I floated in the vast nothingness, the instance between life and complete death reminded me of the eerie time between awake and asleep. I had almost entirely drifted away when, like the piercing shriek of a hawk in the night sky, I heard her voice command me.
Drink. Quickly now.
I pulled together what life was left in me and I obeyed. The thick, iron syrup tasted funny in my mouth before it trickled down my throat. I drank, no energy left in my body to gag. I drank, it took everything I had to inhale her blood, my life depended on it. Her blood...her blood burned like liquid fire down my throat. I tried frantically to pull away but her firm grasp forced her arm harshly to my mouth. The fire pooled in my stomach before jetting out into every vein, muscle and fragment of my being. I could feel the sweat burst through my pores. I thought my eyes would melt out of their sockets. I thought for sure my body would burn the damn world down.
Then, like a light in the depths of hell, I felt Lily's cool skin press up against my back. She put her icy hand on my forehead and I heard her voice, though I wasn't sure if it was in my ears or in my head.
This will hurt like nothing you have ever felt and nothing you will ever feel again. To you it will be an eternity but in actuality it will be somewhere between three and five days. You will want to give up and let the pain consume you, but you have to fight it or you will die. Just when you have reached the point when you think you can take no more, your fever will break, your vision will clear, your heart will stop and you will be reborn. Take solace in knowing that I will be right here next to you until it is over.
It—it was beyond words. Everything hurt. Moving hurt but lying still hurt; noise hurt but so did quiet. Thinking hurt and trying not to think hurt. I fought as best as I could. It felt like what I thought hell would feel like, but ten times worse. I couldn't see, even though somehow I knew my eyes were open. I stared into the vast darkness, looking, searching, hoping for some glimmer of light or color but I got nothing. I heard whispering voices but I couldn't understand them. They nagged at me, never with enough courage to speak loud enough for me to hear. When they stopped, the silence beat down on me like watermelon sized hail. The pressure against my body told me that I was lying down, but I couldn't feel the sheets or the air or even my sweat. I just felt burning. I felt tremendous heat that caused my body to sear with pain, pain like I had never felt before.
Dying wouldn't hurt this much-but I pressed on. Every now and then a flash of cold lit across my body; I knew it was Lily-but it lasted so briefly I mourned its absence. She was right, the only comfort I got was knowing and occasionally feeling that Lily was still there, somewhere on the outside. I felt like I was trapped in an eternal prison, my own personal hell and I would never be set free.
I couldn't do it anymore. I knew my body could probably go on longer but my sprit was broken and I was losing my mind. I was going crazy. The voices murmured louder in the background, the voices of a thousand lost and dead souls that Lily had taken. They whispered of the way things were, the way things should be, the things that they had done and the things that they believed I would do. They told me secrets that I didn't understand. They told me about Lily, though I refused to believe them.
It seemed to last forever, then just like she had said, when I thought I couldn't go on a second longer, my fever broke. I saw flashes of light in the distance, the first thing I had seen in a lifetime of pain and darkness. I could feel the air prickle at the sweat on my body, cooling my skin. The whispers stopped. I felt the heat melt out of me and into the dark abyss, I felt the life drain from my heart, through every artery and vein and molecule of my body and finally out of my finger tips. My heart slowed from beating rapidly, to once every few seconds, until finally it stopped all together. The air escaped from my lungs. I felt myself die before I opened my eyes.
It took me a while to grasp what I saw-it was so complex I thought I was looking at a maze. Tiny white cracks, crevices, valleys and mountains upon millions of miles as far as the eye could see. My focus shifted back like a camera lens and I saw that it was the ceiling. Who knew there was so much detail?
I heard a rumble that grew louder and louder as I focused on it; for sure it had to be a jet plane bearing down on this house hell bent on destroying it. I propped myself up on my elbows. On my chest, curled into a ball was Jinx, purring up a storm.
Pushing him off, I sat up on the bed, discovering no pain or stiffness in my body. I rose slowly, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror; my skin felt smooth and clean, I was wearing black slacks and loafers, a black button up shirt with a matching tie. Lily must have bathed me and dressed me while I was out—it was a shade unnerving, especially considering I had done it to her many, many times. Trying to imagine her having her way with my naked, unconscious form was erotic and arousing. I pushed that thought aside and walked to the door.
I did not recognize the room I was in, nor the small hallway beyond so I took extra care to be quiet as I approached. Max was sitting on the sofa, arms stretched out over the back, one ankle up over the opposite knee. He seemed relaxed, speaking softly. Lily sat casually with one leg up on the bench in front of a window; the evening view looked out over a city far below, bustling with activity. As if she could sense me, she turned her head and her gaze met mine.
"Welcome to the land of the dead, Matthew."
"Thanks?" Max shifted uneasily when I sat down next to him, "What—what happened?" My mind was a jumbled collection of thoughts and memories that weren't mine and it was hard to distinguish what was real and what wasn't.
Sensing my disorientation, she spoke calmly, "Focus on me, Matthew."
I looked at her and it was as if I was seeing her for the first time. I could see her lips flush red like a bright poppy in a field of snow. Her skin, so perfect, I could see every follicle of hair in her eyebrows. Then, I met her gaze. Her beautiful bright blue eyes swirled a mile a minute into the darkness of her pupils like a deadly mystifying hurricane. My mind grew quiet, the voices gone, locked away.
"It will be difficult, but you must remember to focus on the here and now. When those memories speak to you, you must refuse to listen or they'll suck you in. In time, you'll be able to access them." She swung her leg off of the bench before turning towards me. "Jinx woke me up after they took you. He had already sent word to Max, thankfully and not to Lucas. Max was on his way as soon as the sun started to set and he picked me up. The trail was easy to follow—there are a lot of stray cats in that area."
"Just before a cat caught me," Max continued, "I had finally located Ian. I had a tracker placed on his car but before I could do much more, a stray wandered up to me and started howling. I had no idea what it was saying, but Lucas was never one for cats so I knew it had to be Lily. I rushed over and picked her up; we drove fast to catch up with you. We barely made it." Max dropped his gaze away from me, staring at the floor, "Evan was dead and you were almost too. Lily decided to change you."
The moment he mentioned Evan, it was like a bolt of lightning struck me—Lily's memories immediately flooded my consciousness. I saw through her eyes as wolf after wolf got cut down. Max kicked open the door and shot a guard; Lily came in and shot Alpha John as her eyes fell on Evan. I felt the gut wrenching sorrow that consumed her, pain of having her heart torn from her chest, rage at everyone responsible. I saw her raise the gun in her hand only to be stopped by me; I felt her ache as she crawled to me, her fear knowing that she would lose someone else.
"Matthew," her sharp voice drew me back to the present.
I realized I was breathing deeply, almost hyperventilating. I drew in one last breath and held it, before I remembered that I didn't need it at all.
"Stay focused on the present," she said somewhat angrily.
"You know where Ian is?" I asked, refocusing, "Let's go get him."
