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Chapter 33

It was easy to forget the world existed and get lost discovering what Katie liked, loved, and needed. The more I explored her body, the deeper my obsession got. She was changing, like a child learning to walk. I was elated to experience her sexual awakening and at the same time my emotional one finished its slumber. Being with Katie felt new, but so sinfully right.

I'd spent most of my life burying my emotions, but I was starting to realize they were still there, just deep under the surface. It had been a long time since fear was a factor in my life. Carter had beaten the fear of pain and death out of me years ago.

What I feared now was a look of terror in Katie's eyes. I felt guilty when I saw it, doing everything I could to replace it with one of passion or desire. It was just a temporary Band-Aid on the root of Katie's issues, but for me it was enough.

I hid the downside of my emotional turmoil from Katie. That worked well. The people who annoyed me while I was out on a supply run got to live, not knowing I'd planned their death to the final breath. I realized at the last moment they weren't my targets. Jorge Riaz and Paul Donnelly, on the other hand— well, they were safe too, for the moment.

Katie and I sat snuggled as one on the couch a few days after Joe's visit. Joe gave me a burner cell and he'd called a few times. I'd ignored the calls. I was still pissed about a lot things and had yet to open the package he'd provided. If I did, I'd go after them. Joe was right; staying locked safely away with Katie was too good to give up. He was easy to ignore as Katie consumed my every thought.

Our bodies were so entwined I couldn't tell where she stopped and I began. Her hair smelled sweet, her skin salty and warm. I caressed her cheek and kissed the tip of her nose. She sighed and closed her eyes. I was tempted to pull her off the couch because whenever she was awake, so was Little Drew. I pushed the urge down, trying to let her rest.

She sighed. "We should come up for air at some point."

I nuzzled her neck and whispered in her ear, "I'd rather drown."

"Look, Corny Horny Man, I'm serious. This is so not healthy." Katie frowned at me.

"Is that my superhero name now?" I said, planting a soft kiss on her neck. I kissed her chin, then nibbled on her jaw.

"Doesn't Little Drew ever go down? Jared, please. I'm trying to ask you something here," Katie panted, breaking the kiss.

"What do you need, Katie?" I put on a serious face.

She rolled her eyes and pulled away, putting a distance between us I didn't care for at all. "Well, we're not in danger, right? Joe told you that Carter guy doesn't really have people out trying to kill us anymore?"

"Yes," I answered. I'd given her a brief rundown on why Joe had been here, but I'd omitted the Donnelly/Cantana connection completely. She'd already taken his involvement in her rescue hard. I wasn't sure she could handle hearing he'd actually been partially responsible for her captivity. I was trying to make the world as safe for her as possible, until I could make it her reality.

"So we don't have to stay locked up here. It's safe to go out, right?" Katie turned so she was sitting a little further away. There was a hint of excitement in her voice.

"It's complicated. Plus you're a celebrity again," I said firmly.

"I doubt the story is local. There's not even a TV here to check." Katie pouted.

"There's internet. You can watch anything you want on the laptop. Or I could hook up a monitor to the computer or something. It's not safe for you to leave right now." I sounded grumpy even to my own ears.

"Grrr. I'm saying I want to go out. Like on a date or something," Katie said shyly.

"Not a good idea." I kissed her, trying to stop the conversation before it escalated into an argument. Katie pulled away from me.

"I'm getting stir-crazy locked up here all day. As much fun as we're having, I don't want to feel like a prisoner." She blushed and ducked her eyes.

"You're not!" I stared at her. "I'm sorry. I never wanted to make you feel like that. Shit, really? Is that the way you feel?"

Her head snapped up, confusion in her brown eyes. "That's not what I meant. I don't feel like a prisoner or whatever. That's not what I'm trying to say. I just mean I want to go out. That's all." She moved closer but I held my hand up in a gesture asking her to stop, so she did.

After a long pause, "Okay." I wasn't comfortable with the idea, but if staying locked up with me was going to trigger her I'd rather not.

She smiled and moved closer, putting her hands on my shoulders and giving me a quick kiss on the lips. "So when and where are we going?"

"Eager to get away from me," I responded. I wrapped her in my arms and pulled her against my chest. I kissed her lips again, then her chin and moved down to her neck inhaling her sweet scent the entire time.

Katie giggled.

"Not you. Here," she murmured. "Okay, it can wait. But sooner rather than..." Her voice trailed off as I nibbled on her nipple through the t-shirt. Yes, leaving the cabin could wait—for a little while, at least.

Chapter 34

Jared picked me up and put me over his shoulder. I giggled as he carried me up to the loft. I always felt secure on his shoulder. It was the safest place in the world, being carried by him. He dumped me on the bed and quickly removed his clothing, rushing out of them as if they were painful in some way. I laughed as he tripped onto the bed, his feet tangled in his jeans. He was so damn cute sometimes.

He crawled up the bed and lay down next to me, his hands going automatically behind his head, offering his body for my exploration. I went to my knees and just stared down at him. He was so beautiful, such an erotic vision. I could spend hours exploring him with my hands, lips, and tongue.

We could leave the house tomorrow, or the next day, hell, next week for all I cared. I kissed his lips quickly and licked down his neck. My exploration went south until I had one of his nipples in my mouth. He groaned as I sucked it between my teeth and gently nibbled.

I licked my way back up to his shoulders and kissed a few of his scars. We'd discussed the ones on his arms. They were uniform, increasing in size and depth as if made by a machine. He'd explained that Carter had inflicted the wounds as part of his training. Even as detached as he was about it, what he described sounded like torture to me. Jared said it taught him what he could handle physically and helped him interrogate people when necessary. I tried not to think too hard about what that meant as I kissed the lightest one, almost at the fold of his elbow.

My hands greedily stroked his stomach, down his happy trail until I was holding his throbbing cock. I stopped mid-stroke and released him, sitting back on my heels. After a brief hesitation, I lifted off my t-shirt, closing my eyes tight for a moment, instantly nervous. When I opened them Jared was staring at my naked body.

His eyes raked over me so hard I could feel his gaze along my skin. He smiled, giving me a look that made my insides tingle and I forget I had so many scars. His eyes were raw desire, as if I had a flawless body. I could see it in his intense gaze. Jared thought I was the most beautiful woman in the world, scars and all.

I sighed. "I love you, Jared." It slipped through my lips before I had a chance to filter. Where had that come from? But it was out, no take backs. I felt as if my heart stopped.

"I love you, too, Katie," he replied softly. My heart started beating again—a bit irregular, but it was thumping. There was no hesitation. There was no doubt. I felt as exposed as I could be, but he meant each word. Tears filled my eyes as I felt his love completely. I fell back on my heels and absorbed him into my heart and soul.

"You okay?" he asked, leaning up on his elbows.

I stared silently, still a bit shocked by the exchange, then nodded. "Just give me a minute."

"Okay." He moved his hands back behind his head, but I could tell he wanted to pull me into his arms. When my brain started working again I had a wicked thought. The smile that claimed my lips told him as much and he returned my grin.

"Did you buy them?"

"Yes." He frowned. "I don't want to use them. I promised you I..."

I cut him off. "Where are they? I want to use them."

"Katie, no." He went up to his elbows as I hopped off the bed.

"There in the drawer, still in the bag."

I retrieved the item in question, love cuffs purchased at a sex shop. They looked nothing like I expected, though I'm not sure what I expected. They were fluffy pink cottonballs attached to a strip of stretchy cloth that closed with a small square of Velcro. Each cuff was connected with a silver hoop in the center. They would give me a sense of being restrained but not really. For what I had in mind the love cuffs were perfect.

He looked nervous. "You can slip out of them anytime. I'll slip them over your wrists this time if you insist on using them."

"I do," I said. "Behind my back. I want my hands tied behind my back." I had a theory I was working on and Jared had everything to do with it. I felt secure and comfortable with him. I needed to get over my fear of being tied up. I needed to leave Cantana in my past and Jared was the only person I felt safe enough with to test out my hidden desires.

He relaxed after he placed the cuffs and watched me for a reaction as my hands rested against my bottom. He sat down in front of me and I went to my knees and traced my tongue down his chest over the hard muscles of his stomach, completely unaffected by the restraint. I licked the length of his cock, then kissed the tip softly.

He moaned as his entire body tensed, hissing out a "Yes."

Using my mouth, I licked and stroked him with my tongue until he pulsed, vibrating like an overheated engine. I closed my lips over my teeth and bobbed my head up and down, taking more and more of him in each time until I met his body.

"Katie. Katie, Katie. Oh my Katie. Mine..." he moaned.

He touched my insides with just his voice. I increased my efforts until he was in the back of my throat, my tongue dancing and vibrating along his shaft as I ate all of him. My throat closed around him and I sucked him with all my might.

In the cuffs my hands twitched, but it was as if they weren't even tied. He slipped from my mouth as I kissed down to his balls and licked. He groaned so loud and long that it sounded like he was in pain.

His hands grabbed me by the hair, yanking me off him so quickly that I grazed his tender bits with my teeth. "Shit! Oh fuck! Shit!"

I fell back against the floor, disoriented by the sudden movement. His legs shot out straight, the muscles strained, and his back arched. He was frozen, his upper body locked up, half off the bed as he screamed.

His cock exploded, shooting cum up high, as if suspended in mid-air. At the same time his body spasmed so hard he flopped around the bed. His ejaculation pumped like a geyser for what seemed like forever. Then he fell back, not moving a muscle, save Little Drew, which was still dripping and twitching. I shook off the cuffs and crawled onto the bed to his head, taking his face in my hands. Jared was barely breathing.

"Jared, Jared!" I cried. "Are you okay? What's wrong? What did I do? What's wrong? Jared? Do you need an ambulance?"

His body shuddered under my fingertips and his eyes rolled back into his head so far I could only see the whites. Then they closed and he moaned, "No. Stop. Touching. Me." Each word seemed to take considerable effort.

I didn't know what to do so I put my hands to my face and sobbed. After an agonizing minute his fingers lightly touched my arm.

"Are you trying to kill me, woman?" He smiled weakly, as if he was trying to make a joke. I stared at him shocked.

"What just happened?" I asked. My heart was still pounding so hard I could barely breathe.

"I can see it now," he whispered. His voice was weak and childlike. "Droopy Dick dies from orgasm. I never imagined I'd figure out what heaven was like, but shit. That was it."

I just stared at him. His face was so relaxed it couldn't hold an expression. I bounced between wanting to kill him for scaring me so badly and laughing. I chose the latter, giggling and then cackling with laughter. He smiled some, but he was too weak to laugh with me. He pulled me onto his chest after a brief recovery.

"So I guess that means you don't want me to finish?" I smirked.

"Shit, there's more?" he panted. "Gotta admit, I'm torn. That'd be one helluva way to die. That was like winning the Superbowl—and I've never even played football."

I beamed. His hands stroked my naked back for a long time, tracing lazy little circles up and down my spine.

"Seriously? It was that good for you?" I asked, still a little in awe of my abilities.

"Mm-hmm." That was all he got out, then he snored. His mouth hung open slightly. Jared rarely slept, and he never slept deeply, let alone snored. But he did that night.