In Which Innocence is displayed on film and is shown together with an old friend.
It was Dodie who reminded Innocence of the interview she'd had with Fuck Films Today and her appearance in Forbidden Love. "It seems absolutely ridiculous to me that you should be working for virtually nothing at the Fierzehn, especially as you don't really like music, when you could be earning a hell of a lot more in fuck films."
"I'm not sure I want to be filmed fucking people," Innocence retorted.
"Don't be silly. You were happy enough having sex with Nancy Shittits or whatever her name was. If that's not being filmed fucking what is? And you only got a little amount of money for that! Come on! They're always auditioning for people to star in fuck films. Look at these ads in the paper!" Dodie showed her lover some of the adverts in the evening paper. There certainly didn't seem to be any shortage of demand.
Innocence took the paper from her naked lover's hand, and still with one arm around Dodie's shoulders - it was the only way to prevent herself falling off the bed - she scrutinised the details. "For a chance to appear in a Fuck Film with a difference!" "Guys! How big's your dick! Show it off to its best advantage in your best mates!" "Wanted! Girls with Big Busts! Guys with Thick Pricks!"
"I don't like the sound of any of these," admitted Innocence.
"Oh, don't be silly!" insisted Dodie. "You're just not reading it right. What about this one. 'Bizarre film needs Bizarre stars!' If you're not bizarre, who is?" She cheekily caressed Innocence's penis. "Go on! Give it a chance!"
Fortunately, the day of the audition coincided with Innocence's day off, so she was able to turn up with Dodie keeping her company. Half of her was eager to be accepted and to get into a career that she knew would enable her to stop having to spend her nights behind a bar with her eardrums assaulted and her dignity constantly threatened by the attention of the clientΓ©le. The other half of her felt somewhat ill at ease at the idea of being fucked or fucking in front of the camera (although the idea somewhat stimulated her as well, as Dodie wouldn't stop reminding her). She certainly wasn't sure she felt that much at ease with the others being auditioned. Many were actually rather ordinary, rather plain, people whose bizarreness apparently consisted in the extremes of behaviour they were more or less willing to indulge in to gain an honest living. Others were bizarre in a quite obvious way. A woman with a beard. A man with a very long but thin penis which he seemed to relish waving around the place. A pigmy woman. An oldish woman with breasts that lacked body but trailed down to her waist. A fat woman who was so large that she occupied almost all the space of a sofa. A slim woman whose breasts were so small that only the presence of a very natural vagina could convince anyone that she was really a woman at all.
When Innocence's turn to be interviewed came up, the interviewer was at first convinced that it was Dodie who was the interviewee and seemed visibly disappointed when it was Innocence who sat down on the chair opposite. He scratched his beard and peered at her through the thick plastic lenses of his glasses. "So what do you do that makes you suitable for a bizarre film. Do you like animals fucking you? Do you enjoy eating turds? Can you crack nuts in your cunt?"
"No, not at all! That sounds disgusting!" winced Innocence.
"So why come to an audition for bizarre fuck films if you don't like bizarre things? Do you like being beaten up? Do you enjoy drinking piss? Can you get a fist up your arse-hole?"
As Innocence shook her head sadly at each disgusting suggestion, she could see that the interviewer was getting visibly more annoyed. She looked rather forward to leaving. Clearly fuck films just weren't for her. But it was Dodie who abruptly came to her rescue: "It's not what Innocence does, but what she is that makes her bizarre?"