NOTE: This is a stand-alone story but one of our continuing swinger adventures. I hope you find it enjoyable. Thanks
Chapter 3: The Knight's Inn Experience. Are You Experienced?
So, we survived our first adventure in the world of swinging!
WOOOOO!!!!
Well, it certainly was an experience.
But there wasn't much swinging.
I don't even think that Anne and I had sex when we got home that night. Instead, we were too grossed out by the whole experience. We probably spent a little time in the shower. Like for, I don't know, maybe four hours or so. Scrubbing vigorously. How long does it take to get the creepy feeling of a one legged porn woman off of your body
But we didn't give up! We had a desire to enter the world of swinging and by golly we were gonna make it there!
I guess memories do cloud over time, because after a while, we thought about trying to get together with Kevin and Misty again. I know, I know, you're thinking, "But what about the whole puking thing?" Well, I gotta tell ya, being horny makes you forget. Or maybe makes you stupid. Or both. Whatever the reason, we were willing to put that behind us and move forward. Try to get together again and see if something could happen with them.
This time, we decided to meet them at a restaurant to catch a bite for dinner and see where it went from there. I looked, but unfortunately there were no alcohol free restaurants that were nearby that weren't of the fast food variety. So we ended up meeting them at an Applebee's. The neutral ground of swinger-dom. Yes, I know that the food sucks (Sorry Applebee's but it's true! Oh, it's true!) but it is a great place to meet up with another couple. That way, if things just aren't clicking between you and them, you can easily make your escape between the waitress bringing you the giant overpriced light beer and her serving the bland yet heat of the sun temperature chicken fajitas. Wooo! Hot and tasteless!!! Yummy!
I guess that brings us to the first rule of swinging.
The First Rule of Swinging. Never, ever, ever agree to meet someone in your home.
Never. Ever. I mean, who knows what kind of whack jobs the other people turn out to be? And you want them in your home? You need to really, really, really know the other people before inviting them to your house. And even then it's probably not a good idea.
So, we met at neutral ground. Applebee's. I had a lite beer.
And fajitas. Chicken.
We got there before Kevin and Misty did. A good thing, as it didn't give Misty time to get all liquored up. Anne was still nervous. Hell, I was nervous. Even though we'd spent an evening with them already, it still wasn't an easy thing to meet up with them and talk about fucking. I mean, we barely knew them. And we were gonna get down to business on how this wild sex session was gonna go down over some jalapeno poppers. Well, and maybe chat about other stuff. But we all know that fucking is really the thing on everyone's mind.
So, they showed up. I think Kevin had a lite beer.
And we had a fantastic conversation with them.
Ha!
Just kidding.
It was painful as usual. Filled with a lot of awkward, pregnant pauses. We just had nothing in common with them. They had nothing in common with us. We talked. They, uh, didn't.
Wait. We both breathed oxygen! Great! Some common ground! Not a lot of conversation based on the whole oxygen thing though. "So, um Kevin. . .Uh, how 'bout that oxygen? Some good stuff huh? Keeping those cells working and all. Good stuff."
After some small talk about the weather and local sports teams, the conversation simply collapsed all together. At least for a while.
"So, um, what are you thinking about order for dinner?"
"The fajitas."
"Hey, us too!"
[. . .]
*crickets chirping*
Wow.
Not.Gonna.Happen.
Anne was giving me one of her looks. One of her patented stare downs. You know that look. Like the one that Abbot used to give to Costello.
"What kinda nonsense have you gotten us into now you moron?!?"
That's what her look said to me.
I sank a bit lower down behind my frosty mug and tried to plot my strategy. I just didn't want to give up. As bad as things looked, we were still holding on. Well, I was holding on. It was still possible to call this mission a success. To declare victory. I just wanted to see Misty naked. Just a little bit of female flesh. Just gimme one naked boob! Is that too much to ask for? A goddamned bare breast? One freakin' titty?
I think not!
But it was gonna be tough. I turned to Kevin and Misty to say something.
Strike that.
I looked back over at Anne. She was lacing up her running shoes.
Ready to bolt.
Ohhhhh boy.
It was now or never. Time to make my move. Stand up and take charge!
"So, uh, what does everyone feel like doing?"
Way to be strong there moron! Decisive! Kevin and Misty said nothing. No big shock there. Anne gave me a horrified look like an alien was about to burst through my chest. I started to sweat. This was not the fantastic swinging evening that I had imagined taking place. Instead, I felt like it was a scene out of a horror movie.
Just as the creepy music was about to start and the crazed psycho-killer would start plunging a sharp knife into my chest repeatedly, it happened.
"We could go get a hotel room."
Wait a minute. Who said that? Kevin? My god! Kevin! He talked? He talked!!! Holy shit he knows how to talk! Hallelujah and praise the Lord he knows how to talk! He's been healed!! Tears welled up in my eyes. Thank you Kevin! I looked at Misty. Tiny sweet little Misty. Although her head was almost completely hidden behind her large beer mug, she nodded vigorously in approval. God I loved that tiny little alcoholic woman!
[Mental note. No more beers for the itty-bitty blond in the corner.]
That's two. They're in! They want action! They want to get a hotel room! They wanna get nasty! Mmmmm, nasty!
Now, the tough one. I was almost afraid to look. What if she says no? What if she says nothing? What if she's caught the no talk disease from Kevin and Misty? What if she turns out to be the psycho-killer and starts plunging a knife into my chest??? I shut my eyes. Slowly turned my head. Keeping one eye shut tightly, I sloooowly open the other one and looked at Anne. I was a squinty, horny one-eyed staring doofus, looking at my wife.
Quite the swinging stud I must say.
She was looking at me. With her patented "What the fuck are you doing?" look.
She has a lot of different looks. Or at least I think she does. I gave her my, "So whaddya think about Kevin's idea to go get a hotel room" look. Trust me, it's not an easy one to pull off. You eyebrows have to literally be going in different directions. I almost sprained my forehead.
Anne stared back. Kinda blankly.
