Chapter 41. Barbara
As I was leaving the resort parking lot I saw a woman sitting in her car with a look on her face that worried me. I circled around and stopped next to her. I was not surprised she had not noticed.
She had a gun on the car seat next to her.
I tapped the window and startled her but she did roll down her window.
"Listen, I'm sorry to interrupt what you intend to do but I have a couple of pointers for you to consider. One, if you use that gun while in the car it will get messy enough to be impossible for any one to want it.
Two, have you checked your insurance policy to see if it pays off for suicide? Most don't. That was what stopped me. I may have been a worthless bum then but I wanted my son to have something from me when I learned my insurance would not pay. So I started hanging around the toughest parts of town hoping some one would kill me but every bad guy could tell I did not have any money."
She saw my concern with the gun but did not react when I opened her car door. I did not want her to be too worried about me so I leaned back on my car leaving her to choose whether to close her door or leave it open. The woman got out of her car but left her gun still inside, best case scenario so far.
"What did you do?" she asked.
"I got a job as a janitor in a flea bag motel. Men would bring their mistresses in and on the way out they would give me 'you never saw me here' money.
I cleaned up and dressed better and got a job at a better hotel and took up room service meals. I got good tips but best of all I had access to a computer.
Listen, I was on my way to eat dinner. Are you hungry?"
Her expression told me she did not need to say yes. I opened my passenger door. She got her purse and locked her car before I helped her into mine. I did notice that she put her gun in her purse.
As I drove to a downtown restaurant I continued my story.
"Anyway I used the computer to find a better job and I was soon working for the tourist office as a clerk. My job was to set up ads for places that wanted to advertise. Most advertisements were plain vanilla taken from a catalog.
On my own I went to a few places that were not members and convinced them to join.
I designed ads for my new clients specifically for them.
They were happy but the tourist office was not, they fired me.
This place we are going to has an all you can eat fish special tonight and I love fish. They have other stuff too if you don't like fish."
She was suddenly worried about her appearance and pulled down the mirror on the visor.
"Do you have a comb or hair brush?"
I opened my console and handed her a brush and some wet wipes.
She did the best she could but ended up removing all her make-up. She still looked frustrated.
"I can stay here until you eat your fish and be happy with anything you bring out for me."
I answered, "This is casual place; most people in there are wearing shorts and t-shirts. We may be overdressed,"
She no longer had that look of impending doom in her face and was a beautiful woman. She was going to make me look good.
I told her just that and she giggled.
I went around and opened her door.
That evening's crowd had every type of human being there scarfing up on the fish. I knew most and decided to introduce her to some people.
"What's your name?"
"Barbara."
"I'm Bill. Glad to meet you."
I introduced her to a playhouse manager and an actress, a Harley riding dentist and her husband, an insurance agent that would not get on a motorcycle. Two friends, a fashion storeowner and her manager/lover, asked us to sit with them.
I asked Barbara if she was offended by the thought of eating with lesbians as I pulled out the chair for her.
My friends gave me the finger.
Barbara sat as she blushed but said nothing. I asked her if she wanted fish and she nodded yes. I rose my arm and spread two fingers and fifty seconds later we each had a basket of fish and a plate of sides.
The couple at the table, Emma the storeowner and Judy the manager, asked Barbara if she had ever met lesbians before in her life. She shook her head no; she had most of a fish in her mouth and could not speak.
"Are we what you thought lesbians look like?"
Again a vigorous no and after she swallowed she said, "I may have met lesbians before but none that were out, so to speak. You two look like women that would run a fashion store. You also look like you are very happy with each other. I am happy when anybody is."
The ladies smiled then smiled again when they got their second baskets of fish. Barbara had already finished hers and was attacking her sides. I raised my hand and she got another basket of fish.
Two beers were brought to us but the expression on Barbara's face had me placing one beer in front of Emma and asking the waitress to bring Barbara a sweet ice tea,
"He is trying to seduce you," Judy said to Emma.
Emma answered, "He will need to order many more before he would have a chance."
I wadded a napkin and threw it at her and they broke into giggles before attacking the fish again. I got my second basket of fish and Barbara asked the ladies where their shop was.
The ladies answered and Barbara asked, "How long have you had the shop?"
"We have been there four years, it used to be a feed store."
"I would like to visit your store sometime, both of you look adorable in your outfits."
"Good, make him bring you over and spend a lot of money."
Barbara did not know what to say at first until with an innocent looking expression she asked me, "You are paying for this dinner aren't you?"
The ladies cracked up and I had to smile, it was a great line.
Barbara was an intelligent lady
"Hey, Wederman. You need to give her ten minutes. She is funny,"Judy yelled to the playhouse manager.
"A funny comedian would ruin you reputation Paul. Don't do it."
That had been Gary, manager of a slightly upscale bar in the same neighborhood.
Soon wadded up napkins were flying through the air until the owner/chef Doris yelled, "If anyone throws another napkin they will have to pick them all up!"
Her fury was fake as usual as were our claims of innocence.
Everyone pointed to everyone else and resumed devouring fish. Ruthie and Sean came in and kissed their way to a table. I introduced Barbara and Ruthie kissed her lips. Her stunned expression was priceless.
Emma and Judy gave Sean the usual passionate kisses. Ruthie first got pecks on the cheeks then passionate kisses.
Barbara's expression was exactly what you would expect if you unknowingly wandered into Neverland.
Barbara eventually decided that three baskets were enough fish but I had room for another basket, my third. Emma and Judy had also quit after three but were enjoying their drinks. I had ordered a second beer for Emma. Judy wadded up a napkin to throw at me but received a glare from the waitress and just dabbed her lips with it.
As soon as the waitress turned she threw it at me but missed and it landed by the waitress' feet. She turned in mock fury but Judy pointed at Ruthie that was now at a table behind her. Ruthie had a mouth full of fish and silently implored her husband Sean to defend her. He pointed at Ruthie and got his shoulder punched in return. The waitress tried to keep her angry face but that is impossible to do when you are giggling.
The ladies decided it was time to go and kissed me on the lips then semi-surprised Barbara with kisses on the lips. Judy whispered to her, "Did you like them?"
A wide-eyed Barbara nodded yes.
