The operations center bustled with men and women from every part of HQ. As Brice weaved through the people, he wondered what everyone was doing this early in the morning. It looked like busy work to him. They were probably all planning more useless meetings for him to attend. Smiling, he realized that he didn't care. As long as he saw Clay again tonight, he didn't care how many meetings he had to sit through.
Brice strode around the tables and desks and reached his message slot. He checked for memos and then picked up a couple of request forms from supply. Just as he turned to leave, he spotted Rea in the doorway of his office. Rea gestured for Brice to come over, but he had a phone tucked to his ear.
"I know. Luna said he's teething. Having teeth ripping through anyone's gums would hurt like hell." Rea talked into the phone and motioned for Brice to sit across from his wide oak desk. "Karma, I--" When Brice paused at the threshold, Rea once more waved to the cushioned green chair in the center of the room. "That? I can do that, Kitten."
Brice stared at Rea's office while the man finished his conversation. He eyed the neatly organized files in black baskets against the far wall.
"Well, now." Rea sat in his rolling office chair as his voice dropped to a whisper. "If we can do that, I'll get you a five-man team to babysit, and I will clear my entire schedule for the day." He grinned broadly. "I'll be in our bedroom waiting." He hung up the phone and turned to face Brice.
"I only have a minute." Rea grinned again, and for the first time, Brice understood that stupid happy expression on the man's face. Before Clay, Brice could never understand Rea and Karma or even Gears and Luna. They walked around like the world was filled with nothing but roses and wine. Now Clay did that to Brice.
"Meeting Karma?"
"Yes, so this is only gonna take a second." Rea snatched a folder from his desk and slid the file across to Brice. "Sign those."
"Fine." Brice flipped the cover open and glanced at the orders. "What are they?" Clay's name stood out at the top of the paper.
"I was supposed to drop those orders to you a few days ago, but they got buried." Rea waved to the papers in the baskets. "It's nothing new. I want to take a couple of your recruits for an assignment. Easy work. Just need your authorization." Rea rose from his chair and walked to a square mirror next to the exit. He fixed his hair. "Karma said we could spend the day together while Luna babysits." He glanced back at him. "Sign and get out."
Brice scanned the document. Rea was right. These orders were nothing new. In the past, if recruits were training particularly well, Rea sometimes had them go on a few light missions. Getting them out in the field was a good test. The easy assignments let them get their feet wet.
He flipped to the paper tucked under the first. The person who would partner with Clay was Abdul. His stomach clenched painfully at the idea of Clay with his old boyfriend for this first mission. Here it was. It was staring. Brice felt like he'd swallowed razorblades.
As the weeks passed, somewhere along the way, Brice had gotten comfortable with Clay. Brice loved the nights with him, listening to music and holding him, and the sex was phenomenal. He loved the man like the dope he was. And now, the missions would begin. Clay would get his first taste of adventure. His shepherd would be saving Abdul. They would be holding each other and exploring and having fun. The excitement would run in Clay's blood until the nights on the couch with Brice would no longer interest him. Brice would be forgotten. Soon Brice would be thought of as a few nights of good sex, and then one day, Clay wouldn't come back again. Brice knew it would happen, but for some reason, he wasn't ready for the goodbye.
"Pen?" Rea went around his desk and tossed a pen at Brice. "All good soldiers should carry a pen."
Brice caught the writing instrument. Biting his tongue from saying he had a pen on him, Brice held the inky tip over where his name belonged.
Over the years, Brice had signed many of these. His fingers shook. This was precisely why sleeping with a recruit was a shit idea. He didn't want Clay to go, but that's why they trained the recruit--To leave on a mission. What if his shepherd got hurt and never came back to HQ? What if he got Snow Flu? Brice exhaled. That shouldn't matter to him. Eventually, Clay would never return to Headquarters unless he stopped to pick up a new assignment or a new gun.
The document stared at him. Didn't he say he wouldn't help build Clay's career or cry over him when he left? Brice said their relationship wasn't permanent. He was the one who stated that they wouldn't marry and his heart would stay intact.
All he had to do was sign his name and kiss Claymore Wicks goodbye.
"Brice?" Rea cleared his throat. "I'm going to be straight with you. I want to be with my wife before I kill people. Sign the fucking paper and get out of my office."
"Yes." Brice's fingers hovered. "I'll sign it." Why was this so damn hard?
"Damn it." Rea snatched the folder from his hands and then leaned against the desk. "That's a lie. Now, what's your problem?"
"I don't have a problem."
