He hadn't even worked for a living in all that time, having resigned from the European Parliament. The roof needed fixing on that side of the house and the rooms needed drying out, damp-treating and redecoration. The farm manager and family, who had previously occupied the other side of the house, were temporarily housed on the edge of the farm estate in two cottages. They were part of a row of four. Lady Barbara, a friend of Daniel's wife, occupied one cottage and their old housekeeper/children's nanny lived in the other.

Marina was surprised at how easy and relaxed Daniel was in his conversation with her. He didn't seem to be anything other than honest, kind and affectionate while being completely gentlemanly. There was no hint of any embarrassment on his part about whatever took place in the past. Was it possible that he didn't appreciate what he had done to her so long ago, or what the consequences of his actions were? Perhaps she really had led him on back then and what happened was all her fault that they had become so tragically intimate in those parting moments. She simply didn't have any memories of what happened with or to her, but evidentially something had. Yet here he was, as charming, pleasant and, she had to admit, as adorable as he ever was in his youth. Daniel seemed happy to have her there in his company, even if their present relationship was as old friends only.

Marina was both puzzled by his relaxed yet attentive behaviour and equally amazed that she fell into such an easy fellowship with him, all the while an inner voice was telling her to run away just as fast as she could. It was as if she was a girl again on a carousel ride that both frightened and thrilled her.

Increasingly Marina became aware that she was just as deeply in love with Daniel as any woman could be and that she always had been in love with him, almost from first sight when she was 16 and working in the snack bar next to the hotel bar where he was working during the long University summer holidays. Did he reciprocate those feelings in kind, or was he just being naturally affectionate, wanting the simple renewal of the platonic friendship she thought that they shared so long ago? Could she, Marina wondered, ever get over what happened back then, and was it even possible that Daniel could eventually fall in love with her? She almost laughed at the impossibility of that train of thought.

The house had been here for about four hundred years, with the Underhill family as owners from 1811 until the 1950s. The Medcalfs had also lived in the village for generations and one his ancestors, a farm labourer, was born on the farm in one of the tied cottages in the 1850s. That labourer had ten children that scattered in all directions. One of Daniel's ancestor's brother moved to London to seek his fortune. He didn't make it though, and died relatively young of consumption, but one of his four daughters married into a banking family, the Josephs, whose great grandson bought the house and grounds in the 1950s. His wife Penny Josephs was born here in the house. Daniel's great grandfather was a railwayman on the Great Western Railway, and his family lived in Swindon. They only discovered the coincidental connection when they were going over the family tree as a school project for Ginny.

The family, Daniel explained to her as they walked around the house, have a large market garden farm on the property as well as growing some arable crops and meadow fields for grazing and harvesting hay. There were sheep and goats on the high ground behind the farmhouse, plus a few pigs on the lower fields and the stables currently containing three horses. There were woods with some small-time forestry harvesting, which were subsidised by the EU, so there were some concerns about the future of some aspects of the farm. There were lots of interesting walks and rides which Daniel said she was welcome to try when the weather improved. Again, Marina mused, another reference to what appeared to be an invitation to prolong her stay at the Medcalf residence.

After the tour of the house, Daniel found some old green wellies that fitted her in a cupboard in the garage and they set off to visit the horses. Daniel had mucked them out early in the morning, replacing their bedding with fresh straw and water and hay for fodder. The stables smelt warm and fresh. The horses seemed so big up close and yet so friendly, and they loved being made a fuss off. Marina had never ridden a horse before, except a vague recollection of a donkey ride on a beach, back when her mother was alive. She regarded Daniel with some trepidation when he said they had plenty of tack and safety helmets, so if she wanted to, she could ride out with him later. He wanted to take a horse out immediately after lunch and check on his sheep, allowing enough time get back to the house before dark.

Apparently the farm manager and family, who were originally from the north country, were on a week's holiday visiting relatives prior to Christmas and would be back on Christmas Eve, just before the Medcalfs decamped to London. Marina didn't want to slow down Daniel's obvious enthusiasm, so she agreed to accompany him by horseback and they would go out immediately after lunch. Daniel thought that Sophie would probably be keen to come out with them as well if she was back in time. Sophie hadn't ridden since half term, which getting on for five or six weeks previously. Then, Daniel laughed, Sophie had gone out riding every day for long periods, apparently glad of her own company, while Daniel admitted that was obsessed with finishing the book, which was so close to completion at the time.

After the tour of the stables they clambered through the thick snow drifts to the polytunnels. They were in the next field to the right of the house, long rows of four or five ten-foot wide tunnels with a long brick building in front of them and a car park in front of the building, with its own drive to the tiny country lane in front of the house.

Daniel unlocked and let them into the brick building and then through to the first tunnel. Marina was surprised at how hot it was in there, the place filled with racks of seedlings and salad crops. The heating came from gas-fired heaters, all temperature controlled. Daniel showed her how the irrigation and plant feeding was all automatically controlled, as long as the water pipes didn't freeze up. It was fantastic. Here were also electric lamps so that the light could also be controlled to supplement the winter sun. He picked her a radish, trimming it with a penknife from his pocket and wiping it before cutting it in half for both to sample. Marina thought it was juicy, spicy and delicious.

How impossible, she thought, to have anything so fresh and in the middle of winter? The second tunnel was similarly stocked, but the rest were empty of plants. Daniel said he had gone out the previous night after Marina had gone to bed and switched on the heaters in the empty tunnels to help reduce the weight of the snow. Because of the curved shape, only a minimal amount of heat was required to ensure the snow didn't build up sufficiently to threaten the integrity of the structure. These empty tunnels would be filled in the coming months with early salad crops for the spring and then tomatoes, cucumbers and squashes for cropping almost throughout the year. They had only just finished harvesting tomatoes and new potatoes for Christmas before the Hammonds had departed for their holiday.

***

Lady Barbara found out from her neighbour (Sophie's former nanny) that she might have a rival for Daniel's affections in the shape of the mythical Marina. Yes, she knew the story of Mason and Marina all too well. She resolved instantly to storm up to the house, despite the inclement weather. The Lady was angry at this fly in the ointment, she wasn't about to surrender her position as mistress-in-waiting in the Medcalf household to some Jill-come-lately, if Daniel had finally decided to put his grief behind him and consider a new relationship.

Although it was less than three-quarters of a mile from the row of cottages to the main house, and she had wrapped up pretty warmly, Lady Barbara was pretty puffed after fighting her way through the thick snow drifts. She rang the front door bell and failed to get any answer. Damn it, she thought, I am virtually a part of this family, I should have a key to the place. Determined not to depart without registering her prior claim with the newcomer at the earliest opportunity, she walked around the side and found the kitchen door open and shouted a greeting up the stairs, still no answer.

She was livid, and Lady Barbara was not the person you'd want to meet when she was in a belligerent mood. Beautiful, sophisticated and charming she might be, but she could be hell on wheels when conditions warranted. After satisfying herself that at least the two potential acquaintances (she refused to grant them the status of potential anything else) weren't in the house, she felt she was able to relax, at least a little. There was nowhere to drive to, she reasoned, and they hadn't walked out the front as there was only one set of prints in the driveway, presumably Sophie's, which were walking away. This meant they were somewhere out the back, in the market garden or the stables or further out if they had taken the horses out with them. She sat in the kitchen with a cup of tea, looking cool, managing to settle herself to be collected and calm, anticipating the imminent arrival of both the object of her affection and her apparent rival.

Lady Barbara was a class act, a still-glamorous former model, a trophy wife who was currently trialling a separation from her multi-millionaire and knighted husband. She removed her boots and coat, hat and gloves and waited patiently, dressed in classic designer labels in which she was supremely confident that she wore so well.

Daniel and Marina entered the kitchen through the back door self-absorbed in each other's company. They were laughing and talking away animatedly, shaking off their coats and helping each other discard their wet boots. Then, as he hung up the pair of coats by the door, Daniel noticed the cool lady sitting quietly and bolt upright at the deal table, with a grim set look on her face.

"Barbara!" Daniel exclaimed with a broad grin, walking straight over to her and welcoming the long-time family friend with a warm embrace as she rose to her feet with a scraping of the chair feet against the stone flags.

"You're the last person I expected to see tramping through all this snow to see us. Everything at home alright, you still have power, heating?"

"No, I'm fine, darling, I just wanted to check that you and Soph were all right, see if you needed any help."

"Oh, Barbara, you are so good to us, what would we have done without you, these last couple of years?" Daniel beamed at her, having dropped his hands to her elbows while she held him by the shoulders.

'Yes, what indeed?', Barbara said to herself.

Marina was a little taken aback by the appearance of this tall, elegantly slim, well-dressed, clearly glamorous and thoroughly sophisticated woman. She looked to be in an intimate relationship with the man of the house, who Marina was only in the last two hours beginning to feel comfortable in the company of once again. The woman actually kissed Daniel warmly on both cheeks as they separated their comfortable embrace. And she called him 'darling'. It was only to be expected, of course, thought Marina, with more than a degree of chagrin. She was shocked at her own reaction to the embracing greeting. Surely she could not be feeling jealous, after such a short introduction into their reacquaintance. Anyone in a relationship with such a hunk as Daniel would have to be on her mettle, of course. No doubt his beloved wife Penny had managed to secure and hold onto him because she was so beautiful as well as evidently confident and distinguished in her chosen field.

His devotion to his late wife seemed so solid, but how long should any man grieve after losing his wife? How long indeed would he? He was clearly a man in his prime, fit, handsome, confident and charming. Was two years sufficient when compared to the premature curtailment of a lifetime's companionship? Now this woman seemed to be cut from exactly the same cloth as his late wife. Beautiful, tall, slim, graceful and dressed exceedingly well. Just the outfit she had on now, which she apparent threw on just to stamp her way through knee-high snow, probably cost more than Marina's entire wardrobe. Damn! What chance did a common and plain dumpy woman of nearly fifty have compared to this lissome apparition? As this particular thought passed through her mind, in the midst of a whirl of emotions, which she appeared to have been orbited by since the day before yesterday, Daniel released his arms from around the glamorous interloper and turned towards his house guest.

"Can I introduce you to a very old friend of mine ..."

'Less of the very old,' thought Marina, trying her hardest to put on her best customer service face, previously reserved for furious mothers who hadn't got their welfare cheque from the Post Office counter this week, or complaining that the half-price margarine offer running for the past fortnight had ended or sold out of stock, to decorate her face with the most disarming of her retinue of false smiles.

"... Marina Shaw, who is staying with us for a few days. This is Lady Barbara, she was Penny's oldest and best friend."

Marina suddenly felt deflated. She felt like the home help rather than any potential home maker in comparison to this veritable vision. 'Lady Barbara, huh!?' she thought to herself, her resolve visibly shrinking like morning mist faced with hot bright sunlight. 'How could a shop girl, currently unemployed unwanted, compete with an actual Lady of the Realm?'

That was Marina's thought until Daniel actually completed the introduction. It didn't go unnoticed by either woman that Lady Barbara was described as his dead wife's best friend while Marina was described as Daniel's very old friend. It was only a small thing, but for both women the devil was in the fine detail.

Lady Barbara's first impression of Marina was, she had to say, a bit of a relief. Keeping her eyes open to the barest of slits she had examined this interloper from head to foot while indulging in an extravagant tactical cuddle with the common object of desire, clearly, of both the otherwise unattached women. A poor, dumpy creature, Barbara thought, little if any make-up, hair a natural nothing lifeless colour with a few gleefully-observed traces of grey. Definitely no make-up on closer observation, her cheeks simply overly reddened by the cold without the protection of essential moisturising oils. Her clothes were a joke, Lady Barbara thought she had seen better in the Worthing charity shops, where she often deposited her own last season-dated designer cast-offs. Just as she was thinking that elimination of this pathetic creature as a rival was going to be too easy, Daniel introduced Barbara as his dead wife's friend, not his particular friend or even by any close association with the present family.