Daddy Don't Loo! I'm Naed.

Earth Day nude family photo shoot turns into an incestuous orgy.

It all started when my family posed nude for an Earth Day advertising campaign. I'm Susan and this is the true story of what happened to my family, after the photo shoot and after we started having incestuous and forbidden sex.

It was just a small ad posted on Craigslist in the adult category. A photographer, hired by a food company, was looking for a wholesome family, a mother, father, son, and daughter for a nude family photo shoot for an Earth Day advertising campaign. Normally, one wouldn't think that a wholesome family would ever pose nude together, yet, much in the way of PETA ads, the transparency of the advertiser's food ingredients was the premier point of this advertising campaign. The creative team of advertisers, the art director and the photographer, wanted to use nudity to make their point that the food company had nothing to hide in their ingredients and they needed a family to get naked to do just that.

Had my Dad not been looking to find money making opportunities in the X-rated section of Craigslist and had my Dad not been the pervert that he obviously is, he never would have seen the advertisement. For sure, I would have expected my brother to read the Craigslist adult category, but not my Dad. Yet, I was in store for even more surprises, before our incestuous journey was over.

We learned later that the photographer's client was the Wholesome Family Foods Company, the biggest organic food company in the world. The ad stated that no experience was necessary to pose nude as models. The ad also stated that all family members must be over 18-years-old. We easily fit the required criteria with me being 23-years-old and my brother just having turned 20-years-old.

"Perfect," said my Dad to himself for no one to hear. "We are just what they are looking for and this could be our lucky break, our ticket to the big money, and our road to success, finally. Kathy," he said calling my Mom.

My Dad was a bit like Richard Heene, balloon boy's Dad, always looking for an opportunity to make some easy money by showcasing our family. He's spent years entering contests and writing profiles trying to get us, as a family, noticed and trying to get us on reality TV with limited success. An understatement, he's never been successful, but we have earned a few dollars in the process here and there with some of the loony things he had us do. This modeling nude opportunity, he believed, was the blue sky opportunity that he had been dreaming to find. Only, on the surface, by reading the ad, he may have gone too far in expecting us to pose nude, as a family together, for an Earth Day nude photo shoot.

"What is it, Bob? I'm busy in the kitchen," said my Mom.

No doubt, tired of watching my Dad get excited by the promise of get rich quick success schemes, only to become depressed by his attempts fraught with failure, I understood my Mom's disinterest and dread at having to play the supportive wife, yet, again. With my Dad acting much in the same up and down way of a manic depressive person, my Mom figured, no doubt, that my Dad found and had latched onto, yet, another stupid pie in the sky plan hoping to make some easy money.

"We're the wholesome family they're looking for," he said holding up the printed out copy of the ad, as if it was a trophy and as if our family had already been selected.

"Wait, Bob, I can't hear you," said my Mom from the kitchen.

My Dad was like that, counting his money before even earning it. Yet, I had to give my Dad credit for having undying confidence that never made him give up his dream for fame and fortune.

"Kathy come look at this," he said calling my Mom, again. "Where's Jimmy and Susan? I want them to read this, too. This is it! This is really it! Finally, this is the opportunity I've been waiting for and this is something we can do as a family."

My Dad was big on doing things as a family, maybe because he had been born an orphan, abandoned by his mother, and left in a church pew. Never having been adopted he was shuttled from one foster care family to another. Is it any wonder why my Dad is a little screwy?

Still, the thought that someone was looking for our family sounded funny, especially coming from my Dad. I didn't know anyone was looking for us, as a family, other than creditors and bill collectors, that is. My Dad was always behind on his bills. Moreover, to imagine that he thinks our family is wholesome, instead of the incestuous perverts that I now realize we all are, makes me question my Dad's sanity. Perhaps he believes that incest is wholesome, too.

Judging us from the surface and by our good looks, I could understand why my Dad and others, who didn't really know us, would think we were a wholesome family. Much like the Osmond family with Marie and Donnie and their good looking siblings or the Jackson family with Michael and Janet, as well as the rest of their good looking siblings, my brother and I are very good looking. Only, as in those dysfunctional families, as in ours, looks and a happy family life can be deceiving. Just as you never know what goes on behind closed doors, the truth of the matter is that one never knows the skeletons that hide in the closets of families, whether wholesome appearing or not.

Moreover, being attractive has little to do with being Christian and wholesome or depraved and immoral for that matter. Behind the good looks, behind the smiling faces, and behind the facade we present to strangers and how people erroneously perceive us, just because we are a bunch of beautiful people, they assume that we are a normal, happy, and well adjusted family. If only they knew the real truth. If only they knew about the sexy shenanigans that our family plays behind closed doors.

For sure, lunacy holds no boundaries with regards to outside appearances. There are as many good looking crazy people, as there are good looking ugly people. Ted Bundy, the serial killer comes to mind. He was a handsome man and good looking enough to get women to willingly go with him, before raping them and murdering them. In that regard, as our family has plenty of dirty, little secrets to confess, I always wondered what incestuous secrets the Osmond family and/or the Jackson family, as well as other families, not as famous, had to tell. Certainly, without doubt, we are not the only family engaging in sexy games and incestuous relationships. Incest is everywhere, perhaps, even in your house.

My Mom and Dad are super good looking. He's as handsome as my mom is stunningly gorgeous. If given the opportunity, they could have been models or movie stars. My Dad looks like a taller and younger version of Dick Clark and my Mom, both in face and in body, looks like a blonde Katherine Zeta Jones. Genetically blessed, my brother and I got our good looks from them. Jimmy is the spitting image of my Dad, only younger, and I look just like my Mom, only a little taller and a little thinner.

"What are you getting us into now, Bob?"

My Mom came in from the kitchen wiping her hands on her apron. Resigned to go along with him for, yet, another doomed adventure, if only to keep him out of trouble, my Mom looked at my Dad through tired eyes with suspicion, before looking at him with disappointment. Difficult to be positive, she had been down this road with him many times before and with each failure it was more difficult to share his enthusiasm for his next get rich quick adventure.

Living with my Dad, the ultimate dreamer, in the way how he fantasized about his immediate success and hoping to live the life of Riley, was much how I imagine it'd be growing up with Don Quixote, as a father, or with a failed inventor, as my Dad, someone who never stopped trying to succeed by always inventing something new and different, inventions that never took off and sold. My Dad was always coming up with harebrain schemes to make money. From pyramid schemes to Internet scams to selling things door-to-door that didn't work as advertised, he'd try anything to make a quick buck.

Excited by the success he'd have and the riches he'd make, he was always looking for fast and easy ways to make money without having to work for a living. The entrepreneurial type, he didn't subscribe to working for someone else. You don't make any money working for someone else, he'd always said. Working for yourself is how you earn real money. For a man who didn't have a regular 9 to 5 job, never had a regular 9 to 5 job, he was always busy and most times made enough money to keep us all in food and clothes with a roof over our head. That's not to say there weren't some lean and desperate times, there were but, all and all, we've had fun and it's been an adventure living life large with Daddy.

Yet, admittedly, this opportunity could be different. Now that I think about it, this nude modeling job could work for us. Although embarrassed somewhat, by the thoughts of posing naked in front of my brother and father, I was more than excited to admit that this nude modeling had some real possibilities.

Honestly, when you really think about it, how many families would shed their clothes and get naked in front of one another to earn a few dollars? Definitely, we'd have the leg up on those families who wouldn't get naked and that alone would give us an edge of getting this nude modeling job over other families that may be better looking or more talented, but who couldn't get naked. Moreover and realistically, I'm not so ashamed to admit that my perverted family would have no objection to not only removing their clothes but also to having sex with one another, so long as the price was right.

After all, nude modeling is fast, easy, and legal. As unbelievable as it may seem, getting naked was the one bright idea my Dad has had in a long time and the one sensible thing that may be a perfect fit for our perverted family. No doubt, once we got passed the awkwardness and the embarrassment of being naked together, once we put the feelings of incestuous lust aside and just thought of it as a job, and as a way to earn some much needed money, this Earth Day nude modeling job could work for us and may, very well, open the door for other commercial, albeit nude modeling opportunities.

Immodestly immoral, we were a good looking family with or without our clothes, which is something we had over other families. Yeah, sure, there are lots of good looking families, but not so much when they are naked. Trust me, I know. I've seen naked people in the movies, on the Internet, and at the nude beach and not everyone looks good naked and as good as we do without their clothes. We all look good naked, something that I discovered much later in the story, after I saw my brother, my mother, and my Dad naked. Genetically superior, if anything, we're a hot family.

Without doubt, we could be the wholesome family for the Wholesome Family Foods Company. Why not? Especially when considering how celebrities put forth a fake persona that is nothing, at all, how they live and how they are in real life. The world is full of paradoxes, as well as phonies. Just as shallow as any celebrities can be, something we are good at, being shallow, definitely, we are both of those, full of paradoxes and acting phony.

Take Tiger Woods, as a recent example. The perfect athlete, the perfect man, and the perfect husband and father. Only, scratch the surface and more than a dozen lovers appear out of the woodwork to ruin his perfect persona.

Although our family was not a wholesome family morally, we could certainly look and play the part long enough to put forth the persona that we were the perfect wholesome and well adjusted family, just as Tiger Woods put forth the persona that he was the perfect man, husband, and father. All we were required to do was remove our clothes, pose, and smile. How easy is that? We can do that. We're good at smiling, while removing our clothes and posing.

Much like Ben and Jerry's ice cream of old, before they sold the business and joined corporate America, the Wholesome Family Food Company was out of Vermont. If there was a company that was the embodiment of Earth day, it was the Wholesome Family Foods Company. It was a company that had a social conscious, one that was as much about making money, as it was about recycling, protecting, and saving the environment. With more and more people carrying the save the planet banner and trying to walk with a smaller carbon footprint by recycling and conserving, every company in America should take heed of the kind of company that the Wholesome Family Foods is and copy their formula for success. Without doubt, we need more socially responsible companies like Wholesome Family Foods to help combat global warming.

Established at a time before protecting and preserving the ecology became fashionable and was the right thing to do, Wholesome Family Foods started as a hippie commune. They grew their own organic foods and what they didn't eat, they sold at farm stands setup along the highway using the money earned from that to buy those things that they needed but couldn't grow. Years later, after those who left the commune and the free spirited hippie lifestyle to become responsible adults with families of their own, they returned to the hippie commune with their business and legal degrees and practical commercial experience. They were now the perfect bridge of businessmen and businesswomen, who not only understood the communal way of life but also who understood how to make money on Wall Street by helping their growing farm to go public. They helped those, who had stayed behind in the commune to shape and fashion the farm into a moneymaking business, ergo the Wholesome Family Foods Company.

Now, years later, translating the business desires of the owners creatively, their art director wanted an ad campaign that reflected the free spirit that once existed back in the '60's. Before the business went public and had a listing on the New York Stock Exchange with stock offerings, dividends paid, and stock splits, the management of Wholesome Family Foods wanted to recapture the values of honesty and openness. Values that had been lost with subsidized farming and on businesses that have grown too big and were only concerned with making more money for their investors by making process foods from artificial growth hormones injected in plants and animals, Wholesome Family Foods was the right company at the right time.

Nudity was their way of showing that they had nothing to hide in revealing the ingredients of their foods. If anything, using nudity to highlight the wholesomeness of their foods, it was a clever ad campaign, one that may work or one that may backfire, depending on the public's perception and reception of their advertisement campaign. Yet, with this climate of everyone wanting to eat healthier and wanting to save the planet, by getting back to nature and all things natural, this company was poised for success and Earth Day was the perfect day to showcase their company with a provocative, new ad campaign.

Of course, they really weren't going to do a nude advertisement. They couldn't publish a nude ad in all the mainstay magazines, Red Book, Good Housekeeping, Readers' Digest, and Family Circle that they needed to market and target the people, who'd read those publications and eat their foods. Much in the way that Jennifer Aniston wore only a necktie in her recent photo shoot and/or how PETA portrays it's naked models by covering just enough of them to not only make people look at their ad but also to remember their message, the family chosen to represent Wholesome Family Foods would wear nothing but the Wholesale Family Food banner, the same banner that graced their packaging, only made larger to grace and cover their nude bodies.

Nonetheless, just because the camera didn't capture all of their nudity, whichever family was picked as nude models would all be naked behind the lens and all those employees on the set would surely see the wholesome family chosen to represent Wholesome Family Foods in all their naked and au naturale splendor. By covering the sensitive areas of the body with food packaging banners, it was the advertisers way of placating the censors and their critics, who'd surely complain that their ad was too racy for a wholesome food commercial. Although they could certainly use the publicity, media coverage, and press that their ad was labeled too racy, they didn't want their message lost in the ensuing YouTube videos and other Internet parodied pornography that their ad would surely spur.

The nude modeling idea was a daring ad campaign that the company hoped would continue, at least until next year's Super Bowl, where they were hoping to make a big splash then with the family chosen now, by doing even more nude ads and even making the family chosen their family spokes models. The main focus behind the ad wasn't sex or incest, of course; far from it. It was to make the point that wholesome families were families not hung up, inhibited, and ashamed to not only remove their clothes but also to show that they were open and honest about the healthy, organic foods they ate, much in the same way that Wholesome Family Foods was open and honest about their ingredients. By shunning mainstream processed foods, wholesome families were the health conscious and conservationist families. Whole food families were unafraid to take a stand to not only preserve their bodies but also to save their planet by the food choices they made and by putting their trust in the company, Wholesome Family Foods Company, who shared their social concerns for a cleaner environment.

A win/win for the company, it was a perfect advertising campaign at the perfect time. Their motto, one that showed they had nothing to hide, was a resurgence of the hippie movement from the sixties, Let It All Hang Out, that told their customers that their foods were open for inspection. They wanted those who chose their organic foods to know that there were no fillers, additives, growth hormones, and artificial ingredients or colors of any kind in all the foods that they made. In tune with a time when everyone was trying to eat healthier by returning to nature, while saving the planet, their foods weren't processed but all natural.

The photographer was looking for a certain look. He was the only one who knew what that look was. The ad didn't even specify what age he wanted, except that all family members needed to be older than 18-years-old. He didn't specify which ethnicity he wanted and it didn't appear that mattered either. Maybe it was just that he didn't know, until he saw it and until he auditioned families to see it. What was the "it" he wanted? Even the photographer didn't know it, until he saw "it". Creative types are like that, not coming up with an idea of what they want and what they need, until inspired.

All of this started from a Craigslist advertisement. I didn't even know an adult category existed on Craigslist, but my Dad knew. I guess, he reads it regularly, along with other raunchy things. He and my Mom haven't been as close as a husband and wife should be lately, and my Dad has turned to Online pornography to satisfy his sexual urges and perverted needs, no doubt. I've even heard him masturbating in the bathroom.

"Eww."

Sorry, but the thought of my dad with his hand firmly clasped around his erect cock, while masturbating, is an image that I'd rather not have, if you don't mind. I can't imagine him stroking himself and then ejaculating in a tissue. Yet, now that I'm thinking about him masturbating, I'm curious.

Along with the thoughts of wondering what my Dad's cock looks like, I wonder what he thinks about, while jerking off. I can't help but wonder if he thinks about me, his daughter. Why not? If he's attracted to my Mom, why wouldn't he be attracted to me? I look just like my Mom, only younger, taller, thinner, and prettier. I can't help but wonder if he masturbates over doing his daughter.