The insistent beeping of the alarm nagged Cassy awake. She stretched and pulled herself out of bed. The shower felt good, clearing her head warming her muscles. She dried off and put on the ointment for the first time of the day. It seemed to burn more intensely than yesterday and she rubbed hard at herself trying to relieve the pain, abruptly she felt her clit start to throb against her hand and she gasped and flinched as an unexpected climax shook her. She jerked her hand away in surprise. A wave of guilt came over her. She felt herself spinning away.
Cassy did not know how long she had been sitting in the bathroom. She felt cold. Her cunt had settled down to the familiar warmth and tingle. She grimaced and got up. Her clock said 6:30. She had not been out of it very long.
She dressed in sweats and went down to the exercise room. She ran on a tread mill for about a half hour. She had clipped the timer on her waistband and it went off. She went back to her room and reapplied the ointment. It did not burn so much this time. She rubbed it into her tissues more gently but she sensed a softness and warmth in her feelings. Her whole pelvic area seemed heavier, her muscles loosening. She was both relieved and saddened when the five minutes were up.
It hit her. She was in dread of having an orgasm. Her ambivalence about having orgasms came came a surprise to her. She had always believed she wanted to come but something was wrong with her that kept it from happening. She realized that she had been subconsciously resisting all this time.
She showered quickly and changed into her uniform. She logged onto her computer. The professor had posted her schedule for the day. He wanted to see her briefly right after breakfast. He had scheduled a massage for her in the morning. He wanted to see her for a two hour therapy session after lunch.
She opened her journal. He had reviewed it. He had edited it by changing her text to a lavender and added his comments and questions in bold black. He encouraged her to spend more time talking about her feelings and describe sensations. He prompted her to watch the video again and think about what she was feeling and why. He asked her why she called Mia, 'Miss Mia' rather than 'Momma'.
At the end he asked about her reactions to the letter from her Master, how she thought he may have been feeling when he wrote the letter and how he may be feeling now. He asked if she would like to write a letter back to her Master.
She responded to his question about calling Mia 'Momma', "I don't know. It feels weird to call someone that. I don't remember calling any of my foster parents Mom or Momma. It just never seemed right."
She answered that she had been thrilled to get a letter from her Master but the contents had made her feel awful. "What he said in the letter was true. I was fading away. I don't know exactly how or when I started doing it. It felt right to do it. It seemed like that was what my Master wanted from me, but I don't know why I think that. I would like to write him, if he would permit it. But I am kind of nervous about what I should say."
It was getting close to 7:30 am. Cassy put her timer and her ointment in her purse and walked down to the kitchen. Mia was bustling around the kitchen. "Good morning Cassy, you are my first customer this morning. We usually don't eat a heavy breakfast. We got fruit, yogurts, cereal, toast, juice... Do you drink coffee?"
Cassy shook her head and moved to the table set with plates and bowls in the dining area of the kitchen.
Mia stopped and turned. "Cassy, I greeted you in a happy, polite, socially appropriate way. It would be nice if you could return that kindness."
Cassy froze and felt horrified. "I... I am sorry Miss Mia. I forget to talk sometimes. Um... Good morning. Breakfast sounds wonderful. No thank you, I don't drink coffee." Her face was red with embarrassment.
"That is OK, apology accepted. I am just not going to let you get away with any back sliding."
"Thank you. I think I will need all the help I can get."
Cassy sat down and poured herself a glass of cranberry juice and got a single piece of dry toast. She sat nibbling on the crunchy bread and sipping at the juice. She did not feel very hungry after eating such a big dinner the night before.
Mia turned and frowned. "You are going to need to eat more than that or the Professor will be putting you on a special diet. Believe me girl you will have him in your head enough, you don't need him in your stomach. Now put some cream cheese on that toast and help yourself to some granola with strawberries and one big glass of milk. My orders. I want to see you putting some curves on over those bones."
Cassy sighed and served herself the food Mia recommended and began to force herself to eat. "I just don't feel hungry."
"Cassy, we both know that you go out of your way to avoid feeling much." The Professor's voice was soft. Cassy almost dropped her spoon and scrambled to stand. "I love working with well trained subs. They are so compliant. Sit Cassy, sit down and finish your breakfast."
The Professor moved into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee, took a sip and groaned in pleasure. "Heaven pure heaven, Momma what would I do without your coffee in the morning." He wrapped his arms around the rotund cook and kissed her on the top of the head.
William came in and smiled and stammered, "Goo... good morning." He sat down and helped himself to a bowl of cereal.
The Professor spoke softly with Mia for a while and then turned to Cassy. "Cassy, after you are finished eating wait for me in the library."
"Yes, Professor sir." He nodded, smiled and walked out of the kitchen.
Cassy forced herself to eat every bite and drank down the tall glass of cold milk. She grimaced at the taste. She had never liked milk.
"Miss Mia, thank you for breakfast. And thank you for keeping me from back sliding."
"Us girls got to stick together."
Cassy knew that she was referring to their shared loneliness. "I don't know where the library is."
"Its just across the hall, dear. It looks just like it sounds. Big room, lots of books." Mia pointed at a door on one side of the kitchen. "Just through there and across the hall."
Cassy picked up her dirty dishes, brought them to the dish washing sink and rinsed them off. Mia bustled up. "Thank you, its nice when people do little things to help like that. Here just put them in the dishwasher here. Good girl." Inexplicably Cassy felt a frightening wave of sadness. She turned and hurried out of the kitchen.
The library was filled with books. But it was completely disorganized. Stacks of magazines and paperbacks covered the tables and were piled up on the chairs and couches. All the shelves were filled with oddly mixed up reference books, self help guides, medical journals, fiction and god knows what else. Cassy wandered from one pile to the next looking through them wondering how anybody ever found anything in here.
The door opened and the Professor walked in. Cassy was already standing but she put down the book she was holding and tried to stand up straighter. "Follow me." He turned and left.
He led her down to the basement and went to the locked door leading to the therapy rooms. The hallway was narrow, dark with a low ceiling. The walls and ceiling seemed to be made from heavy rough stone. Dim lights behind heavy iron grates barely lit the way. They passed by several heavy wood doors with obvious heavy locks.
As they passed by one door Cassy was startled when it shook with the thuds of fists beating on inside. Mary's voice was hoarse and raging, "You let me out of here. You can't keep me locked up in this fucking hole. I can hear you out there. My parents will sue your fucking ass off..."
The professor turned to Cassy and smiled and put his finger to his lips, then he turned to the door. "Mary if you are quiet you will hear me say this." The yelling stopped. "Your parents know exactly what is happening. They signed all of the treatment permission forms. You signed all the same forms. I can and will keep you locked in this fucking hole as long as I think it is necessary."
He beckoned for Cassy to follow. He stopped at another door and gestured for her to come close. He spoke in low voice. "I find a direct approach to confronting denial to be the most effective. Now Cassy, I invited you down to assist in Windy's treatment. She is a sad case. She had a Master but could not ever bring herself to submit to his authority. He abandoned her but when she tried to commit suicide he felt responsible and committed her here. She has turned out to be a rare thing in this world. Instead of being submissive, she is a true masochist. She wants and needs pain. When her master would punish her for her failures she found the pain incredibly reinforcing. Instead of teaching her to be obedient he conditioned her to misbehave. She also suffers from a personality disorder that makes it difficult to tell the truth, or understand the feelings and needs of others."
"Inside this room we will find Windy. She has been bound to prevent her from causing herself pain. I find that isolation and boredom to be an effective consequence for Windy when she has broken the rules. Pain is reserved as a reward. I am going to give you her reward. This will involve some very mild pain. If you start to feel like you are disassociating I want you to say "No more." I will help you keep from fading away and you do everything you can to stay in the moment."
The timer in her purse chimed. "Professor sir, Um... It is time for my medicine."
"Give me the jar. Now if this is going to be effective I need you to be a very good actress. I want you to scream and protest. I want you to beg for mercy. It would be very good if you can also let her think you are getting sexually turned on. Moans, gasps, maybe beg me to fuck you at some point. She will be blind folded so she will be imagining much more than what will be exactly happening. Do you think you can do this for me?"
Cassy nodded uncertainly.
"Words girl, words."
