I drove home that Wednesday evening, having dropped Lucy at her house, with mixed feelings. A wild sex evening with Lucy and TJ would be just like old times, and finding a woman who actually wanted dirty, kinky sex was a rarity. But, as I thought of how I had to protect Davinia from this episode, I felt dirty. I guess that's why it's called that sort of sex. I felt like a moth, I couldn't help the feeling of being attracted to the flame of all that Saturday night promised, but I also felt it could be bad for me, not what I should be doing, not even really what I wanted to be doing. But, it's too late for that. I've set it up, and TJ deserves it.
On Thursday evening, Davinia came round and I cooked hot 'n spicy. Well at lunch time I'd found that my favourite greengrocer had just got in a stock of four different types of chillies. So I couldn't resist having an excuse to use them.
We then spent the evening planning a Champagne dinner. We had all my recipe books out, and went through them choosing recipes. It was fun, we were both crawling around on the floor, trying to find recipes that we had only read half an hour before, but which we'd already lost. By eleven o'clock the dinner was beginning to take shape, and was looking good. I promised to talk to Tim to agree a date.
I also talked to Davinia about TJ coming to stay. She really seemed pleased to be meeting an old friend on mine. She didn't seem to mind that we wouldn't have our Saturday evening date, but that she would come to lunch on both Saturday and Sunday. I covered Saturday evening as just a boy's night out, in fact she told me of a pub that she'd heard of in Sheepen that had strippers and a comic, I didn't like to tell her that I knew it well.
I met TJ at the station. I was shocked at just how he looked. He had let himself go to seed, and certainly gained more than a few pounds. His hair was showing more than the early signs of receding, and he had it cut in an old fashioned and unflattering style. But what really worried me was his unhealthy pale puffiness, I guess gained from a very unbalanced bachelor diet. I had been thinking that I hadn't seen him for about a year, now I realised that it was nearly two years.
I took him to the Black Swan for a drink, it wouldn't have been fair to join the usual TGI drink, too many faces for TJ to remember. At the pub he went down another step in my estimation, he wanted to drink lager!
I couldn't resist showing my disgust, "Since when have you drunk lager? Fucking traitor to the cause."
"Oh, I just took to it about eighteen months ago, and it slips down easily and has the same effect." I think he was genuinely surprised at my attitude.
I didn't want our first real conversation in two years to be an argument, but I thought I could pull his leg, and remind him a little of how he's obviously let thinks slip, "You look as if you've been letting too many lagers slip down. Trousers a bit tight these days?"
"OK. So you've obviously worked hard, probably half starving yourself, to keep the same waistline as you had at college. Me? I see it that thirty is going to arrive bloody soon, and it's fair to relax a bit. Gyms and stupid little lettuce leaf diets are for wimps."
"I'll rise above that." I smiled and drank some real beer.
And then he took another step downwards. He got out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, and lit himself one. I watched, "And since when have you taken up smoking? And for God's sake why?"
"Yeah, it's a bad habit. I don't really know why I started, I guess I found it nice when that bitch Gayle walked out. So that's what? Two years?"
"But you're twenty eight. How stupid can you get to start smoking at that age? It's fucking suicide."
"Piss off, Dave. So I smoke? So fucking well what?"
"Well I'll tell you now, my place is a no smoking zone. Understood?"
"Yeah! Whatever! Fucking puritan! I'll only smoke in the bedroom, I won't foul up your clean air."
"No, you won't smoke in the bedroom. You won't smoke anywhere in the flat. You'll go outside if you must." I stared at him until he dropped his eyes in defeat.
We sat and drunk in silence. This wasn't what a reunion with an old and dear friend should be like.
I broke the silence, "Gayle leaving you really broke you up, didn't it."
He looked at me, a bit sullen, and then he sort of smiled, "Yeah, well. My own silly fault really. I got a bit to friendly with one of her office friends at a company do. And she sort of found me. I hadn't got my trousers round my ankles or anything, but I would have if she'd come along later. I think it was the last straw really."
"But I thought you loved her? This was the one who was right for you, after Carol and all that."
"Well, you know. A year into a relationship, the rules sort of change. You want some variety, the same old scenery every night gets a bit boring. You should know that, you've never been bored in your life."
"But this wasn't me. You split up from Carol because you wanted a mortgage and kids, and she wasn't ready for that. Then you find Gayle and she's the one. That's what you told me, 'This time Dave, I found Miss Right' I remember you saying it. And then in a year you're screwing around on her. But, by the way she's driven you to smoking and letting yourself go a bit, I guess you regret it."
He looked up, hurt but aggressive, "What d'you mean 'letting myself go a bit' I told you, I just can't be bothered to keep as trim as I once did, that's all. I'm getting to old for all of that. It's got nothing to do with that fucking bitch."
"Why is she such a fucking bitch? Because she couldn't live with you playing around on her? I've found that most women seem to object to that sort of thing, it's one of the rules of the game."
"Well there you go then. They're all fucking bitches. It's bred into them. I thought that was your philosophy Dave. Isn't that why you've never let yourself be dragged to the altar?"
"My God, you really do sound bitter, TJ. You should watch that, it isn't a pretty way to live. And, no, I don't think all women are bitches. I used to think that however hard the guy tried, they would fail in a long term relationship. But lately, I've even begun to doubt that. I reckon they're like us in some ways, scared to get hurt; getting hurt even when we don't mean to hurt them; hurting us guys when they didn't mean to. Just trying to get it right, like us guys, and not always getting it right." I sighed.
Again we sat in silence. I was thinking about Davinia and where she fitted in my philosophy of life. TJ brought me back to the present, "So, what's this about tomorrow night, then? What you got lined up for me?" he seemed a little too keen.
"Before that, I want to talk about my girlfriend, Davinia. Now..."
"Davinia, that's a posh name. You screwing class ladies these days, then?"
"Dav is a nice girl. Now I want it clearly understood, she is off limits to you in any bloody way whatsoever. Don't even think about it. Understand?"
"Yeah. OK. But don't tell me you've gone all lovey dovey with some tart who doesn't know about the real Dave Finch."
"Well, we ain't lovey dovey as you put it. We've only been together for a couple of months, but she's a nice straightforward girl, who doesn't have any interest in any of your dirty suggestions. And, she doesn't need to know about some of the more broadminded things we got up to at university. Understand?"
