Family History

Family Documents Part 01

Notes for a family history.

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Copyright Oggbashan December 2015

The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.

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Introduction

About a decade ago my uncle James was thrown from his horse. Although not seriously injured, he was bruised and temporarily using crutches. While recovering he spent many hours in the family's archives intending to write a family history. He never did finish the history but he collected and transcribed several stories that might have been used. Recently I too was temporarily incapacitated after a motorcycle accident and I spent some time trying to sort out the archives. That is where I found James' notes. I decided to word process them to help anyone who might use them later.

They are disjointed, in no particular order or date, and need much more work but they might be of interest to future researchers. I will give each separate piece of text a chapter number and my title.

I have omitted the references to the particular sections of the archives. They are in another document listing my 'chapters' and the archive location if you want to look at the original texts. The 'author' of each chapter will be found in the references.

If I have any introductory remarks they will be signed with my initials D E R.

Chapter 01 Woodland Folly

These might be James' own words. D E R

One of my ancestors, Hubert the Heedless, had more money than sense. As would be expected to happen, several people helped him to spend his money.

At the time the fashionable thing for a landowner to do was to landscape the garden and install statuary, create vistas and build features. Capability Brown was the acknowledged expert. Unfortunately Hubert used a local gardener who had no claim to be called capable. Incompetent might have been a better description for him.

He created a lake but the dam burst and flooded some of Hubert's tenants' crops just before harvest time. The gardener cut vistas through the mature woodland leading nowhere and showing nothing except piles of felled timber. I could go on. Three hundred years later we were still repairing the damage done then.

However Hubert had been fortunate with the builder he had been recommended to build the features on the estate. That builder, a local man, self-educated but with a good feel for the use of materials had provided a grotto, a hermit's cell, a Temple, a bridge across the vanishing lake and other features. Today, in the 21st Century, those buildings are still standing in a good state of repair. From time to time they had needed some maintenance at little cost. They had been built to last by a man who knew exactly what he was doing and had a pride in his work.

The grotto and hermit's cell had been combined. On a hill towards the edge of the estate was a sandstone outcrop, much weathered at the time but still a large feature. The builder, Ralph Jones, had used the outcrop as the foundation for an observation tower. He had tunnelled into the sandstone to make the grotto and had connected that to the so-called hermit's cell.

It is still an enjoyable set of buildings to explore. Anyone climbing the tower by the stone circular staircase passes several rooms with small windows that give clear views of the features that were natural to the estate. At the top the staircase emerges in a small turret to which the flagpole is attached. Apart from the turret rising at one point, the top of the tower is open to the elements and surrounded by a wall about shoulder height. At intervals there are steps set against that wall so that children can share the view with their parents.

The Upper Tower Room and Julietta

The highest room in the tower had the best sheltered views. There were small windows all round the room above a stone bench. Kneeling on the bench was the way to see out through the deeply recessed windows. The glazing was set about an arms-length from the outside and could be swung aside on brass hinges that were still original.

Apart from the bench the only thing in the room was a prone statue of Hubert's Italian mistress, Julietta. She had been carved as if on a bed with her legs spread to accept her lover. Her arms were clasped behind her head. Her erect nipples pointed at the dome of the ceiling. The carved bed had an unusual feature. At its edge there was a gutter running across the floor to a hole in the wall. Outside, only visible from the top of the tower if you leaned over dangerously, the gutter ended in a gargoyle carved as an erect penis with balls. Water poured into the gutter would spout from the penis falling the long distance to the ground. As children we would carry buckets of water up the tower and take turns in pouring water and watching the penis spray out into the air.

Only later did we find that if water was poured into Julietta's open lips, the lips on her face and the lips between her legs, it would flow into the gutter and so to the penis. Research in the family archives revealed a diary kept by one of Hubert's poor relations. Hubert had commissioned the statue so that it could substitute for Julietta whenever she was unavailable because it was that time of the month. The servants would pour warm water through the statue's orifices before Hubert would mount it, screwing either her mouth or her pussy. Once he had finished the servants would rinse through the statue to clean it for Hubert's next ride.

Julietta, described by the poor relation as 'that Italian hussy', would sometimes assist Hubert to achieve coition with her marble image. She would delight in stimulating him to an erection that anchored him in her stone replica. He could not free himself without ejaculating or else by his erection subsiding. Julietta would torment him so that his erection was prolonged without relief, laughing at his predicament. She even went further. There were holes carved into the marble bed through which ropes could be threaded. She would insist on tying Hubert face down on her marble replica and would thrash his naked body with bamboo canes until the blood ran. Stains still remain on the marble that are said to have been made by Hubert's blood.

Why Hubert endured Julietta's behaviour was beyond the understanding of the diarist. He bewails Hubert's infatuation and his degradation of the hands of that woman. He failed to understand the love that Hubert and Julietta had for each other. They are buried in the family vault. Hubert's wife is on his left hand, Julietta on his right, or at least that is what is supposed to be the arrangement. There is another family tradition that the three of them are buried in the same coffin with Hubert facing Julietta, his penis placed inside her and his wife snuggling against his back. Whether that is true we will never know without exhuming them and that we would never do.

When young men of the family reached maturity we had a tradition that they should try Julietta's statue for size. Over the years the men had become larger with unfortunate results. A few had to be separated from the statue by squirting olive oil around their trapped manhood so later generations decided that the practice was too dangerous to the survival of the family. I cannot understand why they did not find a skilled sculptor who could provide a discreet enlargement to the statue's private parts. That is what I would have done. The cost today would be beyond me. If ever I have real money, Julietta's image would be modified to perform its function for me and future generations. As it is, Julietta has been unfucked for at least a hundred years. I'm sure that she feels neglected and insulted that only an occasional male finger penetrates her.

The next highest room

This room, unlike the one above it, has a fireplace with the chimney leading up beside the spiral staircase to exit above the turret on the roof. It was used by Hubert and Julietta in winter. The windows are double glazed in that there are two windows placed one behind the other in each window opening. That does prevent draughts but the gap between is too large for a good thermal barrier. Air for the fire enters the tower through grilles set in the base of the fireplace. Even today a small fire on the hearth warms the room effectively if it is left burning for several hours.

The same stone bench runs around the curved wall. In the centre of the room is a magnificent four poster bed curtained all round. The bed is very strongly made with massive supports at the four corners. The tester above the bed is also strong and fitted with copies of naval blocks and tackle. The original ropes had become unsafe and were renewed in the 1970s so that the operation of the bed could be understood by future generations.

The pulleys enabled Julietta or Hubert to suspend the other in mid-air. Even with a heavy man strung from the contraption a small woman could raise or lower him with one arm. The same diarist was invaluable. Apparently Hubert would suspend Julietta with her breasts just above his face. He could reach up with his hands or lips to caress, lick, nibble or just set them swinging gently. If he lowered Julietta he could penetrate her without being crushed under her weight. In later years Julietta became very fat and waddled. Sex under Julietta's full weight might have been too much for the elderly and frail Hubert. With the ropes and pulleys he could vary her touch from extreme lightness up to as much weight as he could stand. She could do the same with him.

Originally they had intended to swing together from the harness, to couple in mid-air. A few experiments had ended in embarrassing disasters and they had to be released by Julietta's maid. Although neither were averse to shocking their servants, the impossibility of freeing themselves was unpleasant. On the first occasion they had waited six hours before being released and were cold and irritable. For later experiments they had made sure that Julietta's maid was within earshot and could eventually get them free from their predicament.

It was said that Julietta had a very close relationship, too close, with her maid and that perhaps Hubert had too. The diarist mutters about threesomes or even unnatural affections between the two women but refrains from the salacious details that he delighted in when recording the misdeeds of Hubert himself.

The contraptions surrounding that four poster bed were used by many couples after Hubert's time. When the ropework was replaced in the 1970s much of that removed was of 1930s manufacture. There were mutterings because our grandparents were supposed to have been of unimpeachable virtue. If that were so, why had they renewed the ropes? Perhaps we had been told untruths about our grandparents and they were just as randy as Hubert was or as we are?

The Hermit's Cell

The Hermit's Cell was carved out of the sandstone of the original outcrop. A few feet beyond the opening a wrought iron grille prevented people from entering further inside. The grille could be swung aside from the inside. Beyond the grille a stone seat was illuminated by a hole in the roof of the cave. During most daylight hours anyone sitting on that seat would be back lit amid the gloom of the cavern.

Hubert had been told that a hermit would be a notable addition to a gentleman's pleasure grounds. Unfortunately he had been unable to obtain anyone willing to be that hermit despite the commodious accommodation and the small annual salary. Eventually he had compromised. Agatha, the village's wisewoman, was becoming elderly and irritable with the constant demands of the village swains wanting love-potions and such nonsense. She reluctantly consented to accept the post of hermitess after a drunken youth had hurled imprecations at her when a love-potion had not produced the desired effect.

Agatha wanted protection from most of the unnecessary tasks the village expected of her, and real physical protection from the elements and the drunken pranks of the village's hooligans. The Hermit's Cell provided both. No one could approach her except by the grille and they could not pass that without her co-operation. She agreed to be available for consultations between 10am and 12 noon, and again from 2pm until 4pm but never on Sundays. Hubert's guests had preferential treatment and any villagers had to wait, as was only proper, until the gentry had consulted the hermitess.

Agatha's accommodation beyond the cell, still carved out of the living rock, was a set of rooms including a kitchen with a pump to draw water from a sweet well, a scullery and cold larder, a parlour, a secondary living room or guest room and a bedroom. They were on a higher level and all had glazed windows overlooking Hubert's grounds. Agatha could see anyone approaching and assume her role of stipendary hermitess before the visitors reached the cell. She had her own entrance close to the tower that was almost invisible to the casual eye. Her windows with their expensive glass were inaccessible unless someone climbed down from the top of the outcrop.

In Agatha's parlour there was a speaking tube connected to the statue of the Sibyl in the Grotto. When required by pre-arrangement with Hubert, Agatha, an unusually well educated person for her age and condition, would open a large volume of Virgil and read one or two verses down the speaking tube in answer to questions addressed to the Sibyl. It was suspected that after a couple of years she used her own native wit to find suitable verses instead of choosing them at random. None of the villagers consulted the Sibyl. There was no point. One or two verses in Latin would be meaningless to them.

Hubert's guests would spend many happy hours discussing the application and recondite meaning of the Virgilian verses to the question asked of the Sibyl - a harmless pastime.

Some of Hubert's male guests would approach the Hermitess for help in slaking their masculine needs. If they paid Agatha a sufficient sum she would undertake to provide a suitably willing village maiden who also had to be paid in advance. Assignations could take place in one of the rooms in the Tower, or in a concealed room off the Grotto. One of the conditions was that both parties should be masked and should not remove their mask.

The scurrilous diarist hinted that Julietta was not averse to providing her services to a sufficiently attractive male guest, using Agatha as a go-between, but there is no evidence to justify such a slur on Hubert's faithful mistress. The diarist even suggested that the Lady Margaret, Hubert's wife, was also a party to these masked assignations. How true that is? Who knows?

Chapter 02 While Her Husband's Away

This must have been written in the middle of the 19th Century. It refers to the still existing temple referred to in Chapter 01. D E R

I shouldn't have visited my older sister. Not while her husband was away. I did. Do I regret it? Make up your own mind when I've told you about it.

I was waiting for my regiment to sail for garrison duty in Gibraltar. I was a green officer and no help to the seasoned NCOs who had everything under control. I knew enough to know how useless I was. The regiment was sitting in barracks waiting for the transport ships to arrive but they weren't due for a fortnight. Even then they might be late. Despite the few steam tugs I had seen scuttling around in Portsmouth Harbour, Army transport in the middle of this nineteenth century still relied on sailing vessels.

My older sister Emma lived a day's ride from Portsmouth. I went to the adjutant and asked for a few days' leave to visit her. He had suggested that I should.

"Alfred," he said.

We were alone and he is my uncle George otherwise he would have called me Ensign Smythe. I would be an Army Captain when the purchase papers were signed.

"Take ten days. You don't know anything yet and are in the way. Give my regards to my niece, her husband and her children."

He opened a drawer in his desk. He pulled out a chinking purse and threw it at me.

"That should buy some presents for the family. Don't spend it all on them. You are only just twenty-one, aren't you? Use some to get experience while you are there. Come back on Friday week."

He winked at me. What could he mean?

"Thank you, sir." I saluted and left his office.

I left hurriedly before he could change his mind. Leave and money were to be used as soon as possible. Within the hour I had bought presents and was off Portsea Island on my way to my sister's.

Emma isn't my only sister. I have six sisters and four brothers. I am the youngest of the family. My eldest brother would inherit the title and estates. The next would have the secondary holdings that were not entailed. John, who was only a couple of years older than me had gone into the Church, so it was the Army for me. With money and influence I should have a reasonable career but a good war might set me up for life with estates of my own. Not too soon, though, because I needed Army experience before I could expect to make a difference to my regiment.

Just before dusk I reached Emma's house. That caused a bustle of servants rushing around warming the bed, changing the table settings and whatever needed doing for an unexpected guest.

Emma took one look at me, covered in the dust of the road, and sent me off to have a bath. That was typical of an elder sister. She was also showing off her new plumbing. I did appreciate running hot and cold water and the shower. It was very up to date with its gleaming brasswork and decorated tiles.

When I came down to the saloon Emma was playing with her two sons. Simon was just two years old. Andrew was in the wet-nurse's arms held against her lightly draped breasts. Emma startled me by introducing the wet-nurse.

"Alfred, this is Lavinia. She isn't a wet-nurse, she is the wife of one of our larger tenant farmers. The wet-nurse has a cold so Lavinia offered to help. Isn't that kind of her?"

I murmured something complimentary. I didn't know what to say. I had met tenants and their wives before but never a wife with her breast ready to pop out and feed a baby. Lavina was a handsome woman with masses of brunette hair and wonderfully expressive eyes. I saw danger in them. Playing around with maidservants was one thing. Gentle flirting with married ladies of your own class was another with different and very strict rules. But wives of "larger tenant farmers" were neither. They were prosperous middle class. An affair with one of them could be easily misinterpreted.

What made it worse was that Lavina clearly saw my confusion. I tried to hide it by producing the presents for Emma and her sons. I had several large silk Indian shawls for her, a teething rattle for Andrew and a little horse on wheels for Simon.

While the presents were admired I felt Lavinia watching me with detached amusement. To her perhaps I was very young although she could only be a couple of years older. I wanted to startle her out of her detachment. I sent for a servant and whispered in his ear. He went to my room and a few minutes later handed me a carefully wrapped parcel.

"Mistress Lavina," I said. "I regret that I had been unaware of your presence but I hope you will accept this as a token of my esteem and in thanks for the help you are giving my sister in her time of need."

I handed the parcel to her. She took it with difficulty because Andrew was squirming in her arms. She protested that she shouldn't have a present but Emma overruled her. She lifted Andrew out of Lavinia's arms so that my present could be unwrapped.