We stopped at an intersection, and she began looking around, once again tapping her long and slender finger on her chin. I looked down at her and smiled. Since our recovery from my outburst, she hadn't let go of my hand.
Didn't notice that until now.
Her fingers fit so comfortably between mine that I couldn't tell you who grabbed whose hand or when. I feel her eyes on me now as I look up, suddenly realizing I was staring at our hands stupidly. She was smiling, though, and gave my hand a light squeeze, washing away my building distress. She was amazing how, with just one motion, she could melt away the silent transgressions that I constantly held against myself. Her blue eyes were speckled green as she stared into mine. It looked like she was glowing, and maybe she was again. I said it before, maybe once or twice, but she was as bright as the moon.
Stunning.
A gust of ocean air came through, and I watched as she closed her eyes. Her smile grew even larger. Head tilted slightly back, she turned to face the wind with arms outstretched; it was hard not to admire her contentment as she waited for another breeze. This gust lasted longer than the others, and it rippled through her hair. Like a flag, it flew in waves in the air behind her. Stray locks flowed here and there as freely as the river that was her soul. She was a beautiful force. Outside of the apparent perfection of her body, I found myself enjoying watching her here and there without lust. I couldn't help but grin, knowing she kept holding onto my hand.
In this tiny little moment, she
was
just another person. I was grateful just to be here and witness her. Trust me. I triple-checked internally. Watching her be so in love with being alive... I can't put any other word on it other than exceptional. Not even that word sounds right. Special? Cliché. But what other words are there? When was the last time I stopped to appreciate what was around me? What about you? I mean,
really
appreciate it? I don't even know. Thea has probably done it more in the short time since she woke up than I have in the past five years put together. I would probably be jealous if watching it take place didn't fill me with this sort of warm happiness in my chest, knowing some of these tiny bits of momentary bliss were only mine to keep.
More and more through our adventure, I'd noticed those little moments as they popped up. Small things that made her seem much less snobby and so much closer to our small reality. It was in her laugh and the way she'd look at me. The way she glared at me when I pissed her off. Maybe that's why I enjoyed egging her on so much. It was a pretty easy thing for me to do, in fact. Most of the time, my just existing seemed to piss her off. These thoughts waded around my mind together lazily as I watched and waited gladly. I reached over to her with my free hand, tucking a stray lock behind her ear that was invading her face. My hand brushed against her cheek as I did and instantly, I felt the electricity that I was starting to get used to. Even found myself enjoying it the times I was mentally prepared for it. Obviously not Thea. Her eyes opened quickly, and she all but threw my other hand out of hers. It made me wonder if she felt the shockwaves too.
Losing her hand from mine so suddenly kind of hurt. I felt disappointment growing in me, and a sourness began to spread. It's like the emptiness of my hand was being felt for the first time. Offended by lack of hand-holding. What was I even thinking right now?
What the fuck is this? Why am I feeling like this? This is stupid.
I realized we were staring at each other, and my brows were furrowed. I relaxed them, and she cocked her head slightly to the side as she studied me. Swiftly, her fingers were laced again in mine as she broke the silence, "We're going this way!" She pointed across the street in the direction the wind was coming. The look of excitement returning in her eyes was hard to miss. Kind of the same as when someone gets a good surprise. She tugged on my arm, and again, I couldn't stop the grin that crept back onto my face.
I let her lead me across Main Street and around the corner to what looked like a camping supply store. Before we make it five feet into the store, she is all over the place, touching anything and everything that she can. I decided not to rush her and just strolled along behind her. She slid across different surfaces with her delicate hands and knocked on some. It was seriously kind of funny if I'm being honest. And the look of disgust that would show up on her gorgeous face sometimes as she did it? It was worth every bit of time it took us to walk through that store. My cheeks were starting to hurt from this abuse of muscles that I rarely used.
It was a great view, too, if I'm completely honest. She'd twist and bend, checking shelves here and racks there. Ryn's clothes really didn't fit Thea's frame. I mean, it fit, but she was taller than Ryn, so it was all a bit too short. It grabbed a lot of attention along our way through the store. It was not like she wasn't already noticeable with her lack of pigment. Normally, it wouldn't bother me, but some would plain stare. It was rude and I felt that hot bubbling in my chest.
I thought I was a creep.
One man whistled, and I couldn't stop the low growl that erupted from my chest. Thea didn't seem to notice any of it, though. Probably was something she was used to, so it did not phase her. Everywhere she moved, it was with grace. Almost fluid like water. I had no doubts, too, that just like the waves of the oceans, Thea was a great force to be reckoned with.
We ended up with three tents and other camping gear. Water filtration tubes, of course. I insisted we pick up some nutrient capsules, but after she grabbed the package and read it, she looked at me like she was offended. She then tossed it back on the rack, turned her nose up, and walked on. I made sure to grab them after she walked away. Complain all she wants but they could come in handy. She picked out some clothes that fit her properly, sadly, but I was happy to wait. It's weird, considering I hate shopping with a burning passion. Maybe it was because she was a great model. Everyone else enjoyed watching her, too, which I hated. Having so many eyes on us made me annoyingly hyper-aware of my surroundings, which is exhausting by itself. I tried to speed up her process, but she would just shoot me a look that clearly stated, 'Shut the fuck up because you're annoying me, and I'm going to hurt you.' So I did just that. She grabbed thermal suits for everyone. Knives and bows, too. Those she strongly insisted on, no matter how much I questioned the legitimacy of it being an actual necessity in the near future. As the cart started to fill, so did my anxiety as I began to wonder just how many credits I'd be dropping here. If we needed to survive on the run for a while, we needed to budget appropriately. Some things could probably wait, and we needed to prioritize. Hell, I don't even think the thermal suits were all that important. Surprised they had them in stock, though the staff had to check in the back for em.
I'm groaning inside myself before we even make it out of the building.
Eighteen hundred credits. Three tents were expensive on their own. Four fifty a piece! Why do we even need three?!
Thea didn't wait for me. Just walked right past and toward the Bed and Breakfast. Words started leaving her lips without even checking to see if I was following her, "Baby boy, I heard that heavy mouth breathing and the constant shuffling of your hands in your pockets. I may be Ancient, but I know math. Eighteen hundred is a drop in the ocean for how long these supplies should last and the budget provided." Hastily, I caught up, and I tugged the bags out of her hands. After a small amount of reluctance, she gave in. I could see the annoyance sculpted on her face. Feel it, too.
Why did being a gentleman irritate all the women that ended up in my life?
