Chapter Four: The Mistress
"I thought she would throttle you for sure!" Pellenica said in disbelief as she entered the cell.
"You losing your touch or something?" Valencia inquired with a slight frown on her face as she also entered the room. "I thought for sure you'd have her legs in the air by now." She finished with crossed arms as she looked at me with a disappointed yet frustrated look about her.
"I'll try harder next time." I quipped back, I was not at all impressed by her attitude. "I have feelings you know! I care for Jealile a great deal I'll have you know and I won't mess that up for anything!" I snapped and looked away from her feeling the genuine hurt and disgust that I had for myself.
"Who said anything about Jealile? I was talking about the Captain." Valencia said with a puzzled look on her face.
"Well I don't think Jealile would be too impressed to hear that I had sex with another woman, do you?" I urged, trying to convey the distress and anguish I felt. "I don't know how I'm going to explain Yeoline to her." I said shaking my head dejectedly for the moment as the emotions welled up in me.
I felt like a first class heal, I should have kept better control of the situation and I knew it. I had sinned once with Greta, then with Jealile and now with Yeoline. I know that it was not right to be doing what I had done with these women, whether they were willing or not is not the point. Apart from Greta, I cared deeply for the two other women I had sinned with, I only hoped that God would take that into account and forgive me.
It all happened so fast and before I knew it I was in the thick of it. I mean how can a man tell one woman that he loves her one day and then sleep with her best friend the next. That was not a real man as far as I was concerned, I was not being true and faithful to the woman I loved. I knew that I now ran the risk of ruining something special with Jealile all for the quick tryst with Yeoline.
"Hey, don't worry about it." Pellenica said tenderly as she stat down beside her. "I don't think she'll care, as long as you still love her." She said as she put her arm around my shoulder in an act of compassion and friendship.
"If I lose her because of a moment of weakness." My words trailed off as a tear rolled down my cheek and I looked away from her in shame.
"Don't worry about it. Honestly I don't think she'll mind." Pellenica said reassuringly as she squeezed my shoulder.
"I don't see why she wouldn't care! I betrayed her trust by sleeping with someone else, and a friend of hers to boot!" I replied still not consoled, still hating myself for what I had done.
"I thought you were planning on marrying both of them anyways?" Pellenica inquired, looking a little puzzled at the moment.
"What? How can that be?" I said shaking my head now completely confused.
"Well, at least that's what Jealile told us." Pellenica added calmly, now a little confused herself.
"WHAT?" I replied, shocked to hear that from Jealile.
"That's what she said alright." Valencia added assuredly. "I remember specifically asking Jealile to marry me but I don't remember proposing to Yeoline." I said scratching my head trying to figure it all out. As you can guess it was a little confusing to me at the time.
"That first night you promised to select them at the Harvest Festival didn't you?" Pellenica inquired and awaited my response, reading my face for any reaction to the news.
"Well, not in so many words, I promised to remember them at the Harvest Festival. But what that has to do with marriage I don't know?" I responded with a furrowed brow and a confused mind.
"See, you admit that you promised them!" Valencia said accusingly. "So what's wrong with Jealile and Yeoline? They're good friends and will get along fine, they'll be great Fellowives." Valencia said now curiously confused at my reaction.
"But I can only marry one!" I stated the obvious again in shock and exasperation.
"Why?" Valencia and Pellenica said in a confused chorus.
"What do you mean why! That's the way that it is! One man, one wife!" I replied stunned almost silent.
"Why would you be so selfish?" Valencia shouted, sounding hurt and turned away from me. "I thought you were better than that!" She said now facing away from me. "I thought you were different." She finished quietly, not looking at me and she seemed genuinely upset with me at the moment.
"But that's the way it has always been; I can't change that." I replied now looking to Pellenica for support and found her demeanour was calmer than Valencia's, but no less hurt.
"On Tania, women greatly outnumber men by about twenty to one. By your way of thinking, there would be so many people unhappy and lonely." Pellenica started out calmly and paused.
"I had noticed the odd balance men to women here but I didn't know just how off balance it was, why is that?" I inquired curiously.