Chapter 3: Guardian Devil
She wasn't Sister Mary Aloysius when he met her. Hadn't been for several years. Actually, her real name was Gerta. But even though she had left orders because she had 'impure thoughts' that grew and grew until they erased her ability to spend quality time in prayer, she was unable to develop a real intimate relationship with anyone. Casey spoke with her 'ex' Mother Superior, confessing that his role was to help her develop her normal sexuality.
He did not detail that his was "hands on" therapy, but the woman was not dumb. He could tell that she knew there was something more than classic doctor/patient in his treatment of Gerta. Still, the Mother Superior was candid with him.
"I don't think she had any real sexual abuse when she was a child. Yes, there was an uncle who kept her a little too long on his lap. There was a cousin who liked to play "show me" games. I don't know about girls. She had a crush on a teacher.... I just don't know. Her dreams, her fantasies were about devils, rough, hairy creatures with horns and tails.
She couldn't stop imagining herself in all sorts of compromising positions with these creatures. They were always making her do things. We would come into her chamber in the morning and she would be sopping wet, her hair in strings, her nose running. We had to change mattresses; they were just torn up. We don't know how she did it.
"Many nights we stood outside her door, helpless, helpless to do anything because the door was just jammed shut. None of us could force it open, while inside, inside there were the most godawful sounds, you should pardon the expression. It sounded as though she was being ravished, ravished by some huge animal. Her cries were at once fearful and pitiful and at the same time full of ecstasy and joy. I can't explain it.
"However, I confess that one reason she left orders was the effect she was having on the other sisters. Oh, none of them seemed to be possessed in the same way, but still...they would gather outside her door, like moths to a flame. You could see that the noises in that room reached right into their souls and shook them to the ground, some literally.
Sister Angela had a fainting spell right there. Others clutched at themselves in a manner unseemly for the religious. I forbade them to leave their cells at night. Yet in good conscience I could not lock them in. I knew they disobeyed me, because, because...I disobeyed myself and found them outside her door.
"We had Father Eric and Father Paul in to attempt an exorcism but it failed, failed miserably. At first they could not even get into her room at night to perform the ceremony. So we had them attend her during the day until the evening. When sister came in the evening to deliver their suppers the door was locked, though there was no lock on the door.
The awful sounds commenced, yet this time intensified. Their cries filled the entire convent. The sisters ran about shrieking and fainting. And in the morning the priests emerged changed men. They had aged years and could hardly speak. Their garments were ragged below the waist.
Sister Mary Aloysius had no memory of the events; said she had spent a peaceful night without dreams.
"We tried again by placing sister Mary in the infirmary with Fathers Donald and Pierre. There was no effect and it was hard to believe that this angelic person could be possessed. But as soon as she returned to her chambers it all began again.
"I had to let her go.
"So good luck, young man, but watch yourself. I fear this is not just some mild neurosis or depression to be cured by drugs. I believe you have a genuine adversary here."
This cast a whole new light on the problem. In simplest terms, Gerta was not interested in new lovers because she already had one, a very powerful, fulfilling lover, and one not easily discouraged.
Gerta and Casey met for coffee. He hardly knew how to address the problem.
"Gerta, your friends, your sisters think you need to find a companion to share your life, now that you are no longer a religious. Do you feel the same way?"
Gerta didn't look at Casey right away but took the time to form her answer. She wasn't conventionally pretty. Some might call her 'plain' and 'heavy', but it was really the sturdiness of a strong woman of Germanic stock with generous hip and modest bust, beautiful hands, fine gold blond hair pulled simply to the back of her neck and a clear ivory complexion that absolutely glowed. Her best features were her pink dimpled cheeks and her rosebud mouth.
"I am rarely lonely," she enunciated carefully. "My teaching gives me a warm sense of fulfillment. I enjoy outings with friends, both married and single. I am easy with the men in the church choir, though none seems to desire me. And...I have a feeling of being needed...by...by...something greater. I also know for some reason that this, in time, will change."
"Do you know why you left the convent?"
"Well, people say things about possession, but I have never felt this. I think perhaps I have sinful dreams and it disturbs the other sisters. Only this."
"You understand why I am here?"
"My friends say that you will help me grow over my fear of men. Only I don't feel I fear the men, only that, for now, they are not so interesting. And my body, it does not respond so much, because...because I have no energy for this. Though I am no longer a religious my energy is more toward heaven and the good works."
"But you are willing to let me try to help you."
"It seems a bit silly. But yes, you are a nice, attractive man. Of course it is a sin, but my sisters are thinking I need maybe a little sin to stop a bigger one. They think I should make a good mother and I am thirty-four, not so young any more. So, yes, help me to enjoy the men."
She lived in a very small house at the end of a quiet street, an almost clichéd rose covered cottage. Apparently she had to have her own house because she had been asked to leave her mother's home and an apartment because of her nocturnal "carrying on." I asked to sleep on her couch.
She made me a simple meal of soup and bread and salad and we read a while like an old domestic couple, listened to some Bach and then it was time for bed.
"You want, perhaps, to share the bed?"
She almost had a twinkle in her eye and Casey was tempted to see if she had just been a bit shy. But he thought, given her history, that he should scope out the scene a bit. And something about her just turned him off, but he could not say what it was.
"That's alright. I think tonight I will just be your guest. We can get to know each other a bit better. Pleasant dreams."
Tiny lines appeared around her mouth.
"I hope so."
Casey stretched out on the couch, which she had made up with a thick comforter. Soon he was dozing.
