Filmmaer (1 of 3)

Prologue

Only now from a more mature vantage point do I wish I'd had the forethought to prepare for the dramatic changes that would occur to what I had childishly anticipated would be my future. I expected to have a fulfilling one with all the trimmings, achieving my personal, self-actualized lifestyle goals.

Like many tweens growing up, I'd lived under the naive and inane expectation that life is what they told (more like

sold

) you in books and films: "Find the man of your dreams and you will live happily ever after."

What utter tripe!

In my humble opinion, of course.

Perhaps there are those women whose lives actually attain that uninspired, dependent, and quotidian trajectory: Do well in school. Get into a good university. Choose a career and get a satisfying job in said career. Find the perfect man. Have a couple of lovely kids. Balance career and family with aplomb. Have a rewarding and wonderful life. And have consistently amazing orgasms with a handsome and virile husband who hasn't gained a pound since college and who actually pays attention to that wrinkle-, stretch mark-, and sag-free smooth body, still perfect for fitting into that old but timeless LBD (little black dress) -- and for cavorting on some tropical isle in the skimpiest of bikinis (with no need for a built-in bra).

[Big sigh.]

Those women may actually exist. But I've never met one.

As for preparing for my future, well, I had not quite planned any of it. The tortuous path of my life mostly just happened. (Not a ringing endorsement for that lifecoaching career I once considered!)

And that's why at that moment of self-contemplation, two established porn actresses and I, the film's director, were quietly speaking to a young and new-to-the-business woman who was feeling a little sick to her stomach. I suppose it was understandable because in the last ten or twelve minutes she'd swallowed the ejaculates of more than three dozen mostly young guys.

Not a big deal in itself. Every director -- yes, even a porn director -- has the responsibility to make a film or video successful, envisioning how all the scenes, cuts, shots, audio, B-roll, etc., will fit together to make the finished product that viewers will enjoy. In porn, enjoyment is associated with sexual fantasy and the degree to which the viewer "gets busy" with himself. (I know that's sexist but let's face it: Who spends more time watching porn: women or men?) Still, the job includes getting the best performances out of his or her cast.

So, while we were trying to sound understanding we were simultaneously attempting to convince her that the additional ~150ml (about five ounces, now at room temperature and much more pungent than you'd think) of semen from dozens of men in the crystal champagne flute in her hand was going to taste wonderful and get rid of her troubled stomach.

A few of the actresses I'd worked with had told me that they used a hair-of-the-dog approach to a cum-filled upset tummy. I'd heard that sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. Personally, I'd never found the need for a stomach calmer in such a situation. Swallowing semen had always been a pleasurable experience -- and often gave me awesome orgasms -- so perhaps I wasn't being as sensitive as I should have been.

Of course, like all women what she was going through could be relatable. Sometimes the viscosity of semen seems to want to cause someone not used to it to gag or even feel like she's actually going to retch. But I'd helped other young women who wanted to be in a

gokkun

scene to get through it and I knew I could help this one.

The other side of the equation was the fun and even the pleasure of being in such a scene. Let's face it, IRL (in real life) most women have one guy (or at least one guy at a time) and their sex lives are monogamous -- or close to it. They do all the things that a man and a woman might do together.

To most people, even to me, that is considered normal.

But how often in that normal life can a woman (should she have the desire, of course) have the opportunity to play with a bunch of cocks simultaneously? How often in a normal situation does a woman get to taste a broad array of them? How often in a normal situation can a woman have the opportunity to play with and drink a bunch of cum?

That, truth be told, is not normal.

But fetish porn is not about normal. It's about fantasy. Fantasy to masturbate to. Fantasy possibly to think about while actually having sex. Although perhaps hoping that the fantasy will personally come true is probably another fantasy.

Definitely not the norm. But for much of my adult life it had paid the bills -- sometimes in spades!

And so back to our young porn starlet. She looked at us quizzically, smelled the glass and still looked a little like she was going to barf.

As I said: Not the life I'd expected at all. Nor she, most likely.

But that day, like every other one as a director, I had a job to do. It was the last scene of a very long day and everyone was ready to go home. And everyone consisted of a lot of people, mostly the guys who supplied the cum. Usually referred to as jerk-off boys, but I'd heard the terms

soup boys

and

juice boys

and others as well used to describe the mostly nameless and mostly faceless guys. Quite a few had contributed to the loads Kyoko, the young starlet, had already coaxed out of cocks, masturbated into her mouth, ejaculated onto her tongue, and swallowed. Many of the others had poured their hearts and testicles into the glass in her hand. But we had also gotten a bunch more to contribute to this big gokkun scene.

I had requested and planned to do this scene first, much earlier in the day. Doing big scenes early is a mandate/mantra of mine when crew members had the most oomph in them, cast members had the most oomph in them, and testicles definitely had the most oomph in them, but things had not gone as planned. All filmmaking, legit or porn, even with the most conscientious and meticulous attention to detail in the planning is always an exercise in dealing as successfully as possible with the unexpected.

With the erstwhile opening crowd scene pushed back to the end of the day, we'd started in another location in the early morning. We first shot Kyoko running to the subway, then we shot her in an apartment getting ready for work, and ultimately coming into the office set where we'd shoot the rest of the video. (Remember that films are almost never shot in their final sequence.) Once "at the office" we shot a few of Kyoko's scenes in the break room, in the elevator, in the boss's office, et al.

But there we were. I had these two somewhat older and much more experienced actresses who'd never had any real problem with lots of semen, but Kyoko was the nominal star of the story. According to the script this gokkun party was designed to welcome her into the world of the bottomless carafe of cum.

Fortunately, she was cute and still perky after the long day. The wardrobe and make-up team gave her the illusion of a naive young woman whose coworkers were giving her the party in the office after hours and they'd all been happily celebrating and had drunk too much alcohol. Then her two female coworkers offered her the opportunity to partake in as many male genitals as she wanted.

Yes, I know, barely a plot, but it was what the studio and I had agreed upon.

Prior to this climactic gokkun scene, the other two leads, Hana and Oki, each had her own cum-centric scenes and as seasoned professionals they were definitely keepers.

The scenario -- not the shooting order -- went like this:

The whole staff, of which the ratio of men to women is (unsurprisingly) at least 25:1, had been looking forward to the afterwork party all day. So, after closing the office, Oki asked several of her coworkers to help her move some of the furniture to set out for the party. Hana walked in and told them that they're doing it "the wrong way" and that Kyoko's big semen party would be best if the food and drink were arrayed differently. The two women argue and somehow the argument ends in a bet.

I know what you're thinking, but hey, it's porn.

Glaring at Oki across some desks pushed together, Hana stated that she can get the guys currently helping them to ejaculate more -- and faster -- than Oki. The bet was on.

Oki dove right in, got down on her knees, and pulled down the pants of the nearest guy, and started to lick his cock. Not to be outdone, Hana grabbed the three nearest guys, began to unbuckle one's pants, telling the others to get out their cocks. Then she kissed each one as her hands were rubbing their cocks and balls.

The storyline proceeded from there and ultimately, Kyoko was in the room with Oki, Hana, and the guys.

So after orally gratifying quite a few men and enjoying swallowing all of that masculine creamy white stuff themselves, they successfully convinced her that one of the most enjoyable things about sucking cocks is drinking semen in quantity, not just on a cock by cock basis. Kyoko stated that she wanted to know how different it was to drink a glass of semen than simply swallowing after giving her occasional boyfriend a blowjob, a scene we had also shot in the morning. And in this office scene, she had lots of male coworkers who were only too eager to provide the goods.

But then something new delayed the shooting a bit. Kyoko was a cum play virgin. As the director I should have expected this, but like most women, all Kyoko knew was sucking a cock and swallowing its cum. Showing cum to a camera was not in her sex playbook.

We needed to show her how to best display cum that was in her mouth. It sounds like a simple thing and I'd thought it was when I simply asked her to do it with her first office blowjob. I had worked with the guy and knew he could deliver a good-sized load. That was the first problem: she swallowed it as soon as he finished shooting.

OK. One load lost. Not a big deal with all the other boys I had. But after she did the same to the next guy, I realized that she needed to learn the art of cum display. I had no idea if it had a name. Almost all of the women I'd worked with seemed to have an innate sense about it. When I asked them to show the cum, to have it coat their lips, to roll it around on their tongues, to let a little drool down to the end of their chins and then slurp it up, they simply did it. Most even improvised and/or developed some of the techniques that had made them stars in the cum play field.

If a woman has the desire to do it, playing with cum is quite simple. Moving it around in her mouth, forcing it through her teeth with her tongue, drooling it into her hand, and dozens of other variations are available.

However, making it look sexy to her partner might require her to learn what he likes to look at. And making it look sexy to a camera? Well, it's not as simple as it sounds, especially since each viewer probably has his own cum play fantasies. It is those fantasies that the video must try to capture so that the general viewer will be aroused.

But Kyoko was mostly new to this and it showed. So I had to take a break that was long enough to teach her. It also wasted several of the guys because I wanted her to do it a few times before shooting again. It frustrated me that she was so naive, but at least she wasn't disgusted by any of it. And until it came to drinking the glass, I felt that the shots (the video shots, that is) were all successfully erotic.

Finally, we could start again and she was a fast learner. For all the shots I wanted her to make a big display of her prized cum. She did it and she did it well after the first few.

Although she'd been seen uncredited in two other videos as an extra (no nudity or sex), this was Kyoko's debut solo film. I'd worked with the other two actresses on a variety of other films, but Kyoko was new to all of this. Especially to a serious gokkun scene.

After Kyoko had given those twenty-five (give or take) blowjobs, the crew was setting up for the "big gulp" scene. This gave the four of us a chance to discuss the scene and for the three of us who'd done this before the chance to help allay Kyoko's fears.

"You want me to swallow the whole glass in one long drink, right?" Kyoko asked me.

"I'm going to have three cameras on you, Kyoko. I almost never use three cameras for one actress's scenes, and we rented a special high-speed one for a slo-mo capture of your swallowing the cum glass. But you're so beautiful especially that long graceful neck and in this story, you're 'becoming a gokkun woman' so it's important to show your 'arrival' into this new calling," I explained. "If necessary, you can drink it in two or even three swallows."

Oki said to her, "It's not that hard really, Kyoko. Once you start swallowing if you start to feel ill, try to forget about the taste, the smell, and the texture. Try to think of it as an honor that has been presented to you."

"You've done it?" Kyoko said to her.

"Kid, we've all done it," Oki responded as Hana nodded.

"You too, Sakura?"

I nodded.

She looked at the glass of the milky liquid she'd put on the table. (I would never admit it to her, but all that cum made me thirsty for it, but I was a working professional. Still, I could smell the sharp tang semen gets when a large quantity of it has been exposed to the air for a while. It made me wet.)

"That much?"

"More," I told her, trying to make it sound like the best thing in the world.

"That's how Sakura, Hana, and I first met, actually. It was at an industry event," Oki said.

"You met drinking a glass of cum at a party?" Kyoko asked, incredulous.

"Not exactly," Oki responded. She nodded and told her the story of how we first met -- and how much Hana and she disliked me at first.

The story went back more than a year. As Oki began to tell Kyoko the story with Hana clarifying certain details here and there, I began my own reminiscence along with the sensuous details -- containing all five gooey senses -- of that day.

As I'll explain about my getting into porn later, I'd only been in Japan for a few months. I went there at the age of eighteen to be a production assistant at what I initially thought was a small video production studio. Soon I learned that it was a porn production company, but I made the decision to stay and learn as much as I could about making films.

Although I'd never been in front of the camera, I had been asked to be almost since arriving at the studio quite a few times mainly because of my body. Actually, almost solely because of my body, but more on that later, too.

At that point my work unfortunately was what they call in Hollywood "below the line." I'd been a production assistant, a script supervisor (as rare as one is used in the adult film business), a gaffer, a best boy, a make-up and hair designer, costume coordinator, prop supervisor, continuity supervisor, and associate producer. That last title meant that while juggling all the other responsibilities, I kept track of the budget and frequently counted the number of cum shots each guy delivered since they were paid by the climax. I also did some editing and color correction. And of course I was often the caterer, mainly taking coffee and tea orders.

It was a broad array of responsibilities that did barely more than pay my bills.

But I digress. Returning to the story of meeting Oki and Hana: Because of my height and my figure I was frequently asked by company executives to go to industry events and parties. I hate to admit it, but even with all the hard work I did (and did extremely professionally, if I must speak for myself), for these blow-outs I was asked mainly as eye-candy for the real players in the industry, the people with power, privilege, and money.

Still it gave me a chance to go to places I could never afford and to rub elbows with people I never would have had the chance to meet. I knew I was being used but I balanced exploitation with career progression, adding to my growing list of media industry contacts.

The particular adult entertainment bash in question was one unlike I'd ever been to before. In fact, it was unlike anything I could have imagined at my young age. It was at a giant private estate in the mountains on Hokkaido. The production house I worked for most of the time flew the president, vice president, a few other senior executives, the company's big name directors and producers as well as many of their best loved and biggest selling actresses up there from Tokyo. I had the job of making a high-ranking executive look like he'd "made it" in the industry. Of course, there'd be a lot of young actresses there. Still I was only to be on this one exec's arm for the one night. Plus they gave me a budget to buy new shoes and a beautiful dress, as long as it had enough cleavage. Given my size and figure, the dress needed to be tailored considerably, but I knew what I thought would keep the men's eyes interested while still letting me look at least a little classy.

Oki explained to Kyoko that she and Hana were there to represent another studio, one of my studio's biggest competitors. And that Hana had the dubious privilege of being her studio's blowjob girl.

Kyoko looked at Hana.

"Do you mean you gave blowjobs to whomever wanted one? How many men were there? Did you have to swallow all their semen?"

With just her eyes, Oki silently asked me if she should tell more of that history. I didn't want to waste the time but seeing Kyoko's expression told me that she was getting a little more interested. Maybe more of the story would provide a little more excitement or perhaps enticement to swig that glass of semen. All because I wanted her to start drinking with a look of "Do I really want to do this?" and finish with a look of "That was the hottest thing I've ever done. It was orgasmic. Where can I get more?"

I nodded for Oki to continue.

I didn't want to think about her last question: "Did you have to swallow all their semen?" I've always found cum to be a delicacy, a treat, or a reward for a good blowjob. Never something repugnant, as it unfortunately seemed Kyoko still considered it.

"Yeah, Oki, go ahead, we're so far past the schedule, taking a few minutes to tell the story isn't going to make much difference. Tell Kyoko how exciting that evening was," I said, hoping that she'd make the exclusive event and especially the drinking of cum sound like an event the poor girl had missed out on.

As the director, I wanted to make Kyoko love that semen. I wanted her to be a connoisseur, tasting the finest cum in the world. I wanted her to have a desperate thirst that can only be slaked by drinking that glass of semen.

To be honest though, I really didn't care about what she wanted. My job was to make a video and we could wrap in less than an hour if she'd just be a professional actress and do what's in the script. If she loved cum or detested cum, I really didn't care. However, I wanted to capture her on video exuding the emotion that nothing else in life mattered except the sparkling contents of that beautiful stemmed glass of semen.

This should have been discussed with her agent. The fault was mine.

At the time I was still too naive to understand it, but a woman giving oral sex is one of the most visually exciting parts of porn. Seeing her face generally gives the porn enthusiast an idea of what she's feeling. As someone once said, "The eyes are the windows to the soul." So if your porn of choice is seeing a woman unhappy or in discomfort, you can see it on her face. And if a woman is loving the cock or cocks she's sucking that is also quite apparent. You can't know this easily by observing any other body part. Throw in the sight of a mouth and throat ingesting a large cock or the almost reverential cum slurp of a beautiful smiling face and you're moving into some serious male fantasy territory.