Chapter 10
Ava
I sat on the exam table as the doctor pressed the cold stethoscope to my chest and listened. His face was drawn in concentration and I was nauseous. It was all nerves, not a symptom of the disease I had. My insides felt like they wanted to turn themself out and I held Kelsey's hand as she stood next to me with a worried expression.
She had taken the day off to come to this check up with me and she drove me here too. I wore the oxygen cannula since I knew there would be a bit more walking than I was used to over the past week. It was getting harder to breathe every day now, though I still didn't know what was causing the condition to get worse so quickly.
"Ms. Brooks, your lung sounds aren't what we expect. We'll want some more imaging." The doctor backs away and removes the stethoscope from his ears with a scowl on his face. Kelsey squeezes my hand and I lick my lips nervously.
"But I've only been home for like six days and you've done the imaging only a week ago. How could it change that fast?" My hands were sweaty and my pulse felt like I'd just finished running a marathon. This condition was terrifying to me, and the fact that I'd spent an hour last night when Max couldn't come over googling every possible thing that could go wrong with it only put more fear in my mind.
"Well," he said, pulling up his stool, "the acute exacerbation of what you've had for a while now means that something has really churned up the condition. I suspect there is some environmental factor at play. A toxic chemical in the air you're breathing somewhere or perhaps mold spores from your residence. Have you been around any construction areas in the past six months?"
My already roiling stomach churned harder as I thought of all the gentrification that was being done in Central City Village. Perk Up and the entire plaza it was in was just the beginning. The entire ten square mile stretch was under attack from wealthy investors trying to turn the city around. Max was one of them, though I couldn't personally blame him for my condition. No one had any idea that negative things could also come from their renovation plans.
"Uh, only the entire downtown area. I work in Central." My heart sank as I realized the thing that most of the city thought was good had been the thing to trigger my lungs to begin failing. "And you think I've had this a while?" I was so embarrassed to admit I hadn't paid much attention to their words when I was admitted to the hospital. It was like a black sack had been placed over my head and blinded and deafened me from absorbing any of it. That black sack was hopelessness and despair and I had all but given up.
"Yes, we believe you've had this most of your life. Left to itself you probably wouldn't have noticed symptoms for another ten years at least, but whatever triggered this is making it worsen quickly. I think you should stay away from the areas of the city that are undergoing the updates and if your landlord hasn't tested for mold, I suggest having him do so promptly. If it's in your apartment, you need to move." The doctor's expression was so stern I felt like he was treating me like his child, not his patient, and for a second I felt comforted by that. He cared, and it meant something.
"You can stay with me," Kelsey offered and I thought of Max and his offer. Marriage might mean moving to his place too, which would be far away from Central Village and the dust cloud that probably was full of mold spores. With Phoenix parked directly in the Salt River valley, air never moved and that meant the same smog from months ago was just being recirculated now.
"And a transplant..." I sighed, already knowing what he'd say.
"Isn't possible if you don't have insurance to pay. The board won't even consider you for the list." His expression grew compassionate. "Have you worked with a case worker to determine if you're eligible for Medicare?"
"Uh, no," I mumbled. If given a few more months of unemployment I'd qualify, but I'd be homeless too.
"She'll have insurance in a few days." Kelsey's rude interjection made my chest constrict. She was talking about Max and his offer and she was making decisions and announcements for me.
The doctor's eyebrows rose immediately and he smiled. "That's incredible. I don't need to know the specifics, but I'm happy to hear that. Would you like me to have a nurse bring in the paperwork for the transplant committee?" He stood and draped his stethoscope around his neck and I scowled at Kelsey.
"I just need a few more days please," I told him and he nodded.
"Stay put here. I'll get the imaging tests ordered and send you to radiology before you leave. I'm glad to hear you've worked it out. This will save your life."
The minute he was out the door and it was shut, I turned on Kelsey like a rabid dog. "What the hell was that!" I barked, and I tore my hand from her grasp. The righteous indignation I felt was overwhelming. I wanted to run away and scream.
"You're being stupid. Max wants to save your fucking life and you're turning him down because you're prideful." She picked up her purse and hung it from her shoulder by the strap then crossed her arms over her chest. If I pissed her off, I'd have to take public transport home and even though I got my paycheck deposited in my account, I couldn't afford it. I only had one more coming and it was only for a few days' time.
"You don't get to make that decision for me. This is my life." This time the vulnerability I felt didn't make tears well up. It made me angry. I should be making my own choices, not her. She was telling people what I'd be doing and not consulting me.
"Marry him, Ava. He's not a creep or a lunatic. He's a steady guy with a great job, and he's offering to help save your life. Divorce him when you're done, but fucking marry him." Kelsey's solid glare was fixed on me as the nurse strolled into the room and chirped out my name.
I turned away from my best friend and felt enraged that she was trying to parent me, but someone had to. I knew that. I knew my pride was getting in the way and that I'd have already been on the list days ago if I had just let Max pay. I refused to let that happen, but if he could give me the insurance, I had to accept. There was no other way.
"Ms. Brooks, can you sign here to give us consent for your CT scan?" The nurse held out a form clipped to a clipboard and I let my shoulders drop. My resolve had finally broken. This time next week I'd be a married woman and Max would probably be giddy over that.
