Hi all! Sorry for the little delay. Here's the second to last installment! Just as a heads up, there is NO SEX in this part. Thanks!
PART 7
Chapter 18
Rian had been right about the legal aspect of stealthing; there was nothing to be done. However, the Sexual Assault Network turned out to be my saving grace. They worked with my university to inform my professors that I would be needing extensions on some assignments, and they got me in to see a therapist within the week. The only problem I couldn't seem to resolve was Austin. He still worked at the coffee shop and seeing him on shifts was excruciating.
Austin insisted that I was overreacting. He said I must have felt him take off the condom while we were fucking, so my lack of a response in that moment made it my fault. He tried unsuccessfully to get me to hook up with him a few more times, but he started leaving me alone when Goose and Mia gave him the cold shoulder. He eventually quit The Grind because of it. Good riddance.
I hadn't told anyone other than Rian and Ruth about what happened; all Goose and Mia knew was that suddenly I was adamant about not inviting Austin to any parties or nights in, and they trusted me when I told them it was for a good reason. I think they sensed that something had happened between us, but beyond that, I don't know what they thought.
I started going to therapy once a week. My therapist was a woman named Leah. She couldn't have been more than 30 years old, which definitely made me feel more comfortable discussing my sex life with her. She was completely non-judgmental and assured me that I had done nothing wrong. She did, however, come to the conclusion that I had bigger emotional attachment issues aside from the stuff with Austin.
She told me that what was going on with my parents wasn't uncommon and that it doesn't mean I need to change how I see my childhood. I understood her reasoning, and the psychology behind it all was fascinating; accepting it, however, was more difficult. She said that our biggest goal was to create boundaries, specifically when it came to my parents asking me to do their dirty work. She also thought it might be a good idea to be abstinent for a while, just until I sorted out my life a little, because apparently, I resorted to casual sex to fill an emotional void.
This meant that I hadn't seen Charlie for quite a while. I still saw Goose at work and at random parties and such, and I appreciated that I had a friend in him. Interestingly enough, Goose and Ruth actually hit it off one night and had kind of been seeing each other since. Ruth was my rock through everything, and I think the experience only strengthened our friendship. I saw Rian frequently; maybe more frequently that I did when we were hooking up. I spent a lot of time with him, Isaiah, and Mia, and they were all cool with just hanging out at home to eat pizza and play board games. I found myself calling Rian on nights when I was home alone and normally would have called for sex, but I was shocked to find out that he was happy to come keep me company and re-watch Queer Eye.
He was sitting on my couch with me when my mom called. She didn't know about anything that had happened, and I knew this call would be about my dad. I looked at Rian, and he gave me an encouraging smile and whispered, "You got this."
I took a breath and answered.
"Hi, mom, what's going on?"
"Hi baby, you'll never guess what I just found out. Your father's ex got a divorce because she
cheated
on her ex-husband. You know what that means."
"No, mom, I don't." I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose and scrunching up my eyes.
"It means once a cheater, always a cheater! She must be getting your father to cheat on me! His dinners with her haven't stopped, and he keeps telling me that I'm being jealous and paranoid."
"Maybe, mom, I don't know. Neither of us know. Only dad and her can know what's going on."
My somewhat philosophical answer caught her off-guard.
"I—yes, Dot, I guess you're right..." She said suspiciously. "But I need a favor. Your friend from high school still works at Rosemary, right? I need you to talk to him and ask if your dad was being romantic with that woman."
I scoffed, appalled at what was being asked of me. "Mom, his name is Jack and he's my ex. We don't talk. Besides, that is way too big of a favor. I need you to stop putting me in the middle of this."
"What do you mean, Dot?"
"I mean, I can't keep spying and communicating for you and dad. I'm done, I won't do it anymore. I thought I was okay with it but I think it has impacted me more than I care to admit, so... you need to just talk to him."
"Dot, where the he—"
"I can't talk about this right now, mom." I cut her off. "But I'll call you this weekend. I love you."
I hung up and closed my eyes. When I opened them, Rian was staring at me, a huge smile plastered across his face, and he told me something I'd never forget: "I'm proud of you."
Chapter 19
With everything going on, my acceptance to the Reproductive Rights and Health Congress kind of fell off my radar. This is, until February 1
st
rolled around and I got an email reminding me that I had to accept or reject my offer within the next two weeks. I decided to talk to Ruth.
I left the warmth of my bed and ran to my closet to pull on a sweatshirt and slippers before heading down to the kitchen where Ruth was making dinner for both of us.
"Hi babe, dinner will be ready in 10 or so." She said when she heard my footsteps enter the room.
"It smells amazing. Thanks for cooking." I marveled at how Ruth could make plain pasta and sauce smell like a 5-star Italian restaurant.
