Darrell was away on his field camp. During the two weeks between the party and Darrell's departure, Meredith had not figured out how to spring their proposal for a partner swap on Darrell, or even if she should. Crystal had been over often, and they usually worked out in the yard. They seemed to be great together most of the time, but she had seen them argue. After what must have been a particularly bad argument, Meredith had been surprised to see Crystal back the next day. Given that she was often not around when Crystal was over and did not see what went on in the cottage, she wondered how often they bickered. Yet they were still together, and the fights did not seem to last long. Still, the quarrels did not make for a healthy relationship. Hopefully, they stayed together long enough for her to implement the swap.
Crystal continued to work out in the yard every other day after Darrell left for his geology camp. Meredith and Crystal had a few short conversations about mundane things during that time. Then one day, Meredith took a full afternoon off and made sure she was sunning naked in the yard when Crystal showed up to work out. She waved to Meredith and stripped to begin warming up. Meredith had decided to address the partner swap proposal by first planting a seed with Crystal. She had the beginnings of a plan, and with buy-in from Crystal, she might have the nerve to approach Darrell. She casually walked over to Crystal, enjoying the feel of her nakedness as she walked across the yard.
"Crystal -- can we talk?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Let's go sit on the porch."
They walked over and sat down at the table under the shade of the umbrella.
"Want some water or iced tea?" Meredith asked.
"No, I'm fine, thanks. What do you want to talk about?" Crystal asked, somewhat concerned that it might be related to her using the yard while Darrell was away.
"It is none of my business, but I have my reasons for asking. Ryan and I are fond of both you and Darrell. Darrell has done wonders for me. He has helped make me comfortable in my own skin, and you have helped with that, too. I just want to ask, how are you guys doing? I've seen you fight."
"Yeah, sorry about that. We've had some real whoppers. They start small, but neither of us likes to admit we are wrong, and things escalate."
"Has he ever been violent with you?"
"Darrell? No, I don't think he would ever do that. Sometimes I wonder about myself, however. I have been so angry that I've almost punched him a couple of times."
"What usually starts the fights?"
"Dumb things usually. We are great ninety-nine percent of the time. As a matter of fact, awesome. We enjoy each other's company, we love doing things together, and the sex is fantastic."
"So, what is the problem?"
"I'm not sure," she said with wetness starting to show in her eyes. This was a subject that weighed on her because such fighting was not her nature.
"I have an idea that might help. You can tell me if it is complete bull. It has been my observation that you are a strong-willed, empowered young woman. I admire that in you; please don't change. I, however, have noticed that Darrell can be a pig-headed chauvinist. I can see where you two might clash. After you first met, he mentioned that you were a bit overbearing for a woman. And believe me, my hackles rose when I heard that. Is it possible that's part of the problem?"
"I very much want to be with him. He is the first guy I have seriously connected with since I started school here, but I'm afraid you are right. It seems obvious now that you mention it. I can watch myself and try not to be overbearing, I guess." She had tears starting to run down her cheeks.
"No," Meredith said forcefully, "I just said don't change. It's not you who needs to change their behavior; it's him. His attitude towards women is wrong. I would hate you to bend to his misguided prehistoric mindset."
"Okay, so what should I do? Seems like it would be a real challenge to change him."
"Do you love him?"
"I don't know; love is a pretty strong word. And then there is Katherine. Darrell feels pretty strongly about her."
"You said you don't want to be without him."
"Yes, if I lost him, that would hurt, a lot, but I just don't know about love."
Meredith was a little frustrated. It was plain as day that she was in love with him, and she was pretty sure Darrell was in love with Crystal. Yet they refuse to see it. That is probably part of their problem. If they just told each other how they felt. Oh well, that is a problem for another day. It does not change the issue with Darrell's attitude flaw.
She had to move on and said, "Nonetheless--would you like my help? As you know, this is the type of thing I deal with professionally."
"Sure, that would be awesome, please, but what can you do?"
"First--how's the sex between you guys, and is sex important to you?" This was a calculated turn in the conversation.
"Yes, it's important to me. Sex is important to me; I'm a very horny person, which I worry isn't healthy, especially if I don't have a boyfriend. I've had a couple here, but they were just about the sex, and they weren't healthy relationships. I also needed to make a rule about no one-night stands a long time ago. I need to be in a relationship with someone, and that is another reason why I don't want to lose Darrell. He knows how to satisfy me. He might be the first one that can consistently do that for me, but it's also about more than just the sex. We're good together except for the fights."
"This one-night stand rule. No exceptions?"
"I suppose there are. If it is someone I already know. The rule mostly applies to people I just meet, like in a bar. I want to be assured that there is some kind of connection other than just sex. With Darrell, it was obvious. I might have gone to bed with him on the first night, but that was never an issue. Katherine set us up and told us to have sex."
"Does his I have to be in charge attitude carry over to when you are having sex?"
"Yep. He likes to be in charge. Just between us, I kind of tied him up the first time we had sex. It excited him, but you could tell he didn't like giving up control."
"Hmm--that might work for you. Tell you what, I have an idea, but you need to trust me. If I can get Darrell to agree to something, we have a chance of making an attitude adjustment. I don't want to say anything now, but you'll know it if he agrees. He will need to come to you to discuss it."
"I'm curious as hell," said Crystal.
"I will say this--how do you feel about using sex as a tool."
"I'm likely against it. Especially with Darrell. It wouldn't be right."