"I'm tellin' ya... Seldon is squeaky clean! We've dug into everything about him and we can't find one damn thing to use against him! He's never even gotten a fucking parking or speeding ticket in his life!" the EPA rep exclaimed in frustration.
The Congressman from Texas leaned forward and said, "What about the bug that was planted in his office. Didn't one of you say we'd gotten a recording that sounded like he was having sex with some woman in his office?!!"
The Oil Industry lobbyist replied sarcastically, "Oh yeah... there was no mistakin' that he was having sex. We thought for sure we had him then because the woman kept calling him 'Senator Seldon' and was asking him if she was bribing him well enough to continue getting her funding! But when we asked around to find out who the woman was, we realized it was no good because it turned out to be his wife! Ya can't very well bribe a man with a recording of him fuckin' his own wife!!!"
The EPA rep spoke again. "And we've gone over the financial statements and records of that Earth Friendly Futures organization that his wife runs and there is not one cent unaccounted for! She doesn't even draw a salary for all her work administering that organization! Every fucking dime they get goes strictly toward paying for the research equipment, travel expenses and nominal salaries for their scientists! And their scientists are not living like kings while traveling... they stay in modest hotels. The only things they splurged on were some expensive, imported foreign fuel-efficient hybrid vehicles for their scientists to drive! The worst we could accuse them of is trying to undermine the American automakers and the oil industry!"
The Auto Industry lobbyist snorted and snarled at the oil lobbyist and the Texas Congressman, "Your fuckin' deal with those damn OPEC towel heads is gonna be the downfall of this country! If the auto industry here hadn't been in such a downward spiral because of all the foreign automakers who moved in and started pumpin' out millions of smaller, more fuel-efficient cars while OPEC was fuckin' with the price of gas all those years, the American automakers would've told ya all to go fuck yourselves! They were on the verge of comin' out with a viable electric car in the seventies but the battery technology wasn't there yet, and by the time that caught up in the mid eighties, the automakers were just scrambling to stay afloat! If they hadn't needed your damn 'hush money' just to stay in business, they'd have never gotten into bed with you fuckers! Megan Richards would just love to learn that she's been right all along... America has been takin' it up the ass by OPEC for over thirty years now and you fuckers are our goddamned greedy pimps!"
The Texas Congressman finally got over his shock at the barrage of insults hurled at him and growled as he jumped to his feet, "Now you just see here, you little bastard! Oil companies are not the only greedy industry leading to the downfall of this country! Even Wall Street and the goddamn banking industry are jumpin' into the fray! They're drivin' the price of stocks back up so high and so fast since 9/11 that they've got everybody believin' the U.S. economy is in the best shape it's ever been even though we're trillions of dollars in debt! And the goddamn banks are takin' over more and more loans for people who can't really afford the high priced housing that's out there right now! And they damn well know that bubble is gonna burst! So don't you keep pointin' your goddamned finger at us! The oil companies may well be the only ones left with enough money to bail this country out when that bubble finally bursts! Hell... they may just buy up all the U.S. government's debts that they've sold to China and take over the country themselves! They've even hinted that I'd make a good president!" he finished smugly as he sat back down.
"Gentlemen... gentlemen!" the Senator from Michigan said as he sat forward, trying to calm the situation. "We are not here to blame each other for everyone's greed. We are ALL greedy bastards... there's no denying that! Otherwise, we wouldn't be sitting here trying to figure out how keep an honest man from finding out what we've been up to! And that's the point... we have to figure out how to stop Seldon and his subcommittee from taking any action once they start getting those reports from the EFF scientists."
He glanced around as everyone grudgingly nodded their heads in agreement. "Now... since we haven't been able to dig up anything on Seldon and his wife, start digging into their families. There's got to be someone with some deep, dark secret that they wouldn't want to come out... no family can be that perfect! And if that doesn't work, then we'll have to come up with something else!"
One of the other Senators added, "Maybe we should try to take care of the source. Maybe we could do something to put the EFF organization out of commission..." she stated darkly.
"Like what?" the EPA rep asked with concern as he and the others sat forward.
She shrugged noncommittally. "Like... make sure their scientists don't get around to finishing their research," she suggested.
"And how would we do that?" another Senator asked. "It's not like they have a single research facility where all of their scientists work. They're spread out all over the country and we don't even know exactly how many and who's working for them!"
The New York Senator's eyes narrowed as she replied, "That's even better. I'm sure EFF keeps a list of their employees and their whereabouts in their computer files. I've got someone who can access that information and I've got some contacts that I'm sure would be happy to help... if the price is right. Shall I contact them, gentlemen?" she asked gravely as she quirked an eyebrow and glanced around.
Everyone sat back as they each gave her a solemn nod, so she added, "I suggest we also look into some alternatives that aren't quite this drastic. This will probably be expensive and take a little time to coordinate and accomplish. If we can find some other means, then we won't have to go through with this one... this will be our back-up plan. Agreed?" she asked and saw the others nodding.
The Senator from Michigan spoke up again. "Very well. And I think I have an idea..."
**********
Several weeks after that clandestine meeting in early 2005, Robbie and Crystal were very publicly approached by police officers and asked to accompany them in for questioning while having dinner with family and friends at a Georgetown restaurant. Everyone was in shock, most of all Senator and Mrs. Robert Seldon as they had no clue what on earth they had done!
They discovered the police were questioning them on evidence they had received anonymously that Crystal had been embezzling hundreds of thousands of dollars of the government funding for EFF into a personal Swiss bank account set up in both their names! The police questioned them separately and got the same dumbfounded reaction from both of them... neither one of them seemed the least bit nervous and remained steadfastly calm in their denial that they had done anything like that.