Philip lay on the bed of room four-twelve, his head propped on a folded pillow, fingers intertwined cupping his cranium. His shoes were off and his stockinged feet rested in Ai's little lap. He was in a pensive mood.
Philip was a believer in the dictum that 'you get what you pay for' with the slight modification that if you got something for free you still had to earn it. Contemplating the treatment he had already received from Mei and Ai, and that which he felt sure was to come, he sought a way to pay for it.
Before all this started his life had been weighed down by a loneliness heavier than he had realized. Being the son of a busy real estate mogul didn't make for an emotionally fulfilling youth and four years as guest of the State didn't fill his early adulthood with meaningful connections either. So, as he matured after leaving the penitentiary, he came to recognize his temperament for what it was, resigned himself to make the best of the loner personality he inherited, and took satisfaction where he could.
That was until Mei Chun. She changed everything.
Blackmailing her had changed him in ways he was still trying to catalog. He felt more gregarious in everyday encounters, no longer looked down on people who he felt were less intelligent, and was more patient with the IT managers that had previously driven him crazy with government speak. He had greater confidence. Looking back a few days, he thought about how he had dealt with the Kenisha situation. Before Mei he might have taken a more aggressive and confrontational approach. One that, in retrospect, would not have worked as elegantly as his calm and indeed friendly method had. But by some new instinct he empathized with Kenisha, recognized her fragility, fear and anger. He didn't think about it at the time but now ascribed this new sensitivity to Mei's influence.
In short, Mei had changed him, forced him to reassess himself and his future. But was he now the kind of guy to live the life that she, like Lucifer upon the mountain top, tempted him with? Each hour that went by made the prospect of living with three or four stunning young women in his house seem more and more reasonable.
Then, as he did when thinking along these lines, his thoughts drifted to Sarah. He reflected upon what Mei had said. Could she have been right? Was Sarah in love with him? Secretly yearning to have his child? Now that he had time to mull it over he recalled more signs that, in hindsight, seemed suspiciously indicative of a woman in love.
Like he did so often in prison, he let the memory of his obsession for her course through him. She was a very fine woman, in all respects. Kind but no pushover, someone who knew what had to be done in any situation. She was strong and he liked strong women. Sarah was iron when she needed or wanted to be. Yet when she desired to give of herself she was soft, accommodating, solicitous even.
In prison he had fantasized about marrying her and would have had she not seemed to have grown cold when he saw her that first time upon release.
'What had she said?'
She seemed, now that he looked back with a new perspective, somehow uncharacteristically fretful and reticent. He thought a couple of weeks later, when she told him about dating Mitch, that she had been trying to tell him that their relationship was at an end or at least going to be radically different. However, after working over Mei's conjectures, he saw that perhaps she was waiting for him to indicate his intentions. To step forward and proclaim his feelings for her. And he had not.
'Shit!' He thought, with Ai looking fixedly at him, her angelic smile soothing and kind, 'maybe Mei was right? And now that Mitch is out of the picture...?' Then he scolded himself, 'What am I thinking? I can't handle these two much less Sarah.'
But surely he had been right. He had felt convinced she didn't want things to progress further. Back when they first started 'dating' she knew he was just months from incarceration and he didn't resent her keeping an emotional distance. And as he rotted in prison, and even more so afterward, Sarah's life had veered away from his, and while they exchanged light hearted letters and were still friends, that friendship had changed. They were older now and their priorities had matured. Sarah now had her doctorate and was director of the center and Philip had sought to earn his own living and manage his father's wealth as a caretaker would.
'But that look she gave me that first time out... and that thing she'd said... what was it? What did she say that made me wonder for months afterward?' Try as he might he could not remember and he let it escape. He felt, as though it were a taste in his mouth, a need to shunt aside thoughts of her, a woman he liked to think of as a girlfriend rather than a whore he knew. But now was not the time to regret past mistakes and missed opportunities. Not with Ai rubbing his feet.
With just a look into her eyes, witnessing what seemed to be her complete contentment, his thoughts came back to the present. 'How did I get so lucky?' He wondered, not for the first time. 'How come God loves me so much? What did I do to deserve her?' But, like with his father's money, he knew there was no answer forthcoming, no possible reason that could have caused providence to have blessed him so. It was dumb luck rather than merit that put him in this position.
It was a lifetime of being surrounded by things he hadn't earned that was the origin of his dictum: The only way to deal with unearned fortune was to find a way to earn it. It was how one could stay sane, motivated and moral. And remembering this duty caused him to feel his responsibility with a disturbing urgency. He suspected that his self-assessed debt would simply mount and mount until it loomed like a skyscraper before him. He didn't want to find himself in that position because he knew it might kindle a resentment in him.
Despite his recent foray into sexual domination, if not outright abuse of Mei, Philip had a naturally nurturing character and delighted in fulfilling the unspoken needs of those he cared for, few as they had been. The trouble was, with Ai at least, there were no apparent needs for him to pamper. And while whipping Mei to orgasm was nice and all, and he was glad to give her the therapeutic as well as erotic satisfaction from it, he felt that he could do more for her as well. But what form that 'more' could take escaped his notice for the time being. Money was no good. He had the means to drown both of them with gifts but it had no significance to him, which was crucial. Buying baubles would not settle his sense of obligation.
'What do women want?' he asked himself. But the answer was already present before his mental lips stopped moving. Women wanted the time and attention of the man they loved. He figured there was no substitute for an hour in a coffee shop, or twenty minutes folding laundry together, or a walk around the neighborhood. Shopping with them would be good, surprise gifts were always welcome, especially if there was sufficient thought behind them, and a date every couple of weeks would go along way toward helping him cope with the imbalance he felt was sure to accrue.
He let those tentative plans suffice for the moment and, the issue temporarily resolved, let his conscience relax and felt the massaging of his feet for the first time since she started - only to be disturbed seconds later by Mei's knock at the door. His contemplation collapsed to be replaced by annoying thoughts of what might have happened between her and Tim.
Ai paused her massage. "I'd better let her in." She gently moved his feet, stood and hurried to the door.
"How did it go?" she asked Mei as they walked back together.
"Fine," she said casually as she entered the room. At the foot of the bed she curled one leg, sat and began to undress. "I left before he got back then realized I left my phone and didn't know what room you were in."
Ai stood behind her, caressing her shoulders.
"I had a talk with him," Philip offered, "gave him some options."
"What kind of options?"
Ai saw that Mei didn't take up her massage of his feet. Of course, she hadn't known about it but that didn't prevent Ai from noting her lost opportunity.
"Just that I'd set him up with another apartment and pay for some girls if that's what he wanted."
"That was nice of you."
"He said he liked sex," he said with a shrug.
Mei stood and Ai helped her off with her skirt then gently removed the pearls and lay them on the dresser.
"Was that all?" she asked.
